I currently have a child support order that states half of first payment to be paid on the first of the month and the second on the 15th of the month. For the last 2 years the NCP has failed to pay on time. He gives me the money whenever he feels like it always claiming his payday falls on different weeks. Can he be held in comtempt of court for this if I were to pursue it? I have threatened him in taking him back to court on this and he just ignores it. I do make significantly more than him (his choice by not seeking better employment) the guideline was used and he only has to pay $260 a month for two kids. Most of the money I make go towards bills, food, clothing, tuition etc and he can't seem to make a simple payment of $130 twice a month? I would really like to know if I have a case. Thank you in advance for your responses.

Contact your local child support office. How far is he behind in payments? Sometimes they look at it that he is trying to make an effort and paying something.

I currently have a child support order that states half of first payment to be paid on the first of the month and the second on the 15th of the month. For the last 2 years the NCP has failed to pay on time. He gives me the money whenever he feels like it always claiming his payday falls on different weeks. Can he be held in comtempt of court for this if I were to pursue it? I have threatened him in taking him back to court on this and he just ignores it. I do make significantly more than him (his choice by not seeking better employment) the guideline was used and he only has to pay $260 a month for two kids. Most of the money I make go towards bills, food, clothing, tuition etc and he can't seem to make a simple payment of $130 twice a month? I would really like to know if I have a case. Thank you in advance for your responses.

Are you saying that he pays the full court ordered amount, but he does not pay exactly on the 1st and the 15th?

If so, or if he owes less than one month's payment, no you don't have a case. Paying late is not contempt as long as the payments do get made. Does your ex get paid on the 1st and 15th? If his paydays are not exactly those 2 days, he would have a legitimate point about his paydays falling on different times.

He is not behind on payments, he just pays late all the time. He knows that I have to pay rent on the first and our daughter's tuition is due on the 20th and most of the time, he pays the entire amount past the 20th of the month. I find myself sometimes having to choose between paying rent or buying groceries. He gets paid every other week. He claims to be an independent contractor yet he gets treated like an employee as he gets paid when everybody else gets paid and it's with the same employer. He's been working there for over 2 years now. I am now searching for a part time job on weekends because his lazy *** wont get a better job. There's many jobs out there that he can do, as a matter of fact, when I first met him, he was a supervisor and then he was a CSR at a bank earning $9 per hour and this was back in 1991. I know he can get a better job but he's just lazy and doesn't want to pay more child support that is why he settles for just being an "independent contractor" for this company. :(

Well, I can trade you for my ex. He's supposed to pay me $25 a month. That was set in 2003 and I have never seen a penny.

Demartian,
I feel for you. What losers we got stuck with. You know, I'm just going to go get me a second job and provide for my kids on my own like I've been doing. When they grow up and realize what a loser of a father they had, they will not want anything to do with him and hopefully then he will realize what he has done to them.

Thanks to all who have replied.

Just be thankfull that you are getting your money.

I have dealt with this for years from my ex also...... late payments.... basically, he had to have A - not made a payment for 30 days AND B - be 30 days or more behind.

BOTH had to be met before any action would be taken. So, my ex habitually had his paid on the day before any adverse action would be taken. I'm convinced he learned the system and did it on purpose to irritate me.

The only thing you can do is take measures to protect yourself - get ahead on your bills. If he regularly pays it by the 20th or the end of the month, set your bills accordingly - so that you do not expect it until then. It will take a little work (and probably can't be accomplished until after Christmas is over) but, will help you in the long run.

God Bless!
Amy

ShakinThingzUp,
Thank you very much for this advice. I do agree with you that these deadbeats parents (and there are many out there), do know how to work the system. It is unfortunate that nowadays, the law always seems to be on their side. I have now taken steps to improve my situation, I start a part time job this weekend and that will help a lot. The only downside is that it will take time away from me and my kids. :(

I can understand that getting your payments late is a hassle. I'm sure it is. However, there are so many more of us out here who would love to be in your situation. I could really use the 18K (for one child) that mine is behind. And I'm one of the fortunate ones. There are many more who are owed FAR more.

The other thing that you might want to think about is that, for lack of a better term, and I mean no harm in this, in the grand scheme of things, your attitude about your children's father is really just a bit overboard. I'm sure he is the biggest jerk in the world. I'm sure there is no love lost between you and things usually end badly or they wouldn't end and all that. Statements like: "I do agree with you that these deadbeats parents (and there are many out there), do know how to work the system." and "his lazy *** wont get a better job" and "What losers we got stuck with." can get you to a place you don't want to be if you ever do end up taking him back to court for anything. The judge might hear statements like these, or your ex might have witnesses who have heard you talk about him like this in front of your children and think "Huuummmm, perhaps this person is out to get the ex, perhaps there might be some parental alienation going on here and maybe custody should be reconsidered" It happens.

Believe it or not, there are worse things that could happen than your ex paying late. Be happy that he pays. I'd dance naked down the street doing the Electric Slide if a check came in the mail at all or if I thought he might pay up if I did! Imagine what it would be like for you if he didn't pay at all. I think at that point he would really deserve to be called "Deadbeat" and "Loser".

When in the presence of your children, you also want to be careful what might "slip out" about their father, or the vibe you might give off. (eye rolls, deep sighs, and tooth sucking count) Statements like: "When they grow up and realize what a loser of a father they had, they will not want anything to do with him and hopefully then he will realize what he has done to them." or anything to do with blaming him if you have to pay a bill late or we can't get this because of your father, can really do damage to a kid. If he is a loser, they will know it soon enough. If not, and if these kind of ideas about their father have come from you, they will end up hurt and confused and likely will turn against you.

Just my two cents that can't even get a gumball anymore.

He knows that I have to pay rent on the first and our daughter's tuition is due on the 20th and most of the time, he pays the entire amount past the 20th of the month. I find myself sometimes having to choose between paying rent or buying groceries. He gets paid every other week.


Honestly? This is a simple problem to have and to solve. You need to budget accordingly. You know that he is not going to pay you on the exact dates that are ordered. You know that he IS paying.

He is NOT a dead beat. YOU didn't get stuck with him. You chose him to be the father of your child. He pays his support. His job doesn't pay him according to the set schedule. Deal with it. You have no case. Be thankful that he IS paying.

(I'm meaner than OSM).

Ohio "step" Mom,

Thank you for your input but please don't judge. To me he is a "deadbeat" Dad. You don't know the whole story behind this, so please don't judge me.

Cost of living here in CA is probably double of that in Ohio. I recently tried moving to Florida where rent and everything else was going to be a lot cheaper and had received a good job offer. Unfortunately, my ex who can't make his child support payments on time, got himself a lawyer and fought me tooth and nail for custody. I don't have any family in Florida just some friends who I consider like family. I could not afford an attorney and the one "free" consultation I got from an attorney here told me that it didn't look good for me since I don't have family over there and he would probably get custody should I choose to move away. With this, my heart just dropped and I withdrew the move away request. He has money to get himself a good lawyer but not for his child support obligation?

Second,
When I was pregnant with my second child, he left me for another woman. I was six months pregnant. For two years, he lived in Santa Barbara CA with this other woman whom he had another child with. For those two years, I did not collect child support from him. I worked my butt off to get ahead and not once did he offer to help out. I finally realized that he made this child too and should be equally financially responsible for his children and yes, I did choose him as my partner but he was good to me before then. Back in 2002 he finally started helping out, he was giving me $500 a month but as soon as I decided to go on with my life and started dating this wonderful Man, all of a sudden he stopped giving me the $500 a month. So many times he said things like "why don't you ask your boyfriend for money" or "why don't you marry your boyfriend, that way you can stop milking me for money" and yes, those have been his exact words. He is just mad at me because I moved on and does this to spite me but he doesn't realize that it's his children who need the money.

My ex wasn't lazy before, he had good jobs and was stable. He still has the same job since 2002 but now claims he only works a couple days a week and not all the time, yet he does nothing to get a full time job or at least a part time job to support his children.

I don't speak negatively about him to the kids by the way. What I meant to say was that kids grow up and they find out things on their own and when they do, they might end up having resentment for him for not being there for them financially. He is not even there for them at all. Yes, he takes them every other weekend but if you were to ask him what the kids grades are, he don't know, if you were to ask him what subject the kids are struggling with or what they are striving in, he don't know. He never bothers to call to ask how they are doing in school, sports, or anything like that.

Again, I will reiterate, he pays. Not only does he pay, he actually sees his children. I'm sorry you cannot appreciate those things or understand that you AND your children are so much better off than a lot of people.

I'm not judging you. I'm making an experienced appraisal of the "problem" you brought to the forum.

A man that pays his court ordered amount, in full, every month (even if it is not on your timetable and in the amount YOU think he should pay) does not make him a deadbeat.

Get back to me when yours is 18K+ (that's eighteen thousand plus) behind.

Thank you for your input but please don't judge. To me he is a "deadbeat" Dad. You don't know the whole story behind this, so please don't judge me.
Your definition of 'deadbeat' is skewed. He pays the ordered amount of child support. He sees his children. He's not even close to deadbeat.


Cost of living here in CA is probably double of that in Ohio. I recently tried moving to Florida where rent and everything else was going to be a lot cheaper and had received a good job offer. Unfortunately, my ex who can't make his child support payments on time, got himself a lawyer and fought me tooth and nail for custody. I don't have any family in Florida just some friends who I consider like family. I could not afford an attorney and the one "free" consultation I got from an attorney here told me that it didn't look good for me since I don't have family over there and he would probably get custody should I choose to move away. With this, my heart just dropped and I withdrew the move away request. He has money to get himself a good lawyer but not for his child support obligation?


He IS paying his child support.

He cares enough about his children that he was not willing to just allow YOU to move his children to the other coast AWAY from HIM. Good for him.

You are the one that chose to have children with this man in the incredibly expensive state of CA.

Second,
When I was pregnant with my second child, he left me for another woman. I was six months pregnant. For two years, he lived in Santa Barbara CA with this other woman whom he had another child with. For those two years, I did not collect child support from him. I worked my butt off to get ahead and not once did he offer to help out. I finally realized that he made this child too and should be equally financially responsible for his children and yes, I did choose him as my partner but he was good to me before then. Back in 2002 he finally started helping out, he was giving me $500 a month but as soon as I decided to go on with my life and started dating this wonderful Man, all of a sudden he stopped giving me the $500 a month. So many times he said things like "why don't you ask your boyfriend for money" or "why don't you marry your boyfriend, that way you can stop milking me for money" and yes, those have been his exact words. He is just mad at me because I moved on and does this to spite me but he doesn't realize that it's his children who need the money.



Wait. So he left you and now is mad because YOU moved on? Whatever. None of that is relevant. The fact is that for 2 years you didn't have a child support order. There was no legal obligation to give you money. (moral and legal are two different animals). Frankly, it sounds like you are angry that he left you and created another child.


My ex wasn't lazy before, he had good jobs and was stable. He still has the same job since 2002 but now claims he only works a couple days a week and not all the time, yet he does nothing to get a full time job or at least a part time job to support his children.

He doesn't have to get another job or work more to raise his income so that you can collect more.

I don't speak negatively about him to the kids by the way. What I meant to say was that kids grow up and they find out things on their own and when they do, they might end up having resentment for him for not being there for them financially. He is not even there for them at all. Yes, he takes them every other weekend but if you were to ask him what the kids grades are, he don't know, if you were to ask him what subject the kids are struggling with or what they are striving in, he don't know. He never bothers to call to ask how they are doing in school, sports, or anything like that.

You have no idea what you can say without ever uttering a word. Be extra vigilant in making sure that your kids never suspect your true opinions of their father. If you convey disgust for your ex to your children, they will assume that you are disgusted with them, as well. After all, 50% of their DNA comes from the person you hold in such contempt.

Be glad he spends time or is even ALLOWED to spend time with his children. Do you have any idea how many parents wish, hope and pray for the day that their child's other parent would recognize and want their precious child? Don't even get me started on CS. My ex doesn't pay. I don't even persue it (even though at this point, he's in violation of FEDERAL law and if I wanted to, I could really screw him over) because I want to make sure that my daughter is SAFE. We were in court for 4 years of hell. I'd be falling on my knees and giving thanks if my daughter's father could be trusted to spend time with her. Instead, my little girl grew up knowing that her 'Daddy' was dangerous and hurt her.

Count your blessings. Let go of the past. (none of it matters anymore) Work on your budget.