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Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 12:47 AM
I am a 13 year old girl, but i love a 27 year old. ok, so some, or most people think this is wrong but i know how i feel. I want to know how old i have to be to kiss him, or have sex. Is it 16, or 18? im so confused. :confused:

cbg
10-17-2007, 01:26 AM
New Jersey's laws on the subject are a bit convoluted, but the bottom line is that if you have sex with him now, he can go to jail for between five and ten years.

You are MUCH too young to be thinking about having sex with anyone, let alone someone more than twice your age.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 01:35 AM
Hehe i am much too young to be thinking about sex, i dont want to do anything till im much older. but yet, i am curious to know wen i am able to if i wanted. haha he wouldnt even think about touching me now:p

Baystategirl
10-17-2007, 03:19 AM
Hehe i am much too young to be thinking about sex, i dont want to do anything till im much older. but yet, i am curious to know wen i am able to if i wanted. haha he wouldnt even think about touching me now:p

Has he been discussng this with you?

moburkes
10-17-2007, 06:28 AM
I am a 13 year old girl, but i love a 27 year old. ok, so some, or most people think this is wrong but i know how i feel. I want to know how old i have to be to kiss him, or have sex. Is it 16, or 18? im so confused. :confused:

If I had a 13 year old daughter talking about being in love, she wouldn't leave the house, except for school and church, for 5 years. Literally.

atsiamanda
10-17-2007, 07:19 AM
If I had a 13 year old daughter talking about being in love, she wouldn't leave the house, except for school and church, for 5 years. Literally.

I have a 13 year old and she knows very well that she would be under lock and key. I am very fortunate to have a very good relationship with her and her sister (12). Matter of fact, the 13 year old looked at me on the way home yesterday and said, "The boy I like has KISSED a girl before. I told him if he tried to KISS me, he wouldn't be able to taste his food for the rest of his life." :D !!!!! She is very physically mature for her age but not mentally. That is the problem with a lot of girls now. They look alot older than they are. That is when it up to the PARENTS to maintain communication with them. Too many people are too "busy" to notice the warning signs. I work a full time job and a part time, help my parents and very involved with kids. This is by myself, at least until Hubby comes home from the Sand Box in December. Then it's a vacation for dear ole' mom.:p

mommyof4
10-17-2007, 07:33 AM
Well, here is the NJ law. Note that I included definitions. The short answer is that this man should be running as fast as he can to get away from you. If he touches you, he goes to prison. It's not a game. You are not Juliet to his Romeo. You are a little girl and I bet dollars to donuts, he has absoluetly no intention of having anything to do with you. I don't mean to be harsh, but you need to face reality.



2C:14-1. Definitions
2C:14-1. Definitions. The following definitions apply to this chapter:


a. "Actor" means a person accused of an offense proscribed under this act;
b. "Victim" means a person alleging to have been subjected to offenses proscribed by this act;
c. "Sexual penetration" means vaginal intercourse, cunnilingus, fellatio or anal intercourse between persons or insertion of the hand, finger or object into the anus or vagina either by the actor or upon the actor's instruction. The depth of insertion shall not be relevant as to the question of commission of the crime;
d. "Sexual contact" means an intentional touching by the victim or actor, either directly or through clothing, of the victim's or actor's intimate parts for the purpose of degrading or humiliating the victim or sexually arousing or sexually gratifying the actor. Sexual contact of the actor with himself must be in view of the victim whom the actor knows to be present;
e. "Intimate parts" means the following body parts: sexual organs, genital area, anal area, inner thigh, groin, buttock or breast of a person;
f. "Severe personal injury" means severe bodily injury, disfigurement, disease, incapacitating mental anguish or chronic pain;
g. "Physically helpless" means that condition in which a person is unconscious or is physically unable to flee or is physically unable to communicate unwillingness to act;
h. "Mentally defective" means that condition in which a person suffers from a mental disease or defect which renders that person temporarily or permanently incapable of understanding the nature of his conduct, including, but not limited to, being incapable of providing consent;
i. "Mentally incapacitated" means that condition in which a person is rendered temporarily incapable of understanding or controlling his conduct due to the influence of a narcotic, anesthetic, intoxicant, or other substance administered to that person without his prior knowledge or consent, or due to any other act committed upon that person which rendered that person incapable of appraising or controlling his conduct;
j. "Coercion" as used in this chapter shall refer to those acts which are defined as criminal coercion in section 2C:13-5(1), (2), (3), (4), (6) and (7).



2C:14-2 Sexual assault.

2C:14-2. Sexual assault. a. An actor is guilty of aggravated sexual assault if he commits an act of sexual penetration with another person under any one of the following circumstances:

(1) The victim is less than 13 years old;

(2) The victim is at least 13 but less than 16 years old; and

(a) The actor is related to the victim by blood or affinity to the third degree, or

(b) The actor has supervisory or disciplinary power over the victim by virtue of the actor's legal, professional, or occupational status, or

(c) The actor is a resource family parent, a guardian, or stands in loco parentis within the household;

(3) The act is committed during the commission, or attempted commission, whether alone or with one or more other persons, of robbery, kidnapping, homicide, aggravated assault on another, burglary, arson or criminal escape;

(4) The actor is armed with a weapon or any object fashioned in such a manner as to lead the victim to reasonably believe it to be a weapon and threatens by word or gesture to use the weapon or object;

(5) The actor is aided or abetted by one or more other persons and the actor uses physical force or coercion;

(6) The actor uses physical force or coercion and severe personal injury is sustained by the victim;

(7) The victim is one whom the actor knew or should have known was physically helpless, mentally defective or mentally incapacitated.

Aggravated sexual assault is a crime of the first degree.

b. An actor is guilty of sexual assault if he commits an act of sexual contact with a victim who is less than 13 years old and the actor is at least four years older than the victim.

c. An actor is guilty of sexual assault if he commits an act of sexual penetration with another person under any one of the following circumstances:

(1) The actor uses physical force or coercion, but the victim does not sustain severe personal injury;

(2) The victim is on probation or parole, or is detained in a hospital, prison or other institution and the actor has supervisory or disciplinary power over the victim by virtue of the actor's legal, professional or occupational status;

(3) The victim is at least 16 but less than 18 years old and:

(a) The actor is related to the victim by blood or affinity to the third degree; or

(b) The actor has supervisory or disciplinary power of any nature or in any capacity over the victim; or

(c) The actor is a resource family parent, a guardian, or stands in loco parentis within the household;

(4) The victim is at least 13 but less than 16 years old and the actor is at least four years older than the victim.

Sexual assault is a crime of the second degree.



2C:14-3 Aggravated criminal sexual contact; criminal sexual contact
a. An actor is guilty of aggravated criminal sexual contact if he commits an act of sexual contact with the victim under any of the circumstances set forth in 2C:14-2a. (2) through(7).

Aggravated criminal sexual contact is a crime of the third degree.

b. An actor is guilty of criminal sexual contact if he commits an act of sexual contact with the victim under any of the circumstances set forth in section 2C:14-2c. (1) through(4).

Criminal sexual contact is a crime of the fourth degree.

moburkes
10-17-2007, 07:36 AM
Yes, my daughter would be looked up, and her crush would be missing body parts.

demartian
10-17-2007, 07:44 AM
Her words sound like a typical teenage crush... He most likely has no clue she likes him. In another year, he will be replaced with the next one.

I had a crush on Harrison Ford when I was a teenager. Then, as I got a little older I realized there are more important things in life and had a crush on Bill Gates instead... lol

atsiamanda
10-17-2007, 07:50 AM
At least you have your priorities ($$$$$$$$) in the right order. JK!! Both of my girls have a HUGE crush on a gentleman that is a substitute at their school. Actually every girl in the school thinks he is "HOT". :cool: They all want him to sub in their class because he is such a good teacher...YEAH RIGHT!!!

Have a great day!!!

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 10:29 AM
He knows very well i love him, and he loves me too but he always kicks himself about it. and no, he has not brought the subject up but i have to c his reaction. My mom doesnt know im in love, and i dont care if she does she cant tell me im not in love.

moburkes
10-17-2007, 10:33 AM
He knows very well i love him, and he loves me too but he always kicks himself about it. and no, he has not brought the subject up but i have to c his reaction. My mom doesnt know im in love, and i dont care if she does she cant tell me im not in love.

You're a CHILD. People go to jail for this. Are you so "in love" that you'd like your "soul mate" to spend the rest of his life in jail for you.

This is sick.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 10:36 AM
number 1. I am in love
number 2. he is my soulmate
number 3. id never ever think about sleeping with him now
number 4. i wouldnt let him go to jail for me bc i do love him!
:mad:

moburkes
10-17-2007, 10:37 AM
number 1. I am in love
number 2. he is my soulmate
number 3. id never ever think about sleeping with him now
number 4. i wouldnt let him go to jail for me bc i do love him!
:mad:

You need counseling. You do realize, don't you, that a 13 year old doesn't have the maturity to even think, realize, or know what the hell she's talking about, right?

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 10:41 AM
I do have the maturity. if i was 30 n he was 44 no one would even be talking about this. 14 year isnt that much and ok so wat im 13? romans got married younger than me! im just curious wen we could do anything. so sorry im a curious person:mad: and counsling, been there done that it sucks

moburkes
10-17-2007, 10:44 AM
I do have the maturity. if i was 30 n he was 44 no one would even be talking about this. 14 year isnt that much and ok so wat im 13? romans got married younger than me! im just curious wen we could do anything. so sorry im a curious person:mad: and counsling, been there done that it sucks

The law says that you don't. A 30 year old knows WAY more about the world than a 13 year old. A 13 year old can't drive a vehicle, vote, drink, or hold a job to take care of the bills.

"Been there, done that. It sucks." (I added proper punctuation). That statement ALONE shows your maturity level.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 10:51 AM
why must u crucify me? im sick of people telling me i cant love because im 13! He loves me and i love him, but know neither of us are acting on our love until im old enough, goddess!

moburkes
10-17-2007, 11:26 AM
why must u crucify me? im sick of people telling me i cant love because im 13! He loves me and i love him, but know neither of us are acting on our love until im old enough, goddess!

Another sign of immaturity. This is NOT a crucification. He does NOT love you. It is illegal and he has a mental problem - seriously.

YOU are not of a legal age where it has been determined that you can make these types of decisions. Period.

miltowngirl
10-17-2007, 11:35 AM
I am a 13 year old girl, but i love a 27 year old. ok, so some, or most people think this is wrong but i know how i feel. I want to know how old i have to be to kiss him, or have sex. Is it 16, or 18? im so confused. :confused:


this is a hard situation.

your 13 he's 27. whether you love him or not their are laws that can have him put in jail for having sexual or intimate relations with you. I believe you can find love at any age but it depends on whether its true love, puppy love, or infatuation. if you love him and he loves you {honestly}

wait until you are 18 to start a relationship. but it would be better to move on at this point. consequences are severe at this point.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 11:35 AM
Don't tell me he doesn't love me. I know he does and he hates himself for it. I am not saying i want to do anything with him now. he wont even hug me in fear of going to prison >.<

moburkes
10-17-2007, 11:37 AM
Don't tell me he doesn't love me. I know he does and he hates himself for it. I am not saying i want to do anything with him now. he wont even hug me in fear of going to prison >.<

He has a mental problem. You are a CHILD. He does not love you.

But, no, this is NOT a "hard" situation. There is only 1 thing hard about this, and it is NOT the situation.

miltowngirl
10-17-2007, 11:40 AM
why must u crucify me? im sick of people telling me i cant love because im 13! He loves me and i love him, but know neither of us are acting on our love until im old enough, goddess!

you can love but there are different levls of love. Age has nothing to do with love but he is sacrificing his freedom. a relationship of your degree should wait until it is legal

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 11:40 AM
How dare you say he has a mental problem. let me ask you sometime, do you choose who your soulmate is? or who you love. no u do not u just do

miltowngirl
10-17-2007, 11:42 AM
He has a mental problem. You are a CHILD. He does not love you.

But, no, this is NOT a "hard" situation. There is only 1 thing hard about this, and it is NOT the situation.


even i know he doesn't have a mental problem. he cannot help who he loves. its a mistake that he cannot control. you feel how you feel and even a law can't change that. a law can prevent you from doing certain things and committing certain act but it cannot control how a person feels.

i'm not being rude moburkes (just saying it like it is)

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 11:43 AM
I understand you there, we arnt even dating he is too scared. we both love each other but are scared...very scared. I dont want him to lose his son either b/c he goes to jail

miltowngirl
10-17-2007, 11:43 AM
i agree with madlyinlove but that doesn't make it legal to be with him

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 11:47 AM
I dont know why this thread turned into a fight about wheather or not we love each other. Ive said it several times im not doing anything until im of legal age to do it, nor do i want to

miltowngirl
10-17-2007, 11:47 AM
you're thinking about his son right?
imagine him seeing his father getting arrested.
if you wait a few years and ya'll feel the same way then no one will have to go through that.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 11:48 AM
hehe thats the point. im not doing anything for a few more year. i love him and i dont want to see him get hurt. I never said i wasnt going to wait

miltowngirl
10-17-2007, 11:49 AM
ok then....
waiting is the best decision.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 11:51 AM
the reason i started this thread is so i can know the laws, so i dont get him arrested but yet...no one has answered my question yet lol its all been about telling me he's a pedafile and im too young to feel this way

atsiamanda
10-17-2007, 11:55 AM
1st of all, if this 27 year old "loves" you, there is something seriously wrong. For one he is a PEDOPHILE and he deserves to be in prison. I just wander how many other children he has "loved".

Where in the world would you meet a 27 year old and have the opportunity to even discuss being involved with him? Where are your parents while you are on the computer asking advise about the pedophile? I wander if they check the history on your computer to see what websites that you have visited???

miltowngirl
10-17-2007, 11:57 AM
do you have all the information you need now?

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 11:58 AM
You where what? my mom is out. and my dada is goddess knows where, i hope rehab. for his own good >.<. he is not a pedafile!!! your not being fair

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 11:59 AM
nope i dont, b/c everyone here is too busy yelling at me

moburkes
10-17-2007, 12:00 PM
You where what? my mom is out. and my dada is goddess knows where, i hope rehab. for his own good >.<. he is not a pedafile!!! your not being fair

He is a pedofile. You're being DENSE, just like I would expect a 13 year old to be.

You need to be at LEAST 16. At least.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 12:02 PM
it's ok if you think that. its no skin off my nose i know how he feels about me and i know how i feel bottem line

atsiamanda
10-17-2007, 12:06 PM
I am not yelling at you. But you are a child coming on here and asking about being with your 27 year old soul mate. I am not going to say, "Oh honey it's fine, just don't do anything physical with him." It's not ok and it's against the law. He is a pedophile and any court in this country will look upon him that way. If he is even TALKING with you about being with you, regardless of now or when you are legal, he is a sick individual. He was driving when you were still riding a tricycle. I have a daughter your age. If I found that a 27 year old man as much as said, "I love you" to her, he would be under the jail. Or rather I would be under the jail because his family would be planning his funeral. Miltown...this is another child giving you advise. If you read her posts, I don't really think she is in the position to be dishing out advise.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 12:08 PM
*sigh* he does tell me he loves me. he is not a pedafile...ive known him since i was 10 i can almost read his thought. i know he loves me, and i dont care if thats wrong or not because the second im 18, all of this goes away and i can do watever i feel like with him

atsiamanda
10-17-2007, 12:11 PM
Well that just changes everything...you have loved him since you were in Barbie panties and riding your bike with pink tassles hanging out of the handle bars. I am done discussing this with you. You are a child that has NO clue what love is beyond High School Musical. He is an adult that I pray will be caught and put behind bars.

miltowngirl
10-17-2007, 12:14 PM
if people don't want to help you and just want to mock you don't take in their ignorant comments

miltowngirl
10-17-2007, 12:15 PM
Well that just changes everything...you have loved him since you were in Barbie panties and riding your bike with pink tassles hanging out of the handle bars. I am done discussing this with you. You are a child that has NO clue what love is beyond High School Musical. He is an adult that I pray will be caught and put behind bars.

are you saying that you never felt yourself in love when you were young?

atsiamanda
10-17-2007, 12:18 PM
Of course I "thought" I was in love MANY times when I was young. We all do. He is 27!!!!!!!!! Amber, your brothers child that you posted about. A 16 year old is wanting to "love" that child. Does that make it ok???? No, and I am sure you would kill for that child, correct?

I am not here to put anyone down. I am just telling you that this man does not LOVE you. It is against the law and he is a PEDOPHILE (not pedafile).

cbg
10-17-2007, 12:22 PM
No one is saying you don't love him. We understand that you do.

What you do not understand is that we know from personal experience that it is quite unlikely that this is a lasting love. It is also true, whether you want to believe it or not, that a 27 year old who is in love with a 13 year old has SERIOUS emotional issues. I know you don' t believe me and will probably be furious with me for saying so, but you will understand in ten years how right I am. So if he really does love in in the way that you believe he does, he has serious problems. Otherwise he would be looking at women his own age, not children, for his emotional support.

And if he is even considering sex with you, then YES, he is a pedophile by definition, whether you want to believe that or not.

No matter how you slice it, this is an extremely unhealthy relationship.

miltowngirl
10-17-2007, 12:23 PM
but you honestly don't know how this man feels about her because you're not there listening to how they talk to each otherand stuff like that.
my nephew is a different situation. even if she is 13 she is getting to the point where she IS mature enough to make decisons for herself and about how she feels. i'm 16. I love my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. though there is not much of an age difference between us its kind of the same with madly.

he admits that he loves her. he's not raping her. she's telling us that SHE loves HIM. he isn't forcing her to have sex or to do anything. she is wanting to be with him. this isn't the same a a mna molesting a baby. once you reach your teens and sometimes before then, you are more mature than people think you are.

demartian
10-17-2007, 12:24 PM
are you saying that you never felt yourself in love when you were young?

All teens have a crush at some point, but any adult over 18 needs to know the difference between Love, Puppy Love, Infatuation and just plain illegal pedophile actions.

It's not the 13 year old's fault that she is being put into a really bad situation, it's the 27 year old's fault.

miltowngirl
10-17-2007, 12:27 PM
All teens have a crush at some point, but any adult over 18 needs to know the difference between Love, Puppy Love, Infatuation and just plain illegal pedophile actions.

It's not the 13 year old's fault that she is being put into a really bad situation, it's the 27 year old's fault.

teens can experience love. i've been in love with my boyfriend since i was 13 or 14. she's at an age that she is beginning to understand what she wants. it might not be right or legal but its her own decisons that are going to be counted for as well as her boyfriends

mommyof4
10-17-2007, 12:30 PM
but you honestly don't know how this man feels about her because you're not there listening to how they talk to each otherand stuff like that.
my nephew is a different situation. even if she is 13 she is getting to the point where she IS mature enough to make decisons for herself and about how she feels. i'm 16. I love my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. though there is not much of an age difference between us its kind of the same with madly.

he admits that he loves her. he's not raping her. she's telling us that SHE loves HIM. he isn't forcing her to have sex or to do anything. she is wanting to be with him. this isn't the same a a mna molesting a baby. once you reach your teens and sometimes before then, you are more mature than people think you are.

It doesn't MATTER how this man "feels". It doesn't MATTER how perfect they are for each other. It only matters that this "relationship" is illegal and WRONG.

No 27 year old man has any business having anything romantically (or potentially romantically) to do with a 13 year old child.

The arguments that the OP has put forth about the ways of the Romans does nothing but prove our point that she is a child, thinking with a child's logic.

She's a little girl. She has a crush on the older man. If he even hints that he returns her affections, there is something fundamentally wrong with him.

I DID post the law. He won't go to jail for a couple of years. He's looking at potentially YEARS in prison, where his new lady love will be named Bubba who trades him out for packs of smokes.

This is, of course, assuming that he even has any idea that she exists in any way other than a 13 year old kid that he just happens know.

demartian
10-17-2007, 12:33 PM
teens can experience love. i've been in love with my boyfriend since i was 13 or 14. she's at an age that she is beginning to understand what she wants. it might not be right or legal but its her own decisons that are going to be counted for as well as her boyfriends

Get back to us in 10 years... Let us know how everything goes.

miltowngirl
10-17-2007, 12:34 PM
this has nothing to do with how he feels. she is trying to explain to us how she feels and wants our help. she loves him and he is not forcing her to do anything or trying to rape her

miltowngirl
10-17-2007, 12:35 PM
Get back to us in 10 years... Let us know how everything goes.

Message Deleted by the Moderator.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 12:35 PM
im glad miltowngirl is sticking up for me :p she is teenager like me and understand. you people dont get he doesnt want to sleep with me...yet...i was just curious wen we could..if we wanted goddess!

miltowngirl
10-17-2007, 12:37 PM
im glad miltowngirl is sticking up for me :p she is teenager like me and understand. you people dont get he doesnt want to sleep with me...yet...i was just curious wen we could..if we wanted goddess!]
she is thinking about the future and trying to take precautions

demartian
10-17-2007, 12:44 PM
Message Deleted by the Moderator.

I'm ending your crazy rant here, insult me all you like, nobody will see it. :)

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 12:45 PM
this is really annoying me everything thinking he is a pedafile >.< u dont know him

cbg
10-17-2007, 12:51 PM
We don't have to know him.

A 27 YEAR OLD WHO IS INTERESTED ROMANTICALLY IN A 13 YEAR OLD IS, BY DEFINITION, A PEDOPHILE.

mommyof4
10-17-2007, 12:54 PM
this is really annoying me everything thinking he is a pedafile >.< u dont know him

I don't have to know him, personally, to know that no 27 year old adult should ever entertain romantic (or sexual) thoughts about a child. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever.

I don't care if you presented credentials sent down by Jupiter, Juno, Venus, Juventas, Cupid, Priapus, and Lucina and notarized by Janus. (you're the one that brought up the Romans. If you don't know who those names belong to, look them up.)

He is a 27 year old man. You are a child. If he is as good and pure as you state, he does NOT return your feelings. Enjoy your crush on him. That is perfectly natural and healthy. Recognize the traits in him you find attractive. Then realize that you need to look for those traits in a suitable and LEGAL boyfriend.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 12:54 PM
ok so maybe he does love me. but he isnt trying to rape me or tell me to do anything like that. he loves me for me, not my body not my age, for my soul and if you dont understand that its not my problem

mommyof4
10-17-2007, 12:56 PM
ok so maybe he does love me. but he isnt trying to rape me or tell me to do anything like that. he loves me for me, not my body not my age, for my soul and if you dont understand that its not my problem

Nope, that's where you are dead wrong. It's NOT our problem. It's HIS very big problem.

If this "relationship" is what I think it truly is, it is YOUR problem and you need to realize that you are just going through growing pains.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 12:58 PM
i never said we were in a relationship either, just a very good friendship and we happen to be in love...and not acting till im 18. he is not a pedafile b/c he's not doing anything to me

moburkes
10-17-2007, 01:06 PM
this is really annoying me everything thinking he is a pedafile >.< u dont know him

He is a pedofile. The LAW states that he is a pedofile. He will also be BRANDED a sexual offender. He will be legally barred from being in the same household with other children.

Do you think that we have never been teenagers? Do you think we went from 5 to 25?

YOU CANNOT DRIVE A VEHICLE, GET A JOB, TAKE CARE OF A FAMILY, TALK USING PROPER ENGLISH AND GRAMMAR, YET YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT LOVE THAN THOSE OF US WHO HAVE EXPERIENCE.

Honey, love means well, but it doesn't pay the bills, and it won't keep him out of jail. If you had any adult figure in your life that cared about you, he'd have a restraining order, and be in jail by now, for breaking it.

Both you and miltowngirl are showing your immaturity.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 01:08 PM
He doesnt think of me as as adult, if u actually got to know me ud realize i act more like an adult than a child. and this is the internet i dont care about using proper english

moburkes
10-17-2007, 01:09 PM
but you honestly don't know how this man feels about her because you're not there listening to how they talk to each otherand stuff like that.
my nephew is a different situation. even if she is 13 she is getting to the point where she IS mature enough to make decisons for herself and about how she feels. i'm 16. I love my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. though there is not much of an age difference between us its kind of the same with madly.

he admits that he loves her. he's not raping her. she's telling us that SHE loves HIM. he isn't forcing her to have sex or to do anything. she is wanting to be with him. this isn't the same a a mna molesting a baby. once you reach your teens and sometimes before then, you are more mature than people think you are.
He doesn't NEED to rape her. She is NOT OLD ENOUGH to give her consent.

Miltowngirl, seriously, based on YOUR POSTS ALL OF THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW AND SURROUND YOURSELF WITH ARE DISFUNCTIONAL. You don't know what you're talking about. All you KNOW is disfunction. That has NOTHING to do with mocking, and 100% to do with reality.

moburkes
10-17-2007, 01:11 PM
He doesnt think of me as as adult, if u actually got to know me ud realize i act more like an adult than a child. and this is the internet i dont care about using proper english

You're exactly right. He KNOWS that you are a child. That's why we KNOW that he has mental issues. Who CARES how you act? The law doesn't, and I don't.

I know that you need to slow down, though.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 01:12 PM
grrrr he hasnt even kissed me yet, he isnt going to rape me statatory or not!

moburkes
10-17-2007, 01:13 PM
grrrr he hasnt even kissed me yet, he isnt going to rape me statatory or not!

He doesn't need to. Like I said, if there was a REAL adult who was looking out for your wellbeing, he'd have a restraining order against him.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 01:14 PM
iono about u but he doesnt want to touch me, b/c yes i am a child. he doesnt need a restraining order against him >.< b/c he knows he isnt going to touch me! he loves me and doesnt want that for him, or me

demartian
10-17-2007, 01:15 PM
grrrr he hasnt even kissed me yet, he isnt going to rape me statatory or not!

That's because if he DID kiss you, he'd be spending a minimum of 10 years in jail mandatory.

moburkes
10-17-2007, 01:16 PM
iono about u but he doesnt want to touch me, b/c yes i am a child. he doesnt need a restraining order against him >.< b/c he knows he isnt going to touch me! he loves me and doesnt want that for him, or me

Yes, he does. He needs to get psychological help for lusting after a child. It is disgusting and sick and illegal.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 01:16 PM
He told me last nite, he is not willing to look past my age that he has moral standard and does not intend to break them.

moburkes
10-17-2007, 01:18 PM
He told me last nite, he is not willing to look past my age that he has moral standard and does not intend to break them.
You wear the rose-colored glasses of a 13 year old. A moral 27 year old, wouldn't even entertain such a conversation with a 13 year old. Another indication of his mental deterioration.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 01:19 PM
So ur saying that an adult can not have a kid friend? wow u r one closeminded person

demartian
10-17-2007, 01:20 PM
You wear the rose-colored glasses of a 13 year old. A moral 27 year old, wouldn't even entertain such a conversation with a 13 year old. Another indication of his mental deterioration.

True, if the conversation were anything other than "I love you like a little sister, now scram.", he is either just plain lying to let you down without hurting you or has metal issues.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 01:21 PM
Noooooooo he does not have mental issue, love is ageless seriously. he isnt doing anything with me. even if he wanted to people cant get arrested for "wanting" to commit a crime

moburkes
10-17-2007, 01:23 PM
So ur saying that an adult can not have a kid friend? wow u r one closeminded person
Yep, I'm closeminded. No adult male needs to be friends with a female child.



Noooooooo he does not have mental issue, love is ageless seriously. he isnt doing anything with me. even if he wanted to people cant get arrested for "wanting" to commit a crime The crime would be violating the restraining order. And, yes, people get arrested ALL THE TIME for "wanting" to commit a crime. Again, your lack of experience and understanding are showing.

demartian
10-17-2007, 01:25 PM
Noooooooo he does not have mental issue, love is ageless seriously. he isnt doing anything with me. even if he wanted to people cant get arrested for "wanting" to commit a crime

In the case of pedophiles, yes, they CAN be arrested for wanting to commit a crime.

Have you two ever spoken online?

Has he ever mentioned to you that some day you could do more than just talk together?

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 01:26 PM
Dont even think about calling me stupid...and who says an adult male cant be friends with a female child? i think ur lack of understanding is showing

moburkes
10-17-2007, 01:30 PM
Dont even think about calling me stupid...and who says an adult male cant be friends with a female child? i think ur lack of understanding is showing

The law says that this man could go to jail if he says one wrong word, or does one wrong thing. As it should.

I was 13, and my brother had a friend that I had a crush on. He knew it, he encouraged it.

Don't think we haven't been there.

Heck, I was 17 when my mom's friend "butted in" and had exhaustive conversations about a guy I liked. That's what adults do. They protect children from the bad people. This guy is a bad, perverted person.

I don't blame you, you're a child. I never said you were stupid. He certainly is. You don't have enough experience to realize that the person you "LOVE" so much is a predator. He's doing his preying very well. I hope he screws up and gets caught.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 01:32 PM
I went to him, i said "i love you first" its not his fault we love each other, its not wrong to love someone, just to have sex with a minor which he isnt

moburkes
10-17-2007, 01:39 PM
I went to him, i said "i love you first" its not his fault we love each other, its not wrong to love someone, just to have sex with a minor which he isnt

It is wrong to consider a relationship with a child. Period. While you may disagree, the law, and the rest of us with common sense, don't agree.

If you're so adamant, change the law. Lobby. That way you'll be able to show just how mature you are.

And, no, it doesn't have to be sex in order for it to be wrong. I don't know how many times you need to be told the same thing.

Every time you answer, you look like an immature 13 year old, which you should look like - since that's what you are.

Every time you defend him, it shows his mental problems. We're not making fun on him. We're saying that he has a serious mental problem that needs to be addressed, before it lands him in jail.

And, when you turn 16, and no longer appear to him like a child, he will leave you alone, and start preying on the next child.

You don't fall in love with a child. Its not normal. It is considered devient behavior.

And, when you're communicating with adults that you're trying to impress with your knowledge and maturity level, then you talk like they do - not in IM speak.

In any case, your questions were answered.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 01:45 PM
When i am 16 he will not grow tired of me. He loves me not my body. I dont know how many times you have to be told the same thing. He doesnt pray on children, he doesnt. He has been with adults, has a child with an adult. My age has nothing to do with him loving me. He doesnt want to love me, because he thinks he is a pedafile but he realize he's not doing anything illegal with me. He has never brought up the subject of sex with me. He isnt checking me out and wishing he was in my pants, no he loves me. love and lust are very different. he doesnt lust for me, he loves me.

cbg
10-17-2007, 02:04 PM
If he is entertaining such feeling for you, then he is a pedophile whether he acts on them or not. If he were not a pedophile then he would not, at 27, be romantically interested in a 13 year old.

On the other hand, if he is, as you insist, not a pedophile, then it also follows that he has no romantic interest in you. It's one or the other, little girl.

Either he is romantically interested in you, which automatically and by definition makes him a pedophile even if he never lays a finger on you, or he is not a pedophile and therefore, also by definition, he is not romantically interested in children.

With the age difference we have here, there are NO other options. It's one or the other.

I know you don't believe me. I don't expect you to believe me. But that is the truth, and no amount of arguing on your part is going to make it untrue.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 02:12 PM
OK well he is a pedafile by ur terms, not mine b/c he's not romantically interested in children, but this child >.<

cyjeff
10-17-2007, 02:22 PM
Let me try to state this in another way.

If you had a friend that told you she wanted to find out if she could have sex with a golden retreiver, would it matter if they were really really in love?

No, because having sex with dogs is wrong. Anyone that wants to have sex with a dog needs help.

Believe it or not, when you mature into an adult, your mind works the same way and how you feel about very young children (and you are one) changes. In other words, he should have as much romantic interest in you as your ****er spaniel.

However, this is apparently not the case. If he does have feelings for you, something inside him is wrong....not because you aren't a good person, but because the switch inside him that should prevent him from looking romantically at children isn't thrown.

The law doesn't care how much you love him or him you. The law doesn't care that you are "soulmates", whatever the heck that means (by the way, no one over the age of 15 uses the word soulmate with anything other than humor).

You started this thread by asking when you could have sex. You and your adult lover are stepping out on very thin ice. People have gone to prison just IM'ing about sex. Don't believe me? Check out NBC's "To catch a predator" series... it is all about older men chatting to "children" online about sex and then meeting up with them.

Just talking to you could send him to prison, have him lose custody of his son, and have him branded a sex offender for the rest of his life. If you truly love him, don't talk to him again until you are 18.

cyjeff
10-17-2007, 02:24 PM
OK well he is a pedafile by ur terms, not mine b/c he's not romantically interested in children, but this child >.<

I think it is better said that he is a pedophile to everyone BUT you.

mommyof4
10-17-2007, 02:25 PM
Okay, everybody...

Reading what she is NOT writing...

She has a crush on the older man. He doesn't want to break her heart, so he is letting her down gently.

He has no desire to be in a relationship with a 13 year old child, but he is just too kind (and maybe a little flattered) to completely break this child's heart.

OP, if you keep after him (especially as he has told you that it is NOT going to happen) he should seriously consider getting a restraining order against you.

Have any of you ever seen the movie "Poison Ivy"? ;)

cbg
10-17-2007, 02:37 PM
Which is why what I included what I did in my last post.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 02:39 PM
Maybe ur right...maybe he doesnt love me. but oh well i love him

JulieBean
10-17-2007, 02:51 PM
and in 10 years you'll realize how ludicrous your feelings were when you were 13.

Save yourself now and act your age. Love should be the furthest thing from your mind right now.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 02:55 PM
I feel older than i am, always have. I dont think like a normal 13 year old, nor do i want to. i can love now

mommyof4
10-17-2007, 03:13 PM
I feel older than i am, always have. I dont think like a normal 13 year old, nor do i want to. i can love now

I just have to giggle. Yes, sweetie, you DO think like a normal 13 year old. Every emotion you feel is intesified. That IS normal. :)

It's called puberty and adolesence.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 03:15 PM
people, i am not going to do anything with him, maybe not ever so lets not freak out please

mommyof4
10-17-2007, 03:27 PM
The only one 'freaking out' is you when you are told that you are a typical 13 year old child.

You prove my point.:rolleyes:

moburkes
10-17-2007, 04:48 PM
The only one 'freaking out' is you when you are told that you are a typical 13 year old child.

You prove my point.:rolleyes:

She's been proving mine since she opened her mouth. Especially when she immaturely attempts to change the legal definition of a word.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 05:19 PM
I am a lot of thing, immature is not one of them

moburkes
10-17-2007, 05:27 PM
I am a lot of thing, immature is not one of them

You're immature by definition. All 13 year olds are. Hon, you can't balance a checkbook, open a bank account, babysit another child (in most states), stay home alone overnight by yourself, enter into most contracts, make a decision about LOVE, miss school without permission from your parents, get a credit card, buy an insurance policy, UNDERSTAND an insurance policy, or make major life decisions. That's why you're barely a teenager, let alone thinking that you're "more of an adult" than an adult.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 05:28 PM
You dont know me. So dont even begin to say that im immature. For your information i bet i could do all those things if i wanted. I never intended for this to be a debate at his sanity, or my maturity i only had a simple question i needed an answer to.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 05:32 PM
Ok lets put it this way shall we...if was 16 and he was 30 would it be legal for him to hug me. kiss me. have sex ect.?

moburkes
10-17-2007, 05:55 PM
Ok lets put it this way shall we...if was 16 and he was 30 would it be legal for him to hug me. kiss me. have sex ect.?

Yes, and I already answered that question for you. HOWEVER, your parents rule override that law.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 05:55 PM
I really dont care what my parents think. they never did anything for me

moburkes
10-17-2007, 06:03 PM
You dont know me. So dont even begin to say that im immature. For your information i bet i could do all those things if i wanted. I never intended for this to be a debate at his sanity, or my maturity i only had a simple question i needed an answer to.

immature
adj

1. Not fully grown or developed; not mature or ripe.
2. Not fully developed emotionally or intellectually and therefore childish.

Thesaurus: inexperienced, green, juvenile, adolescent, childish, infantile, undeveloped, unripe, young, wet behind the ears; Antonym: mature, adult.
Derivative: immaturely
adverb

Derivative: immaturity
noun

The state of being undeveloped or childishThesaurus: inexperience, imperfection, incompleteness, callowness, adolescence, youth, infancy.
Etymology: 16c: from Latin immaturus; see mature.


YOU ARE A CHILD. YOu seem to not get that. No matter what you believe in your brain or your heart YOU ARE A CHILD. Your thoughts and feelings are immature. The person who considers himself a man has the SAME IMMATURE thoughts - which means that he has a mental problem. An undiagnosed mental problem.

Considering that, while you keep denying the sexual aspects of your relationship, you haven't stopped asking about sex. That shows your immaturity, whether you'd like to believe it or not.

See, if you'll take a step back and look at this conversation objectively, ALL of your responses say "While I heard you, I don't like your responses, nor do I care what the law says, because I'm smarter than you all, so there." That is NOT mature, no matter how many times that you say it is.

moburkes
10-17-2007, 06:05 PM
I really dont care what my parents think. they never did anything for me

They are not required to. In any case, that response shows immaturity. I've done a LOT for you. I've explained the laws, explained why, explained, explained, explained. And you don't care what I think, either.

Will you at least consider the fact that the responses that you type are the responses of a CHILD. Mature adults don't speak like you do. Mature adults say, "I understand. Thank you for your assistance. Thank you for explaining this to me. Thank you for trying to help me. I need to think about a lot of things that I never considered before. Thank you."

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 06:06 PM
grrr im curious for the future, so i dont get him or myself in trouble

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 06:08 PM
the point is, im trying to obey the law! thats why i want to know what the law is...now u get it?

FlyinHawk
10-17-2007, 06:08 PM
If you are really 13, why were you not in school today?

You posted this at like 3:30am, and then you fought back with posts nearly not stop from 1:30pm-8pm.

I had school today, why didn't you?

moburkes
10-17-2007, 06:10 PM
grrr im curious for the future, so i dont get him or myself in trouble

But, I've already answered your sex question, so why the need to post it again? Since sex is NOT even on your mind?:confused:

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 06:10 PM
im suspended from school, some girl hit me and we ended up fighting but its irrelvant

moburkes
10-17-2007, 06:11 PM
im suspended from school, some girl hit me and we ended up fighting but its irrelvant

No its not. Again, immature.

Madlyinlove
10-17-2007, 06:13 PM
ok...well now that my question is answered i wont ask again

Baystategirl
10-17-2007, 06:17 PM
Has any of the Moderators check this to see if it's Kelly...??

moburkes
10-17-2007, 06:18 PM
Has any of the Moderators check this to see if it's Kelly...??

Gosh, for HER sake, I hope that it is a joke.

demartian
10-17-2007, 06:23 PM
Has any of the Moderators check this to see if it's Kelly...??

Not the original, but we could have picked up a Kelly 2.0

Baystategirl
10-17-2007, 06:29 PM
Not the original, but we could have picked up a Kelly 2.0

LOL!!!

:p

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 12:28 AM
*sigh* this isnt a joke, and that girl called me a ***** and grabbed my breast if ur so concerned. so i kicked her to make her stop! I am not immature i was being harrassed.

cbg
10-18-2007, 12:31 AM
Yes, you can. That doesn't mean that the love will last.

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 12:36 AM
If it doesnt last, i learned my lesson the hard way now didnt i? im not saying it will last im just saying he is my soulmate...so chances are it will

cyjeff
10-18-2007, 12:37 AM
I feel older than i am, always have. I dont think like a normal 13 year old, nor do i want to. i can love now

I am not trying to pick on you, but how do you know what feeling older feels like?

So many kids post here saying that they are very old for their age... but that is like me saying I am very much like an ocelot.

That would be silly, because I have no idea what an ocelot feels like... and you have no idea what it means to be mature.

Be a kid. That is your job. You will spend 80% of your life as an adult... enjoy this time for what it is.

cyjeff
10-18-2007, 12:43 AM
Maybe ur right...maybe he doesnt love me. but oh well i love him

And here it is.

We went through all this for a "maybe he doesn't love me"?

Not to be harsh... but why would you waste all of our time for a maybe kinda sorta.

Has the older person, even once, said he loved you and wanted to have sex with you. Not hinted, not smiled, not nodded... but said it?

13 year old girls read an awful lot into innocent gestures... what has he actually said?

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 12:43 AM
Everyone tells me I act older than i am. It doesnt matter either way, a 13 year old can be in love and thats that.

cyjeff
10-18-2007, 12:46 AM
Everyone tells me I act older than i am. It doesnt matter either way, a 13 year old can be in love and thats that.

"That's that"?

What kind of garbage is that? Is that your way of telling us - people you asked for help, no less - that we should just believe you without debate? That you have decided the truth?

13 year old brains cannot fathom a great many things... including love. Right now, "love" for you is mostly a hormonal trigger. It feels strong because it is. We have all lived through the carbonating hormonal stage.

Luckily, it is temporary.

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 12:53 AM
" i hate that I love you because your so young but the truth is i love u very much and id die for you if i had to" is this clear enough of his feelings? And for the matter of sex...i have brought up the subject he hasnt. That isnt the point i just had a question, is all.

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 12:53 AM
" i hate that I love you because your so young but the truth is i love u very much and id die for you if i had to" is this clear enough of his feelings? And for the matter of sex...i have brought up the subject he hasnt. That isnt the point i just had a question, is all.

FlyinHawk
10-18-2007, 12:57 AM
When I was 14 I had a big big BIG crush on my psychology teacher. I think the main reason I almost failed such a class was because I spent a majority of my time gazing out the window thinking about how nice it would be if we were to Profess our loves to each other.

Needless to say none of that ever happened, and now at 16 I look back at myself and laugh.

It was nothing more than a crush, it happens especially when you're young like this. And you will indefinitely fight anyone who believes that you know nothing of what you are feeling. Disagreeing at this point will get none of us anywhere here. You will have to use this experience to learn on it, or laugh as I did.

At 16 now, I am currently not dating anyone and do not plan on it. I have seen a few friends get extremely wrapped up in relationships and loose control of their lives because they strongly felt it was "love" and not just a crush or a fling. Another reason I do not date now is because I am not sure who I am exactly yet, and to bring someone else into my life would get it confusing. Or troublesome.

You may say you act older than you are, and people may even agree with you but you really don't realize how much you have more to grow. At a teenage age you really do not have the knowledge nor the wisdom to pursue such a serious relationship with anyone of any age.

But to want to pursue someone who is much much older than you is not only going to lead you towards a crooked path of problems that will still linger long after you two break up (which you will) but it could also pose possible criminal charges against the other person involved.

In the end these things are just not worth it, let go of this crush and let yourself grow and learn to love who you are, and learn who you are before you dive completely into something of this seriousness.

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 12:59 AM
we can't even be in a relationship yet. neither of us want to until it's legal "in case" something happens. thats the whole point of this thread. neither of us want to be together until its legal

cbg
10-18-2007, 01:52 AM
It's not.

And it's another indication of your immaturity that you are unable to recognize this truth: We have all been teenagers, and know what that feels like. You, on the other hand, have never been a adult and do not know what it feels like.

And now you're posting things that make me want to define pedophile for you again.

cyjeff
10-18-2007, 02:49 AM
" i hate that I love you because your so young but the truth is i love u very much and id die for you if i had to" is this clear enough of his feelings? And for the matter of sex...i have brought up the subject he hasnt. That isnt the point i just had a question, is all.

Color me confused.

Did you not also post...


Maybe ur right...maybe he doesnt love me. but oh well i love him

Ya know, if you tell the truth it is much easier to keep your story straight.

Either way, doesn't matter.

You are a kid. He is an adult. Just talking to you about having sex, even if you bring it up, is enough to have him brought up on charges of corruption of a minor.

I don't care if your love inspires shooting stars, the spontaneous birth of unicorns and can change used motor oil into root beer. The law doesn't care.

Being in love is not an affirmative defense to child molestation, child abuse and/or corruption of a minor and statutory rape.

moburkes
10-18-2007, 05:16 AM
OT: FlyinHawk, you have accurately presented a mature response from a teenager. Thank you.

JulieBean
10-18-2007, 06:32 AM
Agree with moburkes: FlyinHawk, good response.

I'll go ahead and bring up a topic no one has yet. You keep asking about when it is legal to have sex and all that. Well, let's just say your ravaging "love" for each other can handle no more and you break down and have sex. Picture yourself pregnant. Great, now you're 14, pregnant, and the father goes to jail because he just raped a girl and got her pregnant.

What happens to the child? It will grow up mostly not knowing his/her dad because he's in prison for 15 years.

What happens to you? No more school, you've got a kid to take care of! And trust me, it's not like playing house... You'll be elbow deep in poop, with a crying baby, and no one to help you because apparently your parents never did anything for you.

That does not sound like fun to me. But then again, what do I know? I'm just an adult...

demartian
10-18-2007, 08:20 AM
OT: FlyinHawk, you have accurately presented a mature response from a teenager. Thank you.

I agree too. Well written, cool headed, thought out, now that is a mature response from a teenager.

I've often realized that how a person speaks online is a TRUE interpretation of themselves since they are usually held back in real life by not being anonymous.

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 10:13 AM
Im not going to crack and have sex. HE wouldnt do that, i could do anything to turn him on if i was under age, he wouldnt touch me. I dont plan on getting pregnant anytime soon either so...there is no way im doing anything now.

JulieBean
10-18-2007, 10:58 AM
I hate to tell you this, but just because you're not planning to get pregnant doesn't mean it won't happen. In fact, I'm sure most teenage mothers never "planned" to be pregnant...

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 10:59 AM
I dont plan on having sex until im 18...or older iono i do have values...

mommyof4
10-18-2007, 11:03 AM
I dont plan on having sex until im 18...or older iono i do have values...
Good.

Then you should have no issue with recognizing that an adult (who has a child, no less) even entertaining the thought of a relationship with a child is morally, ethically, and legally wrong.

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 11:04 AM
Ummm...ive realized it all along, i told u neither of us want a relationship until im old enough. right now we just recognize we love each other, for our souls

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 11:06 AM
It is wrong to have a relationship (dating, sexually...ect.) between an adult and a child, i was asking for wen i was an adult not now!

cbg
10-18-2007, 11:08 AM
Then why have you been so concerned about the legalities behind having sex when you are younger?

Please pay attention. I am going to tell you exactly what the law says.

Whether you agree or not, no matter how old you think you are or how adult you feel, legally you are a child.

A child cannot legally have sex. A child cannot legally consent to sex.

An adult cannot legally have sex with a child. An adult cannot legally even talk to a child about how much he wishes he could or how nice it will be when they can.

If this 27 year old you profess to love so much even hints that when you are old enough he would like to have sex with you, he has committed a crime for which he can go to jail for several years.

If you love him as much as you say you do, you will keep the hell away from him. You will not tell him how much you love him, you will not be alone with him, you will not do anything that will put him in a situation where he could be accused of saying or doing anything that is even remotely sexual with or to you. And that means far, far more thansexual intercourse. Even a kiss could do it. And that means even if someone thinks he said or did something. Even if they are wrong.

If you continue talking to him about how much you love him, you could conceivably be the means of ruining his entire life.

This is true regardless of how unfair you think it is.

JulieBean
10-18-2007, 11:11 AM
Good for you. If you can make that a reality, I will commend you in 5 years.

I've read a couple of your other threads and there's seems to be something that is eluding you. You seem to completely ignore the fact that we've all been your age at one point or another. We know what it's like to "think" we're in love, only to find out later that it was all just, as others would say, the rose-colored glasses we were looking through.

The simple facts are that yes, someone that is 27 years old could love a 13-year old. Is that right? NO. Just because it's possible doesn't make it right. In his 27 years, he's retained a drivers license, smoked cigarettes, voted for the countries leaders, legally drank beer, likely has had several different full time jobs and has experienced at least some kind of responsibility in his life. The fact that he is attracted to someone 14 years younger than him that has NEVER been able to do any of these things and is still learning basic geometry and world history is VERY disturbing. What could you two possibly have in common? When you're 25 and he's 39 I would be very very surprised if you two even still talk to each other. You have so much more growing to do and you need to figure out who you are yet. And there's no way you will grow enough in 5 measly years to possibly know who you are. I'm still trying to figure myself out. :p

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 11:25 AM
all i stated was that you could love an older or younger person. and i also mentioned that is was illegal

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 11:25 AM
We have lots in common. That isnt the point he and i have been friends for 3 years, we will still be friends in another 5. ur right in this "if" we still love each other than maybe we will be more than good friends but right now its completley illegal and wrong, i get that

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 11:27 AM
i was people understood =(

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 11:27 AM
i wish people understood =(

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 11:27 AM
i wish people understood =(

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 11:29 AM
see soe of the people that you want to help you understand things are just telling you its WRONG. it is in some ways but they should try to understand where you are coming from. we don't even know the whole situation.

moburkes
10-18-2007, 11:29 AM
i wish people understood =(

How many times have we told you that we were your age once? How many? What do you want us to understand, besides the fact that this "man" is a sick pedofile who needs medical attention.

cbg
10-18-2007, 11:30 AM
We do. You're the one who doesn't.

We have all been 13. We have all had a crush on someone, and usually someone older.

You're the one who isn't old enough to have experienced what we're talking about.

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 11:30 AM
cyjeff....u were the ones who said he doesnt love me i was just open to the possability that he was lying when he said that. but i know that he was not

moburkes
10-18-2007, 11:30 AM
see soe of the people that you want to help you understand things are just telling you its WRONG. it is in some ways but they should try to understand where you are coming from. we don't even know the whole situation.

We don't need to. This is a black and white issue. There is no gray here. It is 100% wrong. Period.

cbg
10-18-2007, 11:30 AM
Miltowngirl, read my post above this one. The same goes for you, sweetie.

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 11:33 AM
No no, i see exactly where your coming from. Im just saying that I know how i feel and there is nothing that say i am not different. Just because your "crushes" didnt last, who says mine wont? I am not you or anyone else here i am me. If it doesnt last why are we even debating because then him and I wont have sex?

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 11:35 AM
Miltowngirl, read my post above this one. The same goes for you, sweetie.


i get what you're saying but if he is not rushing her into anything, trying to abuse his adult authority figure and he tells her he loves her and she can tell he's being honest then its ok in a sense they have feelings for each other. i never said they should act on it now. i told her to wait and she said she is planning on waiting until they are legal for each other.

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 11:37 AM
Agree with you completley miltowngirl. He isnt rushing me into anything, and so what if he is wrong for loving me? Crazy or not i love him. if i have to repeat myself one more time that a person any age can love another person any age ill have to kill myself -.-

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 11:38 AM
Not act on there love either, just have feelings for another person and keep it non sexual

moburkes
10-18-2007, 11:40 AM
i get what you're saying but if he is not rushing her into anything, trying to abuse his adult authority figure and he tells her he loves her and she can tell he's being honest then its ok in a sense they have feelings for each other. i never said they should act on it now. i told her to wait and she said she is planning on waiting until they are legal for each other.

He IS abusing his adult authority figure. What part of that is difficult to understand?

The conversations that he is currently having are enough to get the authorities to start investigating their relationship, and enough for them to look at terminating his ability to interect with his own child.

Does that make it ANY CLEARER?

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 11:41 AM
don't say that.

its their fault they don't understand.

we never said that the were never our ages but crushes don't just happen in teens. 30 year olds have crushes on people way older and way younger than them. so if they can have crushes at their age then we can fall in love at our age

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 11:42 AM
Does the law say he is not allowed to say he loves me? He isnt having an inappropriate relations with me, be it words or physically. he legally isnt doing anything wrong. He legally is allowed to "love" whoever he wants just not make love...

mommyof4
10-18-2007, 11:43 AM
Excuse me? The OP and this adult male have been 'friends' for the past 3 years??? That means that a 24 year old male was 'friends' with a 10 year old girl (possibly 9)?

Let me tell you how I have handled a situation involving my 8 year old. We were having a party (football game) and one of my husband's customers came into my house (he was 26) and told my 8 year old, "****, you're hot".

I immediately kicked his *****y butt out of my house and then I called the cops.

Miltown, you fail to understand the point that it doesn't MATTER what every little detail is. All that matters is that ANY type of conversation that could be categorized as sexual, hopeful, anticipatory, etc. of when they can legally be together is ILLEGAL.

JulieBean
10-18-2007, 11:43 AM
If he says he loves you, yes he's looking at jail time.

Just out of curiosity, how old is his child?

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 11:43 AM
don't say that.

its their fault they don't understand.

we never said that the were never our ages but crushes don't just happen in teens. 30 year olds have crushes on people way older and way younger than them. so if they can have crushes at their age then we can fall in love at our age

That makes perfect sense, at least someone understand -.-. I agree with some of what ur saying guys but...if neither of us are acting on our love why are we questioning his sanity?

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 11:44 AM
but what if they do not go public with their conversations?

they are not actting on anything now. so it just talking. her friends do not even know so how will the authorities know they are talking?

JulieBean
10-18-2007, 11:45 AM
Excuse me? The OP and this adult male have been 'friends' for the past 3 years??? That means that a 24 year old male was 'friends' with a 10 year old girl (possibly 9)?

Ugh... I didn't catch that the first time. That just makes this a whole new level of sick and wrong.

That would be like me telling a 10 year old boy I love him.... :eek:

mommyof4
10-18-2007, 11:45 AM
don't say that.

its their fault they don't understand.

we never said that the were never our ages but crushes don't just happen in teens. 30 year olds have crushes on people way older and way younger than them. so if they can have crushes at their age then we can fall in love at our age

If that love is anything OTHER than a sibling type of love or an adult/child RELATIVE type of love, yes, it is illegal. Read my above response on type of conversations that are forbidden. With everything that you have posted, IF what you state is fact without any spin or wishful thinking on your part, he's already skating over the line of legality.

cbg
10-18-2007, 11:45 AM
No, it's not okay. At least not on his part. But I don't expect you to understand why until you are considerably older.

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 11:46 AM
His son is 3

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 11:46 AM
Excuse me? The OP and this adult male have been 'friends' for the past 3 years??? That means that a 24 year old male was 'friends' with a 10 year old girl (possibly 9)?

Let me tell you how I have handled a situation involving my 8 year old. We were having a party (football game) and one of my husband's customers came into my house (he was 26) and told my 8 year old, "****, you're hot".

I immediately kicked his *****y butt out of my house and then I called the cops.

Miltown, you fail to understand the point that it doesn't MATTER what every little detail is. All that matters is that ANY type of conversation that could be categorized as sexual, hopeful, anticipatory, etc. of when they can legally be together is ILLEGAL.

you failed to undertand or acknowledge the full concept of what is her situation

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 11:47 AM
No, it's not okay. At least not on his part. But I don't expect you to understand why until you are considerably older.

no disrespect to you but just because she is younger doesn't mean she doesn't understand

milspecgirl
10-18-2007, 11:48 AM
" i hate that I love you because your so young but the truth is i love u very much and id die for you if i had to" is this clear enough of his feelings? And for the matter of sex...i have brought up the subject he hasnt. That isnt the point i just had a question, is all.


and that is enough to get him put in jail. end of discussion. even if YOU are the one who brings up the discussion. Unless he covers his ears, runs screaming, and tells you that he can never feel that way about you and doesn't- he has committed a CRIME!!!!!!
just by talking to him and engaging him in any kind of talk of love or sex or how you would like to kiss him- YOU have caused him to commit a FELONY! YOU will be the reason he goes to jail.

If you love him SOOOOO much, you need to stay away from him. Your professions of love to him or even bringing up the word sex to him and his reaction of not being disgusted and telling you that he could never feel that way is a CRIME!
Children profess their crushes to adults all of the time and the reason those adults don't go to jail is because they explain to the child that they could never have that kind of relationship, that it will never happen. They are not attracted to the child, and that it is wrong. ANY OTHER answer- even, I love you, but we have to wait until you're legal- is a crime.

Is that plain enough for you?

JulieBean
10-18-2007, 11:48 AM
His son is 3

So... he started befriending you (when you were 10 yrs old) right around the same time is son was born??

Another curiosity question: how old is his child's mother?

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 11:48 AM
What makes a 27 year old loving a 13 year old any different than a 32 year old loving an 18 year old?

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 11:49 AM
it was me who wanted to be his friend and yes, i was 10. His son's mom was 21 then he was 24

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 11:50 AM
look it this way.


you meet a woman thats 24 years old and your 33 years old.

you fall in love, marry, have children.

if you would have met her when you were 20 years old the woman would have been 11 years old. just because your over a certain age should make it anymore legal than at a younger age.

arguing between us all isn't going to help madly

JulieBean
10-18-2007, 11:51 AM
What makes a 27 year old loving a 13 year old any different than a 32 year old loving an 18 year old?

Trust me, in that 5 years, you will change so much you won't even understand why you were the way you were when you were 13.

And in another 5 years you'll change so much that you won't believe how stupid you were when you were 18.

You are still in the growing and learning process....

moburkes
10-18-2007, 11:52 AM
you failed to undertand or acknowledge the full concept of what is her situation

That's interesting how every single person that has posted here, besides yourself, who has your own disfunctional upbringing (not to be rude) is wrong and doesn't understand.

The FULL CONCEPT is that this "man" has a mental problem. The full extent is that you are ENCOURAGING an ILLEGAL relationship. Period. There are NO OTHERS ANSWERS. She could write a book about it. The law won't change.

The FULL CONCEPT is that 13 year olds aren't SUPPOSED to know what's right and wrong, but a 27 year old SHOULD.

The FULL CONCEPT is that at 13, hormones are raging, everyone goes through it. The majority of us get through it without believing in and encouraging a DYSFUNCTIONAL relationship (sorry that I've been misspelling the word :o ) that is becoming illegal.

The FULL CONCEPT is that he could lose his CHILD by continuing along this path.

The FULL CONCEPT is that she is a CHILD, regardless of how old she THINKS she is, and that she is playing with FIRE.

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 11:52 AM
Yup maybe i am in the growing process...doesnt mean i have to grow out of my love and nothing is set in stone saying i will

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 11:53 AM
Trust me, in that 5 years, you will change so much you won't even understand why you were the way you were when you were 13.

And in another 5 years you'll change so much that you won't believe how stupid you were when you were 18.

You are still in the growing and learning process....

we are still growing and processing but we don't lose all our senses and thoughts we had at a younger age.

moburkes
10-18-2007, 11:53 AM
look it this way.


you meet a woman thats 24 years old and your 33 years old.

you fall in love, marry, have children.

if you would have met her when you were 20 years old the woman would have been 11 years old. just because your over a certain age should make it anymore legal than at a younger age.

arguing between us all isn't going to help madly

The difference is that you don't go to jail for having these conversations with a 24 year old.

mommyof4
10-18-2007, 11:53 AM
you failed to undertand or acknowledge the full concept of what is her situation

No, I do not.

We have already acknowledged that it is normal and natural to have a crush. It is NOT normal or natural for that adult crush to return the sentiment AND discuss his 'feelings' with the child. (unless of course, abnormal normal and unnatural natural is a regular state of being for the man because he is a pedophile.)

You fail to understand or acknowledge the fact that any conversation or contact he has with her that even remotely hints at romance (even if they are talking about the future) is ILLEGAL.

There is no argument, persuasion, reason, plea, debate.....

It is ILLEGAL. I think her mother needs to be let in on this 'soul mate' situation.

Stop telling the child it is okay. It's not. Wait, what am I saying? YOU are a child who has a host of issues of her own.

JulieBean
10-18-2007, 11:54 AM
look it this way.


you meet a woman thats 24 years old and your 33 years old.

you fall in love, marry, have children.

if you would have met her when you were 20 years old the woman would have been 11 years old. just because your over a certain age should make it anymore legal than at a younger age.

arguing between us all isn't going to help madly

What YOU don't seem to understand is all of the life changes you go through when you're an adolescent. Your brain isn't even stable enough to handle all of your hormones!

There are laws to protect minors for a reason. Is it that hard to understand?? A bunch of adults didn't just get together one day and say "hey, lets make the lives of kids pure hell by telling them they can't have sex with someone 15 years older than them!" Society's not stupid. They make laws to PROTECT you!

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 11:54 AM
Im not going to risk him going to jail and losing his son. We arnt going to do anything to get caught saying we love each other and or have sex until the law cant tell me who i can and can not ****

milspecgirl
10-18-2007, 11:54 AM
look it this way.


you meet a woman thats 24 years old and your 33 years old.

you fall in love, marry, have children.

if you would have met her when you were 20 years old the woman would have been 11 years old. just because your over a certain age should make it anymore legal than at a younger age.

arguing between us all isn't going to help madly


because it is a PROVEN FACT that your brain is not able to fully comprehend the emotions, reasoning, logic, etc involved in this type of relationship. So, therefore the brain you are using is NOT the same brain at 11 as it is at 24. It is not capable of making those decisions.

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 11:55 AM
That's interesting how every single person that has posted here, besides yourself, who has your own disfunctional upbringing (not to be rude) is wrong and doesn't understand.

The FULL CONCEPT is that this "man" has a mental problem. The full extent is that you are ENCOURAGING an ILLEGAL relationship. Period. There are NO OTHERS ANSWERS. She could write a book about it. The law won't change.

The FULL CONCEPT is that 13 year olds aren't SUPPOSED to know what's right and wrong, but a 27 year old SHOULD.

The FULL CONCEPT is that at 13, hormones are raging, everyone goes through it. The majority of us get through it without believing in and encouraging a DYSFUNCTIONAL relationship (sorry that I've been misspelling the word :o ) that is becoming illegal.

The FULL CONCEPT is that he could lose his CHILD by continuing along this path.

The FULL CONCEPT is that she is a CHILD, regardless of how old she THINKS she is, and that she is playing with FIRE.

she is not playing with fire. must i remind you she is waiting until she is old enough to be with him to committ to each other. in that time they can see if they want to continue there relations after she is an appropriate age.

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 11:56 AM
Never did i once say i was going to engage in anything sexual while im still underage

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 11:56 AM
The difference is that you don't go to jail for having these conversations with a 24 year old.

see its a law that makes it wrong, not god, not your, not your partner

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 11:57 AM
Never did i once say i was going to engage in anything sexual while im still underage

exactly but because you are young you are not mature enough to think about that. well, at least that's what they think

JulieBean
10-18-2007, 11:59 AM
we are still growing and processing but we don't lose all our senses and thoughts we had at a younger age.

So you're saying you'll feel the same way about everything 10 years from now simploy because of how you felt 10 years earlier?

I hope we don't lose our sense... Don't know what I'd do without my five!

What kind of thoughts? I used to think smoking was cool. Now I know how stupid that was. I used to think I had to wear makeup to make guys think I was cute. Now I know that was also stupid.

Trust me, the way you think now will change completely as you grow older.

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 11:59 AM
I plan for the future and live for today. Im not gonna break the law and its lucky for me i dont know any of you or you would have him locked up for no reason.

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:01 PM
So you're saying you'll feel the same way about everything 10 years from now simploy because of how you felt 10 years earlier?

I hope we don't lose our sense... Don't know what I'd do without my five!

What kind of thoughts? I used to think smoking was cool. Now I know how stupid that was. I used to think I had to wear makeup to make guys think I was cute. Now I know that was also stupid.

Trust me, the way you think now will change completely as you grow older.

only some young adults think doing certain things are cool or do things to be with a certain group. but not all of them. you don't fully think or feel the same way but not everything changes. especially if you DO love someone.

JulieBean
10-18-2007, 12:02 PM
I plan for the future and live for today. Im not gonna break the law and its lucky for me i dont know any of you or you would have him locked up for no reason.

For no reason? He has a 3 year old son and is telling a 13 year old he loves her!

This is especially chilling because he has a child of his own. Apparently those instincts haven't kicked in yet.

mommyof4
10-18-2007, 12:02 PM
she is not playing with fire. must i remind you she is waiting until she is old enough to be with him to committ to each other. in that time they can see if they want to continue there relations after she is an appropriate age.
Niether your nor any other teenager's brain is finished growing. That's right, Miltown....(and OP) you have a BIG BLANK GRAY MASS in the front of your brain that doesn't even have nerve synapses yet. It's just a big blob of jelly waiting to develop. That process won't be complete until you are about 25 years old.

I am trying to keep that scientifically proven fact in mind when I reply to you.

He has already committed a crime. What part of this do you NOT understand?

They CANNOT continue their relationship because 1) she has stated numerous times there IS no relationhsip (just encouraging and anticipatory talk), which is my basis for my belief that this may just be a crush and the delusional fantasies of a little girl....and 2) if there IS a relationship IT IS ILLEGAL. Not just judged sketchy by strangers...ILLEGAL.

cbg
10-18-2007, 12:02 PM
Madlyinlove and Miltowngirl:

Everyone here completely understands how Madly feels. No one is saying her feelings are not, for the moment, genuine.

What we are saying, and what you are evidently both too young to understand, is that her feelings do not make it okay. It is ILLEGAL for him to even hint that he might at some point reciprocate. That is not a matter of our "not understanding". That is a matter of THE LAW.

You claim you want to know what the law says, but then you go into this whole big angst thing if we don't agree that it's just a silly arbitrary ruling that is keeping Romeo and Juliet apart.

You are simply not old enough to accept, yet, that there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with a 27 year old man who has romantic feelings for a 13 year old.

And as to why it's okay when both of them are older, that's exactly why. BECAUSE they're older.

Neither of you believes this yet, but by the time it is legal for Madly to act on her feelings, she's going to be embarrassed that she ever looked at this guy. She's going to wonder what she ever saw in him and she's going to have the exact same feelings for someone else. That's because she's not going to be the same person in three years as she is now. Someone fifteen years older is not going to change that drastically.

Don't bother telling me otherwise. Come back in three years and tell me if I'm not right.

You both have Cinderella fantasies in mind and they simply have no basis in reality. That's not our "not understanding". That's the two of you being two silly little girls who are too young to understand what you think you have down pat. And that is not an insult, though I don't expect you to understand that either.

moburkes
10-18-2007, 12:03 PM
we are still growing and processing but we don't lose all our senses and thoughts we had at a younger age.
Yes, you do. When you're a baby, you drink formula or nurse. As you get older, you stop doing that. When you're a baby, you don't even know how to turn over, let alone scoot, crawl, walk and run. As you get older, you stop scooting around to get where you want to do. You've outgrown the necessity to use that method of "transportation". When you're in kindergarten, you're still taking naps in the middle of the day. By 13, you've stopped. You've outgrown the necessity. When you're 5, you can't stay home alone. By 13, you should be able to do so for several hours at a time. When you're a baby, you ONLY care about the people that take care of you - your caregivers. You don't realize that when you close your eyes, the world around you is still there. By 13, you've got friends outside of your immediate family that you talk to and see on a daily basis - they should be of similar ages.

Don't you think there is a reason why all the kids in kindergarten are about the same age? The kids on the soccer or little league team? The swim team? Etc?

Do you realize that over 70% of MARRIAGES (I'm talking COMMITTED RELATIONSHIPS her) where at least one person is a teenager fails? Why is that? They didn't have the maturity level nor the experience to make it work. They likely end within MONTHS of the marriage. And, those are LEGAL relationships.

Again, we've been there. We've done that. We didn't go from kindergarten to grandma's and skip all the middle parts.

JulieBean
10-18-2007, 12:04 PM
only some young adults think doing certain things are cool or do things to be with a certain group. but not all of them. you don't fully think or feel the same way but not everything changes. especially if you DO love someone.

THe problem is she is too young to know what REAL LOVE is! She goes back and forth from calling it love to calling it a crush. All the adults are calling it a crush because we call it as we see it, whereas all the young'ens that don't know any better call it love.

WHEN YOU'RE 13 YEARS OLD YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT LOVE IS. You do not have the mental capacity or the knowledge or the experience to even know what love looks like.

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 12:04 PM
these are not fantasies of a little girl, he does love me and i am just waiting until im old enough to actually be with him >.<

milspecgirl
10-18-2007, 12:06 PM
she is not playing with fire. must i remind you she is waiting until she is old enough to be with him to committ to each other. in that time they can see if they want to continue there relations after she is an appropriate age.



OK- 1 last time- just having the conversations with him is enough to get him thrown in jail. do you not get that? just because they aren't physically doing anything means NOTHING- just talking about their love can get him up close and personal with Bubba in a JAIL CELL

and just because you are trying to hide it means nothing- people aren't stupid. they will notice the dreamy eyes, the stares, etc, and WHEN (not if) you all get caught, I hope you can explain to his child why daddy can never see him again

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:06 PM
Madlyinlove and Miltowngirl:

Everyone here completely understands how Madly feels. No one is saying her feelings are not, for the moment, genuine.

What we are saying, and what you are evidently both too young to understand, is that her feelings do not make it okay. It is ILLEGAL for him to even hint that he might at some point reciprocate. That is not a matter of our "not understanding". That is a matter of THE LAW.

You claim you want to know what the law says, but then you go into this whole big angst thing if we don't agree that it's just a silly arbitrary ruling that is keeping Romeo and Juliet apart.

You are simply not old enough to accept, yet, that there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with a 27 year old man who has romantic feelings for a 13 year old.

And as to why it's okay when both of them are older, that's exactly why. BECAUSE they're older.

Neither of you believes this yet, but by the time it is legal for Madly to act on her feelings, she's going to be embarrassed that she ever looked at this guy. She's going to wonder what she ever saw in him and she's going to have the exact same feelings for someone else. That's because she's not going to be the same person in three years as she is now. Someone fifteen years older is not going to change that drastically.

Don't bother telling me otherwise. Come back in three years and tell me if I'm not right.

You both have Cinderella fantasies in mind and they simply have no basis in reality. That's not our "not understanding". That's the two of you being two silly little girls who are too young to understand what you think you have down pat. And that is not an insult, though I don't expect you to understand that either.


being young or old has nothing to do with being able to comprehend something. we have feelings. some are the same as you feel some are different. but they are feelings. when you are in love you can tell. looking at that person gives you a feeling of warmth and protection. thinking about him/her just gives you chills. knowing that its not just some crush, that you want to be with this person as long as you can, hoping nothing will separate you from them. that's love. we feel it. you feel it. even at your ages your brains are fully developed. i don't care about science. it can't tell me whether i can love or not or if my feelings are true. my heart can and the person i love is there to remind me everyday.

cbg
10-18-2007, 12:07 PM
If she is even talking to him, then yes, she is playing with fire.

The only safe action for her to take is to NEVER be alone with him, NEVER to talk privately to him, and NEVER to tell him how she feels about him again. Not for a minimum of three years. By which time she will have forgotten all about him, at least romantically, and will be in love with someone else.

I'll tell you something else that neither of you is going to believe. By the time she is old enough to legally have sex, this guy is going to have no interest in her whatsoever, no matter what he may claim now. If he has said to her what she claims, with no spin and no wishful thinking, then her attraction to him is her age. When she is old enough to be legal, he's not going to be interested because she won't be thirteen any more.

And that, ladies, is why he is a pedophile. If, indeed, he said what Madly claims.

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:08 PM
OK- 1 last time- just having the conversations with him is enough to get him thrown in jail. do you not get that? just because they aren't physically doing anything means NOTHING- just talking about their love can get him up close and personal with Bubba in a JAIL CELL

and just because you are trying to hide it means nothing- people aren't stupid. they will notice the dreamy eyes, the stares, etc, and WHEN (not if) you all get caught, I hope you can explain to his child why daddy can never see him again

when you were young you must have had an older friend. one like 5 years older than you. right now he is a FRIEND. nothing more until its legal

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:09 PM
If she is even talking to him, then yes, she is playing with fire.

The only safe action for her to take is to NEVER be alone with him, NEVER to talk privately to him, and NEVER to tell him how she feels about him again. Not for a minimum of three years. By which time she will have forgotten all about him, at least romantically, and will be in love with someone else.

I'll tell you something else that neither of you is going to believe. By the time she is old enough to legally have sex, this guy is going to have no interest in her whatsoever, no matter what he may claim now. If he has said to her what she claims, with no spin and no wishful thinking, then her attraction to him is her age. When she is old enough to be legal, he's not going to be interested because she won't be thirteen any more.

And that, ladies, is why he is a pedophile. If, indeed, he said what Madly claims.

you don't know for sure if his feelings will change

moburkes
10-18-2007, 12:10 PM
she is not playing with fire. must i remind you she is waiting until she is old enough to be with him to committ to each other. in that time they can see if they want to continue there relations after she is an appropriate age.
They've already committed themselves. How about this? Let her contact someone at school - say a guidance counselor. Let her explain her relationship to this guidance counselor - an impartial 3rd party. Tell me what the guidance counselor has to say - after she calls the police.

She is playing with fire. According to her, she's been suspended from school for being harrassed. It had NOTHING to do with the fact that, while someone initiated a fight against her, she hit the person back. It was harrassment. That was an instinctive gut reaction. The SAME thing happens in relationships. She or he can make an instinctive, gut reaction - and the relationship absolutely 100% crosses the line to illegal. Right now they teetering on illegal. I could make a persuasive argument for illegal RIGHT NOW.

What is the difference? She was NOT MATURE enough to handle herself properly and got suspended for it. And, you're telling me that you can predict your life for the next 5 years????????????????? That would be a feat that most adults cannot accomplish, let alone some 13 year old.

JulieBean
10-18-2007, 12:10 PM
Okay, you know what? They're never going to listen. So I tell you what... Madly, go out and say in public that you love your 27 year old boyfriend. And then, while you're at it, kiss him. Yep, that's right, kiss him. Right there in front of everyone! Better yet, make sure the city cop is front row and center. Have him profess his love for you in front of God and country.

After that, maybe the mob can explain to you why what just happened was so wrong in so many ways... while your boyfriend gets carted off to prison.

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:10 PM
how are you anymore mature than us?

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 12:11 PM
He doesnt love me because im 13 and so young >.<. he doesnt think of me as such a young child he thinks of me as an adult. he reads me from within, from my soul not my cute lil 13 year old body -.-

cbg
10-18-2007, 12:12 PM
When I was her age, my older friend did not say to me, " i hate that I love you because your so young but the truth is i love u very much and id die for you if i had to"

Those are not the words of a friend. Those are the words, when spoken to a 13 year old by a 27 year old, of a pedophile.

cbg
10-18-2007, 12:13 PM
He doesnt love me because im 13 and so young >.<. he doesnt think of me as such a young child he thinks of me as an adult. he reads me from within, from my soul not my cute lil 13 year old body -.-

More proof of pedophilia.

milspecgirl
10-18-2007, 12:13 PM
are you just only reading the parts you want? he stated that he loved her and would die for her (she said). she said she brought up a sexual relationship to him

there- that is illegal.

please understand that this is NOT a friendship- if it was, she wouldn't even be wondering aobut sex or anything else cause you don't have those thoughts about just friends.

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:13 PM
Okay, you know what? They're never going to listen. So I tell you what... Madly, go out and say in public that you love your 27 year old boyfriend. And then, while you're at it, kiss him. Yep, that's right, kiss him. Right there in front of everyone! Better yet, make sure the city cop is front row and center. Have him profess his love for you in front of God and country.

After that, maybe the mob can explain to you why what just happened was so wrong in so many ways... while your boyfriend gets carted off to prison.


privacy is best. but that would be the case if she wasn't going to wait but ya'll can't seem to understand they are not publicy or privately doing anything but talking. it seems wrong to you guys but right to her. she is the one in this situation. not you. you don't feel her feelings or think her thoughts.

mommyof4
10-18-2007, 12:13 PM
being young or old has nothing to do with being able to comprehend something. we have feelings. some are the same as you feel some are different. but they are feelings. when you are in love you can tell. looking at that person gives you a feeling of warmth and protection. thinking about him/her just gives you chills. knowing that its not just some crush, that you want to be with this person as long as you can, hoping nothing will separate you from them. that's love. we feel it. you feel it. even at your ages your brains are fully developed. i don't care about science. it can't tell me whether i can love or not or if my feelings are true. my heart can and the person i love is there to remind me everyday.

Yep, you have feelings. The difference is that maturity (and maturity is only gained through experience and LIFE) and rational thought balance out the emotional rush induced by hormones. A teen does not have the rationality or maturity yet. It takes a long time to build it up.

Nobody said her feelings aren't real. I am 100% positive that she is experiencing a emotional rush. The thing is...there is no experience or rationale to balance out those feelings. Good gracious....I was 150% in love with my high school boyfriend. We were going to get married, he was joining the army, we were going to have a wonderful life traveling the world together....until....we didn't. I look back now and absolutely shudder and thank God that I did not get married that young. I'm still great friends with him. We just laugh, as do his wife and my husband.

No matter what her feelings are (and HER feelings aren't the ones that are wrong) HE cannot reciprocate those feelings UNLESS there is something very, very wrong with him. HIS feelings (if they are there, and by her posts, I have to at least give a bit of credence to his "statements") are wrong and his conversations with her are illegal.

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 12:14 PM
Im so sorry your closeminded and think just because he's 14 years older than me he prays on little girls for sex. that is not him ive known for years and i know he beats himself up everyday about loving me, even if in his mind i act older than i am. He isnt touching me so i really don't see the problem

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:14 PM
are you just only reading the parts you want? he stated that he loved her and would die for her (she said). she said she brought up a sexual relationship to him

there- that is illegal.

please understand that this is NOT a friendship- if it was, she wouldn't even be wondering aobut sex or anything else cause you don't have those thoughts about just friends.

but now she is going to wait until it is legal for sexual acts to happen

JulieBean
10-18-2007, 12:15 PM
privacy is best. but that would be the case if she wasn't going to wait but ya'll can't seem to understand they are not publicy or privately doing anything but talking. it seems wrong to you guys but right to her. she is the one in this situation. not you. you don't feel her feelings or think her thoughts.

what you don't understand is that even the talk is illegal. And that was stated several times by several different people, and yet you still ignore that fact of the law.

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:15 PM
Im so sorry your closeminded and think just because he's 14 years older than me he prays on little girls for sex. that is not him ive known for years and i know he beats himself up everyday about loving me, even if in his mind i act older than i am. He isnt touching me so i really don't see the problem


they are not going to understand. i see their side and your side. they don't look at it as a whole. only in their points of views

mommyof4
10-18-2007, 12:15 PM
when you were young you must have had an older friend. one like 5 years older than you. right now he is a FRIEND. nothing more until its legal

Nope. My parents absolutely forbid any relationship with someone that much older than myself. Now, my parents had their friends who I was (and still am) very close to. The difference is that their friends were just extra parents. :rolleyes:

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 12:15 PM
we acknowledge that we love each other but are waiting for any sexual contact, so for now yes we are just friends :)

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:16 PM
what you don't understand is that even the talk is illegal. And that was stated several times by several different people, and yet you still ignore that fact of the law.


sometimes the law is useless and needs to be thrown out the door

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:17 PM
we acknowledge that we love each other but are waiting for any sexual contact, so for now yes we are just friends :)

which is a msart decision but still won't please some people

milspecgirl
10-18-2007, 12:17 PM
how are you anymore mature than us?

well, since you are against the basics of science and biology- we won't get into those- but our brains and bodies are COMPLETELY different.

Have you driven a car yet? have you made a decision which affected whether someone lived or died? Have you done without so that NOone else would feel pain? Have you held someone's LIFE in your hand? Are you not realizing that this relationship could make it so that he NEVER sees his child again. Can she not see that the child is more important that him or her will ever be? Can she walk away from her "LOVE" to save this child? No- because teenagers are selfish- that is the way they are designed.

JulieBean
10-18-2007, 12:18 PM
sometimes the law is useless and needs to be thrown out the door

And that right there shows a lot about your maturity.

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 12:18 PM
well, since you are against the basics of science and biology- we won't get into those- but our brains and bodies are COMPLETELY different.

Have you driven a car yet? have you made a decision which affected whether someone lived or died? Have you done without so that NOone else would feel pain? Have you held someone's LIFE in your hand? Are you not realizing that this relationship could make it so that he NEVER sees his child again. Can she not see that the child is more important that him or her will ever be? Can she walk away from her "LOVE" to save this child? No- because teenagers are selfish- that is the way they are designed.

actually, i have done all of those things >.<

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:19 PM
well, since you are against the basics of science and biology- we won't get into those- but our brains and bodies are COMPLETELY different.

Have you driven a car yet? have you made a decision which affected whether someone lived or died? Have you done without so that NOone else would feel pain? Have you held someone's LIFE in your hand? Are you not realizing that this relationship could make it so that he NEVER sees his child again. Can she not see that the child is more important that him or her will ever be? Can she walk away from her "LOVE" to save this child? No- because teenagers are selfish- that is the way they are designed.

i do drive. and that has nothing to do with it. we have to learn to make our own mistakes but telling someone that its wrong for them to love who they love is not for any of us to do or for the law to make us obide by. but we have to in many cases.

JulieBean
10-18-2007, 12:19 PM
they are not going to understand. i see their side and your side. they don't look at it as a whole. only in their points of views

We DO see both sides. Unless you've been completely ignoring us, we have been your age at one point. The problem is that you've never been our age yet, and therefore don't understand where WE are coming from.

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 12:20 PM
You wanna know something? I told him that if it is a matter between me and his son i completley understand that he must pick his son. Dont ever call me selfish before you know the whole story

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:20 PM
maturity is different for everyone. we get it at different ages. not just when we are old and ready to crook. she is 13. that doesn't make her any less mature than you or me.

milspecgirl
10-18-2007, 12:21 PM
actually, i have done all of those things >.<




really- you have actually held the power to take someone else's life????? You had all the power over whether they lived or died??????? your decisions directly affected whether someone died or not?

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:22 PM
he doesn't have to choose between his son or her. at this point or later either. compromise can be useful when they later resume their relationship.

mommyof4
10-18-2007, 12:22 PM
There is no point of view to understand. What part of this do you not get, girls?

It is illegal. It is wrong. The court will not care that you really, really, really love him and that you are waiting until you are legal to have sex. The court only cares about the fact that an adult male (who has a child of his own) is entertaining sexy thoughts about a child and DISCUSSING THOSE FEELINGS WITH HER, EVEN IF IT IS ONLY TO SAY "I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE LEGAL TO TAP THAT......".

Get it now?

You are a little girl. He is an adult male.

I cannot wait for your mother and the mother of his child to find out about this. I can guaran-dang-tee you that it will be a race between the mothers to see who can get to the cops first.

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 12:22 PM
that is right, maturity doesnt just happen when you hit 18

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:23 PM
really- you have actually held the power to take someone else's life????? You had all the power over whether they lived or died??????? your decisions directly affected whether someone died or not?

have yours? not everyone has to go through that. you are only giving her negativity. be positive and smile a little more.

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 12:23 PM
There is no point of view to understand. What part of this do you not get, girls?

It is illegal. It is wrong. The court will not care that you really, really, really love him and that you are waiting until you are legal to have sex. The court only cares about the fact that an adult male (who has a child of his own) is entertaining sexy thoughts about a child and DISCUSSING THOSE FEELINGS WITH HER, EVEN IF IT IS ONLY TO SAY "I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE LEGAL TO TAP THAT......".

Get it now?

You are a little girl. He is an adult male.

I cannot wait for your mother and the mother of his child to find out about this. I can guaran-dang-tee you that it will be a race between the mothers to see who can get to the cops first.

You know what? i wish my mother cared about me that much. As for his ex...she doesnt have a leg to stand on...

milspecgirl
10-18-2007, 12:24 PM
we acknowledge that we love each other but are waiting for any sexual contact, so for now yes we are just friends :)

by acknowledging the love- he has committed a FELONY. he doesn't have to do anything else- that's it. Felony committed

this is a law site- we aren't here to debate maturity - we are here to discuss the law. he has committed a crime and by her continuing to get him to engage in these conversations, she is just adding up how many felony counts he will be charged with

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:24 PM
that is right, maturity doesnt just happen when you hit 18

yeah.

"puff"
"i'm now suddenly more mature than i was when i was 13 or 16"

that doesn't happen

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 12:25 PM
No one is going to find out that we love each other until it is legal, so why we are debating this is unknown to me

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:25 PM
none of you have never thought some law to be wrong or uselesS????
if you say that then you are lying

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:26 PM
me either.

milspecgirl
10-18-2007, 12:26 PM
have yours? not everyone has to go through that. you are only giving her negativity. be positive and smile a little more.




yes- mine have. I have held a newborn life in my hands. I have had the decision of whether an unborn child lived or died. I threw myself in front of a car to push a child out of the way. So, yes I have.

I'm not going to give her little smily faces- are you insane? He is a PEDOPHILE, his child is in danger and he needs to be in jail. And all the while, she thinks all is grand. No reason to smile

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 12:27 PM
If the law says its a felony to say "i love you" to a minor i am gonig to do everything in my power to get that law changed, and oh yeah ever heard of the first ammendment? freedom of speech

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:28 PM
yes- mine have. I have held a newborn life in my hands. I have had the decision of whether an unborn child lived or died. I threw myself in front of a car to push a child out of the way. So, yes I have.

I'm not going to give her little smily faces- are you insane? He is a PEDOPHILE, his child is in danger and he needs to be in jail. And all the while, she thinks all is grand. No reason to smile

not everyone is going to go through the same things you do.

milspecgirl
10-18-2007, 12:28 PM
No one is going to find out that we love each other until it is legal, so why we are debating this is unknown to me



really????? you can see the future? you know this for a fact? the only way for it to be a FACT is for you two to stop speaking- then it is a guarantee. otherwise, 1 little slip and bye bye MR child molestor

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 12:28 PM
milspec....yes i have and i dont want to discuss that. I was forced to have maturity so dont even begin to tell me im immature and i dont love

milspecgirl
10-18-2007, 12:29 PM
If the law says its a felony to say "i love you" to a minor i am gonig to do everything in my power to get that law changed, and oh yeah ever heard of the first ammendment? freedom of speech

Constitutional rights DO NOT apply to children or to things said to children. so, sorry, that one won't work
keep trying though.....

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 12:30 PM
his child is not in danger, and neither am i >.< he is not a child molester

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:30 PM
small minded people make the world boring

mommyof4
10-18-2007, 12:30 PM
maturity is different for everyone. we get it at different ages. not just when we are old and ready to crook. she is 13. that doesn't make her any less mature than you or me.

Since when is 34 old and ready to "croak"?

Are you honestly telling me that a 13 (or in your case, 16) year old child has the same maturity, capability, and life experience as a 34 year old married mother of 4 (3 of whom are girls and who's oldest is 12, btw...so don't think that I have no idea how little girls' minds work). Have you ever held a baby in your arms and KNOWN that there is nothing you would not do to protect that child from every harm possible, including laying down in front of an oncoming parade of elephants to save her? Have you ever dealt with a boss that demands sexual favors to keep your job? Have you ever dealt with mysoginist professor in class and try to keep a passing grade to keep you scholarship, when what you really want to do is remove his appendange and stuff it down his throat? Have you ever experienced the incredible feeling of the first kiss you share with your husband when you are FINALLY alone after the wedding? Have you ever experienced the fear that skates through your soul when your child is temporarily lost in the mall?

Little girl, the fact that you have to protest that you are so mature states how immature you truly are.

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 12:31 PM
the rights of the consittution to apply to things said to kids, he isnt a pedafile like it or not

mommyof4
10-18-2007, 12:32 PM
If the law says its a felony to say "i love you" to a minor i am gonig to do everything in my power to get that law changed, and oh yeah ever heard of the first ammendment? freedom of speech

Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Well, this tells me that you haven't even gotten into your government class in school. Why don't you tell us what the first amendment is? Go on. I'll wait.

milspecgirl
10-18-2007, 12:32 PM
milspec....yes i have and i dont want to discuss that. I was forced to have maturity so dont even begin to tell me im immature and i dont love

i'm not saying you can't love. I am saying that you can't profess your love to him or even talk about it in any way or you risk him going to jail. why is that so hard for you to understand? I could care less about whether you both think the other one is the greatest thing since sliced bread. what i care about is that he is committing a crime and unless 1 of you puts a complete stop to it, he is going to jail

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:33 PM
And that right there shows a lot about your maturity.


ignorant people

milspecgirl
10-18-2007, 12:34 PM
the rights of the consittution to apply to things said to kids, he isnt a pedafile like it or not

ummm, no they don't. Constitutional rights only applied to white men over the age of 18. They added women and people of color who are over 18, but I have yet to see the CNN special on those rights having anything to do with children

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:34 PM
i'm not saying you can't love. I am saying that you can't profess your love to him or even talk about it in any way or you risk him going to jail. why is that so hard for you to understand? I could care less about whether you both think the other one is the greatest thing since sliced bread. what i care about is that he is committing a crime and unless 1 of you puts a complete stop to it, he is going to jail

she isn't professing her love until she is legally able to do so

milspecgirl
10-18-2007, 12:35 PM
not everyone is going to go through the same things you do.

hey- you asked why she wasn't as mature- I was just giving a very short list of things that could be- it's called LIFE EXPERIENCE AND AGE

miltowngirl
10-18-2007, 12:36 PM
life experience is not the same for her as it was for you

Madlyinlove
10-18-2007, 12:39 PM
Cant we just stop fighting? no one is going to get hurt from him saying he loves me

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