I have been divorced for 11 years and have four children. For a better part of this divorce, my ex has not been a part of the childrens lives. In the divorce papers, I was able to move back to my home state with the children to be closer to my family. The only problem with that, is that I could not afford to live there and moved back to Illinois. I had visitation papers drawn up when I returned thinking it may be an encouragement for him to participate in their lives. He kept them for a few weekends in the first year or two and then stopped coming to pick them up, or found excuses for the weekends he should have them. Eventually, I stopped worrying about it and gave up. A year or more later he calls me collect and says he wants the boys. My youngest was 9 months old when we divorced. I said that would be great, he could have them for the afternoon and I would pick them up. He didn't want that, he wanted them for the whole weekend. Given my two youngest were still very little and hadn't seen the man in a year or more, I didn't think it would be in their best interest. He called me several slang names and hung up. Since then, he has never called to see the boys. His sister took them to visit him 2 Christmas's ago for the day and still after that he never called, never asked to visit with them. They were heartbroken. Since then I have not encouraged her taking them over because he has made no attempt to see them the other 364 days of the year. Not a card, birthday gift, call, absolutely nothing.

If he has made no attempt to see the children in all these years, and while he does pay his child support as required... can I:


Move out of the state closer to my family once again?
What constitutes abandonment?
what would be my best recourse to this situation for myself and my children?


With him being out of the picture for so long, I thought it wouldn't matter if I moved out of state, but I worry that at some point if he decided to be vindictive it could cause me some problems.

Thank you for your help...

I have been divorced for 11 years and have four children. For a better part of this divorce, my ex has not been a part of the childrens lives. In the divorce papers, I was able to move back to my home state with the children to be closer to my family. The only problem with that, is that I could not afford to live there and moved back to Illinois. I had visitation papers drawn up when I returned thinking it may be an encouragement for him to participate in their lives. He kept them for a few weekends in the first year or two and then stopped coming to pick them up, or found excuses for the weekends he should have them. Eventually, I stopped worrying about it and gave up. A year or more later he calls me collect and says he wants the boys. My youngest was 9 months old when we divorced. I said that would be great, he could have them for the afternoon and I would pick them up. He didn't want that, he wanted them for the whole weekend. Given my two youngest were still very little and hadn't seen the man in a year or more, I didn't think it would be in their best interest. He called me several slang names and hung up. Since then, he has never called to see the boys. His sister took them to visit him 2 Christmas's ago for the day and still after that he never called, never asked to visit with them. They were heartbroken. Since then I have not encouraged her taking them over because he has made no attempt to see them the other 364 days of the year. Not a card, birthday gift, call, absolutely nothing.

If he has made no attempt to see the children in all these years, and while he does pay his child support as required... can I:


Move out of the state closer to my family once again?
What constitutes abandonment?
what would be my best recourse to this situation for myself and my children?


With him being out of the picture for so long, I thought it wouldn't matter if I moved out of state, but I worry that at some point if he decided to be vindictive it could cause me some problems.

Thank you for your help...

You'll need to either get his permission, or go back to court before you can move again.

He is paying CS, which counts as contact, so you cannot claim abandonment.

get a consult with a local attorney to find out exactly the steps you need to take.