I have a couple things I am having a hard time figuring out.:confused:

never married to NCP, we have 2 kids (3 and 2 yrs old).

1- finally had my day in court, got orders that he will start to pay 4/1/09 :D .

for the 3 yrs prior the NCP didnt not pay (no order in place) can I get "back child support" from him? if so what do I need to do?

** I am married and currently moved out of state to WA per my husbands military order, so I can not go to GA**

2- now that there is a child support order, what is the likely hood for him having visitation? keep in mind me and the children live out of state now since jan 2009

I have a couple things I am having a hard time figuring out.:confused:

never married to NCP, we have 2 kids (3 and 2 yrs old).

1- finally had my day in court, got orders that he will start to pay 4/1/09 :D .

for the 3 yrs prior the NCP didnt not pay (no order in place) can I get "back child support" from him? if so what do I need to do?

** I am married and currently moved out of state to WA per my husbands military order, so I can not go to GA**

2- now that there is a child support order, what is the likely hood for him having visitation? keep in mind me and the children live out of state now since jan 2009

1. Did you ever file for CS BEFORE the current order was in place? If not, then no, you likely will not be entitled to retro-support. The reason - you could have applied for it earlier. I am in a different state, but that is how it worked for me. Illinois allows for back support, but the fact that I never filed basically made me inelligible. You were capable of filing for the support three years ago, that is how the court will see it.

2. He will not have visitation until he applies for it, but once he applies for it, the liklihood that he will get it, assuming he is not a danger to the children, is 100 percent. NCPs are allowed to visit their children. Seeing as you are the one who moved, you will likely be the one responsible for the cost of transportation. At a minimum, you will split it.

1. Did you ever file for CS BEFORE the current order was in place? If not, then no, you likely will not be entitled to retro-support. The reason - you could have applied for it earlier. I am in a different state, but that is how it worked for me. Illinois allows for back support, but the fact that I never filed basically made me inelligible. You were capable of filing for the support three years ago, that is how the court will see it.

2. He will not have visitation until he applies for it, but once he applies for it, the liklihood that he will get it, assuming he is not a danger to the children, is 100 percent. NCPs are allowed to visit their children. Seeing as you are the one who moved, you will likely be the one responsible for the cost of transportation. At a minimum, you will split it.


I did file CS before and nothing happened of it. I moved and the last I heard was they dropped the case. I had to pay to restart the case.

I dont quit understand why I would have to pay for the travel when we were never married. My thoughts on it would be- if HE wanted to see them he would be responsible for the cost ( going off my current husbands situation with his kids and his ex ).

how would I go about getting the retro active CS?

I did file CS before and nothing happened of it. I moved and the last I heard was they dropped the case. I had to pay to restart the case.

See, this troubles me. When you file a motion, it is your responsibility to know where and when court dates are, to stay up to date, etc. You said "last I heard." The only reason the case would be dropped is for want of prosecution, meaning, you failed to prosecute. A CS case won't be dropped just because a NCP didn't show. That wouldn't stop the orders from going through.

I dont quit understand why I would have to pay for the travel when we were never married. My thoughts on it would be- if HE wanted to see them he would be responsible for the cost ( going off my current husbands situation with his kids and his ex ).

how would I go about getting the retro active CS?

Marriage has nothing to do with it. You two had children together. It doesn't matter that you were not married, they are just as much his children as they are yours. When you moved away, you created the situation where he could not see the kids. Therefore, it is your responisbiltiy to pay for the transportation so he CAN see the children.

What was your relationship beforehand? Did you live together? Was he regularly involved in the children's lives? IS he aware that you have moved? What did he say when you told him you were moving? DID you tell him you were moving, or did you just up and go? Is there any custody/visitation order in place currently?

Retro-support is a question for your lawyer.

See, this troubles me. When you file a motion, it is your responsibility to know where and when court dates are, to stay up to date, etc. You said "last I heard." The only reason the case would be dropped is for want of prosecution, meaning, you failed to prosecute. A CS case won't be dropped just because a NCP didn't show. That wouldn't stop the orders from going through.



Marriage has nothing to do with it. You two had children together. It doesn't matter that you were not married, they are just as much his children as they are yours. When you moved away, you created the situation where he could not see the kids. Therefore, it is your responisbiltiy to pay for the transportation so he CAN see the children.

What was your relationship beforehand? Did you live together? Was he regularly involved in the children's lives? IS he aware that you have moved? What did he say when you told him you were moving? DID you tell him you were moving, or did you just up and go? Is there any custody/visitation order in place currently?

Retro-support is a question for your lawyer.


we were never married and lived together for about 2 months before he left and since then has not asked nor wanted to see them one time. the offer has been open for all 3 years but he shows no interest.
and from the child support division they said it would be the CP choice to tell the NCP if we moved. there are other major issues that happened involving my oldest child which I dont not feel to share- so needless to say I feel no need to tell the NCP where or when we moved. he does however have my email address which has not changed in over 5 years so he does know how to reach me. this I am sure of because I send him an email or response to his email when he does write. there also was never a visitation order in place- we were never married and the NCP never pursued it.

from researching just now I found that in MANY cases the judge will rule in what is fair for both parents in some cases it may mean a 50/50 split but again that may mean the NCP pays for ALL travel fairs.... but this may be determined my the judge in the city where the child reside ( which is in a different state then the NCP )

we were never married and lived together for about 2 months before he left and since then has not asked nor wanted to see them one time. the offer has been open for all 3 years but he shows no interest.
This is unfortunate and common. My son's father did not contact me for 2 1/2 years. I honeslty thought maybe he died. Then one day *BAM* he files for visitation. He got it immediately, supervised first, not he gets EOW. Not showing interest does not remove the liklihood of attaining that visitation once it is asked for.
and from the child support division they said it would be the CP choice to tell the NCP if we moved.
Child support and visitaiton are two separate issues. You *may* not need to tell him if you moved as far as where your payments are going. But that has nothing to do with letting him know where you physically moved the children. Even without orders in place, the proper thing to do was to inform him where you were moving and when.
there are other major issues that happened involving my oldest child which I dont not feel to share- so needless to say I feel no need to tell the NCP where or when we moved.
So you are saying that currently, you left the state with his children and he doesn't know. If he chooses to pursue visitaiton, this alone is pretty much a guarantee that when he gets it, you WILL have to pay the cost of transportation. You up and left without telling him. Not only will you be responsible for the transportation, but there is also a possibility that if he pursues visitaiton anytime in the near future, you may have to return the children to the state while the case is ongoing. What you did is not permissible in custody cases. If you don't feel like sharing your other issues, than you cannot be given any other answer than this one.
he does however have my email address which has not changed in over 5 years so he does know how to reach me. this I am sure of because I send him an email or response to his email when he does write. there also was never a visitation order in place- we were never married and the NCP never pursued it.
The e-mail really won't cut it when you moved out of state, especially if you are keeping that from him. You need to tell him you moved.
from researching just now I found that in MANY cases the judge will rule in what is fair for both parents in some cases it may mean a 50/50 split but again that may mean the NCP pays for ALL travel fairs.... but this may be determined my the judge in the city where the child reside ( which is in a different state then the NCP )
Yes, in general, 50/50 split for travel is considered fair. But NOT when one parent choses to move. More often than not, if one parent moves, they have to pay the cost of transportation.

Honestly, you have seriously set yourself up for some major problems by leaving the state with the children (across the country, no less) without even informing him and giving him the chance to voice his opinion. It may be that he never pursues it. But be prepared to lose big time if he does.

Again, about back support, IMO, you do not qualify. That is really a question for your lawyer. But once you petition, the cat will be out of the bag as far as your living arrangements.

from researching just now I found that in MANY cases the judge will rule in what is fair for both parents in some cases it may mean a 50/50 split but again that may mean the NCP pays for ALL travel fairs.... but this may be determined my the judge in the city where the child reside ( which is in a different state then the NCP )

I forgot to add here, that currently, if he were to file for visitaiton, that case would be heard in WA, NOT where you currently live. You have to live in GA for 6 months in order for your children to be residents there. The case would be in his jurisdiction. If you never tell him that you have moved, then the case will remian in that jurisdiction, seeing as you haven't given him the opportunity to file in Georgia.

But, that does not matter. You seem to be implying that a judge in YOUR jurisdiction would not make YOU pay to send the kids to HIM. That's simply not true.

Military wife for many, many years. Just want to give you a piece of advice!

If your current hubby gets orders for overseas, you will have to provide proof that the children's father gives his consent for the children to go. I had to get a notarized statement from my Ex that it was ok for my oldest children to go. He also had to give their stepfather medical POA for the kids with a stipulation that he be contacted immediately.