My 17 year old brother currently lives with my mother [whom is the custodial parent]. He will be graduating high school in 2 months and is trying to leave the house to come live with me here in Austin after graduation. My mother agreed that he could, she even co-signed for him, and then changed her mind; she has told him that he will need to get our paternal father to co-sign for him. She did not sign for his college applications, therefore he is unable to attend college in the fall. She also informed him that he would not be getting a graduation party, nor attending his prom all because he spoke to our paternal father on his 17th birthday (which by the way, she claims was his birthday gift so she didn't have to buy him anything). No matter how right either me or my brother are, she argues with us...Even as a visitor, I was thrown out of my house 3 times after I had already moved out and gone off to college just because I have an opinion (in her eyes we aren't allowed to have opinions and it is her way or the highway...)

I am currently 21 and will be 22 when my brother is supposed to be moving into the 4th bedroom of my apartment; my father is still paying arrears for child support and will continue to do so for another 6 years. I am six courses away from obtaining my Bachelor's degree and my mother has refused to assist me even though she has borrowed $3000 from me and has yet to pay me back.

I spoke with my paternal father today and he has said that he would co-sign for my brother and help me pay for my last semester in college, but there are stipulations to his assistance. My father currently has to pay child support until my brother graduates as per the divorce decree, at which point, he will only be paying arrears.

I have 3 questions!!
My first question is this: If my father chooses to pay my last semester of college, could he use that to his advantage (basically, can he get that amount knocked off the balance he owes my mother?)
My second question is this: If my father, who is the non-custodial parent, cosigns for my brother to live with me, can my mother still keep my brother from coming to live with me?
My third question is this: If we need to get my brother emancipated from my mother, and we do so, the child support arrears balance that is owed to my mother...where does that go? Can my father pay for my brother's living expenses instead of paying my mother, or does she ABSOLUTELY, regardless of situation, get that money. (Which she doesn't really use to support either of her children).

Basically I want to know if there is any way the child support can be used to help my father's children [me and my brother] instead of going directly into my mother's pocket...which ends up being used to take herself and her husband out to eat or to the bar.

Thanks for your response!

I have 3 questions!!
My first question is this: If my father chooses to pay my last semester of college, could he use that to his advantage (basically, can he get that amount knocked off the balance he owes my mother?)

No...any arrears or support he owes must be paid to the child support agency. Your father doesn't get to choose who he gives that money to, it goes to your mother.

My second question is this: If my father, who is the non-custodial parent, cosigns for my brother to live with me, can my mother still keep my brother from coming to live with me?

Yes, she can. As the custodial parent, she has responsibility for him and therefore the control over where he lives until he reaches emancipation. That's what "custodial" means in this context.

My third question is this: If we need to get my brother emancipated from my mother, and we do so, the child support arrears balance that is owed to my mother...where does that go? Can my father pay for my brother's living expenses instead of paying my mother, or does she ABSOLUTELY, regardless of situation, get that money. (Which she doesn't really use to support either of her children).

Again, the child support owed your mother will go to your mother, period. How she uses the child support is frankly none of your business...it doesn't always go directly to the child in an obvious way. You do realize she has to pay bills for the house your brother lives in, don't you? Your father has an obligation to reimburse her for a portion of that.

You have presented nothing here that would suggest emancipation is an option for your brother. Disagreement with her rules or opinions is not a legal basis for emancipation.

I'm sure this isn't the answer you were hoping for, but it is the correct legal one.

Thanks for your reply.

I need to clarify a bit on why my brother is seeking emancipation. I failed to mention that my mother is deeply depressed, alcoholic, mentally/emotionally abusive, and if she would get tested, I'm sure, postpartum psychotic. I have moved away from home to attend college as the first in my entire family, not because I necessarily wanted to, but because I needed to escape the things my brother is now experiencing. How would I go about helping my brother become emancipated if the necessary circumstances were met? Where would I need to go/What would I need to do?

Again, Thanks for your response!

You would have to contact a family law attorney to file for emancipation...this is not a do-it-yourselfer.

Chances are very good that by the time the issue went to court, he will be 18 anyway. My best advice to your brother is to wait it out. If he has to wait another year to go to college, he can get a job and save some money (always a good idea).

Thanks for your reply.

I need to clarify a bit on why my brother is seeking emancipation. I failed to mention that my mother is deeply depressed, alcoholic, mentally/emotionally abusive, and if she would get tested, I'm sure, postpartum psychotic. I have moved away from home to attend college as the first in my entire family, not because I necessarily wanted to, but because I needed to escape the things my brother is now experiencing. How would I go about helping my brother become emancipated if the necessary circumstances were met? Where would I need to go/What would I need to do?

Again, Thanks for your response!


If he got emancipated he wouldn't be able to come and live with you.

The best advice is for him to wait until he is 18. He can work in the meantime and save his money. But unfortunately, the money that is in arrears will go from your father to your mother. At 18, he should be able to go live where he wants, be that you or your father or on his own if he so chooses.