My 4 year old son's biological father hasn't seen him since his 1st Birthday. Even before then he got kicked out of the Marines for drug use and moved back home to Michigan from North Carolina. He signed an affidavit of parentage at the birth of our son, and in the state of NC you have 90 days to contest parentage after signing the affidavit. He stated he had no reason to question it. So he never persued a DNA test, until I got married when my son was almost 2 years old. I filed for Child Support thru the department of social services when my son was 7 mths old, and after not paying child support for all of these years, they have finally caught up with him and garnished his wages. He owes me $8000 in back child support, and although I don't need the money now, as I did before I got married, I put it in my son's savings account for him to have one day. After contacting his biological father and asking him to agree to sign the adoption papers for my husband, he is pretty much "blackmailing" me by saying that he won't agree to signing them until I drop the arrears (back child support owed.) So we filed for Termination of Rights and unless he contest it, his rights will be terminated in 30 days. But I'm stressing that he will contest, although he hasn't had any interest in my son for over 3 years. He is just refusing to pay the owed money and is now harrasing me wishing me dead. I'm not quite sure what I'm asking, I just know that I'm up at 1:30 am stressing. If he were to contest, what could he contest to? And I'm pretty sure that his rights will be terminated in the end, but putting alot of money into lawyers to prove him unfit is not a favorable option for us.

Circumstances That Are Grounds for Termination of Parental Rights
§§ 7B-507; 7B-1111


The parent has willfully abandoned the child for 6 months.
The parent is unable to discharge his or her parental duties due to:
Mental illness or mental retardation
Substance abuse
The parent has abused or neglected the child.
The parent has subjected the child to aggravated circumstances, including, but not limited to, abandonment, torture, chronic abuse, or sexual abuse.
Reasonable efforts to rehabilitate the parent have failed.
The parent has been convicted of:
Murder or voluntary manslaughter of another child of the parent or another child residing in the home
Aiding, abetting, attempting, or soliciting to commit murder or voluntary manslaughter of the child, another child of the parent, or another child residing in the home
A felony assault that results in serious bodily injury to the child, another child of the parent, or another child in the home
The child is in foster care, and the parent, for a period of 6 months, has failed to pay a reasonable portion of the cost of the care when financially able to do so.
The noncustodial parent has failed, for a period of 1 year, to pay for the care, support, and education of the child, as required by the custody agreement.
A putative father has failed to establish paternity or provide substantial financial support for the child.
Parental rights to another child of the parent have been involuntarily terminated, and the parent lacks the ability or willingness to establish a safe home.


Circumstances That Are Exceptions to Termination of Parental Rights
§ 7B-1111

No parental rights shall be terminated for the sole reason that the parents are unable to care for the child on account of their poverty.



Who Must Consent to an Adoption
Citation: §§ 48-3-601; 48-3-602


The mother
A man who was married to the mother or has legitimated the child
A guardian
The agency that placed the child for adoption
The guardian ad litem of an incompetent parent



When Parental Consent is not Needed
Citation: § 48-3-603


The parent fails to respond to notice within 30 days.
A putative father cannot establish parental rights.
Rights have been terminated or relinquished.
A man denies paternity or is judicially determined not to be the father.
The representative of a deceased parent's estate lacks right to consent.
An individual is convicted of a rape that results in the conception of the child to be adopted.
A guardian or agency is found to be withholding consent contrary to the best interests of the child.


When Consent Can Be Executed
Citation: § 48-3-604


A man may consent any time before or after the child's birth.
A mother may only consent after the child's birth.
A guardian may consent at any time.
An agency with custody shall execute its consent no later than 30 days after being served notice of a proceeding for adoption.


How Consent Must Be Executed
Citation: §§ 48-3-605; 48-3-606


Consent must be signed and executed under oath before an authorized individual, declaring that consent was voluntary and stating the legal consequences of the consent.
The parent must also have been advised of the right to legal counsel and been made aware of counseling services that are available through the department.


Revocation of Consent
Citation: §§ 48-3-607; 48-3- 608; 48-3-609


Consent is generally final and irrevocable.
Consent to an infant in utero or any other minor may be revoked within 7 days following execution.
In a direct placement, consent may be revoked in 5 business days.
Consent may be revoked if there is fraud, duress, or mutual agreement.
If a parent revokes consent, and later consents again, the second consent is irrevocable.



Birth Parents in Relation to Adopted Person
Citation: Gen. Stat. § 48-1-106


After the entry of a decree of adoption, the birth parents are relieved of all legal duties and obligations due from them to the adopted person and are divested of all rights with respect to the adopted person.




Adoptive Parents in Relation to Adopted Person
Citation: Gen. Stat. § 48-1-106


From the date of the signing of the decree, the adopted person is entitled to inherit real and personal property by, through, and from the adoptive parents in accordance with the statutes on intestate succession.



Registry/Paternity Requirements to Receive Notice
Citation: §§ 48-2-206(a), (c); 48-2-401
The putative father:

Must file within 15 days of receiving notice of the mother's intent to place the child for adoption
Is not entitled to further notice of adoption proceedings if he fails to respond
Must file a response to an adoption petition within 30 days after service of notice



Who May Adopt
Citation: Gen. Stat. § 48-1-103

Any adult may adopt, except that spouses may not adopt each other.


Who May Be Adopted
Citation: Gen. Stat. § 48-1-104

Any individual may be adopted.


Who May Place a Child for Adoption
Citation: Gen. Stat. § 48-3-201
The child may be placed by any of the following:

An agency
A guardian
Both parents if married and living together
A parent with legal and physical custody of the child



Honestly, if what he wants is to be relieved of his arrearage or he will contest, you may find it to be less expensive and stressful to just go ahead and do it. I'm not sure what the going rate is for your attorney but when they contest it, it sure gets expensive, and quickly.

I hope this didn't bum you out too much.


OSM

I agree with OSM. Did you ever accept financial assistance through the state? If not, look at it this way. How much is your child's and your family's peace of mind worth? $8,000 dollars (although it IS a lot of money) doesn't seem too much in this case.

My opinion, just forgive it. We are willing to forgive 30k just to get our to go away and leave us alone

Thanks for your input, I appreciate it so much. I agree w/in dropping the arrears, my husband thinks that he shouldn't get away scott free w/out having to pay a thing for this child that he has never taken care of. He feels that we have a strong enough case to where his rights will be terminated and he'll still have to pay the back support. His biological father knows that I can willingily drop the back child support, so now he's harrassing me and threating to file for partial custody (just to scare me) if I don't agree to drop it. He has even gone as far as sending me text messages wishing I would die. Again, thank you so much for your input!!!

I sure hope you locked in that text. If possible, get the records of that text from your carrier. People who send death threats are not people judges like to have influence on children.

Tell your husband there comes a time when being right isn't necessarily the most important thing. Ideally, yes, the father (and I use that term very loosely) would pay every cent he owes. At this point though, it is more important to get the adoption done so kiddo can legally say, "this is my Mommy and my Daddy." Your husband is getting a great kid. That should more than make up for any anger or feelings of debt. Good luck. You don't know how lucky you are that you and your husband are in the position that TPR and adoption is even an option. My case was in NC and if there was ever a case to support forced TPR, mine was it. It was a no-go.

If I were in your situation, I would file to have his rights terminated, and let him believe you aren't going to comprimise. In the end, I would give him the deal if I had to in order to avoid all the attorneys fees .... but, if he's not willing to pay $8,000 in back support, do you really think he's going to pay HIS attorneys fees to contest, to get visitation, to travel from Michigan and fight it?? ...... His whole point is to get out of paying the money... why would he spend that much to get out of it.

God Bless!
Amy

If I were in your situation, I would file to have his rights terminated, and let him believe you aren't going to comprimise. In the end, I would give him the deal if I had to in order to avoid all the attorneys fees .... but, if he's not willing to pay $8,000 in back support, do you really think he's going to pay HIS attorneys fees to contest, to get visitation, to travel from Michigan and fight it?? ...... His whole point is to get out of paying the money... why would he spend that much to get out of it.

God Bless!
Amy She said that this would be determined within 30 days. Since this thread was written in July, I'm guessing that its over now.