I am a 17 year old from Michigan. I turn 18 in August and at that point I'm afraid my child support will end. I haven't had a relationship with my father since I was about 6 (he is an alcoholic) and he has paid child support up to this point. I have been accepted into the University of Minnesota which I plan to attend in the Fall of 2008. The only problem is that it is about $22,000 per year and I don't have enough to continue my education without taking out massive student loans as well as getting financial aid. My father currently pays approximately $6,800 each year (about $70 a week for me alone) for both my brother (now 19 years old) and I. Sometimes, especially during the winter months, he does not work and therefore I do not always receive child support. Is there any way that I can get a court order or sue my father to pay part of my college tuition once I graduate?

I am a 17 year old from Michigan. I turn 18 in August and at that point I'm afraid my child support will end. I haven't had a relationship with my father since I was about 6 (he is an alcoholic) and he has paid child support up to this point. I have been accepted into the University of Minnesota which I plan to attend in the Fall of 2008. The only problem is that it is about $22,000 per year and I don't have enough to continue my education without taking out massive student loans as well as getting financial aid. My father currently pays approximately $6,800 each year (about $70 a week for me alone) for both my brother (now 19 years old) and I. Sometimes, especially during the winter months, he does not work and therefore I do not always receive child support. Is there any way that I can get a court order or sue my father to pay part of my college tuition once I graduate?

The answer depends upon many factors, depending on your father's CS arrangement with the courts and your mother. Since he pays sporadically and is still paying for a 19 year old, it sounds like they have an agreement outside the court system.

You do have one strange fact in your favor...you say your father is paying support now for you and your 19 year old brother. Generally, child support ends once a child turns 18 or graduates high school (usually whichever comes last). Since he is paying for your brother (as you understand the arrangement), I don't see why he wouldn't continue to at least pay the same when you turn 18. Why didn't your brother's support stop at 18? How is it that you are privy to what your father pays in support, anyhow?

All that being said, you need to understand that the child support is not yours, it is repayment to your mother for providing for you over the years. There is absolutely no way you will get a court order against your father, nor will a lawsuit against him go anywhere (that is really, really sad that you feel so "entitled" to a college education that you would consider suing your own father to get it).

Apply for scholarships...as many as you can...as soon as you can. There is tons of money for college that goes unclaimed every year, and there is surely someone at your high school that can help you with this. Don't forget to apply for grants, as well...you may qualify for more than you think, especially in an election year. :)

If all else fails, you can do as myself and many, many others on this forum have done in the past...work yourself through school. You may find that the rewards of earning something like a degree yourself will give you a sense of accomplishment and pride in yourself.

But please, forget about this notion that your father owes you child support - those payments are for your mother or whoever else has legal custody of you. Give her a thank you tonight for all she's done for you.

Did you think you would get a different answer in this forum than the one you received in the Michigan Family Law forum?

I did not, think I would get a different answer, but I wanted as much input as possible and I wasn't sure if those who looked in the Michigan forum looked in this one as well.

My brother is receiving back pay in child support from the many times he did not pay, though I'm not sure of whether they settled in or out of court.

I know all of this because I am in charge of what happens to my child support money. I put some of it into a bank account on a debit card that I use to buy my groceries, clothes, gas very occasionally, and any other necessities. Half of the remainder is invested and the other half is put into a bank account for college along with the money I make working 20 hours a week now.

I planned on working through college, however, I know that it will still not be enough.

It's very difficult for me to explain why I feel that my father owes me so much. Our relationship is very strained and he has caused so much emotional distress in my life that has affected my school work, my social relations, and my relationship with the rest of my family. Because of him I was denied a childhood for the most part (with my mother working two jobs I had to grow up quickly and take care of myself as well as my older brother when she wasn't around, which was fairly often).

Another concern is that if he wasn't spending his money on aiding me in paying for my college tuition, he would be spending it on alcohol. This has not only been stated by me, but by his girlfriend and my 21 year old half-sister's mother.

I did not, think I would get a different answer, but I wanted as much input as possible and I wasn't sure if those who looked in the Michigan forum looked in this one as well.

Reasonable, but you received solid legal advice there that will not change here - child support is owed to the parent, not the child.

My brother is receiving back pay in child support from the many times he did not pay, though I'm not sure of whether they settled in or out of court.

So either your father is court-ordered to pay back the arrears, or cares enough about the two of you to pay it back because he feels the responsibility. But your brother isn't receiving it, your mother is. If she chooses to give it to you and your brother to use, that's her choice, but that's not any different than an allowance.

I know all of this because I am in charge of what happens to my child support money. I put some of it into a bank account on a debit card that I use to buy my groceries, clothes, gas very occasionally, and any other necessities. Half of the remainder is invested and the other half is put into a bank account for college along with the money I make working 20 hours a week now.

Do you live at home with your mother? If so, why do you need to buy your own groceries? It's not any different than her buying you the necessities...it would just appear she gives you the money to do it yourself rather than provide it for you. It might point out that she feels you are responsible enough to make such decisions.

I planned on working through college, however, I know that it will still not be enough.

What makes you so sure you can't work and pay your way through school? It's not like you're planning on attending Harvard or Stanford...state schools just aren't that expensive, and you can do it if you commit yourself to the goal. If not, work and save for a year before college...you can save a lot of money working full-time and living at home for a year.

It's very difficult for me to explain why I feel that my father owes me so much. Our relationship is very strained and he has caused so much emotional distress in my life that has affected my school work, my social relations, and my relationship with the rest of my family. Because of him I was denied a childhood for the most part (with my mother working two jobs I had to grow up quickly and take care of myself as well as my older brother when she wasn't around, which was fairly often).

I'm sorry you had a difficult childhood...but, why not turn the situation around to a positive? You must be a very strong, capable individual to have made it through your situation. You alone can choose to let your father cause you emotional distress or see the situation for what it is and not respond negatively to it. There is very likely a great deal to his side of the story that you don't know...you should be careful to make judgments about your father and what happened between your mother and him.

Another concern is that if he wasn't spending his money on aiding me in paying for my college tuition, he would be spending it on alcohol. This has not only been stated by me, but by his girlfriend and my 21 year old half-sister's mother.

How your father spends his money is his concern, and you can't control it. If he is court-ordered to pay support to your mother, only she has the power to make sure it is paid by contacting the courts. It doesn't matter if he buys enough Jack Daniels to get stock in the company or gives 90% of his take-home to the church...he is an adult and he gets to decide what he does with his money.

Look, Heather, you seem like a very intelligent young lady who has the potential to do great things with her life. Please try to focus on what you do have, and struggle to better yourself every day. You have good grades, qualify and have been admitted to college, and seem to have a stable home situation...three things that many folks your age would love to have. Threatening to sue your father for money that is owed your mother makes you sound petty, and I'm sure you don't mean to come across that way.

My best wishes to you...I hope you are able to attend U of M next fall...it's a great school and a beautiful campus. I almost did my graduate studies there, and I was very pleasantly surprised at the friendliness of the people there and the wonderful facilities.

And the reality of life is - some of us had two hard-working parents who couldn't afford to send us to college either. My family has found that going to community college the first two years helps out a lot and you have more chances at those scholarships transferring over to the University of your choice for your Junior year.

I am a 17 year old from Michigan. I turn 18 in August and at that point I'm afraid my child support will end. I haven't had a relationship with my father since I was about 6 (he is an alcoholic) and he has paid child support up to this point. I have been accepted into the University of Minnesota which I plan to attend in the Fall of 2008. The only problem is that it is about $22,000 per year and I don't have enough to continue my education without taking out massive student loans as well as getting financial aid. My father currently pays approximately $6,800 each year (about $70 a week for me alone) for both my brother (now 19 years old) and I. Sometimes, especially during the winter months, he does not work and therefore I do not always receive child support. Is there any way that I can get a court order or sue my father to pay part of my college tuition once I graduate?

Unless your parents had a specific agreement in their divorce that states that your father must provide for your college education, then you can not try to have the courts force him to do so. Parents are not financially responsible for their adult children.