I have been divorced for 3 years. I have three fantastic boys from that marriage (10, 8, & 3). We need did a child custody agreement. We agreed on everything in the beginning. Now I am getting frustrated. I would never keep them from their father but he is making me think that I shoudl consider it. He calls screaming fowl names at me or the boys come home saying that dad called me a F*** B****. The boys are upset by this. They have told me that he is telling them that he will buy them things if they move in with him. He is also forcing them to call his new girlfriend MOM which they are not happy about. Most recently he through a fit because Ihe wanted them Mothers Day weekend and I said that they should be with me. Another major issue is his drinking. My 10 year old has told me that he gets scared when dad drinks while driving. I have tried to speak with him about this but then he takes it out on the boys for telling me. I don't know what to do. I really can't afford an attorney but I feel that the boys safety is at risk but have no proof of that except what they tell me. Any ideas????

I have been divorced for 3 years. I have three fantastic boys from that marriage (10, 8, & 3). We need did a child custody agreement. We agreed on everything in the beginning. Now I am getting frustrated. I would never keep them from their father but he is making me think that I shoudl consider it. He calls screaming fowl names at me or the boys come home saying that dad called me a F*** B****. The boys are upset by this. They have told me that he is telling them that he will buy them things if they move in with him. He is also forcing them to call his new girlfriend MOM which they are not happy about. Most recently he through a fit because Ihe wanted them Mothers Day weekend and I said that they should be with me. Another major issue is his drinking. My 10 year old has told me that he gets scared when dad drinks while driving. I have tried to speak with him about this but then he takes it out on the boys for telling me. I don't know what to do. I really can't afford an attorney but I feel that the boys safety is at risk but have no proof of that except what they tell me. Any ideas????

Start documenting the problems, and get a consult with a local attorney.
Once you have enough proof, you can file for a modification asking that the court order that both parents are prohibited from speaking badly about the other parent.
Once that is in the court order, you can file for contempt if he continues.

here is no current court order. Now my oldest does not want to go visit but I don't want to cause more issues for me later. My questions is do I have to force him to go since there is no court order? Will that hurt me later? I hate to send him if he is scared to go.

here is no current court order. Now my oldest does not want to go visit but I don't want to cause more issues for me later. My questions is do I have to force him to go since there is no court order? Will that hurt me later? I hate to send him if he is scared to go.

I'm confused. How were you able to be divorced without having a court order that established custody and visitation?

We filed the paperwork for the divorce on our own at the local courthouse. There was no custody order. In fact, we never appeared in front of a judge. We just filled the papers out waited a few months and took more papers in. A few weeks later I got the divorce decree. So there is no custody agreement

We filed the paperwork for the divorce on our own at the local courthouse. There was no custody order. In fact, we never appeared in front of a judge. We just filled the papers out waited a few months and took more papers in. A few weeks later I got the divorce decree. So there is no custody agreement

Then you'll need to file for a custody and visitation order ASAP.

Ok but do I have to make the kids go see him while this is occuring? My 10 yr old just brought a note home from school today stating that his behavior has been negative and he has been real emotional. I have been divorced for 2 years so I dont think that is the casue. I really think its his dad

Ok but do I have to make the kids go see him while this is occuring? My 10 yr old just brought a note home from school today stating that his behavior has been negative and he has been real emotional. I have been divorced for 2 years so I dont think that is the casue. I really think its his dad

Since you have allowed visits without a court order, it will not look good in court if you suddenly stop the visits while waiting for an order.

When you file, you should request that a GAL be appointed. You should also get your kids into counseling ASAP. It will help them, and will help you document the problems in a way that can be presented in court.