Hi! I have a 6 year old, and her bio-dad has not been a part of her life since she was 11 months old (NO CONTACT AT ALL). He DOES pay child support very well like he should. I have been married for 3 1/2 yrs(together for 5 yrs.) My hubby Is "dad" and always will be. Recently had a conversation with Bio's mother (i know it's pathetic, i have to go through her instead of him and he's almost 30!!!) about a legal name change, and she really conversated to me about him giving up his rights, and having my hubby adopt...they just want to get out of the $ and don't care for my daughter. Now...paternity has been established, he does pay support, but there is NO contact! If we go for adoption, and say he doesn't want to give up his rights....is there any way the courts can take his rights away considering everything, especially no contact for 5 years, but does pay??? Also, any way that his rights can get taken away without my hubby adopting her? Thanks soooo much! *new to this...sorry for rambling*;)

You want to have his parental rights taken away but still have to pay for child support?

I wish I could get my ex's rights taken away and never pay support again (of course, he's never paid to begin with) and he hasn't had contact in 5 years and he was abusive.

That should explain how difficult the process of step-parent adoption is. 3 years and counting. Reminds me, time to call the lawyer again tomorrow and see what angle the courts are throwing us this time to not allow it.

and she really conversated to me about him giving up his rights,

I'm sorry...What do you mean by this statement? :confused: Do you mean you had a CONVERSATION regarding your ex voluntarily giving up his rights?

BTW: Paying child support is considered contact.

If he keeps his rights, he keeps paying and can ask to have visitation rights.
Say, 3 years from now he finds a wife and gets all parental, he can take you to court and ask to share custody.

If he gives up visitation rights only, he will have to pay but not be able to see the child. This usually happens if he is deemed an unfit parent. He could also file later to reestablish visitation rights.

If his parental rights are terminated by the court he will not have to pay support, but he will never be able to ask for visitation. This is something the many here on the board hope and pray for. I am sure that they will give you more and better details on this.

I'm sorry...What do you mean by this statement? :confused: Do you mean you had a CONVERSATION regarding your ex voluntarily giving up his rights?

BTW: Paying child support is considered contact.

yes, his mother right away started talking about him giving up his rights and paying no support. i know there is no way in hell he can do that w/o adoption. i talked to the probate courts here and they told me that they COULD take away his rights by the fact that there has been no contact (b-day cards, letters, visiting...) i told them, "but he does pay support" they said it doesn't matter b/c there's been no contact. just sounded TOO EASY to me. that's why i joined this thing. and, how do you talk to an attorney on here? thanks!!

yes, his mother right away started talking about him giving up his rights and paying no support. i know there is no way in hell he can do that w/o adoption. i talked to the probate courts here and they told me that they COULD take away his rights by the fact that there has been no contact (b-day cards, letters, visiting...) i told them, "but he does pay support" they said it doesn't matter b/c there's been no contact. just sounded TOO EASY to me. that's why i joined this thing. and, how do you talk to an attorney on here? thanks!!

I'm going to send you a pm ....(private message)

In my state, (Iowa) even if a father pays child support, willingly or not, it is still considered contact. My opinion is, that if your hubby wants to do adopt the child and the bio dad is also willing, by all means, do it now-before anyone changes their mind. It will also save the child (and you) a lifetime of heartache and headaches if he is that pathetic. Sorry, just my opinion.:o