My Son was born in 1998 in California, where I was born and raised. At the time I was not married to the father of my son, he signed papers waiving his right to a paternity test and signed the birth certificate. We later married and then divorced 2002. During the divorce he never showed up to court or bothered to even aknowledge the proceedings. The courts ruled for joint custody with supervised vists and minimal child support since I had no proof of his income because he was working under the table. The papers were sent to his last known address where is mom was still living, so I know he got the papers. He never tried to contact the courts to see his son. I moved to Missouri in 2003 with my then fiance, and to this day have never heard from him. In 2004 we married. My ex's mother still lives in the same town as do my family occasionally they will run into each other. It has always been told to us, my family, that they have no idea where my ex is. My husband has been my son's father for most of his life. We are now trying to so a step-parent adoption on our own, as we can not afford an attorney. I got all the papers from one of the sites that promise all the paperwork for a flat fee. Although I have the paperwork, I am still at loss as to what to do next. I know I need to file it with the courts, I guess I would just like to know a kind of step by step proceeding from here.

:confused: Thanks for any help

My Son was born in 1998 in California, where I was born and raised. At the time I was not married to the father of my son, he signed papers waiving his right to a paternity test and signed the birth certificate. We later married and then divorced 2002. During the divorce he never showed up to court or bothered to even aknowledge the proceedings. The courts ruled for joint custody with supervised vists and minimal child support since I had no proof of his income because he was working under the table. The papers were sent to his last known address where is mom was still living, so I know he got the papers. He never tried to contact the courts to see his son. I moved to Missouri in 2003 with my then fiance, and to this day have never heard from him. In 2004 we married. My ex's mother still lives in the same town as do my family occasionally they will run into each other. It has always been told to us, my family, that they have no idea where my ex is. My husband has been my son's father for most of his life. We are now trying to so a step-parent adoption on our own, as we can not afford an attorney. I got all the papers from one of the sites that promise all the paperwork for a flat fee. Although I have the paperwork, I am still at loss as to what to do next. I know I need to file it with the courts, I guess I would just like to know a kind of step by step proceeding from here.

:confused: Thanks for any help

I'm truly sorry, but in your situation you really NEED to either hire an attorney (which is best), or at least get a consult with one.

Even the easiest step parent adoptions really shouldn't be a DIY project. There are ALOT of laws and rules of court that are hard to understand, and just one minor mistake can cause HUGE problems later on.

One of your problems will be jurisdiction. Your divorce was in CA, so you will most likely need to file to move the jurisdiction to MO. However, because your ex MIGHT still live in CA, you could run into jurisdiction problems.

Since you do not know where your ex is, to have him legally served, you will need to notify by publication, which can only be done after you have made a "diligent search" to try to locate him. Service at last known address will not suffice for a TPR and step parent adoption.

Start by getting a consult with an adoption attorney. Make a list of the questions you want to ask, such as jurisdiction, what is required to prove diligent search, etc.

Has ex paid any CS at all? If not, it will be easier for you to have the court terminate rights based on abandonment. Be sure to ask the attorney you consult with about TPR for abandonment.