I was married for a short time and the only good thing that came out of that relationship was a beautiful and caring boy. He is now twelve and being drug through a nightmare by his mother. I was to stupid and poor to get a lawyer when it came to the custody hearing. I ended up with supervised visitations and child support. I always made sure to attend my visits never missing a one for about five years, never late on my child support, and one day she decides to let him come to my house and now regurly comes to my house along with staying the weekends. My ex has always hated the relationship me and my son have, she is not capable of loving him and that is just not opinion that is a fact. He has never been hugged or kissed by his mother or even told that she loves him. She has drug him through every failed relationship and pushed him off to grandmas everytime she needed to get a man. She always wanted a little girl and a girl he is not. She just recently had a new child a little girl with no father in sight. And even now grandma has no place for him since the new baby has come along. He is at the age and him and his mother are fighting alot, I mean he is a typical twelve year old boy arguing with his mother, but a straight A student, never in trouble and an all around great kid. She does not allow him to have friends and rarely lets him leave the house, if he does he is not to leave sight of the house. They live outside of town in a very rural neighborhood or colony. The only problem with him is he constantly argues with his mother and then she blames it on me, saying I am the one telling him to rebel against his mother. She does'nt realize that she was the one who raised him to be that way and I was always told to shut up and stay in my place or she would yank the unsupervised visitations, so I never rocked the boat. This Friday he called me very upset with his mother and wanted to stay with me over the weekend, of course i said yes and it took me two hours to get him to stop crying. He is accusing her of slapping him in the face and cursing at him. Sunday is here and its getting late, so we called his mom to find out what time he needed to be home. She made the comment that he could just live with me and to come get his clothes, she then changed her mind and told me to bring him home. As I was taking him home he told me his mother contacted juvenile authorities and talked to them about his attitude. After I dropped him off she called me on my phone and I asked her about the juvenile officer, she said "I cant control him and I am tired of arguing with him" and then asked me why I didnt just get his clothes and take him to my house. I turned my truck around and told her I was on my way back, she then changes her mind again and tells me not to come and get him. I finally get home and my mom calls me, she just overheard on the scanner that the juvenile officers were on the way to my ex's house not even twenty minutes later. I met the juvenile officer at her house and was told that I dont have any say in the situation and should just go home. I wanted to still be there for my son no matter if I have a say or not, and I sure was not going to let anyone take him to juvenile facility. Well now I am back to supervised visitations and had to hear my son crying when he asked to come see me tomorrow and I had to tell him that he could not because of the supervised visitations. I also have two other little boys that are affected by this situation, they love thier brother more than anything. And what gives her the right to use our visitations as a punishment for our son?? Is she breaching the custody contract by letting my son go with me, and thus making contract void??? Or just maybe in some way I can get her back in court for breaching contract???:confused: I am sure it will envolve a lawyer and a modification of custody heard that all before. But I plan on calling child services and bootheel counsiling to see if I can get some help.

File for an emergency hearing...

Now my ex has sent my son to a facility for mental examination.... ohh, God when does it stop?? He is going to be gone for 3 to 5 days. They say he is severly depressed and angry.. which I have never wittnessed either. He is always happy and content, except when he is with his mother. She is pushing for them to put him on medication. My son does not need to be turned into a vegetable or zombie with drugs. I have not stopped crying and praying for my son. I have talked to family services and child abuse and they say that I can't do anything about it, what he is going through is not considered abuse. I am against the wall and my son is all alone in a strange place. How do things get this bad so fast? A emergency hearing is still going to be only a bandaid and I will still eventually need a lawyer. I guess thats what you get for working hard to keep yourself off welfare only to make to much money for legal aid and yet cant afford a lawyer. How we live in a perfect society. I just hope the counseling reveals the evil his mother has put him through and in some way will work against her.

Whether you consider an emergency hearing a "bandaid" or not, that is the only option available to you right now if you really want to change your son's situation any time soon. Do it now. My daughter has my grandson by an emergency order now (since May 18th with an approximate end date sometime June 08) but that is an entirely different situation. My point being, emergency orders can help the situation for more than just here and now.

When you file your emergency order, also file a motion for custody. Subpoena his school and medical records (this can wait but you need as much background on your case as possible). Go to any police department/jurisdiction/district that your ex has lived and see if there are any arrest/incident records for her and anyone she has been involved with. Call your local Bar Association and see if they can direct you to an attorney that will work for an income based fee or take payments. If they can't help you, open the phone book and call every attorney in your area and find one that can work with your budget.

Ohio Step Mom is right....

We went through this with my step daughter - Mom was severely neglectful but never abusive....... hard to prove....

I agree you should file the emergency order -- if Mom can't control him & sent him to a juvi facility it is the PERFECT time to say "Hey, I can control him" --- if you can get temporary custody, and are able to handle him ok during that time you will have a lot of ground to stand on in a permanent hearing....

I can't say enough about documentation.
Document every conversation you have with bio-mom - get a journal and write it all down.
Start getting all those records that Ohio Step Mom recommended above - you will need them....

At the very LEAST you should be able to get UNSUPERVISED visitation at this point legally where she can't stop it .... line up witnesses that you have had him for unsupervised visitation for however long thats been going on - go in there with dates if you have them on when it started....

Judges & magistrates like to see proof of a stable home environment with adequate housing and care for the child. In our custody hearing, one of the biggest impacts was made by showing the judge pictures of our home and the room we had prepared and decorated for our daughter. Knowing her home/bedroom was ready & prepared for her just for visitation was something the judge liked hearing (her former home she shared a room with 3 other people!!!)

Don't wait to file.......... you will regret it later if you don't!

God Bless!
Amy