I have a friend who has two sons that he loves dearly.. He pays all of his child support on a weekly basis and owes nothing.. He only gets to see his kids twice a month for less than 24 hours each visit... He would like to spend more time with his boys as they are now becoming teenagers..The boys also want to spend more time with their father...But their mother is one who has to be in control of ever situation...decides if they can or not...Last weekend was an off weekend for my friend to have his boys and the mother was going out of town for a party at a friends house. The boys wanted to come and stay with their dad instead of going to Grandmas house for the weekend..while their mother was out of town..This I know from talking to the oldest boy..He was deeply troubled by this matter, that he had to go to his grandmas instead of being with his father, but didn't want to push the fact of him going to stay at his dads house in fear of being punished for pushing his controlling mother over the edge. what kind of recourse does my friend have in this situation? He doesn't have much money left after paying his living expenses and support, so getting a lawyer is out of the question...If I could afford it I would get him a lawyer just so he could have more time with his kids...I think they need their dad in these tough times...Can anyone offer any advice as to what he can do to get more time with his kids? It just seems unfair to the boys if they want to spend more time with their dad and because their mom has to take control of everything and everyone...what message is she sending to the boys..

He should gather all the evidence he can that he is able to provide a SAFE, HEALTHY and LOVING environment in HIS home...... this should include pictures of where the boys would be sleeping, etc. Character witnesses, etc.

He should do what he can to ensure that he is active in their lives even when he can't have them - for example, does he go to the school and get copies of their report cards, etc.?? (Assuming there are no restrictions in the custody order, he should be able to get these). Are they involved in sports? Does he go watch, and can he prove he does?

Then........ file for modification of visitation or custody order. He can do this himself without an attorney. Obviously, his chances are better with one, but if his home is in fact a safe & healthy place for the kids to be, he should be able to prove it even without an attorney.

Best wishes,
Amy

Yes he does have a safe home for the boys to be in.. After the divorce it took him almost 8 years to save up enough to get his own home..he lost the other one in the divorce..He loves to watch his boys when they are in sports..Just last year he went to all of their games and the boys play all sports..In fact I recorded all of the oldest boys basketball season and some of his baseball and football..Unless my buddy had to work he was at the games...He is proud of his boys and loves them so much..and if one of the boys has a problem with school he always back up the fact of a good education...I just dislike the fact that his ex has to run everything...The fact of all of this only hurts the boys relationship with their father..and maybe puts a wedge between them and their mom....But thanks for all of your advice I will be sure to pass it along..;)

When seeking his modification, he should ask for Right of First Refusal, which means that if Mom has another trip or can't be with the kids for some reason, he has the option of having them instead. Some designate a time span like 8 or 12 hours or more, or overnight.

www.deltabravo.net has some good sample parenting plans with good suggestions.