I was awarded custody of my son about 3 years ago, due to the mother being on drugs and unable to care for him. She was given court ordered visitation Every Weekend. In December of 2005 while my son was with her for the weekend she was arrested to destruction of property, Disorderly Conduct and Possession with Intent to Deliver Controlled Substances (Meaning She had Valium and Morphine mixed in the same pill bottle as my sons Adderal) My son was also found sleeping in a bedroom with no heat and only wearing his underwear, covered with a towel in the middle of december. My son was removed from her and brought home to me by the deputy sheriff. I immediately had her visitation removed and it is now Court Ordered Supervised Visitation for 3 Hours a week. My problem is this...She rarely ever shows up and if she does she stays no longer than an hour, She is also failing to pay child support, although the money is not that important to me. Now she is Threatening to take me back to court to get custody back. I feel that she cant show up once a week for only 3 hours she has no business raising him. I have court records of the described event so I know that she will never get custody back. In my opinion I feel that she is a risk to his well being! Any comments or help would be greatly appreciated.

I was awarded custody of my son about 3 years ago, due to the mother being on drugs and unable to care for him. She was given court ordered visitation Every Weekend. In December of 2005 while my son was with her for the weekend she was arrested to destruction of property, Disorderly Conduct and Possession with Intent to Deliver Controlled Substances (Meaning She had Valium and Morphine mixed in the same pill bottle as my sons Adderal) My son was also found sleeping in a bedroom with no heat and only wearing his underwear, covered with a towel in the middle of december. My son was removed from her and brought home to me by the deputy sheriff. I immediately had her visitation removed and it is now Court Ordered Supervised Visitation for 3 Hours a week. My problem is this...She rarely ever shows up and if she does she stays no longer than an hour, She is also failing to pay child support, although the money is not that important to me. Now she is Threatening to take me back to court to get custody back. I feel that she cant show up once a week for only 3 hours she has no business raising him. I have court records of the described event so I know that she will never get custody back. In my opinion I feel that she is a risk to his well being! Any comments or help would be greatly appreciated.

Who was doing the supervision for the visits? Are they able to be in court to testify as to the missed visits in addition to describing how the visits were?

If so, you can file to at least terminate her visitation altogether. Then it would be up to her to do something to prove to the court that she has worked to be a good parent. (this would most likely involve her going to counseling, parenting classes, drug rehab, etc. AND paying some regular CS)

It's very difficult to terminate rights, it usually takes many years, but the main thing for now will be trying to keep her from harming your son. Then as time goes by, you'll have more evidence to use in court to eventually terminate.

Also, has a guardian ad litem ever been involved in your case? If not, this would be a good time to request one.

Either myself or my fiance have been supervising the visits. We have been keeping a log book with dates, times and comments about the visits. I can count the times she has shown up on one hand out of the past 5 or 6 months. She doesn't even call to talk to him or to let us know that shes not going to show up.

So that is what you suggest? to have the visitation terminated, rather than try to terminate rights? Is that the same as a no contact order?

It would be best if the visitation was supervised by someone other than you or your fiancee. She can claim (and it is her word against yours) that you or your fiancee make visitation uncomfortable or difficult. It's weak, but.....

I would suggest that you first attempt to get a different supervision system in place. There are agencies (both private and through the state) that provide this service. Once that is set up, if she continues to refuse to visit the child, you will have a much stronger case to teminate visitation rights until/unless she can prove that she is taking HUGE steps to earn back her right to visit the child.

The fact that there IS contact (as sporadic as it may be) will make any attempt at TPR difficult at best.