I'm not sure if this is the place to ask but I have a question regarding custody issues with my stepson.

A little background: My husband and his X have a 9 year old son together. They were never married and stopped living together when my stepson was 18 months old. They went to a lawer in the family and drew up paperwork to present to the judge. The order stated the mother was awarded physical custody, both parents had joint custody. The mother was responsible for continuing the health coverage and father was responsible for half of all other expenses and the recommended amount for child support. Both parties could claim every other year for tax purposes. Both parties must remain IN the state of RI unless given the 'go ahead' legally by the other party to move.

OK, so what they were doing for custody was we would have son 3 over nights and X would have him 4 over nights. My husband paid his childsupport plus an extra 20 every week and much more than that. Also paid half of EVERY expense and ALL of day care expenses (even though he was not required to.) This all worked fine since we all lived in the same town and my son could easily attend his school from each of our homes.

Last year, X decided she wanted to move in with boyfriend #6 in 5 years but he lived in MA so she took us to court to get allowance to move. Judge said she was crazy, too many moves already (13 in 5 years) and too many different guys to allow my son to move out of state with this new one. So she verbally gave us custody so she could move. (I still can't believe this.)
But now she got kicked out (as we expected) and she moved back to the original home town and wants full custody back.

My question is what leverage do we have for keeping my stepson under our custody? It was never brought to court, to have custody signed over, so I know technically we do NOT have appointed custody, but it has been over a year and half that he has verbally been in our custody. He has been attending school in OUR area of town now, had to switch districts, and been at our home for 4 or more nights for the past 18 months. What are your recommendations? We already spent $6,500 to keep her from moving and are still paying those lawyer fees off. We don't care about getting CS from her, although we would like to claim stepson every year instead of every other year. Our current lawyer will help us on this case, but I'd hate to accrue another debt if we can do this ourselves.

Sorry this was so long. I wanted to be as thorough as possible!

If you do it yourself, one mistake and she has the boy.

You claim abandonment of the child. The judge told her not to leave the state. It sounds like she is a good mother with the exception of being a bum magnet. (Your husband being the exception)

I would pay the lawyer. To get full custody of my children, I had to build a full tile bathroom, a fireplace, and a 800 sq ft office. (About $18,000 value.) It was worth every second of labor.

What is the child worth you you guys? :confused:

While you are there, ask for tax credit and CS.

But is it still considered abandonment if she still saw him for at least 1 day a week while she was living in MA?
And of course our child is priceless, we would spend any/all money to keep him with us. But coming up with the allotted 2,500 retainer is tough w/only one working parent. (I have a 1 yo that would need full time daycare, plus we pay ALL expenses for the 9 yo, she no longer helps and I would also have to have before/after school care for him)

Tough call.

I am not familliar with the courts in RI.

In MO, you can go through Social Services to help with custodial and CS issues. That is why it cost me so much. My X used the system to pay for her divorce and custody battle. :mad:

Perhaps one of the other "mom's" on the board has a different perspective. There are several CP's on this board that will reply by the begaining of next week. With the holiday, some are on vacation.

What ever happens, please understand that your husband (as the parent) is the one that MUST be the representitive. It is fine for you to gather the information, but you have no standing in court. You are not biologically related. That is the way the law works. Please do not take this wrong.

He can file for back support and payments. Be ready for a nasty battle unless you can come to a peacefull settlement for the sake of the child.

I wish I had a clear cut answer.