Ok went to Friend of the Court meeting on March 12, 2008. The FOC evaluator and I had asked my X if our son was baptized. Both families are religious and it is very important to both families that he get baptized. He was born in November 2007. She had said no and said she would contact me if he was going to be. Well found out today that he was! February 10, 2008. So I know that I can't get him baptized again but is there anything I can do with the courts?

Ok went to Friend of the Court meeting on March 12, 2008. The FOC evaluator and I had asked my X if our son was baptized. Both families are religious and it is very important to both families that he get baptized. He was born in November 2007. She had said no and said she would contact me if he was going to be. Well found out today that he was! February 10, 2008. So I know that I can't get him baptized again but is there anything I can do with the courts?

While baptism is important, this is not an issue that needs to be addressed in court. Looking at it from the Christian side of things- he was baptized and that's what matters. If you don't really believe that he was, you can always take him to your church and have another baptism. I'm sure that God understands these type of situations, and it's not a sin to be baptised twice.

There are going to be many important issues that you and ex will disagree on, so don't let the small ones get to you.

While baptism is important, this is not an issue that needs to be addressed in court. Looking at it from the Christian side of things- he was baptized and that's what matters. If you don't really believe that he was, you can always take him to your church and have another baptism. I'm sure that God understands these type of situations, and it's not a sin to be baptised twice.

There are going to be many important issues that you and ex will disagree on, so don't let the small ones get to you.

I was just looking at the fact that she had lied to FOC. I had spoke with her church and they had said you can not baptize a child twice. Not sure why but this is what I have been told. Maybe it is just their (that particular church) rules. But I will be doing more checking on that. I would of thought that lying to the Friend of the Court was as if she lied to the court.

Depends on the church. I have personally been baptized 3 times. Once as a Catholic, once Baptist and once in another denomination.

Perhaps the church can do come kind of additional service to Commit the child to God or something similar?

I think the point is that to some Catholics, (for example) Baptism is a extremely important step that is critical to familial harmony. Their presence at this sacrament is looked upon like being present at the child's birth. If my (Sicilian Catholic) mother was shut out of the baptism of one of her grandkids, she would have called a vendetta against the offending party. :cool:

The point is one where the mother deliberately lied in a legal situation on an issue that is extremely important to the OP and his family. The only thing that can be done is to document it. Just remember that the child comes first.

The point is one where the mother deliberately lied in a legal situation on an issue that is extremely important to the OP and his family. The only thing that can be done is to document it. Just remember that the child comes first.

I agree that the OP should document the problem. Lying to the court or in any legal situation is never good, but, if the OP were to try to take this 1 issue to court, it's likely that a Judge would not take it too well. Sadly, we all know that parties to a legal case can lie and unless it is a MAJOR lie, the court will do nothing.

OP, document the situation and if the opportunity comes up in court, you can always mention the problem, but don't try to take this issue to court on it's own.

Ok it may not be a major lie to the court....but it does show how much she has manipulated. She knew how much this part of our sons life means to my family and she did this. So what you all are saying is there is nothing I can do about her basically "perjuring" herself to the courts? I was told that I needed to go into this meeting and be completely honest....but yet she can lie?! And get away with it! No wonder there are so many deadbeat fathers out there! They are tired of getting shafted!!!

Ok it may not be a major lie to the court....but it does show how much she has manipulated. She knew how much this part of our sons life means to my family and she did this. So what you all are saying is there is nothing I can do about her basically "perjuring" herself to the courts? I was told that I needed to go into this meeting and be completely honest....but yet she can lie?! And get away with it! No wonder there are so many deadbeat fathers out there! They are tired of getting shafted!!!


HOLD ON THERE!

The money you will be paying will be to help support your kids, not her.

Document this. Explain how important this was to you and your family. It will be used against her. Just do not make it the central part of your case.

At this point in your childs life, his world is being split apart. Mommy and daddy are fighting. Daddy does not live here any more. You be the adult and be there for your child. You will be this childs father for life.

Either get back together with her, or move on and live your life with the understanding that you have a child. Being a father is the greatest thing in the world. With or without the mother.

We were never together after our son was born. I do know my support will be supporting the child but who was even talking about support? I was speaking about being shafted as in parenting time and her manipulating the system to get exactly what she wants. My X had told me I would be there for the birth, I wasn't (found out 4 days later thru a friend); the baptism (even told the court) and anything in between. I have financially supported and emotionally supported her.

We were never together after our son was born. I do know my support will be supporting the child but who was even talking about support? I was speaking about being shafted as in parenting time and her manipulating the system to get exactly what she wants. My X had told me I would be there for the birth, I wasn't (found out 4 days later thru a friend); the baptism (even told the court) and anything in between. I have financially supported and emotionally supported her.


You used the word "deadbeat" which is equated to non support paying parents.

How about some background.

Were you married? How long? One child? How old are both of you?

Would you be willing to go for full custody?

Document everything. Get a good lawyer.

Reality is that sometimes people go "wacky" when they have a child. (Post partum depression) Some never return to how they were before. People change, Breaking up hurts. My advice is to be fair, be firm, document everything, and the judge will evaluate it. Once you go to court and present all the evidence, It will take a while for the decision to come down.

For Gods sake, try to make this as painless as possible.

Was it in the order that she must tell you that the child would be baptized? I know what you say she said. Now, was it in the order?

If not, you've got nothing to take to court.

Write it down in your little notebook. It will be one more bit of evidence to present to court if you are planning on building a case against her for lack of co-operation and/or attempts at alienation.

Now, on to the immediate matter. You say her church said a child cannot be baptized 2X. What does YOUR church say?

I know that my husband HAD to be baptized again to become a member at our church. (I didn't because I was already baptized in the Baptist church.) He is/was Episcopalian and the Baptist didn't consider his baptism to be good enough until he was dunked in the Baptist dunk tank. :D

You used the word "deadbeat" which is equated to non support paying parents.

How about some background.

Were you married? How long? One child? How old are both of you?

Would you be willing to go for full custody?

Document everything. Get a good lawyer.

Reality is that sometimes people go "wacky" when they have a child. (Post partum depression) Some never return to how they were before. People change, Breaking up hurts. My advice is to be fair, be firm, document everything, and the judge will evaluate it. Once you go to court and present all the evidence, It will take a while for the decision to come down.

For Gods sake, try to make this as painless as possible.

When I was speaking of deadbeat dads I was referring to those who don't want to be involved in their child's life. We were never married. One child. I am 25 and she is 22. I am fair (so much I have ended up giving into her I lose). I do document everything but it didn't seem to help in court. I tried for shared 50/50 custody but that didn't work. Just got standing EOW and certain holidays. (standard for Michigan). The child's mother has some serious issues since our son was born and I am now in the middle of getting medical records to show the court. Our son was in the hospital and is 7 mo old and is only the size of a 4 mo. He was very dehydrated. He weighs 15.8 pounds and the doctor is very concerned. We have to see him every 2 weeks. My X didn't want to start feeding him food when the doctor said. She has made comments to me in regards to not wanting him to get big. She just made a comment to me on Friday that she didn't want him to start crawling because she didn't want to chase him after working 8 hours a day 40 hours a week. I have a call into the doctor. She herself has lost so much weight she is 5'7" and only weighs 100 lbs. I am in fear for my son. She seems to just be concerned about the money. She lives with her parents and I live on my own. Since our son is only 7 mo old the FOC recommended that I did not get long weekend overnights until he was 9 mo but she was willing to start those right away as long as I agree to not make a fuss over the money. She works full time and I am only working part time. I have a temp. disability that prevents me from doing my job which requires some heavy lifting. I will be most likely back to work full time by the new year. So you can see where my frustration comes from.