Young Professor
03-30-2008, 07:47 PM
My wife's ex has joint custody and visitation. He is remarried and has a 2 year old with his new wife. My wife's daughter (my step daughter) is now 10 and communicates extremely well and is very intelligent. There has been mental and verbal abuse by her father and stepmother for quite some time now. Things have gotten progressively worse....For a while, she saw a counselor in order to help her deal with what has been happening. However, the counselor moved to another state so the sessions stopped. We've been reluctant to try any court proceedings for fear that it could make things worse, and we don't want to put our daughter in the middle of things and force her to testify possibly.
Most of the abuse is the result of the stepmother, and has gotten worse...to the point where I think action needs to be taken now ....Beating animals, pushing down her own child in order to maker her cry, pulling hair and pinching this same child, slapping this child across the face, putting this child in extended time out for wearing the wrong clothes, spanking this child because it uses wrong words....And the child just turned 2! There was also an incident where the stepmother left her child (then 1) at home alone while she took our daughter to school.
Our daughter spends extended periods of time in her room while her father is on the computer. Recently, she went to tell him good night, and she was exposed to very graphic pornography, including oral sex.
Our daughter has complained to her father about what has gone on, and thus far, the father has taken is wife's side and accuses her of lying or embellishment. For example, when she told her father about the time she left the daughter home alone, he accused her of lying and punished her. Because she has complained to her father about what has gone on and because my wife has spoke to him about issues many times over, we feel that now, the stepmother is taunting and mentally abusing our daughter.....Most often when either the father isn't around or in another room. For example, during a recent trip to Target, the stepmother pulled the 2 yr old's hair to make her cry (while the father was in another isle) and then blamed our daughter. When our daughter said the opposite, she was accused of lying. I could go on and on with like stories.......
Any suggestions on how to legally get either joint custody changed, or some type of intervention? A friend of ours said that social service won't do anything unless it's physical abuse and marks are found on a child. Not sure if this is accurate or not.
Needless to say, we are very concerned about what's happening, as well as our daughter's mental and and social development. I fear that she could be forever scared by some of these actions. We'd love to have custody changed and/or visitation radically amended, but we're concerned that our 10 yr old may have to testify against her father. However, we also know that this can't continue. She has recently threatened to run away while at his home and even went as far as to point out a spot where we could find her if she were missing. We've documented everything that has happened via e-mail, but of course, either he doesn't respond, flat out denies it, or says our daughter is lying.
Any suggestions?? Please help.
YP
Most of the abuse is the result of the stepmother, and has gotten worse...to the point where I think action needs to be taken now ....Beating animals, pushing down her own child in order to maker her cry, pulling hair and pinching this same child, slapping this child across the face, putting this child in extended time out for wearing the wrong clothes, spanking this child because it uses wrong words....And the child just turned 2! There was also an incident where the stepmother left her child (then 1) at home alone while she took our daughter to school.
Our daughter spends extended periods of time in her room while her father is on the computer. Recently, she went to tell him good night, and she was exposed to very graphic pornography, including oral sex.
Our daughter has complained to her father about what has gone on, and thus far, the father has taken is wife's side and accuses her of lying or embellishment. For example, when she told her father about the time she left the daughter home alone, he accused her of lying and punished her. Because she has complained to her father about what has gone on and because my wife has spoke to him about issues many times over, we feel that now, the stepmother is taunting and mentally abusing our daughter.....Most often when either the father isn't around or in another room. For example, during a recent trip to Target, the stepmother pulled the 2 yr old's hair to make her cry (while the father was in another isle) and then blamed our daughter. When our daughter said the opposite, she was accused of lying. I could go on and on with like stories.......
Any suggestions on how to legally get either joint custody changed, or some type of intervention? A friend of ours said that social service won't do anything unless it's physical abuse and marks are found on a child. Not sure if this is accurate or not.
Needless to say, we are very concerned about what's happening, as well as our daughter's mental and and social development. I fear that she could be forever scared by some of these actions. We'd love to have custody changed and/or visitation radically amended, but we're concerned that our 10 yr old may have to testify against her father. However, we also know that this can't continue. She has recently threatened to run away while at his home and even went as far as to point out a spot where we could find her if she were missing. We've documented everything that has happened via e-mail, but of course, either he doesn't respond, flat out denies it, or says our daughter is lying.
Any suggestions?? Please help.
YP
