I am in iowa but the case is in jersey.
The girl turned 18 dec 8 2006. We know that it can go on until out of college. He has been ordered to pay 1000 a mo and she makes 70k and he makes 25k.
The visitation has been denied for 10 yrs, she used his credit for 10 years illegally and in contempt of court, she continually is taking the minor out of the country without advising the non custodial and the courts permission, she lets her travel alone with 18 yr boyfriend to barbados and the keys.
Yet he pays for merely a sperm donation? They were never married and she has nwo got a lawyer fighting us. All we are asking for is emancipation since she graduates in less than a month and since no contact and no say so on college by law he is not required nor was it in the support order.
then he can pay off the back amount which will take 6 years. This should have been taken to court to lower 10 years ago, but did not. Now he is married to a person who is disabled with MS.
My question 1) Doesn't a disabled spouse as a dependant affect and lower the support since he has to support a disabled spouse? 2) what can we expect from the Judge. We had it scheduled for the 25may and they said out of the blue they had vacations so judge went their way and changed it to 08June. Fine 1 week prior to her graduation. The lawyer is playing games, they had our email and our phone is listed and says they could not get ahold of us in fact they never tried!
Besides we don't want to talk to the liar anyway.
I know midwest is done at age 18 and in jersey the backwards state, they go on and on. Hell, I had to pay for my own college, I don't get why the state of jersey sticks their say so on college anyway. But all states should be 18. 18 is the legal age. She is of legal age and we still have to pay the money grubbin custodial who has been in contempt of court for 10 years!
anyone with experience or knows the jersey system, plese enlighten me as to what the specs of the court system is there. I feel at a minimum we should get it lowered and to enforce our rights including unsupervised vistis here in the midwest. WE moved to NY 3 years ago and she denied our contact. She told my wife that it is HER daughter! We tried from our engagement to have a nice peaceful blended family and in fact she has built up brick walls and blames me when she is the one hurting the girl and saying bad things about us. We do not give money to buy love, we earn it and financial things do not matter. The child has not learned you have to work for what you want. She is given things and when she hits the real world she has a shock coming. She was given a brand new car as a junior in high school. She should have had to work to earn it. Needless to say~ she has stolen 10 years of my dtrs life from me and now is so jealous of my happiness and success in life she is
being stupid. She goes on vacation with her domestic female partner and dtr knows this issue. I have a right to be in the childs life and I have tried and tried. Every child deserves the Love from BOTH parents!!!!:mad:

Have you EVER filed a contempt motion for the denial of visitation?

We are doing that now, multiple issues, emancipation, enforce litigants rights, contempt of court and lower child support if not emancipated. That is all on the same form.
We fully realize she is 18 and she cannot be forced to go on visitations and technically she is an adult.
The point is this~ We just are wondering if there is any light at the end of this tunnel. Change of circumstances was on the form too as one of our reasons for seeking all this. We thought with time she would realize and get over it. That in fact did not happen and only got worse, after we contacted the bank and demanded his name off the mortgage, We were not aware of this fraud until we ran our credit and the mortgage was on it. That was court ordered in 1996 she was to remove his name and she did not thinking she would 'get' him back. She never accepted that relationship was over. We sent in proof copies of the loans she kept taking out with his name and all that the courts have it was 3" thick! We sent in so much proof that we are leaving it all up to the judge. We would like to have her as part of our family and it is just simply pathetic that each child deserves both parents and one is denying this right of the minors(adult now).

Yet he pays for merely a sperm donation?

A sperm donation? That's a little bit vulgar. He's not paying for a sperm donation. He made a conscious and deliberate decision to have sex with this woman. What he is "paying for" is the child support for the upbringing of the child he chose to have. Don't call it a "sperm donation."

My question 1) Doesn't a disabled spouse as a dependant affect and lower the support since he has to support a disabled spouse?

No. His obligation to his child comes before his obligation to his spouse.

2) what can we expect from the Judge.

You can expect that if she meets the qualifications for emancipation from child support, then it will be granted.

It is very common to continue or reschedule a case.

I know midwest is done at age 18 and in jersey the backwards state, they go on and on.

That is incorrect. The age of emancipation as far as a child support order is different than the age of majority. In midwestern Illinois, CS ends at 18 if the child is a high school graduate, and if not, it's 19. Same thing in Iowa and Wisconsin. In Nebraska, it's 19 regardless of the child's schooling. In Minnesota, it is 18 for a high school graduate, but if the child is still in HS at age 18, support continues until age 20. Indiana is age 21 regardless of school status.

The point is that there is no "midwest" standard, and in general, child support rarely ends completely at age 18.

New Jersey does not force parents to pay for college, but they do highly encourage it for parents who can afford it. Both parents' financial situations are always taken into consideration.

As far as the visitation issue: visitation and child support are TWO DIFFERENT ISSUES. Visitation will not be discussed at your hearing. And, since the child is 18, the court will NOT order visitaion with her Dad. If he wants her to come visit, ask. If she cannot afford it, send her a plane ticket. If you cannot afford it, it won't happen. If she doesn't want to come, it won't happen.

If all the custodial wants is money that is simply a sperm donor!
That is exactly the situation!
The male wants contact with the child and it is obvious she just wanted a male sperm that was it!!!!
A deadbeat parent who was ordered too much child support from a money grubbing liar that cheats on income is wrong.
If you only make so much you cannot get blood out of a turnip!
The point is this...
many men want to be a part of the childs life and the custodial female makes it impossible or next to by denying contact and keeping the child away for her person issues.
Bottom line is that EVERY CHILD DESERVES AND IS ENTITLED TO THE LOVE OF BOTH PARENTS!!!!
:mad:

If all the custodial wants is money that is simply a sperm donor!
That is exactly the situation!
The male wants contact with the child and it is obvious she just wanted a male sperm that was it!!!!
A deadbeat parent who was ordered too much child support from a money grubbing liar that cheats on income is wrong.
If you only make so much you cannot get blood out of a turnip!
The point is this...
many men want to be a part of the childs life and the custodial female makes it impossible or next to by denying contact and keeping the child away for her person issues.
Bottom line is that EVERY CHILD DESERVES AND IS ENTITLED TO THE LOVE OF BOTH PARENTS!!!!
:mad:


So why did you wait 10 years to file for contempt?

To shorten the answer~ we have been married 5 of the 10 years. He did not have money for a lawyer. We wanted to pay excess payments for 5 years to show the courts good intentions and efforts to repay the back amount and keep current on top.
We did not realize her fraud using his name on loans until last year when ran credit report. Then we found proof of this issue. All these loans were under his name and he never knew of them nor approved nor signed. Since his name was still on the house he was legally responsible.Even tho the court ordered his name off in 1996.
Spouse health with MS and multiple hospitalizations for both of us, we simply were say preoccupied with medical issues.
Until recently thought had to show up in court and in fact it is a telephone hearing for us since we dont have funds and physically due to medical cannot travel that far.
Tried to hope it would not come to all this drama but it had to be done. I kept saying to take it to court and he was afraid that it would be upped and in fact looking back that is wrong assumption.
Basically, waited until we had enough proof on our side to take it to court. Then when things got so bad that they are talking of moving to scotland and not telling him, that was the straw that broke the camels back.
I appreciate your constructive feedback and do not mean to offend you if I have in some way.
This simply is a screwed up mess. The original cs order was in error due to his inability to have a lawyer, he only has an 8th gr education and did not know until he met me. I explained the details he never knew. That is when we started checking into things when his checks were being garnished over 50% and I know that is wrong.
In fact the ocean county jersey form states you can be heard on visitation and child support and litigants rights and emancipation all at the same hearing. So, we hope this is all done and over soon.

If all the custodial wants is money that is simply a sperm donor!
That is exactly the situation!
The male wants contact with the child and it is obvious she just wanted a male sperm that was it!!!!
A deadbeat parent who was ordered too much child support from a money grubbing liar that cheats on income is wrong.
If you only make so much you cannot get blood out of a turnip!
The point is this...
many men want to be a part of the childs life and the custodial female makes it impossible or next to by denying contact and keeping the child away for her person issues.
Bottom line is that EVERY CHILD DESERVES AND IS ENTITLED TO THE LOVE OF BOTH PARENTS!!!!
:mad:

You know what? Calm the hell down. YOU are the one who introduced the language "sperm donor." It's not a matter of what "she" wants. HE played an active role in the creation of this child. Why didn't HE pursue contempt for interference with visitation years ago? If there were legal custody orders in place, then he ALWAYS had a remedy in the courts. You can file for contempt without an attorney.

Sounds to me like the Dad gave up, and said, "Oh well, I'll just pay until the kid is 18 and be done with it". He should have researched better.

I did get a lawyer 5 years ago and after their month experience with the rude jersey agents she took herself off the case and said just make some sort of payment each month. It is too much for interstate lawyers to have to deal with their system. so In fact we did try 5 years ago and they were getting the shaft and that was the best lawyer in town who was disgusted with them.
So now, that there has continued to me more change of circumstance, with her graduation from hs next month and the moving international, and denied visits and the fraud with credit, and denying all contact, etc, it was time to enforce our rights.
She needs to learn even if she cannot stand the person he is married to, she has to allow the child to see her and spend time with that family. There is multiple other grandparents etc she has never met. She cannot keep the 18yr old from knowing all her relatives.
all her money cannot buy the girl her happiness!
The love of parents is priceless. whether step or not.:confused:

Something must change and now the courts have the facts and can make up the decision on what will change.
She made a big stink about taking the child to florida 10 years ago at that time the child was not to leave the state, so the way I see it, her BS has come back to bite her in the *$$!
The minor has been allowed to travel internationally alone, so I don't see the concept of supervised visitations on an 18 yr old!

The simple solution is to emancipate and be done! Allow the back pay to get paid and get over it.

What exactly are you talking about when you say you want the judge to "enforce your rights?"

The rights to what? I am not understanding what you think you are going to court for.

Just a couple of observations, here. (Including ones from your other senseless thread and relevant to whomever was posting whatever).

One, if she is a lesbian, she doesn't want your husband. Unless, of course, your husband is a woman.

Two, it doesn't matter if you have MS, AIDS, syphilis, purple spot disease, what have you. His FIRST obligation is to support his child. So stop invoking the MS argument every time you post.

Three, what do you have that she would be jealous of? She makes more money, travels internationally, her adult daughter lives with her (when she is not traveling with her boyfriend), and is apparently in a relationship with a woman. Exactly what do you have that would make her long to be in your shoes?

You have been told repeatedly what to do. If you have an atty, let the atty handle this. If you don't, really the only thing the atty may be able to assist with is the CS modification. You don't have any other case (outside of the possible credit fraud). We only know what YOU (and depending on who is posting, may NOT be a legal party to this situation) have posted.

This child is 18. There is nobody "letting" her do anything. She's an adult.

It doesn't matter how cute or ugly the parties involved are. You are not a party and really, you sound like another poster that was banned a while back.

If your atty feels modification is applicable, good for your husband. If not, he can count on continuing to pay support. If it is modified, the order will be modified from the date of modification, only. Don't count on getting money back.

The judge is not going to enforce your rights. You have none. She is an adult. She doesn't have to do a dang thing she doesn't want to do. Welcome to reality.

Credit fraud may be a criminal charge. No family court is going to hear that aspect. If you have proof, you need to contact the police.

At 18, the visitation order is worthless. You don't have any right to force an adult to spend any time with you or your family.

First of all there is no attny YOU DON'T REQUIRE ONE IN JERSEY duh!

APPARENTLY YOU'RE iGNORANT & INCOMPETENT TO THE LAWS OF JERSEY. tHERE IS A WEB SITE YOU MIGHT TRY READING IT TO GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT.

THERE IS HELP OUT THERE FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU!

I cannot stop laughing that the title actually says "go pound sand."

That is hysterical. Seriously.

I will use that from now on...

dUH~ THEY ARE THE ONES WHO ORDERED HER TO REMOVE HIS NAME FROM THE HOUSE AND WHEN YOU DON'T DO WHAT THE COURT ORDERS THAT IS CALLED CONTEMPT OF COURT AND THEY HEAR THE FACTS AND PROSECUTE.
tHEY ALSO CAN ENFORCE THE RIGHTS OF THE NON CUSTODIAL WITH VISITS AND CONTACT AND UNSUPERVISED IN ANOTHER STATE.
iT IS DISGUSTING SOME PEOPLE THINK THEY KNOW IT ALL AND DON'T KNOW A THING ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO JERSEY LAW.
tHERE IS A WEB SITE YOU CAN STUDY, READ AND LEARN FROM.
uNTIL YOU ARE A LICENSED ATTNY AT LAW IN JERSEY DON'T BOTHER TO RESPOND:D .

Ummm, web site or no web site, how do you propose that the court will force a legal adult to visit with people she wants nothing to do with?

This I gotta' see.

I have to ask this again...

What exactly are you talking about when you say you want the judge to "enforce your rights?"

The rights to what? I am not understanding what you think you are going to court for.

tHEY ALSO CAN ENFORCE THE RIGHTS OF THE NON CUSTODIAL WITH VISITS AND CONTACT AND UNSUPERVISED IN ANOTHER STATE.

No judge in any state will enforce the rights of your husband as far as visitation with his daughter. She is a legal adult. Visitations cannot be forced with a legal adult. Actually, in New Jersey, the court will listen to the child's wishes at age 16, and won't force visitation if the child is against it. But in your case, the child isn't even a child. The court cannot enforce rights to visitation and/or contact, supervised or not.

No judge in any state will enforce the rights of your husband as far as visitation with his daughter. She is a legal adult. Visitations cannot be forced with a legal adult. Actually, in New Jersey, the court will listen to the child's wishes at age 16, and won't force visitation if the child is against it. But in your case, the child isn't even a child. The court cannot enforce rights to visitation and/or contact, supervised or not.

What is with the crazies in here today?? Between this OP and that other nut....geesh!

Would somebody please point out where I said she (well, he) HAD to have an atty? My entire point about the atty is apparently it's not going too well without one. If they do not have an atty and really want to persue this, I strongly suggest they get one.

Apparently, I'm still pounding sand (or is that my head against the wall?):rolleyes:

what I don't understand is- if our poster here knows it all- why come here and ask questions?:cool:

I swear, I thought this poster was Barbie. (anybody else here remember her/him?).:rolleyes:

I swear, I thought this poster was Barbie. (anybody else here remember her/him?).:rolleyes:

He/she ain't no Barbie doll, you dummy! Go pound sand!

No, no, no...not the doll.

There was a poster who was banned that went by the name "Barbie". He/she (pictures were interesting...somebody tracked down the MySpace page) complained about the boyfriend paying child support and kept repeating "But, I'm CUTE and she's not". A good time was had by all.

No, no, no...not the doll.

There was a poster who was banned that went by the name "Barbie". He/she (pictures were interesting...somebody tracked down the MySpace page) complained about the boyfriend paying child support and kept repeating "But, I'm CUTE and she's not". A good time was had by all.

Oh... well....

Go pound sand anyway!! :D

I find that so hysterical, yet I don't really know what it means.

Two, it doesn't matter if you have MS, AIDS, syphilis, purple spot disease,...

:eek: That is so funny, and brought back a memory for me. When I was a freshman in HS, I hated math class. So my friend and I came up with what we stupidly thought was a good idea- we went into the bathroom, took a purple magic marker and placed dots all over our faces, arms, etc. We went into class and asked to be excused- explaining that our families had gone on vacation to the Amazon and we had caught the "dreaded purple polka dot disease".
Oh, we were excused all right- straight to the principal's office who then called our parents. We really were sick when we were put on a months restriction and weren't allowed to talk to each other.

Thank God, somehow I made it through my teen years, although my parents ahve alot more gray hairs than they should. Thanks for reminding me of a funny, albeit, crazy memory.:)

No, no, no...not the doll.

There was a poster who was banned that went by the name "Barbie". He/she (pictures were interesting...somebody tracked down the MySpace page) complained about the boyfriend paying child support and kept repeating "But, I'm CUTE and she's not". A good time was had by all.

Oh yeah, I remember "Barbie". Almost as bad as Kelly, well, might have actually been worse than Kelly because he/she was a bigger nut. I hope it's not "Barbie" again.

Oh... well....

Go pound sand anyway!! :D

I find that so hysterical, yet I don't really know what it means.

I think it means to go f yourself....:eek:

:eek: That is so funny, and brought back a memory for me. When I was a freshman in HS, I hated math class. So my friend and I came up with what we stupidly thought was a good idea- we went into the bathroom, took a purple magic marker and placed dots all over our faces, arms, etc. We went into class and asked to be excused- explaining that our families had gone on vacation to the Amazon and we had caught the "dreaded purple polka dot disease".
Oh, we were excused all right- straight to the principal's office who then called our parents. We really were sick when we were put on a months restriction and weren't allowed to talk to each other.

Thank God, somehow I made it through my teen years, although my parents ahve alot more gray hairs than they should. Thanks for reminding me of a funny, albeit, crazy memory.:)

Okay, that's absolutely hilarious! I was laughing out loud! I would have at least given you points for creativity, but then, I'm a little more lax than most teachers seem to be. I tend to encourage mild (harmless) rebellion among my kids' friends. (Yes, their parents just adore me.)

And yes, Bay, that's what it means. I kinda' always thought it was more of a Southern expression, but apparently not.:rolleyes: I see no need to pound sand when I can just pound my head against a brick wall trying to make sense of this poster's idiocy.

I think it means to go f yourself....:eek:

I have never heard it before. I am going to start using it. GO POUND SAND! See? Like that!

Okay, that's absolutely hilarious! I was laughing out loud! I would have at least given you points for creativity, but then, I'm a little more lax than most teachers seem to be. I tend to encourage mild (harmless) rebellion among my kids' friends. (Yes, their parents just adore me.)

And yes, Bay, that's what it means. I kinda' always thought it was more of a Southern expression, but apparently not.:rolleyes: I see no need to pound sand when I can just pound my head against a brick wall trying to make sense of this poster's idiocy.

Hey...you wouldn't want to provide a link to Barbie would you?? My little one is out with her Aunt and Uncle and I am bored....:(

I have never heard it before. I am going to start using it. GO POUND SAND! See? Like that!

BB over at FA says that all the time...I figured it was a "nice" way to say FU.....

Hey...you wouldn't want to provide a link to Barbie would you?? My little one is out with her Aunt and Uncle and I am bored....:(

I'll see if I can still find them. Alot of them were removed.