Hey everyone, I had a couple questions Ive been needing to ask. My husbands court order with his ex (he has custody) says that the mother gets child 2 nights per week and EOW until the child starts school. Thats all it says on that. Well during the past 2 months she was a no show every single Tuesday for 5 weeks straight. Her parents would pick her up for the Thursday visit so they could visit with her. The mother wasnt visiting those days, cause she was living in another state with her new boyfriend. This left us (my husband works nights so I would be the one waiting) waiting between 4-6 pm for someone to show up, putting a damper on my life, for them just to be a no show. So what my husband did is, told the mother (cause now she is back in town and wanting to be a "mother" again), that she can have her one day a week, so we can get her going on a schedule for school. Well she is stating that the court order means until Kindergarden, not Pre-K. So which is it, if it doesnt specify? Whos right?

Not that this matters, but she dont pay child support either. She was only ordered to pay $200/month and she has only paid $250.00 total since it was ordered on 8/1/07. CSE is pursuing but slowly of course.

She was threatening to take him to court, but she doesnt work, hasent paid child support, is in contempt for 2 other things that the judge ordered her to do and she still hasent done them.

Do you think if he took her to court over contempt of court for those 2 things, that the judge would look down on him for taking one day away that 70 % of this whole time they have not gotten her. He has never denied her visitation before. He is doing this for the better interests of his daughter cause when they dont show up she gets upset. Plus for those who already know my story, you know what kind of mother she is. The mother dont have a car or license anyways so thats another reason she doesnt get her all the time. she has to find rides and sometimes calls saying she cant get her cause she cant find one.

Is pre-K whole days, 5 days a week?

Do not, EVER, change the rules of custody outside of a courtroom.

Every time you do not show up for custody handoff, you are in contempt of court. Every time. No matter what she has done. No matter what she has paid or not paid.

One parent cannot change the rules without the written consent of the other parent OR the written consent of the court. Period.

Log every absence and the child's response to that absence.

Then take mom to court for it.... Every time he refuses visitation before court he weakens his case.

Michelle, what does it say about visitation after the child begins school?

Is this pre-k the headstart program or is it something that your husband decided the child needed to prepare for kindergarten? It makes a difference.

Is pre-K whole days, 5 days a week?

It is 5 days a week, but I dont believe whole days... Okay so what you guys think I should do is tell my husband to tell the mother she can continue to have her 2 days a week. If she still dont get her both days he should file for a change in visitation? I guess hes wanting to put her in school to get her ready for Kindergarden.

Just to clarify my husband is not doing anything other than what the court order says because of her lack of child support. He knows very clearly that he cant do that. Trust me she has never followed anything on the court order. EVER!!!

She lies about taking her to the doctor. She lied the other day about her stopping breathing in her sleep. She thrives off drama and attention.

Now if he decides to take her to court, will he have to pay like a filing fee or something?

Mommyof4, all the court order says is... 2 days per week until the child starts school, and if parents cant agree it will be Tuesday and Thursday.

Thanks for the responses I will inform my husband on your thoughts, thanks

Okay, yes...I woulld not personally condsider this Pre-K to be 'school', so the visitation should continue as ordered.

I did have another question, though. Does it say what TIMES on those two days visitation should occur? Or does it just give a set amount of time? Can the child go to the pre-k in the morning and then go to Mom's for the afternoon?

Dad needs to get busy and file to modify the order to address visitation for AFTER the child begins to attend school. Get it done now so he is not having to do it at the last minute.

What I was told by the judge who handled my custody case with my daughter was that because Pre-K is not mandatory, they did not consider that to be after the child has started school. It did make a difference, however, once kindergarten started. Again I would agree with the other two and not change anything specified in that court order until you go before a judge. Document everything, like cyjeff said, because that will be your best defense in court. When you can state specific dates and times that things are taking place it will place the burden of proof onto the mother as to why she's choosing not to take her visitation or pay her child support. Good luck with your case...child custody is a frustrating ordeal.