My fiancee and I are in a rough spot right now. He is past due on his child support. He got a notice in the mail saying that his driver's license will be suspended if he does not pay, and then a warrant will go out for his arrest.

However, there is a little bit more of a problem. He has mental difficulties. He has been diagnosed as a chronic depressive and also has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He also has an anxiety disorder. He can not stay in one building for too long because his anxiety rises and he starts feeling claustrophobic.

He actually has to pay for two children from previous relationships. The first child is maximum pay because the mother went to the actual state's office and filed for child support, and my fiancee never got a notice in the mail, but he was ordered to pay $300 each month. That was six years ago, and she has not contacted him about his daughter at all.

The second mother is only $50 a month. That doesn't really bother me because she actually talks to him and lets him know how his son is doing. However, the one thing that does bother me is that she went out of state with my fiancee's son without letting him know it, and she got no approval from him at all.

So, my fiancee is about $20,000 behind, and is risking going to jail. I want to avoid that as much as possible, so is there any way that we can get the amount lowered, and get the child support stopped? We have toyed with the idea of giving up his paternal rights, but we have not came to a decision.

Any help?

My fiancee and I are in a rough spot right now. He is past due on his child support. He got a notice in the mail saying that his driver's license will be suspended if he does not pay, and then a warrant will go out for his arrest.

However, there is a little bit more of a problem. He has mental difficulties. He has been diagnosed as a chronic depressive and also has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He also has an anxiety disorder. He can not stay in one building for too long because his anxiety rises and he starts feeling claustrophobic.

He actually has to pay for two children from previous relationships. The first child is maximum pay because the mother went to the actual state's office and filed for child support, and my fiancee never got a notice in the mail, but he was ordered to pay $300 each month. That was six years ago, and she has not contacted him about his daughter at all.

The second mother is only $50 a month. That doesn't really bother me because she actually talks to him and lets him know how his son is doing. However, the one thing that does bother me is that she went out of state with my fiancee's son without letting him know it, and she got no approval from him at all.

So, my fiancee is about $20,000 behind, and is risking going to jail. I want to avoid that as much as possible, so is there any way that we can get the amount lowered, and get the child support stopped? We have toyed with the idea of giving up his paternal rights, but we have not came to a decision.

Any help?

Here is the thing... if he was a month behind, you would have all kinds of room to work.

However, assuming he pays 350 a month, that means that he is FIVE YEARS behind in his child support.

He needs an attorney, and will probably still lose.

First, don't make his problems your problems. I don't care how much you love each other, this truly is HIS problem. I can say this because I was in the near identical situation and I allowed his problems to become my own. I paid to reinstate his license. I paid his child support FOR YEARS. I paid for his attorneys. I paid his bails. I ended up in the hole, worrying about how I was going to pay my own bills and provide for my own children, without the promised re-compensation, all the while watching him quit job after job, running around with his friends while I stayed home with our son. I ended up hating him for it.

He has depression and bipolar disorder. Don't play into that. Both of these issues are treatable. Again, these are not your problems. He can get/stay on his meds and get an outside job all on his own. Landscaping and delivery jobs are everywhere and he wouldn't be stuck in an office. This sounds like an excuse I've heard a million times.

All in all, for at least five of the last six years, your fiance has shirked his responsibilities as a father. If the mother left the state, please don't fall for the "poor pitiful me" routine he's giving you. She likely had reasons and he likely didn't try too hard to stop her. It's his job to keep track of his children. It isn't the mother's job to try to get him to be an involved father. It's not yours either. If he really wanted relationships with his kids, they would already have it or he would have been in and out of court for the last six years protecting his right to see his children and doing everything in his power to make sure those rights are honored, not "toying" with the idea of giving up his rights.

Take a good look at this guy before you go any further here or you might find yourself just another baby's mama not getting any support.

My fiancee and I are in a rough spot right now. He is past due on his child support. He got a notice in the mail saying that his driver's license will be suspended if he does not pay, and then a warrant will go out for his arrest.

However, there is a little bit more of a problem. He has mental difficulties. He has been diagnosed as a chronic depressive and also has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He also has an anxiety disorder. He can not stay in one building for too long because his anxiety rises and he starts feeling claustrophobic.

He actually has to pay for two children from previous relationships. The first child is maximum pay because the mother went to the actual state's office and filed for child support, and my fiancee never got a notice in the mail, but he was ordered to pay $300 each month. That was six years ago, and she has not contacted him about his daughter at all.

The second mother is only $50 a month. That doesn't really bother me because she actually talks to him and lets him know how his son is doing. However, the one thing that does bother me is that she went out of state with my fiancee's son without letting him know it, and she got no approval from him at all.

So, my fiancee is about $20,000 behind, and is risking going to jail. I want to avoid that as much as possible, so is there any way that we can get the amount lowered, and get the child support stopped? We have toyed with the idea of giving up his paternal rights, but we have not came to a decision.

Any help?

He should contact the CSE and make arrangements to pay something up front and an agreement to pay current support and something toward the arrears. The CSE's main function is to collect CS for the kids, not to put NCP's in jail. So, if he will pay something now, work with them and continue paying, he probably won't go to jail.

Is he on SSI, or SSDI?
If not, is he capable of working?