My ex has not paid support unless it was a payment made during a court enforcement order. Benchwarrent are issued 2 to 3 weeks after 14 day missed payment. I have requested to be notified of the next time ex has the opportunity to turn themselves in on a warrant.
3 questions: NJ state supreme court issued a statement that a non custodial parent has the right to a court appointed attnory if they are going to jail for failure to contribute to child support.
1) If ex has own buisness, do they have to show that they are unable to pay (like prove with paperwork) or is it ok to just say that buisness is bad
2) if they ask for court appointed attorney, should they get one? ( I am tired of the judge saying they will go to jail for nonpayment)
3) if I took ex to civil court for payment... would they have to show records of buisness? I am in the belief that CS could not be changed unless a motion was filed.
Please note, that ex has not contacted their children since July 4th of 2007. Children are asking me why. I just avoid answering.
Any ideas or suggestions would greatly be appreciated.
Thanks

For your information: http://www.lsnjlaw.org/english/family/childsuport/csenforcement/

I can't answer in regards to the CS issue because I am not familiar with NJ law.

I can give a little advise and personal experience in regards to the kids questions.

I have 2 girls from a previous marriage. Their father would only call once every 3 to 6 months while married to his 3rd wife. While they were really young and would ask, I would just say, "Daddy loves you and I am sure he is just real busy and will call you when he can." As they got older they didn't ask really. If and when they did, I would tell them that they were welcome to call him anytime they wanted. They are now teenagers and he is remarried to a woman who absolutely adores the girls. He has made more of an effort but will still go weeks without calling them. When he does call, he questions everything they do and why. They have really come to their own conclusion that he is not really interested in being a father.

My oldest even asked to live with him during their summer visit and I told her once he returned from Iraq that she was more than welcome to. He didn't like that she couldn't be there to babysit his wife and tried to tell her alot of non truths in regards to why he was absent from their lives. She came and ask me and I at that time showed her the documents that showed he was not being truthful. I never said a word against him, just told her that the proof was in black and white and left at that. She really felt more betrayed by the fact that he would tell her bad things about me just to get his way.

Just reinforce to your children that they are loved. They will one day make their own decision in regards to how they feel about him. If they ask to talk to him, pick up the phone and call. You don't have to talk with him, simply hand the kids the phone. Let them make him cards and send them to him.

He is the one that will ultimately lose out on the best things in life. He will be old and dying one day with the regrets of not being a father to his children.

:)
Thanks for your reference to LSNJLAW. I really appreciate it. And thanks for advise regarding children. They are 13 and 16 - they know I'm advoiding issue.

My ex has not paid support unless it was a payment made during a court enforcement order. Benchwarrent are issued 2 to 3 weeks after 14 day missed payment. I have requested to be notified of the next time ex has the opportunity to turn themselves in on a warrant.
3 questions: NJ state supreme court issued a statement that a non custodial parent has the right to a court appointed attnory if they are going to jail for failure to contribute to child support.
1) If ex has own buisness, do they have to show that they are unable to pay (like prove with paperwork) or is it ok to just say that buisness is bad
2) if they ask for court appointed attorney, should they get one? ( I am tired of the judge saying they will go to jail for nonpayment)
3) if I took ex to civil court for payment... would they have to show records of buisness? I am in the belief that CS could not be changed unless a motion was filed.
Please note, that ex has not contacted their children since July 4th of 2007. Children are asking me why. I just avoid answering.
Any ideas or suggestions would greatly be appreciated.
Thanks

1. Yes, they should have to prove thier income. Sometimes a court/hearing officer won't do that, so it will be up to you or your attorney to make sure that proof is required.

2. The law in NJ says that they are entitled to an attorney. I personally am hoping that other states follow thru with the same laws. For a couple of reasons- first, anyone who is facing jail should be given the opportunity to be represented no matter what the "crime" is. Second, maybe if non paying NCPs were represented, the courts would be better about giving jail time when making a finding of contempt.

3. Yes, records should be required. From reading the link another poster provided, it appears that if the court finds that the NCP does not have the abilty to pay, that a modification can be done right then. That is a rather unusual law, in most states there has to be a specific pleading filed and served before a modification can be ordered.

Have you tried letting your kids ask thier dad why he hasn't contacted them? Are your kids old enough to call him, or even write a letter to him. It's always unfair to a CP to have to try to answer the kids questions about why the other parent isn't around. Try putting the problem in Dad's lap where it belongs.

With children that age, they know that it's not you. You have done all you can do. As the above poster said, put it in his lap where it belongs. Let him look in the eyes of those kids and explain why he hasn't been there. You have covered for him, because you love your children, long enough.

Best of Luck to you!

My ex has not paid support unless it was a payment made during a court enforcement order. Benchwarrent are issued 2 to 3 weeks after 14 day missed payment. I have requested to be notified of the next time ex has the opportunity to turn themselves in on a warrant.
3 questions: NJ state supreme court issued a statement that a non custodial parent has the right to a court appointed attnory if they are going to jail for failure to contribute to child support.
1) If ex has own buisness, do they have to show that they are unable to pay (like prove with paperwork) or is it ok to just say that buisness is bad
2) if they ask for court appointed attorney, should they get one? ( I am tired of the judge saying they will go to jail for nonpayment)
3) if I took ex to civil court for payment... would they have to show records of buisness? I am in the belief that CS could not be changed unless a motion was filed.
Please note, that ex has not contacted their children since July 4th of 2007. Children are asking me why. I just avoid answering.
Any ideas or suggestions would greatly be appreciated.
Thanks

First and foremost there cannot and will not be any changes to a court order for child support without a motion for modification at which time the obligor will be required to provide proof of his deminished earnings that being said if he owns his own business he would be required to show his most recent tax returns.

Secondly, as far as a court appointed lawyer: If they are low income they can get legal aid for the support modification however, if they have been charged with contempt for failing to pay court ordered support then yes they can get a court appointed lawyer. Please note that after a ton of research due to my brothers current support issues I have found that it is against NJ's own laws to arrest someone for a debt, and child support arrearages are a debt. The federal government found it unconstitutional to imprision someone for a debt. That being said, arresting someone for non payment of child support arrearages is a civil rights violation.

Finally, you should not have to spend money to take your ex to civil court. He owes the money and CS Enforcement will get it one way or another tax interception, levy against his personal property (including his business).

Hope this helped.

dna11207,

Please check the dates of the threads to which you are replying. This thread, in particular, is from 2007.