My fiancee and his former partner had a child 3 years ago. When their son was born they had Navy Legal draw up "general" custody paperwork in which they had joint legal and she had primary physical. He paid her support. They both signed the paternity declaration and his name is on the birth certificate. He just recently got out of the Navy and took his son out of day care (july this year) to stay at home and take care of him full time. SHe is still active duty. When he went to ask for the primary care to be switched over, she refused- they went to mediation and decided upon joint physical and joint legal where no one pays anyone child support (unless mother goes on Sea duty- which is coming up this Jan.) New paperwork has been drawn up since October and she still has it and is "trying" to find the time to get it notarized, then will give it to us and we/he will sign it and get it notarized.... we found out that she never filed the original custody/support paperwork, as well as not filing the paternity decl.--- so nothing is in the county records as to the existence of this child and his case. Does having the paperwork signed but not filed mean anything? Is it still a legally binding document??

and sorry... part 2 question... we are about to switch gears and i will be staying at home taking care of "our son" (i've been living with the father and his son since the child was 8 months old... he's now 3) and dad will go back to work. He is seeking employment and just received a nice prospect in Utah. If this job offer comes... what will we need to do to move out of California ???

Sorry it's so complicated-- any advice on California law and what order to file which piece of paper would be greatly appreciated!-
thanks so much....
Elizabeth

Dad will have a hard time moving the child out of CA. And, its not your son. He's not even your step son.

Dad will have a hard time moving the child out of CA. And, its not your son. He's not even your step son.

I'm trying to get some information for my fiancee and I so we know what we will have to do- that's what couples do- work together... and from the curtness of your message i'll assume that you've not been in a situation like this and or have been hurt from a similar situation.. and I am sorry for that.

He's not my "step son" due to a piece of paper, and if pieces of paper were all we needed to establish relationships then there would be no use for forums like this.

I have been with the child since he was 8 months old. He knows no one else with his father except for me. I care about my family and want to try and get some helpful information regarding our situation.

Thank you for your vague and pointed opinion.
I wish you the best with your life and communication to come.

WE won't have to do anything. If you didn't need those little pieces of paper, there would be no need for a forum where you can ask how to get those little pieces of paper.:rolleyes: NO relationship, no matter how loving and close, will make this child your son. You are being told this so that you do not walk into court and make a huge mess for your fiancee. That's assuming that you are even allowed INTO the courtroom.

Your fiancee is going to have to file to establish legal paternity, custody/visitation, and child support.

A paper signed by both parties but never entered into legal record is just a piece of paper.

It is not legally binding.

I don't know enough specifics to comment directly on the issue of the AoP, but as it is a 3 year old paper, he may have to actually sign another one (along with her) and then file it. I strongly suggest HE files anything that needs filing.

The odds of moving out of CA are slim to none. As hard as this is to grasp (and I do not mean that as an insult to your intelligence. I am referring to the emotional jarring your fiancee has just had to endure), at this point, this child is not his son. He cannot take the child anywhere at this point. Once custody is ordered by the court (and status quo is going to play a big part in any court's ruling) he will NOT be able to move out of state without court approval and/or Mom's approval.

Why would OP be sorry that I'm not in a relationship with a man who isn't the legal father of a child?????????????????

I was going to ask that to, to tell someone you're sorry they haven't been '"hurt" is rather sick.