I've been gathering info for 18 mos or so hoping he'd get to this point... he has! He's throwing me in the briar patch... and I'm pleased. I have kept good notes, now I'm feeling rushed to get everything in order for court next week.

In considering my counter motions I have some questions...

If the parents (or one parent) have proven that communicating in the best interest of the kids is not something that can happen (with documented proof of blatant unwillingness)... is sole legal custody a reasonable request?

I am not wanting to remove the kids' father from their lives. I do believe they need both parents. However, everything being an argument is not benefiting anyone. He argues just to argue and OFTEN puts the kids' feelings and best interest at risk in an effort to prove a point to me (and has actually admitted to that in an email). Having sole legal custody... so the opportunity to argue is reduced, seems sensible to me. Does anyone have experience with this? Will the judge laugh me out of the courtroom?

While he has me in court, (over summer visitation) I want to address child support issues as well. Some of my previous posts on this haven't gotten the feedback I had hoped. With court next week, I'd really like some help...

CS is based on his minimum yearly income... this was done so his additional income (that he earns out of town on weekends) wouldn't be included in the equation. I did this originally so he would be less "in need" of that money and could better utilize his weekend visits. The kids need that structure. And need to be able to count on him. He hasn't followed through on this. He hasn't followed the judge's orders to make efforts not to cancel or rearrange last minute... and certainly hasn't followed the judges orders to get along and play nicely.

He has since purchased high dollar autos, taken exotic vacations, etc... all while continuing to cancel weekends with the kids...AND refuses to pay for (even a portion) our kids' summer camp.

What information does anyone have for finding REAL income of self employed? Imputed income? spending habits? just wonder the best way to get this figured out. As it is now, the kids suffer both ways... the suffer by not having time with him... and by not benefiting from the additional income he's making while not with them.

I appreciate, in advance, all help you can offer. I plan to spend this weekend getting my stuff in order. I would like to show on a calendar different instances he's made over the 18 mos to alienate me, put kids in the middle, belittle me, badmouth me in front of kids, etc. Any suggestions on the best way to present that?

The only way I know to get the rest of his info on how much he makes (self employment jobs, etc) is to subpeona his tax records from last year....

Hope that helps.
God Bless!
Amy

I've been gathering info for 18 mos or so hoping he'd get to this point... he has! He's throwing me in the briar patch... and I'm pleased. I have kept good notes, now I'm feeling rushed to get everything in order for court next week.

In considering my counter motions I have some questions...

If the parents (or one parent) have proven that communicating in the best interest of the kids is not something that can happen (with documented proof of blatant unwillingness)... is sole legal custody a reasonable request?

I am not wanting to remove the kids' father from their lives. I do believe they need both parents. However, everything being an argument is not benefiting anyone. He argues just to argue and OFTEN puts the kids' feelings and best interest at risk in an effort to prove a point to me (and has actually admitted to that in an email). Having sole legal custody... so the opportunity to argue is reduced, seems sensible to me. Does anyone have experience with this? Will the judge laugh me out of the courtroom?

While he has me in court, (over summer visitation) I want to address child support issues as well. Some of my previous posts on this haven't gotten the feedback I had hoped. With court next week, I'd really like some help...

CS is based on his minimum yearly income... this was done so his additional income (that he earns out of town on weekends) wouldn't be included in the equation. I did this originally so he would be less "in need" of that money and could better utilize his weekend visits. The kids need that structure. And need to be able to count on him. He hasn't followed through on this. He hasn't followed the judge's orders to make efforts not to cancel or rearrange last minute... and certainly hasn't followed the judges orders to get along and play nicely.

He has since purchased high dollar autos, taken exotic vacations, etc... all while continuing to cancel weekends with the kids...AND refuses to pay for (even a portion) our kids' summer camp.

What information does anyone have for finding REAL income of self employed? Imputed income? spending habits? just wonder the best way to get this figured out. As it is now, the kids suffer both ways... the suffer by not having time with him... and by not benefiting from the additional income he's making while not with them.

I appreciate, in advance, all help you can offer. I plan to spend this weekend getting my stuff in order. I would like to show on a calendar different instances he's made over the 18 mos to alienate me, put kids in the middle, belittle me, badmouth me in front of kids, etc. Any suggestions on the best way to present that?

As long as you can prove everything, your requests seem very reasonable.

I think that I remember that you have logged all of the missed vists, etc. Be sure to take all of that to court with you. You might want to add to your motions that you request that the order contain a provision that both parents are prohibited from speaking badly about the other parent to, or in front of the children.

Proving self-employment income is tricky. In addition to subpoening tax returns, you can bring proof of his excess spending, such as the autos and vacations. However, you'll have to be able to prove that those things were NOT legitimate business expenses (which is what he'll undoubtedly try to claim). The idea is to put enough doubt in the Judge's mind so that you can request a reasonable imputation of income. You should also request that the CS be based soley on the guidelines, with no deviation since he isn't utilizing the visits as he was supposed to.