Here is the deal, My fiancee found out a couple weeks ago that he may have a child in Reno, NV (we are in Arkansas). This girl has 3 children. The oldest is her husbands before they were married. The middle is supposedly my fiancee's. After this child was born she married the father of her oldest and had another child. She says they knew all along that the middle child was not his but just chose to ignore and avoid the situation. She filed for government assistance which required paternity tests on all three children. When the middle child came up as not her husband's, they asked about the bio father in which she stated that she did not know who it was b/c she does not want child support. She proceeds to tell me the paperwork states that the bio father is unknown and her husband is listed as the "supportive father." Her husband has also signed the birth certificate. She wants a paternity test only so she can prove to this child when she is older who her bio father is. She tells me that her husband does not have to adopt the child since he signed the birth certificate. Is this true? I would think that DNA would be much more legit than a signature. What I am afraid of, if she divorces, what happens if she comes back and proves we have known for years down the road that he is in fact the father,...can she try and get back child support?? We want her husband to adopt,... is there any way we can make it happen?? The child is supported by 2 parents and we don't want to confuse her or screw up her childhood by passing her back and forth. :( Please help!!

What exactly is your question?

I mean, we can't tell you what may happen in the future.

Sorry, I'm just so aggravated it must have gotten jumbled.

She does not want anything from us, and we do not want to interrupt the child's life. We would like for her husband to adopt the child but the mother says he does not have to b/c he signed the birth certificate. Is that true?

Also,...If her husband does not adopt the child and we do a paternity test that proves my fiancee is the father, if she ends up getting a divorce in the future, can she come back to my fiancee for back and current child support even if her husband signed the birth certificate?

One more,...Can my fiancee force giving up his rights to the child?

Thank you!

In order for the child to be adopted a paternity test will have to be done to prove who the father is. The the BC will be changed, Then Bio mom can file for a step parent adoption so her current husband can adopt if she chooses to.. Most of the time they must be married for one year and they probly will have a back ground check and a home strudy... There is alot involved when doing a step parent adoption... It could take up to a year to finalize... If she chooses to recieve child support it will back date from the day she filled for assistance....

Thank you for your reply,...

So from what I am understanding, it does not matter if her husband signed the birth certificate or not, he still has to legally adopt the child. Am I correct?

Can someone please help? I am unclear regarding previous answers. Thanks.

Does this woman's husband want to adopt? You said "we want her husband to adopt." You cannot make him take responsibility for a child that is not his. What does he want?

Did the husband know that the child was not his? The woman certainly did have an idea. Signing the bc knowing he is not the father is fraud.

Signing the bc alone does not make him the legal father.

That said, signing it is an acknowledgement of paternity, and there is a time limit for him to disestablish paternity. If it has passed, he cannot do it.

How old is the child?

I believe the husband would adopt, he is torn that this is not his child. He just wants to go on pretending nothing happened. She is saying he does not have to adopt since he signed the bc. That is where I was confused.

She knew all along and he knew there was a chance but he chose to "ignore" the facts b/c he wanted the child to be his.

There is a time limit for who? For the husband to remove his name from the bc or for my fiancee to add his name to it? What happens after this time frame? Who is responsible for the child?

The child is almost 3.

This couple clearly committed paternity fraud.

It would be in your bf's best interest to hire a lawyer. He should probably file to establish paternity of the child. If he is deemed the father, he can volunteer to terminate his rights if the husband wants to adopt. But if the husband does not want to adopt, then your bf owes it to the child to support her.

He did in fact have sex with this woman. Now is as good a time as any to step up, see if the child is his, and take responsibility by either allowing the husband to adopt or participating in the child's life.

That is fine, and my bf would not mind supporting the child if she were a single mother, although this is a family with 3 children, going on in their lives as if all three children were legally and biologically her husband's. There is no need for us to come into this child's life and confuse her. She calls this man daddy, he has been there from birth, changed diapers and kissed her boo boos. My bf feels he has no right to try and disrupt her life as he has already been in her husbands place. My bf has raised a child for 8 years that was not his and all of a sudden her real father decided to come in and force her to call him dad and has done nothing but torment her and confuse her.

The only thing I was worried about is if she happened to divorce years later,... if my bf would be responsible for child support even though her husband has been raising this child all along. My bf has not taken a DNA test yet,... I am wondering if he should go ahead and do it, or if we should just sit back and wait. The mother said he did not have to take it, it was only for her own "peace of mind".

That is fine, and my bf would not mind supporting the child if she were a single mother, although this is a family with 3 children, going on in their lives as if all three children were legally and biologically her husband's. There is no need for us to come into this child's life and confuse her. She calls this man daddy, he has been there from birth, changed diapers and kissed her boo boos. My bf feels he has no right to try and disrupt her life as he has already been in her husbands place. My bf has raised a child for 8 years that was not his and all of a sudden her real father decided to come in and force her to call him dad and has done nothing but torment her and confuse her.

The only thing I was worried about is if she happened to divorce years later,... if my bf would be responsible for child support even though her husband has been raising this child all along. My bf has not taken a DNA test yet,... I am wondering if he should go ahead and do it, or if we should just sit back and wait. The mother said he did not have to take it, it was only for her own "peace of mind".

No one can tell you what might happen in the future, but I suppose anything is possible. That's why he should go ahead and file for a determination of parentage. If the father wants to adopt, he can volunteer to terminate his rights.

It shouldn't matter that the child is being taken care of and in a family. If he helped make her, he needs to help support her, or he needs to legally relinquish his rights if the husband wishes to adopt.

Letting sleeping dogs lie is a bad idea.

Also, having her biological father in her life, along with her other Daddy, is not an instant recipe for an unhappy or somehow ruined child. Your bf already knows how NOT to go about it. But that doesn't mean that he cannot take an active and positive role in his child's life. Lots of children love their parents and step parents alike.

Thank you for your advice. It has helped. I believe we will be speaking with an attorney soon. I just don't trust this girl and believe she would do whatever she could to wreak havoc if she got bored, and it has already been determined she gets bored easily.

She says she doesn't want child support, and when they filed for day care assistance, she said she did not know who the biological father was so they would add her husband as the "supportive father".

That is why I was worried about doing a test, then if she got a divorce, she would have proof that we had known all this time and she would be able to receive BACK child support.

I wish there was some way to tell her we will only do a DNA test if her husband agrees to adopt. :) I don't see that legally happening tho. Not that we would NOT take responsiblity,...please understand that.

bump.......

Anymore advice??

I am not really sure what you are looking for here.

There's really nothing else to add. He needs to file to establish paternity. It's the only answer.