My daughter has a situation and we aren't sure what to do. She had a baby a few months ago, the boyfriend left her before the baby was born, although he was trying to be a part of the babies life, he did attend a few doctor appointments with my daughter, he was also at the birth, he did come by just a couple times to see the baby. He signed the Acknowlegement of Paternity, he's military and he made sure the baby got an ID card. There was a mediation where they agreed on child support, custody, and visitation. My daughter has physical custody and is recieving child support through an involuntary allotment from the military pay. About a month before the baby was born the father married someone else, durning the time my daughter was in the hospital after the birth, the fathers new wife took a whole bunch of pills saying she wanted to kill herself because he was spending too much time with my daughter and the new baby. Now the father hasn't been around for his scheduled visits or doesn't even call to see how the baby is, in about 3 months. Out of the blue he calls my daughter and tells her he is going to a lawyer to see about relinguishing his parental rights because he doesn't want to have to pay child support. My daughter never has stopped him from seeing the baby and she wanted to work things out so the father would be a part of his childs life. Can he really relinguish his rights and stop paying child support now? Thanks a very loving and caring grandmother would like some advice.

No, he cant.

First of all - Mom would have to agree....... Dad can't just sign over his rights and stop paying - he made the baby, he has to provide for it... and without Mom's consent, it isn't going to happen.

Secondly, as you will read in many other similar posts on this forum, even if Mom did agree to it, he would have a hard time finding a judge to agree to it unless there was an established step-dad in place, ready to adopt.

Tell your daughter to relax, he can't get out of it........ and you can rest assured the military will continue to take out that allotment also... In my experience they do not play around when it comes to child support - she will get the $.

As for him not wanting to be a part of the childs life........... often with young men who bounce from one woman to another.... this will change with time. It's sad that the child will have to be the one to lose out... But, in time he will probably change his mind again.

God Bless!
Amy

Just to add to the above...

Just as it would be a violation of court order for him to refuse to pay, it is a violation of court order for her to refuse visitation.

He is not paying child support to gain access to his child... these are separate court orders that have no bearing on each other.

Tell your daughter to never deny him visitation again... but log when he doesn't show up.

As my 1st posting said my daughter has never ever denied the father from seeing his child. He chooses not to, he never calls, emails, nothing to even inquire how the baby is doing. When he came to the 1st scheduled visit, he was there for about 2 minutes, and got pissed off that grandma was there too and walked out slamming the door, and left in a big huff. Never has returned again.
He has now seen a lawyer, which my daughter has talked to. This lawyer wants her to tell the judge when they go to court that she has a man ready to step in, marry her and adopt the child. This is not true at all and my daughter is not going to lie to the judge.
Apparently the father is too busy with his new wife and her family to even care about his child, and his child is hurting his pocket book a little too much.

As my 1st posting said my daughter has never ever denied the father from seeing his child. He chooses not to, he never calls, emails, nothing to even inquire how the baby is doing. When he came to the 1st scheduled visit, he was there for about 2 minutes, and got pissed off that grandma was there too and walked out slamming the door, and left in a big huff. Never has returned again.
He has now seen a lawyer, which my daughter has talked to. This lawyer wants her to tell the judge when they go to court that she has a man ready to step in, marry her and adopt the child. This is not true at all and my daughter is not going to lie to the judge.
Apparently the father is too busy with his new wife and her family to even care about his child, and his child is hurting his pocket book a little too much.

Your daughter has nothing to worry about. Even if she were remarried and her husband wanted to adopt the child, without HER consent, it wouldn't be an option.

The atty is a moron and I would certainly not hesitate in bringing it to the judge's attention that the atty told her to lie so that his client could get out of his legal and moral obligation to support his child.

As my 1st posting said my daughter has never ever denied the father from seeing his child. He chooses not to, he never calls, emails, nothing to even inquire how the baby is doing. When he came to the 1st scheduled visit, he was there for about 2 minutes, and got pissed off that grandma was there too and walked out slamming the door, and left in a big huff. Never has returned again.
He has now seen a lawyer, which my daughter has talked to. This lawyer wants her to tell the judge when they go to court that she has a man ready to step in, marry her and adopt the child. This is not true at all and my daughter is not going to lie to the judge.
Apparently the father is too busy with his new wife and her family to even care about his child, and his child is hurting his pocket book a little too much.

Are you telling me that an attorney told her to lie in open court?

That is enough to get the attorney disbarred. Make sure your daughter makes mention of it to the person in the black robe.