Well here goes,

My wife and I have been married for a little over five years now. In
highschool she had a small but very close group of friends.

One of these friends was male and she has continued to have a light
relationship with him. Mainly Xmas cards, cc'ing him on emails she sends
to people including me. She says they are just friends and that they are
very close. That I was willing to live with. After all, he lived in
Maryland, and we live on the west coast.

About a year ago he got divorced, and there started to be phone calls and
more email, and some postal mail. I noticed on the letters he was signing
them "Love you" etc... These were pretty frequent for a while then trailed
off.

While my wife and I were both out of town, I was the only one that had
access to email. She would regularly check my mail for me and I would do
the same. This time in particular I noticed an email from him that
included a comment "call me I have a question to ask you and I don't want
to do it over email." I asked her about this, and she confided in me that
he said that he was "In love" with her.

I told her how uncomfortable this made me feel. I also suggested that she
should maybe (not demaned in any way) re-evaluate the relashionship since
he was wanting more that to be just friends. We never really got to a
resolution on it. Then things seemd to return to where they were before.


This week my wife was visting her parents out of town (same coast). The
day before she left I got a silent caller with <male friends> caller ID.
I tried to get him to talk but the phone eventually hung up. I took the
phone to my wife and told her what happend and suggested she call him.
She said oh it was prolly nothing and set the phone down and went back to
doing what she was doing.

The other night did not recieve our regular evening phone call so I
called. When her Dad answered the phone I asked for my wife and he said
"Oh, she's not here she is out with <male friends name>...er..err.. <Old
girlfriends name>".

Needless to say this bothered me a little. So I called her cell phone.
She answered, (she was in a bar) I heard the old girlfriend in the back
ground and another man (unknown who). She told me where she was, I told
her what her Dad had said and she denied it. I chalked it up to just
picking her friends names.

I got my cell phone bill and as usual checked the charges. When my wife
left to get gas for the drive to her parents she called him. The day
after she got to her parents she called him. I checked her email after
that and found that she emailed some of her friends and said she was going
to visit her parents.

The next few emails showed that <male friend> responded that he would
arrive in the same town (opposite coast) three days before and would leave
about the same time. I also found several emails with little endearments
in the salutions i.e. girly etc..

I layed out a chronology of the events and asked her to explain. I also
expressed my desire not to have to deal with <male friend> everytime one
of us was out of town. I also tried to express how much this was
disturbing me.

She told me to get over it and that it was my fault she was lying about
things and sneeking around to see this guy. And that she was not cheating
on me and that she never would. She had intended to meet with here
friends, including <male friend> and that she intended on seeing him that
afternoon. I believe her she says that she has not cheated and she does
not intend to, but him...... I have serious doubts about, making a trip
across country, recently divorced and professing love. This has all
caused me a certain ammount of pain. I do not know how to deal from here.
Clandestine appearences, meetings, sneaking phone calls (she admits).
etc....

Am I just paranoid, where do I go from here.

Help!

"JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net> wrote in message
news:b87c88ddcc48da31c80d92ffe0886f5f@localhost.ta lkaboutsupport.com... Well here goes,

*snip*
Am I just paranoid, where do I go from here. Help!

Holy ****, you have got to be kidding. I'm almost inclined to think you're a
troll, but I'll give you the benefit of a doubt.

this needs to end right away.

If I were you, I'd demand she put a stop to this right now. In fact, if I
were you, it would have not gotten as far as you let it have. No male friend
or acquaintance tells my wife "love you" or whatnot. The fact that he
largely re-entered her life after his divorce is telling. This isn't "we've
always been like this..." (and even if it was, what you described I would
not stand for).

Good luck - you need it.

..

"JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net> wrote in message
news:b87c88ddcc48da31c80d92ffe0886f5f@localhost.ta lkaboutsupport.com... Well here goes,

*snip*
Am I just paranoid, where do I go from here. Help!

Holy ****, you have got to be kidding. I'm almost inclined to think you're a
troll, but I'll give you the benefit of a doubt.

this needs to end right away.

If I were you, I'd demand she put a stop to this right now. In fact, if I
were you, it would have not gotten as far as you let it have. No male friend
or acquaintance tells my wife "love you" or whatnot. The fact that he
largely re-entered her life after his divorce is telling. This isn't "we've
always been like this..." (and even if it was, what you described I would
not stand for).

Good luck - you need it.

..

On Sat, 5 Feb 2005 01:07:32 -0500, "JWB"
<jwb3333__takeoutallthis__@excite.com> wrote:
"JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net> wrote in messagenews:b87c88ddcc48da31c80d92ffe0886f5f@local host.talkaboutsupport.com... Well here goes,*snip* Am I just paranoid, where do I go from here. Help!Holy ****, you have got to be kidding. I'm almost inclined to think you're atroll, but I'll give you the benefit of a doubt.this needs to end right away.If I were you, I'd demand she put a stop to this right now. In fact, if Iwere you, it would have not gotten as far as you let it have. No male friendor acquaintance tells my wife "love you" or whatnot. The fact that helargely re-entered her life after his divorce is telling. This isn't "we'vealways been like this..." (and even if it was, what you described I wouldnot stand for).Good luck - you need it..
Wow.. JWB and I agreed on something... for once. =)

--Brian

On Sat, 5 Feb 2005 01:07:32 -0500, "JWB"
<jwb3333__takeoutallthis__@excite.com> wrote:
"JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net> wrote in messagenews:b87c88ddcc48da31c80d92ffe0886f5f@local host.talkaboutsupport.com... Well here goes,*snip* Am I just paranoid, where do I go from here. Help!Holy ****, you have got to be kidding. I'm almost inclined to think you're atroll, but I'll give you the benefit of a doubt.this needs to end right away.If I were you, I'd demand she put a stop to this right now. In fact, if Iwere you, it would have not gotten as far as you let it have. No male friendor acquaintance tells my wife "love you" or whatnot. The fact that helargely re-entered her life after his divorce is telling. This isn't "we'vealways been like this..." (and even if it was, what you described I wouldnot stand for).Good luck - you need it..
Wow.. JWB and I agreed on something... for once. =)

--Brian

"jbrianchamberlin" <jbrianchamberlin@adelphia.net> wrote in message
news:mbp801pf929tai2qk5i5uq4d39ts68tmtd@4ax.com... On Sat, 5 Feb 2005 01:07:32 -0500, "JWB" <jwb3333__takeoutallthis__@excite.com> wrote:"JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net> wrote in messagenews:b87c88ddcc48da31c80d92ffe0886f5f@local host.talkaboutsupport.com... Well here goes,*snip* Am I just paranoid, where do I go from here. Help!Holy ****, you have got to be kidding. I'm almost inclined to think you'reatroll, but I'll give you the benefit of a doubt.this needs to end right away.If I were you, I'd demand she put a stop to this right now. In fact, if Iwere you, it would have not gotten as far as you let it have. No malefriendor acquaintance tells my wife "love you" or whatnot. The fact that helargely re-entered her life after his divorce is telling. This isn't"we'vealways been like this..." (and even if it was, what you described I wouldnot stand for).Good luck - you need it.. Wow.. JWB and I agreed on something... for once. =)

ah, we've usually been pretty close in opinion.

"jbrianchamberlin" <jbrianchamberlin@adelphia.net> wrote in message
news:mbp801pf929tai2qk5i5uq4d39ts68tmtd@4ax.com... On Sat, 5 Feb 2005 01:07:32 -0500, "JWB" <jwb3333__takeoutallthis__@excite.com> wrote:"JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net> wrote in messagenews:b87c88ddcc48da31c80d92ffe0886f5f@local host.talkaboutsupport.com... Well here goes,*snip* Am I just paranoid, where do I go from here. Help!Holy ****, you have got to be kidding. I'm almost inclined to think you'reatroll, but I'll give you the benefit of a doubt.this needs to end right away.If I were you, I'd demand she put a stop to this right now. In fact, if Iwere you, it would have not gotten as far as you let it have. No malefriendor acquaintance tells my wife "love you" or whatnot. The fact that helargely re-entered her life after his divorce is telling. This isn't"we'vealways been like this..." (and even if it was, what you described I wouldnot stand for).Good luck - you need it.. Wow.. JWB and I agreed on something... for once. =)

ah, we've usually been pretty close in opinion.

On Fri, 04 Feb 2005 23:06:16 -0500, "JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net>
wrote:

She told me to get over it and that it was my fault she was lying aboutthings and sneeking around to see this guy. And that she was not cheatingon me and that she never would. She had intended to meet with herefriends, including <male friend> and that she intended on seeing him thatafternoon. I believe her she says that she has not cheated and she doesnot intend to, but him...... I have serious doubts about, making a tripacross country, recently divorced and professing love.

Why do you have more doubts about him than her? They both made secret
plans. And no, it isn't your fault that you're suspicious; she's just
mad that you've put two and two together. Expect her to be outraged
and upset that you looked over the cell phone bill, if she hasn't
already.Am I just paranoid, where do I go from here.

You're not paranoid. These are warning signs. Please don't ignore
them. Ask her to cut of contact with him for awhile, and then guage
her reaction.

Lauri in WA

I like my email spamless

On Fri, 04 Feb 2005 23:06:16 -0500, "JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net>
wrote:

She told me to get over it and that it was my fault she was lying aboutthings and sneeking around to see this guy. And that she was not cheatingon me and that she never would. She had intended to meet with herefriends, including <male friend> and that she intended on seeing him thatafternoon. I believe her she says that she has not cheated and she doesnot intend to, but him...... I have serious doubts about, making a tripacross country, recently divorced and professing love.

Why do you have more doubts about him than her? They both made secret
plans. And no, it isn't your fault that you're suspicious; she's just
mad that you've put two and two together. Expect her to be outraged
and upset that you looked over the cell phone bill, if she hasn't
already.Am I just paranoid, where do I go from here.

You're not paranoid. These are warning signs. Please don't ignore
them. Ask her to cut of contact with him for awhile, and then guage
her reaction.

Lauri in WA

I like my email spamless

I guess the reason I have more doubts about him than her is that she is a
little on the innocent side when it comes to this kind of stuff. Or, it
at least seems that way to me.

She is really is a kind and caring person. The type that always remembers
thank you notes and such. At the same time some things are lost on her,
certain jokes and situations.

That, and I really want to believe it is the way she says it is. On his
part as a guy I think he has made is intentions clear. Professing love,
and he is doing the broken wing thing, first it was just the divorce thing
now there are the health problems he says he has.

I do not see how since he is a MP on the presidential security force.
Seems to me if he was a sickley as he leads on that he wouldn't be there
long. National security and all.....

I guess the reason I have more doubts about him than her is that she is a
little on the innocent side when it comes to this kind of stuff. Or, it
at least seems that way to me.

She is really is a kind and caring person. The type that always remembers
thank you notes and such. At the same time some things are lost on her,
certain jokes and situations.

That, and I really want to believe it is the way she says it is. On his
part as a guy I think he has made is intentions clear. Professing love,
and he is doing the broken wing thing, first it was just the divorce thing
now there are the health problems he says he has.

I do not see how since he is a MP on the presidential security force.
Seems to me if he was a sickley as he leads on that he wouldn't be there
long. National security and all.....

On Sat, 05 Feb 2005 04:03:38 -0500, "JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net>
wrote:
I guess the reason I have more doubts about him than her is that she is alittle on the innocent side when it comes to this kind of stuff. Or, itat least seems that way to me.She is really is a kind and caring person. The type that always remembersthank you notes and such. At the same time some things are lost on her,certain jokes and situations.That, and I really want to believe it is the way she says it is. On hispart as a guy I think he has made is intentions clear. Professing love,and he is doing the broken wing thing, first it was just the divorce thingnow there are the health problems he says he has.I do not see how since he is a MP on the presidential security force.Seems to me if he was a sickley as he leads on that he wouldn't be therelong. National security and all.....

Of course. You love her. You see the best and in your heart, you don't
want to see she's capable of such actions. Totally normal. It's what
also makes it hurt so bad.

--Brian

On Sat, 05 Feb 2005 04:03:38 -0500, "JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net>
wrote:
I guess the reason I have more doubts about him than her is that she is alittle on the innocent side when it comes to this kind of stuff. Or, itat least seems that way to me.She is really is a kind and caring person. The type that always remembersthank you notes and such. At the same time some things are lost on her,certain jokes and situations.That, and I really want to believe it is the way she says it is. On hispart as a guy I think he has made is intentions clear. Professing love,and he is doing the broken wing thing, first it was just the divorce thingnow there are the health problems he says he has.I do not see how since he is a MP on the presidential security force.Seems to me if he was a sickley as he leads on that he wouldn't be therelong. National security and all.....

Of course. You love her. You see the best and in your heart, you don't
want to see she's capable of such actions. Totally normal. It's what
also makes it hurt so bad.

--Brian

"JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net> wrote in message
news:99b529120972f277efefdc2e9e717c98@localhost.ta lkaboutsupport.com... I guess the reason I have more doubts about him than her is that she is a little on the innocent side when it comes to this kind of stuff. Or, it at least seems that way to me. She is really is a kind and caring person. The type that always remembers thank you notes and such. At the same time some things are lost on her, certain jokes and situations. That, and I really want to believe it is the way she says it is. On his part as a guy I think he has made is intentions clear. Professing love, and he is doing the broken wing thing, first it was just the divorce thing now there are the health problems he says he has.

Even if it is true that her intentions are in the right place, what she is
doing is completely inappropriate and you have every reason to feel the way
you feel. It's your job to make sure she understands that.

"With friends like that, who needs enemies?" They may have a lot of innocent
history together, but if he really were a worthwhile friend to your wife, he
wouldn't putting her in this situation. Would she continue to hang out with
and comfort a "friend" who punched her husband in the face or tried to steal
her husband's car? Yet she sees no problem hanging out with a "friend" who
has wounded her husband's trust and tried to steal his wife.

She needs to cut off contact with him.

"JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net> wrote in message
news:99b529120972f277efefdc2e9e717c98@localhost.ta lkaboutsupport.com... I guess the reason I have more doubts about him than her is that she is a little on the innocent side when it comes to this kind of stuff. Or, it at least seems that way to me. She is really is a kind and caring person. The type that always remembers thank you notes and such. At the same time some things are lost on her, certain jokes and situations. That, and I really want to believe it is the way she says it is. On his part as a guy I think he has made is intentions clear. Professing love, and he is doing the broken wing thing, first it was just the divorce thing now there are the health problems he says he has.

Even if it is true that her intentions are in the right place, what she is
doing is completely inappropriate and you have every reason to feel the way
you feel. It's your job to make sure she understands that.

"With friends like that, who needs enemies?" They may have a lot of innocent
history together, but if he really were a worthwhile friend to your wife, he
wouldn't putting her in this situation. Would she continue to hang out with
and comfort a "friend" who punched her husband in the face or tried to steal
her husband's car? Yet she sees no problem hanging out with a "friend" who
has wounded her husband's trust and tried to steal his wife.

She needs to cut off contact with him.

On Sat, 5 Feb 2005 09:45:03 -0500, "DrLith" <drlith@hotmail.com>
wrote:
"JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net> wrote in messagenews:99b529120972f277efefdc2e9e717c98@local host.talkaboutsupport.com... I guess the reason I have more doubts about him than her is that she is a little on the innocent side when it comes to this kind of stuff. Or, it at least seems that way to me. She is really is a kind and caring person. The type that always remembers thank you notes and such. At the same time some things are lost on her, certain jokes and situations. That, and I really want to believe it is the way she says it is. On his part as a guy I think he has made is intentions clear. Professing love, and he is doing the broken wing thing, first it was just the divorce thing now there are the health problems he says he has.Even if it is true that her intentions are in the right place, what she isdoing is completely inappropriate and you have every reason to feel the wayyou feel. It's your job to make sure she understands that."With friends like that, who needs enemies?" They may have a lot of innocenthistory together, but if he really were a worthwhile friend to your wife, hewouldn't putting her in this situation. Would she continue to hang out withand comfort a "friend" who punched her husband in the face or tried to stealher husband's car? Yet she sees no problem hanging out with a "friend" whohas wounded her husband's trust and tried to steal his wife.She needs to cut off contact with him.

I think the advice you're being given is pretty much unanimous. What
are you going to do about it?

--Brian

On Sat, 5 Feb 2005 09:45:03 -0500, "DrLith" <drlith@hotmail.com>
wrote:
"JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net> wrote in messagenews:99b529120972f277efefdc2e9e717c98@local host.talkaboutsupport.com... I guess the reason I have more doubts about him than her is that she is a little on the innocent side when it comes to this kind of stuff. Or, it at least seems that way to me. She is really is a kind and caring person. The type that always remembers thank you notes and such. At the same time some things are lost on her, certain jokes and situations. That, and I really want to believe it is the way she says it is. On his part as a guy I think he has made is intentions clear. Professing love, and he is doing the broken wing thing, first it was just the divorce thing now there are the health problems he says he has.Even if it is true that her intentions are in the right place, what she isdoing is completely inappropriate and you have every reason to feel the wayyou feel. It's your job to make sure she understands that."With friends like that, who needs enemies?" They may have a lot of innocenthistory together, but if he really were a worthwhile friend to your wife, hewouldn't putting her in this situation. Would she continue to hang out withand comfort a "friend" who punched her husband in the face or tried to stealher husband's car? Yet she sees no problem hanging out with a "friend" whohas wounded her husband's trust and tried to steal his wife.She needs to cut off contact with him.

I think the advice you're being given is pretty much unanimous. What
are you going to do about it?

--Brian

On Sat, 5 Feb 2005 09:45:03 -0500, "DrLith" <drlith@hotmail.com>
wrote:

Even if it is true that her intentions are in the right place, what she isdoing is completely inappropriate and you have every reason to feel the wayyou feel. It's your job to make sure she understands that.

Yep. And then, if things are on the up-and-up with the two of them,
she'll pass that information onto him. And if *he* is on the
up-and-up (and I have my doubts), then his reaction should be
something like "Hey, I don't want to do anything that upsets JimmieB.
Let's just include him in all our future plans", or "Hey, if JimmieB
is bugged about this, we need to not be making plans to hang out,
because I don't want to upset your husband." My prediction? If you
request that they not spend alone time, she flips out accuses you of
being "controlling".

But please make no mistake....if something *is* going on between the
two of them, she is wholly and fully responsible for that, as is he.
There is no "innocent and naive, and he took advantage of her" AFAICT.
She is responsible for her actions. Could he take advantage of her?
Sure, but SHE is the one who has the responsibility to treat you with
care and honor her committment to you.

Lauri in WA


I like my email spamless

On Sat, 5 Feb 2005 09:45:03 -0500, "DrLith" <drlith@hotmail.com>
wrote:

Even if it is true that her intentions are in the right place, what she isdoing is completely inappropriate and you have every reason to feel the wayyou feel. It's your job to make sure she understands that.

Yep. And then, if things are on the up-and-up with the two of them,
she'll pass that information onto him. And if *he* is on the
up-and-up (and I have my doubts), then his reaction should be
something like "Hey, I don't want to do anything that upsets JimmieB.
Let's just include him in all our future plans", or "Hey, if JimmieB
is bugged about this, we need to not be making plans to hang out,
because I don't want to upset your husband." My prediction? If you
request that they not spend alone time, she flips out accuses you of
being "controlling".

But please make no mistake....if something *is* going on between the
two of them, she is wholly and fully responsible for that, as is he.
There is no "innocent and naive, and he took advantage of her" AFAICT.
She is responsible for her actions. Could he take advantage of her?
Sure, but SHE is the one who has the responsibility to treat you with
care and honor her committment to you.

Lauri in WA


I like my email spamless

Well, I do not want to her to misconstrue my attitude and somehow decide
that she is justified in her actions.

Out of the seven years we have been together, this is the only thing /
person that has caused us any grief.

I think I really need to get through to her that this is hurting us. The
trick is to do that and not have her pick up the kids and leave. I think
she knows things can not continue like this, maybe she is just unwilling
to believe it.

There is a fine line between being a perceived as a loving manly husband
and a insecure tyrant.

I am going to ask that she break it off. If that doesn't work, then see
if I can get her to back burner it for say six months and include me in
the friendship in the future.

Another tack maybe to include him in this discussion. To get the three of
us talking about it so his intentions would be more obvious.

Oh, I have thought about calling his company commander and complaining
about it. My understanding is that conduct unbecoming would ruin his
carrer. And I know a couple of people that could exert more pressure if
that failed. However, that has repercussions of its own and that road may
be just as destructive all the way around.

I really want it to be her decision, thus leaving us less injured for the
rest of our marriage.

I have decided I do not wan to be "Johnny Milktoast" here or Conan the
Barbarian either.

If all else fails then I am going to have to insist on Counseling. This
is the kind of thing that can make or break our lives.

Jim.

Well, I do not want to her to misconstrue my attitude and somehow decide
that she is justified in her actions.

Out of the seven years we have been together, this is the only thing /
person that has caused us any grief.

I think I really need to get through to her that this is hurting us. The
trick is to do that and not have her pick up the kids and leave. I think
she knows things can not continue like this, maybe she is just unwilling
to believe it.

There is a fine line between being a perceived as a loving manly husband
and a insecure tyrant.

I am going to ask that she break it off. If that doesn't work, then see
if I can get her to back burner it for say six months and include me in
the friendship in the future.

Another tack maybe to include him in this discussion. To get the three of
us talking about it so his intentions would be more obvious.

Oh, I have thought about calling his company commander and complaining
about it. My understanding is that conduct unbecoming would ruin his
carrer. And I know a couple of people that could exert more pressure if
that failed. However, that has repercussions of its own and that road may
be just as destructive all the way around.

I really want it to be her decision, thus leaving us less injured for the
rest of our marriage.

I have decided I do not wan to be "Johnny Milktoast" here or Conan the
Barbarian either.

If all else fails then I am going to have to insist on Counseling. This
is the kind of thing that can make or break our lives.

Jim.

"JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net> wrote in message
news:1f8ac4dab93e304e4bb12edecfc342a3@localhost.ta lkaboutsupport.com... I think I really need to get through to her that this is hurting us. The trick is to do that and not have her pick up the kids and leave. I think she knows things can not continue like this, maybe she is just unwilling to believe it.

I would suggest that if your wife picks up the kids and leaves when you tell
her it is unacceptible to be carrying on behind your back with a long-term
friend who has declared himself to be "in love" with her, you do not have
the solid marriage and devoted wife that you think you have.

"JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net> wrote in message
news:1f8ac4dab93e304e4bb12edecfc342a3@localhost.ta lkaboutsupport.com... I think I really need to get through to her that this is hurting us. The trick is to do that and not have her pick up the kids and leave. I think she knows things can not continue like this, maybe she is just unwilling to believe it.

I would suggest that if your wife picks up the kids and leaves when you tell
her it is unacceptible to be carrying on behind your back with a long-term
friend who has declared himself to be "in love" with her, you do not have
the solid marriage and devoted wife that you think you have.

"JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net> wrote in message
news:1f8ac4dab93e304e4bb12edecfc342a3@localhost.ta lkaboutsupport.com... Oh, I have thought about calling his company commander and complaining about it. My understanding is that conduct unbecoming would ruin his carrer. And I know a couple of people that could exert more pressure if that failed. However, that has repercussions of its own and that road may be just as destructive all the way around.


If you have to do that, then what does that say about the state of your
marriage? Leave him out of it - the bottom line is, in your wife's eyes,
your feelings have been out-ranked by him in your marriage. Fix that, or you
won't have one.

I really want it to be her decision, thus leaving us less injured for the rest of our marriage. I have decided I do not wan to be "Johnny Milktoast" here or Conan the Barbarian either.


you need to be Conan.

"JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net> wrote in message
news:1f8ac4dab93e304e4bb12edecfc342a3@localhost.ta lkaboutsupport.com... Oh, I have thought about calling his company commander and complaining about it. My understanding is that conduct unbecoming would ruin his carrer. And I know a couple of people that could exert more pressure if that failed. However, that has repercussions of its own and that road may be just as destructive all the way around.


If you have to do that, then what does that say about the state of your
marriage? Leave him out of it - the bottom line is, in your wife's eyes,
your feelings have been out-ranked by him in your marriage. Fix that, or you
won't have one.

I really want it to be her decision, thus leaving us less injured for the rest of our marriage. I have decided I do not wan to be "Johnny Milktoast" here or Conan the Barbarian either.


you need to be Conan.

What about talking to him directly, I mean I do have his phone number. I
have his address etc... I have thought about it, but I am afraid that she
would go ballistic. Claim embarassment etc..

What about talking to him directly, I mean I do have his phone number. I
have his address etc... I have thought about it, but I am afraid that she
would go ballistic. Claim embarassment etc..

JimmieB wrote: What about talking to him directly, I mean I do have his phone number. I have his address etc... I have thought about it, but I am afraid that she would go ballistic. Claim embarassment etc..

When my husband had his affair, there came a time when I, too,
considered communicating directly with his mistress. After a lot
of thinking on my part, I decided that my issues were not with
his mistress, they were with him. I also decided that any attempt
on my part to talk to her would only make things more entangled.
In fact, I went the total opposite direction. I made it extremely
clear that I wanted her nowhere near my life or instruding where
I didn't want her.

Now, my situation was different than yours is in that it was a full-
blown affair but, IMO, I don't see a whole lot of good coming from
confronting the guy. This is an issue between you and your wife.

Tracey

JimmieB wrote: What about talking to him directly, I mean I do have his phone number. I have his address etc... I have thought about it, but I am afraid that she would go ballistic. Claim embarassment etc..

When my husband had his affair, there came a time when I, too,
considered communicating directly with his mistress. After a lot
of thinking on my part, I decided that my issues were not with
his mistress, they were with him. I also decided that any attempt
on my part to talk to her would only make things more entangled.
In fact, I went the total opposite direction. I made it extremely
clear that I wanted her nowhere near my life or instruding where
I didn't want her.

Now, my situation was different than yours is in that it was a full-
blown affair but, IMO, I don't see a whole lot of good coming from
confronting the guy. This is an issue between you and your wife.

Tracey

Ok, that is what I thought.... I am just so frustrated.

Jim.

Ok, that is what I thought.... I am just so frustrated.

Jim.

JimmieB wrote: Ok, that is what I thought.... I am just so frustrated.

Believe me, I know that feeling. But, if you think about it
a bit, you might come to the same conclusions I did. I de-
cided that if the OW (other woman) were to have any doubts
about the 'rightness' of what she was doing, she would only
listen to those doubts from herself or from someone who she
liked/trusted. Anything coming from *me* would, IMO, only
put her on the defensive and, knowing me like I do and how
I wouldn't have been able to stay calm, cool, logical, etc.,
probably bolster up her own reasons for why she was doing
what she was doing. So, I figured that anything I would say
to her would most likely do the exact opposite of what I
wanted it to do.

Another part of it, for me at least, was that I was doing my
damnedest to keep the whole thing as separated as possible.
I didn't want and didn't believe that my husband should be
trying to decide between the two of us (myself and his mis-
tress.) In fact, one thing that I fought for was putting his
decision on whether to remain married to me or not as a totally
separate issue. I saw nothing but more confusion and pain coming
from him trying to decide between remaining married or leaving
to be with his mistress so I insisted that the *first* decision
he make be whether he was remaining married to me or not. So,
if I had tried to communicate with his mistress, I would have
been doing something that I was insisting he not do and that is
bring her in to it.

Tracey

JimmieB wrote: Ok, that is what I thought.... I am just so frustrated.

Believe me, I know that feeling. But, if you think about it
a bit, you might come to the same conclusions I did. I de-
cided that if the OW (other woman) were to have any doubts
about the 'rightness' of what she was doing, she would only
listen to those doubts from herself or from someone who she
liked/trusted. Anything coming from *me* would, IMO, only
put her on the defensive and, knowing me like I do and how
I wouldn't have been able to stay calm, cool, logical, etc.,
probably bolster up her own reasons for why she was doing
what she was doing. So, I figured that anything I would say
to her would most likely do the exact opposite of what I
wanted it to do.

Another part of it, for me at least, was that I was doing my
damnedest to keep the whole thing as separated as possible.
I didn't want and didn't believe that my husband should be
trying to decide between the two of us (myself and his mis-
tress.) In fact, one thing that I fought for was putting his
decision on whether to remain married to me or not as a totally
separate issue. I saw nothing but more confusion and pain coming
from him trying to decide between remaining married or leaving
to be with his mistress so I insisted that the *first* decision
he make be whether he was remaining married to me or not. So,
if I had tried to communicate with his mistress, I would have
been doing something that I was insisting he not do and that is
bring her in to it.

Tracey

I guess, the thing that bugs me the most about him, is he dose'nt give a
damn if he destroys my family.

Misery loves company and I think he wants some.

I guess, the thing that bugs me the most about him, is he dose'nt give a
damn if he destroys my family.

Misery loves company and I think he wants some.

On Sat, 05 Feb 2005 16:19:31 -0500, "JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net>
wrote:
I guess, the thing that bugs me the most about him, is he dose'nt give adamn if he destroys my family.

Of course he doesn't. He should, because decent people care about
things like that, but he doesn't. But please don't put the focus on
HIM.....it is your *wife* that has a committment to you, not this
other guy. She is responsible for giving a damn about how you feel,
and that's more important that how this guy feels. Who cares how he
feels? Married people need to put thier spouse ahead of outside
people. If she's got her sh*t together in that regard, it doesn't
matter what the other guy does.

Lauri in WA

I like my email spamless

On Sat, 05 Feb 2005 16:19:31 -0500, "JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net>
wrote:
I guess, the thing that bugs me the most about him, is he dose'nt give adamn if he destroys my family.

Of course he doesn't. He should, because decent people care about
things like that, but he doesn't. But please don't put the focus on
HIM.....it is your *wife* that has a committment to you, not this
other guy. She is responsible for giving a damn about how you feel,
and that's more important that how this guy feels. Who cares how he
feels? Married people need to put thier spouse ahead of outside
people. If she's got her sh*t together in that regard, it doesn't
matter what the other guy does.

Lauri in WA

I like my email spamless

"JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net> wrote in message
news:7b023737188bee90bd1c4e86d18322c8@localhost.ta lkaboutsupport.com... What about talking to him directly, I mean I do have his phone number. I have his address etc... I have thought about it, but I am afraid that she would go ballistic. Claim embarassment etc..

Why are you avoiding speaking directly to your own wife? This is between you
and your wife. Speak to your wife.

"JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net> wrote in message
news:7b023737188bee90bd1c4e86d18322c8@localhost.ta lkaboutsupport.com... What about talking to him directly, I mean I do have his phone number. I have his address etc... I have thought about it, but I am afraid that she would go ballistic. Claim embarassment etc..

Why are you avoiding speaking directly to your own wife? This is between you
and your wife. Speak to your wife.

JimmieB <jim@barbergroup.net> wrote:
She told me to get over it and that it was my fault she was lying about things and sneeking around to see this guy.

I suggest you go over to marriagebuilders.com and read up on emotional
affairs.

JimmieB <jim@barbergroup.net> wrote:
She told me to get over it and that it was my fault she was lying about things and sneeking around to see this guy.

I suggest you go over to marriagebuilders.com and read up on emotional
affairs.

'About a year ago he got divorced, and there started to be phone calls
and more email, and some postal mail. I noticed on the letters he was
signing them "Love you" etc... These were pretty frequent for a while
then trailed off.'

ME: Glad your red light became illuminated ! He has crossed over the
boundary line.

'I told her how uncomfortable this made me feel. I also suggested that
she should maybe (not demaned in any way) re-evaluate the relashionship
since he was wanting more that to be just friends. We never really got
to a resolution on it. Then things seemd to return to where they were
before.'

ME: THis was a very called-for response on your behalf. Ill bet i can
predict how the rest of your post goes....ill find out right now .

'I layed out a chronology of the events and asked her to explain. I also
expressed my desire not to have to deal with <male friend> everytime one
of us was out of town. I also tried to express how much this was
disturbing me.
She told me to get over it and that it was my fault she was lying about
things and sneeking around to see this guy. And that she was not
cheating on me and that she never would. She had intended to meet with
here friends, including <male friend> and that she intended on seeing
him that afternoon. I believe her she says that she has not cheated and
she does not intend to, but him...... I have serious doubts about,
making a trip across country, recently divorced and professing love.
This has all caused me a certain ammount of pain.'

ME: SOrry to tell you this, but, your wife has a character problem if
she wont put only YOU in her heart of affections ; either your wife is
short on ethics/has been fantasizing (at least emotionally) about her
male 'friend' / and-or...your wife has lost respect for you, your
marriage, is bored, or has some other undisclosed issue . No wife who
values her marriage and husband would put you in a very uncomfortable
position as she has put you in over time.

'Clandestine appearences, meetings, sneaking phone calls (she admits).
etc....
Am I just paranoid, where do I go from here.
Help!'

ME: NO..youre not paranoid. You do have a marital problem though. Ive
heard exact stories on Call in Radio Shows , and the Psychologists
advice is always : To give an ultimatum / to suggest counselling
together / and not play the game any longer. You have your work cut
out for you. You need to make your wife see in no uncertain terms ,
that, you are expecting CHANGE right away. Can u do it ??? You must
if you want to get back to the way a marrriage should be. Good luck.

'About a year ago he got divorced, and there started to be phone calls
and more email, and some postal mail. I noticed on the letters he was
signing them "Love you" etc... These were pretty frequent for a while
then trailed off.'

ME: Glad your red light became illuminated ! He has crossed over the
boundary line.

'I told her how uncomfortable this made me feel. I also suggested that
she should maybe (not demaned in any way) re-evaluate the relashionship
since he was wanting more that to be just friends. We never really got
to a resolution on it. Then things seemd to return to where they were
before.'

ME: THis was a very called-for response on your behalf. Ill bet i can
predict how the rest of your post goes....ill find out right now .

'I layed out a chronology of the events and asked her to explain. I also
expressed my desire not to have to deal with <male friend> everytime one
of us was out of town. I also tried to express how much this was
disturbing me.
She told me to get over it and that it was my fault she was lying about
things and sneeking around to see this guy. And that she was not
cheating on me and that she never would. She had intended to meet with
here friends, including <male friend> and that she intended on seeing
him that afternoon. I believe her she says that she has not cheated and
she does not intend to, but him...... I have serious doubts about,
making a trip across country, recently divorced and professing love.
This has all caused me a certain ammount of pain.'

ME: SOrry to tell you this, but, your wife has a character problem if
she wont put only YOU in her heart of affections ; either your wife is
short on ethics/has been fantasizing (at least emotionally) about her
male 'friend' / and-or...your wife has lost respect for you, your
marriage, is bored, or has some other undisclosed issue . No wife who
values her marriage and husband would put you in a very uncomfortable
position as she has put you in over time.

'Clandestine appearences, meetings, sneaking phone calls (she admits).
etc....
Am I just paranoid, where do I go from here.
Help!'

ME: NO..youre not paranoid. You do have a marital problem though. Ive
heard exact stories on Call in Radio Shows , and the Psychologists
advice is always : To give an ultimatum / to suggest counselling
together / and not play the game any longer. You have your work cut
out for you. You need to make your wife see in no uncertain terms ,
that, you are expecting CHANGE right away. Can u do it ??? You must
if you want to get back to the way a marrriage should be. Good luck.

'She is really is a kind and caring person. The type that always
remembers thank you notes and such. At the same time some things are
lost on her, certain jokes and situations.'

ME: A kind and caring spouse does not tell you to 'get over it' and
'deal with it' ; a kind and caring spouse does everything in her power
to protect her marriage and not make her husband squirm/feel bad/get
worried/feel depressed, etc... when its in her power to prevent that
from occuring.

'She is really is a kind and caring person. The type that always
remembers thank you notes and such. At the same time some things are
lost on her, certain jokes and situations.'

ME: A kind and caring spouse does not tell you to 'get over it' and
'deal with it' ; a kind and caring spouse does everything in her power
to protect her marriage and not make her husband squirm/feel bad/get
worried/feel depressed, etc... when its in her power to prevent that
from occuring.

My views, if certain activities or conditions IN MY MARRIAGE raise a
"RED FLAG" then there should be a concern, she and he cannot continue
this blatant affair. A fool is a fool.
I don't cheat on my wife, nor should she, but if someone has to be
hurt I'd rather it not be me.
The trust and respect is going out of the window, get more facts...
When problems arise in my marriage I pour the honey on it.
Be a better lover than the competition...

Covert activity:
Invite him over, you should become his best friend too.
Start calling him to see how his day is, e-mail him daily with
niceties and other bull****...
Be the friend not the foe. Get inside of their relationship, DONT BE
ON THE OUTSIDE. THE TRUTH WILL SURFACE.
"KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE, KEEP YOUR ENEMIES EVEN CLOSER"


On Fri, 04 Feb 2005 23:06:16 -0500, "JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net>
wrote:
Well here goes, My wife and I have been married for a little over five years now. Inhighschool she had a small but very close group of friends.One of these friends was male and she has continued to have a lightrelationship with him. Mainly Xmas cards, cc'ing him on emails she sendsto people including me. She says they are just friends and that they arevery close. That I was willing to live with. After all, he lived inMaryland, and we live on the west coast.About a year ago he got divorced, and there started to be phone calls andmore email, and some postal mail. I noticed on the letters he was signingthem "Love you" etc... These were pretty frequent for a while then trailedoff.While my wife and I were both out of town, I was the only one that hadaccess to email. She would regularly check my mail for me and I would dothe same. This time in particular I noticed an email from him thatincluded a comment "call me I have a question to ask you and I don't wantto do it over email." I asked her about this, and she confided in me thathe said that he was "In love" with her.I told her how uncomfortable this made me feel. I also suggested that sheshould maybe (not demaned in any way) re-evaluate the relashionship sincehe was wanting more that to be just friends. We never really got to aresolution on it. Then things seemd to return to where they were before.This week my wife was visting her parents out of town (same coast). Theday before she left I got a silent caller with <male friends> caller ID.I tried to get him to talk but the phone eventually hung up. I took thephone to my wife and told her what happend and suggested she call him.She said oh it was prolly nothing and set the phone down and went back todoing what she was doing.The other night did not recieve our regular evening phone call so Icalled. When her Dad answered the phone I asked for my wife and he said"Oh, she's not here she is out with <male friends name>...er..err.. <Oldgirlfriends name>".Needless to say this bothered me a little. So I called her cell phone.She answered, (she was in a bar) I heard the old girlfriend in the background and another man (unknown who). She told me where she was, I toldher what her Dad had said and she denied it. I chalked it up to justpicking her friends names.I got my cell phone bill and as usual checked the charges. When my wifeleft to get gas for the drive to her parents she called him. The dayafter she got to her parents she called him. I checked her email afterthat and found that she emailed some of her friends and said she was goingto visit her parents.The next few emails showed that <male friend> responded that he wouldarrive in the same town (opposite coast) three days before and would leaveabout the same time. I also found several emails with little endearmentsin the salutions i.e. girly etc..I layed out a chronology of the events and asked her to explain. I alsoexpressed my desire not to have to deal with <male friend> everytime oneof us was out of town. I also tried to express how much this wasdisturbing me.She told me to get over it and that it was my fault she was lying aboutthings and sneeking around to see this guy. And that she was not cheatingon me and that she never would. She had intended to meet with herefriends, including <male friend> and that she intended on seeing him thatafternoon. I believe her she says that she has not cheated and she doesnot intend to, but him...... I have serious doubts about, making a tripacross country, recently divorced and professing love. This has allcaused me a certain ammount of pain. I do not know how to deal from here. Clandestine appearences, meetings, sneaking phone calls (she admits).etc....Am I just paranoid, where do I go from here.Help!

My views, if certain activities or conditions IN MY MARRIAGE raise a
"RED FLAG" then there should be a concern, she and he cannot continue
this blatant affair. A fool is a fool.
I don't cheat on my wife, nor should she, but if someone has to be
hurt I'd rather it not be me.
The trust and respect is going out of the window, get more facts...
When problems arise in my marriage I pour the honey on it.
Be a better lover than the competition...

Covert activity:
Invite him over, you should become his best friend too.
Start calling him to see how his day is, e-mail him daily with
niceties and other bull****...
Be the friend not the foe. Get inside of their relationship, DONT BE
ON THE OUTSIDE. THE TRUTH WILL SURFACE.
"KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE, KEEP YOUR ENEMIES EVEN CLOSER"


On Fri, 04 Feb 2005 23:06:16 -0500, "JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net>
wrote:
Well here goes, My wife and I have been married for a little over five years now. Inhighschool she had a small but very close group of friends.One of these friends was male and she has continued to have a lightrelationship with him. Mainly Xmas cards, cc'ing him on emails she sendsto people including me. She says they are just friends and that they arevery close. That I was willing to live with. After all, he lived inMaryland, and we live on the west coast.About a year ago he got divorced, and there started to be phone calls andmore email, and some postal mail. I noticed on the letters he was signingthem "Love you" etc... These were pretty frequent for a while then trailedoff.While my wife and I were both out of town, I was the only one that hadaccess to email. She would regularly check my mail for me and I would dothe same. This time in particular I noticed an email from him thatincluded a comment "call me I have a question to ask you and I don't wantto do it over email." I asked her about this, and she confided in me thathe said that he was "In love" with her.I told her how uncomfortable this made me feel. I also suggested that sheshould maybe (not demaned in any way) re-evaluate the relashionship sincehe was wanting more that to be just friends. We never really got to aresolution on it. Then things seemd to return to where they were before.This week my wife was visting her parents out of town (same coast). Theday before she left I got a silent caller with <male friends> caller ID.I tried to get him to talk but the phone eventually hung up. I took thephone to my wife and told her what happend and suggested she call him.She said oh it was prolly nothing and set the phone down and went back todoing what she was doing.The other night did not recieve our regular evening phone call so Icalled. When her Dad answered the phone I asked for my wife and he said"Oh, she's not here she is out with <male friends name>...er..err.. <Oldgirlfriends name>".Needless to say this bothered me a little. So I called her cell phone.She answered, (she was in a bar) I heard the old girlfriend in the background and another man (unknown who). She told me where she was, I toldher what her Dad had said and she denied it. I chalked it up to justpicking her friends names.I got my cell phone bill and as usual checked the charges. When my wifeleft to get gas for the drive to her parents she called him. The dayafter she got to her parents she called him. I checked her email afterthat and found that she emailed some of her friends and said she was goingto visit her parents.The next few emails showed that <male friend> responded that he wouldarrive in the same town (opposite coast) three days before and would leaveabout the same time. I also found several emails with little endearmentsin the salutions i.e. girly etc..I layed out a chronology of the events and asked her to explain. I alsoexpressed my desire not to have to deal with <male friend> everytime oneof us was out of town. I also tried to express how much this wasdisturbing me.She told me to get over it and that it was my fault she was lying aboutthings and sneeking around to see this guy. And that she was not cheatingon me and that she never would. She had intended to meet with herefriends, including <male friend> and that she intended on seeing him thatafternoon. I believe her she says that she has not cheated and she doesnot intend to, but him...... I have serious doubts about, making a tripacross country, recently divorced and professing love. This has allcaused me a certain ammount of pain. I do not know how to deal from here. Clandestine appearences, meetings, sneaking phone calls (she admits).etc....Am I just paranoid, where do I go from here.Help!

On Fri, 04 Feb 2005 23:06:16 -0500, JimmieB
<jim@barbergroup.net> wrote:

<Snip>
Am I just paranoid, where do I go from here.

You give this man a call, and explain to him that you want him to leave
your wife alone. Should he continue to do it, you'll meet with him in
person to discuss it.

-Tony

--
"If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
to fertilize your lawn!"
Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

On Fri, 04 Feb 2005 23:06:16 -0500, JimmieB
<jim@barbergroup.net> wrote:

<Snip>
Am I just paranoid, where do I go from here.

You give this man a call, and explain to him that you want him to leave
your wife alone. Should he continue to do it, you'll meet with him in
person to discuss it.

-Tony

--
"If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
to fertilize your lawn!"
Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

On Sat, 05 Feb 2005 04:03:38 -0500, JimmieB
<jim@barbergroup.net> wrote: I guess the reason I have more doubts about him than her is that she is a little on the innocent side when it comes to this kind of stuff. Or, it at least seems that way to me. She is really is a kind and caring person. The type that always remembers thank you notes and such. At the same time some things are lost on her, certain jokes and situations.

If she were a "kind and caring" person, she'd be kind to you and caring
about your (her husband's) feelings and break this off.

-Tony

--
"If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
to fertilize your lawn!"
Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

On Sat, 05 Feb 2005 04:03:38 -0500, JimmieB
<jim@barbergroup.net> wrote: I guess the reason I have more doubts about him than her is that she is a little on the innocent side when it comes to this kind of stuff. Or, it at least seems that way to me. She is really is a kind and caring person. The type that always remembers thank you notes and such. At the same time some things are lost on her, certain jokes and situations.

If she were a "kind and caring" person, she'd be kind to you and caring
about your (her husband's) feelings and break this off.

-Tony

--
"If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
to fertilize your lawn!"
Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

On Sat, 5 Feb 2005 14:06:56 -0500, JWB
<jwb3333__takeoutallthis__@excite.com> wrote: "JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net> wrote in message news:1f8ac4dab93e304e4bb12edecfc342a3@localhost.ta lkaboutsupport.com... Oh, I have thought about calling his company commander and complaining about it. My understanding is that conduct unbecoming would ruin his carrer. And I know a couple of people that could exert more pressure if that failed. However, that has repercussions of its own and that road may be just as destructive all the way around. If you have to do that, then what does that say about the state of your marriage? Leave him out of it - the bottom line is, in your wife's eyes, your feelings have been out-ranked by him in your marriage. Fix that, or you won't have one. I really want it to be her decision, thus leaving us less injured for the rest of our marriage. I have decided I do not wan to be "Johnny Milktoast" here or Conan the Barbarian either. you need to be Conan.

So where do I point jwb@manlymen.org? :))

-Tony

--
"If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
to fertilize your lawn!"
Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

On Sat, 5 Feb 2005 14:06:56 -0500, JWB
<jwb3333__takeoutallthis__@excite.com> wrote: "JimmieB" <jim@barbergroup.net> wrote in message news:1f8ac4dab93e304e4bb12edecfc342a3@localhost.ta lkaboutsupport.com... Oh, I have thought about calling his company commander and complaining about it. My understanding is that conduct unbecoming would ruin his carrer. And I know a couple of people that could exert more pressure if that failed. However, that has repercussions of its own and that road may be just as destructive all the way around. If you have to do that, then what does that say about the state of your marriage? Leave him out of it - the bottom line is, in your wife's eyes, your feelings have been out-ranked by him in your marriage. Fix that, or you won't have one. I really want it to be her decision, thus leaving us less injured for the rest of our marriage. I have decided I do not wan to be "Johnny Milktoast" here or Conan the Barbarian either. you need to be Conan.

So where do I point jwb@manlymen.org? :))

-Tony

--
"If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
to fertilize your lawn!"
Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

"Tony Miller" <tony@cigardiary.com> wrote in message
news:slrnd14o5k.mit.tony@home.cigardiary.com... On Sat, 05 Feb 2005 04:03:38 -0500, JimmieB
<SNIP>
If she were a "kind and caring" person, she'd be kind to you and caring about your (her husband's) feelings and break this off.
Yep where there's smoke, theres fire. Call a PI if you really wanna know or
Cheaters the TV show. Let me know if you get on Cheaters so I can watch.

"Tony Miller" <tony@cigardiary.com> wrote in message
news:slrnd14o5k.mit.tony@home.cigardiary.com... On Sat, 05 Feb 2005 04:03:38 -0500, JimmieB
<SNIP>
If she were a "kind and caring" person, she'd be kind to you and caring about your (her husband's) feelings and break this off.
Yep where there's smoke, theres fire. Call a PI if you really wanna know or
Cheaters the TV show. Let me know if you get on Cheaters so I can watch.

On Sat, 05 Feb 2005 14:18:13 -0500, JimmieB
<jim@barbergroup.net> wrote: What about talking to him directly, I mean I do have his phone number. I have his address etc... I have thought about it, but I am afraid that she would go ballistic. Claim embarassment etc..

Tough ****.

-Tony

--
"If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
to fertilize your lawn!"
Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

On Sat, 05 Feb 2005 14:18:13 -0500, JimmieB
<jim@barbergroup.net> wrote: What about talking to him directly, I mean I do have his phone number. I have his address etc... I have thought about it, but I am afraid that she would go ballistic. Claim embarassment etc..

Tough ****.

-Tony

--
"If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
to fertilize your lawn!"
Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.