My ex husband is emotionally abusive and is a legal batterer. He has taken me to court 5x in 5 years to modify child support - last year my support was cut by 80%, We share custody 50/50. I have two small children- I became disabled during the marriage due to pregnancy issues - I get a small amt of disability monthly and cannot work regularly. My ex was able to get a reduction on support because I'm living off savings/investments, and my investment money made a gain last year, even though I was pulling out more money to live than making. I can live this way for about 4 more years - then I'll be totaly broke.
My ex harasses me every opportunity, uses the children (age 5 and 7) if he can, my five year old is in therapy and says she doesn't like her dad and he's 'mean'- she displays emotional problems- but because he doesn't hurt the kids physically I'm powerless. Last year he began working pro-se (without an attorney) and filed 100 motions against me, which I had to respond to with my lawyer- I've had to keep a lawyer on retainer for over six years, and I'm financially devastated. My lawyer last year tried to prove he was using the court to harass me, but she didn't convince the court.
I now have a new attorney - my ex is taking me to court again to modify child support (I get $300 now). My parenting coordinator just quit because he was too disturbed by the way my ex is focused on 'punishing me, and cites many examples of my ex projecting how he's going to 'kick my a--' in court, and other demands of the parenting coordinator to issue sanctions against me for. The parenting coordinator just sent his resignation to court- it's the first real record where I can prove he is emotionaly abusive.

My parents were very wealthy, which my ex knows. My father died a few years ago - but created a will with inheritance going into trust for my bro, sister and I. My mother is sick, and doesn't believe she will live long. At the time of her death I will inherit around 2 million dollars - which would be unbelievable, except I dread it - because I know my ex will litigate me over and over - demanding I reveal my financials yearly (because he legally can-) and doing his best to get a large amount of inheritance for child support - since there will be a financial discrepency over 10% from my new assets to his working income. No lawyer I've talked to says I can protect the whole inheritance from him -- I'm almost ready to ask my mother to change the will so I inherit nothing, and live bare bones, just so this guy can't go after me anymore. Does anyone know what I can do, or how to help? It's so hard to keep going with this guy in my life, and I don't know how to stop him.
Thanks,
Mother of two

My ex husband is emotionally abusive and is a legal batterer. He has taken me to court 5x in 5 years to modify child support - last year my support was cut by 80%, We share custody 50/50. I have two small children- I became disabled during the marriage due to pregnancy issues - I get a small amt of disability monthly and cannot work regularly. My ex was able to get a reduction on support because I'm living off savings/investments, and my investment money made a gain last year, even though I was pulling out more money to live than making. I can live this way for about 4 more years - then I'll be totaly broke.
My ex harasses me every opportunity, uses the children (age 5 and 7) if he can, my five year old is in therapy and says she doesn't like her dad and he's 'mean'- she displays emotional problems- but because he doesn't hurt the kids physically I'm powerless. Last year he began working pro-se (without an attorney) and filed 100 motions against me, which I had to respond to with my lawyer- I've had to keep a lawyer on retainer for over six years, and I'm financially devastated. My lawyer last year tried to prove he was using the court to harass me, but she didn't convince the court.
I now have a new attorney - my ex is taking me to court again to modify child support (I get $300 now). My parenting coordinator just quit because he was too disturbed by the way my ex is focused on 'punishing me, and cites many examples of my ex projecting how he's going to 'kick my a--' in court, and other demands of the parenting coordinator to issue sanctions against me for. The parenting coordinator just sent his resignation to court- it's the first real record where I can prove he is emotionaly abusive.

My parents were very wealthy, which my ex knows. My father died a few years ago - but created a will with inheritance going into trust for my bro, sister and I. My mother is sick, and doesn't believe she will live long. At the time of her death I will inherit around 2 million dollars - which would be unbelievable, except I dread it - because I know my ex will litigate me over and over - demanding I reveal my financials yearly (because he legally can-) and doing his best to get a large amount of inheritance for child support - since there will be a financial discrepency over 10% from my new assets to his working income. No lawyer I've talked to says I can protect the whole inheritance from him -- I'm almost ready to ask my mother to change the will so I inherit nothing, and live bare bones, just so this guy can't go after me anymore. Does anyone know what I can do, or how to help? It's so hard to keep going with this guy in my life, and I don't know how to stop him.
Thanks,
Mother of two

What was the legal reasons given for the reduction in CS?

Is your ex also disabled? Did he lose his income involuntarily thru a lay-off, or illness or injury?

Since custody is 50/50, how much larger is your ex's total income than your total income? (this includes funds from investments, trust funds, etc)

My ex received a deduction because what I have in my savings made a profit in one year - my lawyer calculated for the court a year to year profit of about 4%, but in fact the portfolio increased by 11% because there is a very smart investment banker in Ct managing it. It didn't seem to matter, though, that my costs are welll above what I make a year - in part because my ex has refused for years to cooperate about paying me for doctors appt.s, etc - The majority of my child support was directed to having a full time babysitter (I had to do that because of pain/disability - and it cost 12 thousand a year! ) I've payed for most of the children's out of pocket expenses every year, but that's moot to the court, because we each have 50/50 custody, and the attitude is its your problem if groceries cost more at your house than his....I dont' have the babysitter anymore, both kids are in school now - but regardless, I never received child support for food, clothes, etc. - like most people - and I think it was because my lawyer argued so hard in the beginning that I needed child support due to medical, that once the situation changed - all the other common needs weren't accounted for. I dunno.

My ex is not disabled - he is very healthy - He makes about 45% more a year with his job. I have to pull out more money every year to support gas/transportation costs, clothes, etc. So I'm not living the interest of my money, I'm pulling out additional amounts yearly and depleting the capital - which is why I'll be broke in 3-4 yers.