My wife had two boys when I met her in Italy. The father had abandoned them. We moved to California from Italy. We have been married for ten years. I raised two boys and I am very proud of them. The father has made no attempt to contact us. He knows her parent's contact info. We know nothing about how to contact him. My wife does not know how to contact his parents or any other way.

The boys took on my name through common usage. We have gone over the bio-father, step-father thing in our family with all my kids [2+2]. As far as the name, the common usage of the name has been enough. Now my oldest son is turning 16 and needs a driver's permit. Actually, I am a little late on this issue for my older son, but the middle boy will benefit from his pioneering, as usual.

The birth certificates have only the mother's name. In the place to write the parent's name it says only the mother's name. They were never married.

From my work I can see two goals: short term and long term. Both require the approval of the birth father:
How to terminate parental right of the father who can not be located?

I found this on the web but I cannot find the code section to support it. And I do not know how to apply it.
"In California, the court can terminate the rights of an alleged father without notice to him, if his name and/or address is unknown. The court will rely on the birth mother's affidavit of paternity signed under penalty of perjury, as well as on the attorney's due diligence in trying to find him."


Short term goal is to get the name of my older son straightened out so he can get his learner permit / job/ diploma / ID etc. The stepparent adoption seems like it takes a long time so the first objective will be to get a California DECREE CHANGING NAME OF MINOR (BY GUARDIAN). This could be done in two months.
"When the change of a name is for a minor, the application for a name change must be brought by one or both of the minor’s parents, but if the minor has two living parents and one does not join in the application, that non-petitioner parent must be served with reasonable notice of the application and, if that parent objects, a hearing will be held to determine whether the change of name is in the best interest of the minor."


The longer goal is the stepparent adoption. I will still have to serve notice on the birth father. What is the procedure to satisfy this?

Thank you guys...

Duplicate post.

Reposting pretty much your orignal question does not change answers you were already given. You need an Attorney familar with international Adoption laws

Ok, maybe logic will help you understand better.

Why would a US court of law terminate the rights of a non-US citizen when it has no way to verify that the mother of the child didn't kidnap the children from their father? They won't even do this to a US citizen let alone get involved with international issues.

He could be the worst person in the world, but if you can't produce him or prove that he is a current threat to the children, the chances of terminating his rights are next to nothing.

btw, you obviously never read the post I referenced in your other thread or you'd realize how difficult it is to prove to a court that they can not be found or are trying to hide from their own children.