Here is my situation...

I'm 22 years old and have been married since March 2005. I recently had a beautiful little girl in September 2006. My situation at home is getting worse and worse my husband is getting more and more physical with me and has threatened me on numerous occassions and has threatened to take my little girl away from me when divorce is brought up. I haven't called the cops or charged him with anything so there is no proof of abuse except when him and I were in the Air Force and he was going to be charged with domestic voilence but I dropped the charges. I guess you could say I'm young, dumb, and scared. There is drug use on his behalf, but again no proof. He continually tells me that if I file for divorce he will get my daughter. He believes that he can get my daughter because I have no means of support for her because I'm a housemaker which was agreed upon between him and I which means I wouldn't get custody. He threatens and says a lot of things that make me believe that he will get custody of her when a divorce comes, and I know deep in my heart that in her best interest she should be with me. I'm in the process of getting prepared for a divorce but before I do so I want to know everything I can about obtaining full custody of my daughter. If anyone is out there that can help or give me reasonable advice please do so. I appreciate the help...I'm so confused and scared. Please help.

Diane

As you are in Ohio, Ohio Step Mom is the best one to give you information.

However, I will tell you that you need to immediately get the thought out of your head that just because you are a SAHM that disqualifies you from being granted custody of your daughter. That's ridiculous.

Your husband will not be obligated to support YOU, but you will BOTH be obligated to financially support your child.

Sweetie, I understand you are young, but you are going to have to toughen up. You know this is not all about you anymore. You have a daughter who will be watching every move you make for the rest of your life. Do you want her to see her mother, the most important female in her life, as a scared, timid little girl or do you want her to see you as a strong, capable woman?

As I said, hang on for OSM. It may not be tonight. She just went through a pretty draining situation.

Your husband will not be obligated to support YOU, but you will BOTH be obligated to financially support your child.

Wrong The provisions fo spousal support are contained in Title 31 of the Ohio Revised Code, but there is no set formula. Spouses must support one another to the manner to which they were accustomed during the marriage after a divorce. Prenuptial agreements are enforceable, provided that there is full and fair disclosure, and that they are reasonable under the circumstances. Unless you have a career, and can support your self without a problem. You should be awarded some level of spousal support.
JoeC

Wrong The provisions fo spousal support are contained in Title 31 of the Ohio Revised Code, but there is no set formula. Spouses must support one another to the manner to which they were accustomed during the marriage after a divorce. Prenuptial agreements are enforceable, provided that there is full and fair disclosure, and that they are reasonable under the circumstances. Unless you have a career, and can support your self without a problem. You should be awarded some level of spousal support.
JoeC


Yes Joe, I am aware of what alimony is and I am aware that alimony is a possibility. However, the fact that they have obviously not been married for a great amount of time will weigh greatly in consideration of whether or not alimony is awarded. If it is awarded, it will not be for long...only long enough for her to reasonably to get on her feet and get a job. In that sense, he will NOT be supporting her (maybe it will make you feel better if I add "for life") after the divorce.

Yes Joe, I am aware of what alimony is and I am aware that alimony is a possibility. However, the fact that they have obviously not been married for a great amount of time will weigh greatly in consideration of whether or not alimony is awarded. If it is awarded, it will not be for long...only long enough for her to reasonably to get on her feet and get a job. In that sense, he will NOT be supporting her (maybe it will make you feel better if I add "for life") after the divorce.
Wrong again length of marriage is only one factor.
Ohio Revised Code 3105.18
(C) (1) In determining whether spousal support is appropriate and reasonable, and in determining the nature, amount, and terms of payment, and duration of spousal support, which is payable either in gross or in installments, the court shall consider all of the following factors:

(a) The income of the parties, from all sources, including, but not limited to, income derived from property divided, disbursed, or distributed under section 3105.171 [3105.17.1] of the Revised Code;

(b) The relative earning abilities of the parties;

(c) The ages and the physical, mental, and emotional conditions of the parties;

(d) The retirement benefits of the parties;

(e) The duration of the marriage;

(f) The extent to which it would be inappropriate for a party, because that party will be custodian of a minor child of the marriage, to seek employment outside the home;

(g) The standard of living of the parties established during the marriage;

(h) The relative extent of education of the parties;

(i) The relative assets and liabilities of the parties, including but not limited to any court-ordered payments by the parties;

(j) The contribution of each party to the education, training, or earning ability of the other party, including, but not limited to, any party's contribution to the acquisition of a professional degree of the other party;

(k) The time and expense necessary for the spouse who is seeking spousal support to acquire education, training, or job experience so that the spouse will be qualified to obtain appropriate employment, provided the education, training, or job experience, and employment is, in fact, sought;

(l) The tax consequences, for each party, of an award of spousal support;

(m) The lost income production capacity of either party that resulted from that party's marital responsibilities;

(n) Any other factor that the court expressly finds to be relevant and equitable.

O.P talk to divorce attorney in your state. Alimony is not just possible it is damn likely.
JoeC

Joe, her husband will not be supporting HER for life. You don't know what you are talking about other than the generalities. Each case for alimony is case specific. Stop posting your 'advice' giving false hope to someone that they will be set for life after divorce. If she wants to continue to be fully supported by her husband, she can stay married.

I don't argue with you on union issues, as I have no more knowledge than any other average person. I would ask you to do the same. Believe it or not, the court has alot of leeway.

You're wrong except in the fact that you posted the statute that expressly supports exactly what I said. Now stop.

Deleted by poster.

Joe...The OP is 22 and has only been married for 2 years...The chances of her getting SS is slim to none! Child support, yes if she gets custody...but I highly doubt SS.

But I will ask a Ohio Family Attorney to chime in on this and give her learned opinion!

Good idea Bay state girl.
JoeC

Wrong again three strikes your out!
You told the O.P

Strike 1


Strike 2


Strike 3

Its not a generality if its codified in to law.It is case specific unless your a divorce attorney in Ohio your not in any position to say how this case will play out.

.
What color is the sky in your world,you have to be the only one reading this thread that belive that.
It was slow over in Labor/employment law so I took a look over here. The only thing your offering is alot tounge. Next time check the law before you shoot off your mouth to some one in serious need. Class is now ended.

JoeC

Well, I was wondering how long it would take you to revert to your typical pathetic form. Sadly, you have just proven that you have not improved with age.

Unless this girl has extraordinary circumstances that she chose to keep private, alimony is slim to none.

Deleted by poster.

Ummm, Joe? You only exposed your a@@. What are you, a toddler? My four year old has better come backs than that. All I can picture is a sad, lonely, little man stamping his feet while shouting "I know you are, but what am I?" I know that you just adore me. Now, I'm not really interested in your attention.

"Class" was over the minute you decided to respond. You don't have any.

Thanx for the laugh. I'm positive that the others are getting a giggle, too.

Hey the older I get the stupider you sound,you sound like you may be a battered wife yourself. I already gave you one lesson. CLASS IS OVER.
I'm done exposing what a moron you are for the night.
JoeC

Okay Joe...You are wrong and need to apologize for that totally inappropriate and STUPID comment!

Mommyof4 IS correct! YOU ARE WRONG!

stupider


Stupider?

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_11_6.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxmk869DUUS)

Deleted by poster

That's right Joe...keep it coming. :)

Typical.

Hey, wait a minute....I thought you were done for the night. What happened? You just couldn't stay away?

If Your 4 year old is not already in therapy the kid will be soon.

You really should dust off your bottle of Prozac and take one...or two...

That's right Joe...keep it coming. :)

Typical.

Hey, wait a minute....I thought you were done for the night. What happened? You just couldn't stay away?

Do you think this is his version of a 3rd grader pulling the hair of the pretty girl he likes?? :eek:

Probably. He sure does sound like one, huh? Spitballs, anyone?http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_2_4.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxmk869DUUS)

Wrong again three strikes your out!
You told the O.P

Strike 1


Strike 2


Strike 3

Its not a generality if its codified in to law.It is case specific unless your a divorce attorney in Ohio your not in any position to say how this case will play out.

.
What color is the sky in your world,you have to be the only one reading this thread that belive that.
It was slow over in Labor/employment law so I took a look over here. The only thing your offering is alot tounge. Next time check the law before you shoot off your mouth to some one in serious need. Class is now ended.

JoeC

Well guess what? I am a divorce attorney in Ohio and YOU are wrong. Spousal support is codified in Ohio law. However the duration of marriage is extremely important. OP was expected to support herself before the marriage and she is expected to support herself AFTER the marriage. She will not get spousal support for a two year marriage. A judge would laugh hysterically at such a request. The most that could be hoped for is that during the divorce proceedings husband would have to continue paying the mortgage and utilities in order not jeopardize his children. And even that is not a guarantee.

So, any takers on whether or not Joe apologizes? :rolleyes:

I doubt it because we all know how "idiots" can be. BTW joe, been there done that, twice. Support was ordered after a ten year marriage (for two years or remarriage) but not for the one that lasted two.


luvinsublime003,

I'm sorry you're going through this. YOU HAVE TO MAKE A REPORT AND STICK TO FOLLOWING IT THROUGH. Then, go to your county domestic relations court and file for an emergency domestic violence restraining order on behalf of yourself and your child. This will give you immediate emergency custody of your child. This will also "evict" him via your local police department from your home at least until the next hearing. There will then be a hearing within the next day or two that you both will be required to attend to determine if the emergency order was necessary. Take all the documentation you have (if possible the military records as well to show a pattern of abuse) with you to this second hearing. If he doesn't go to the hearing, the order will be granted by default.

You can record telephone conversations in the state of Ohio without notifying the other party the call is being recorded. Get his threats on tape. This will all but guarantee that the protection order will be granted.

If you feel that you are in danger, take your daughter with you to a domestic violence shelter NOW. Their staff can help you with the next steps. If you cannot afford an attorney, they can help you get one.

Well given your demeanor I am not the least bit surprised to hear you’re an old hand at divorce. What happened at your divorce hearing has no bearing on this. All though in all fairness the rest of your post to the O.P was sound.
Every case is unique nothing anyone has posted here has undone 3105.18
If anyone believes that Ohiogal is a divorce attorney, hey go ahead. I find it odd after reading posts at this family law board for a year. Saying to myself “is there ever going to be a divorce attorney post on this board to straighten out some of these kooky posters” Up until last night none ever came by. Then low, and behold I challenge a regularly consistently incorrect poster pointing out what the law says. Not what she wants it to say to fit her incorrect post, what it really says. Then all the sudden at 4:13 AM a poster was has only posted 3 times all 3 three dated 01-19-2006 none posted in family law forum.
Just happen to stop by, and announce that she was a divorce attorney. WOOW we never had any such luck posting on the Employment /labor board. Dig up an in state lawyer at 4:13 AM on a Friday night. Oh it gets better the lawyer shows little interest in the O.P, why she goes right to the insignificant flame war, and comments. Now I’m supposed to believe this on the level.
Sorry someone’s pulling wool, I have read enough posts by attorneys to know when a sham is going on.
This is real simple I posted what the law says; now you guys are arguing it does not say that.
In some posters view the law reads like this:

(C)(1) In determining whether spousal support is appropriate and reasonable, and in determining the nature, amount, and terms of payment, and duration of spousal support, which is payable either in gross or in installments, the court shall consider only the following factor, The duration of the marriage.

Unfortunately for the aggrieved whining poster the law says this:

(C)(1) In determining whether spousal support is appropriate and reasonable, and in determining the nature, amount, and terms of payment, and duration of spousal support, which is payable either in gross or in installments, the court shall consider all of the following factors:

(a) The income of the parties, from all sources, including, but not limited to, income derived from property divided, disbursed, or distributed under section 3105.171 of the Revised Code;
(b) The relative earning abilities of the parties;
(c) The ages and the physical, mental, and emotional conditions of the parties;
(d) The retirement benefits of the parties;
(e) The duration of the marriage;
(f) The extent to which it would be inappropriate for a party, because that party will be custodian of a minor child of the marriage, to seek employment outside the home;
(g) The standard of living of the parties established during the marriage;
(h) The relative extent of education of the parties;
(i) The relative assets and liabilities of the parties, including but not limited to any court-ordered payments by the parties;
(j) The contribution of each party to the education, training, or earning ability of the other party, including, but not limited to, any party’s contribution to the acquisition of a professional degree of the other party;
(k) The time and expense necessary for the spouse who is seeking spousal support to acquire education, training, or job experience so that the spouse will be qualified to obtain appropriate employment, provided the education, training, or job experience, and employment is, in fact, sought;
(l) The tax consequences, for each party, of an award of spousal support;
(m) The lost income production capacity of either party that resulted from that party’s marital responsibilities;
(n) Any other factor that the court expressly finds to be relevant and equitable
Now supposedly theres an attorney that says that’s wrong.Please please spare me that none sense.
The only apology I’m making is to the poor unfortunates that took the advice of M4 and her ilk.
However I will be keeping an eye on that crowd,and lining there silly posts with the real law.
Make no mistake about that,when it gets slow I’ll be looking,have a nice day.
JoeC

Well given your demeanor I am not the least bit surprised to hear you’re an old hand at divorce. What happened at your divorce hearing has no bearing on this. All though in all fairness the rest of your post to the O.P was sound.
Every case is unique nothing anyone has posted here has undone 3105.18
If anyone believes that Ohiogal is a divorce attorney, hey go ahead. I find it odd after reading posts at this family law board for a year. Saying to myself “is there ever going to be a divorce attorney post on this board to straighten out some of these kooky posters” Up until last night none ever came by. Then low, and behold I challenge a regularly consistently incorrect poster pointing out what the law says. Not what she wants it to say to fit her incorrect post, what it really says. Then all the sudden at 4:13 AM a poster was has only posted 3 times all 3 three dated 01-19-2006 none posted in family law forum.
Just happen to stop by, and announce that she was a divorce attorney. WOOW we never had any such luck posting on the Employment /labor board. Dig up an in state lawyer at 4:13 AM on a Friday night. Oh it gets better the lawyer shows little interest in the O.P, why she goes right to the insignificant flame war, and comments. Now I’m supposed to believe this on the level.
Sorry someone’s pulling wool, I have read enough posts by attorneys to know when a sham is going on.

Now supposedly theres an attorney that says that’s wrong.Please please spare me that none sense.
The only apology I’m making is to the poor unfortunates that took the advice of M4 and her ilk.
However I will be keeping an eye on that crowd,and lining there silly posts with the real law.
Make no mistake about that,when it gets slow I’ll be looking,have a nice day.
JoeC


Ohiogal is a real family law attorney. She, along with me, Baystategirl, mommyof4, and others also post on another site. Ohiogal was kind enough to register here after she was asked for help, specifically to assist you in learning the realities of family law. That's why a real attorney posted and why she was "dug up" so easily and quickly.

The reality of domestic abuse is that you need to find your own financial way and not depend on ANY support let alone spousal support. It isn't as difficult as one would think to do and many people choose to go it alone to live in a safer and better environment for their children.

There are multiple programs available to help you, contact your local women's shelter and they can get you financial planning and legal assistance.

Never ever drop domestic charges that are true and make sure to keep records of all incidents and file charges where necessary.

The amount of money a person makes plays absolutely no role in custody, providing a safe and loving environment for the child is all that matters.

The fact that you stayed with him, didn't file reports and are only bringing this up during a divorce will not sit well with the courts. You will need to back up your proof or not bring it up at all. The next time he gets physical, call the police and document everything.

Joe, you may speak on my demeanor all you wish. It will not change anything. Certainly, it will not change the law and how it is applied.

Demartin has a very noteworthy point. luvinsublime003, you need to accept that, even with a child, you cannot count on support from someone who is abusive. The amount of child support ordered may not be what you receive. When the father has an ax to grind (ie that they ended up paying the price for abusing you), until the court steps in with penalties for not paying the support, you may not see any.

In my case, regarding the second marriage specifically, this is what has happened. He is now 15K+ behind and the courts have yet to hold him accountable. However, with this, when I attended college to further my education, his support, or rather lack there of, helped me qualify for many grants and benefits (childcare) that allowed me to complete my degree. It was really a struggle for a couple of years, however, I can now afford to work 24 hours per week and pay all of my bills without his assistance. I can now put most of what I do receive into savings accounts for my children. The kids and I are safer. Our home is a lot more peaceful. Plus, my children will not grow up thinking abuse is okay.

BTW Joe, the "benefits" mentioned, did not once include any welfare benefits. Just thought I'd add that in there before you started bashing the women of this site again.

I am not saying she will get a spousal support award for life, and certainly do not guarantee her husband would pay it.
What I am saying is the Ohio code offers a good deal of flexibility to a woman in her circumstances. A good family attorney would do the utmost to make the most of an award for the client who is physical abused courts frown on that sort of thing.
Now Demartain post says: “The reality of domestic abuse is that you need to find your own financial way and not depend on ANY support let alone spousal support” Correct she should not depend on or expect it, but her attorney has a responsibility to get as much money as reasonably possible as the law allows.
Now as a house wife with little marketable skills the courts recognize the dilemma the O.P mentioned. The final decree of divorce the judge has several factors to consider in a spousal support award, as well as the length of time she can collect it.
These are the most noticeable in the O.P’s case:
(f) The extent to which it would be inappropriate for a party, because that party will be custodian of
a minor child of the marriage, to seek employment outside the home.

The judge looks at the age of the age of the minor child involved,and must weigh if the cost to the costodial parent. In the O.P’s case we are dealing with an infant.

(j) The contribution of each party to the education, training, or earning ability of the other party, including, but not limited to, any party’s contribution to the acquisition of a professional degree of the other party

Now we don’t know if she contributed to any thing toward a professional degree in such a short marriage. However if she did that is recoverable.

(k) The time and expense necessary for the spouse who is seeking spousal support to acquire education, training, or job experience so that the spouse will be qualified to obtain appropriate employment, provided the education, training, or job experience, and employment is, in fact, sought

This allows the judge to look at the employabilty of the spouse,and the cost of making the spouse employable.

(m) The lost income production capacity of either party that resulted from that party’s marital responsibilities

If the spouse earning capacity over the 2 year period fell that is recoverable

(n) Any other factor that the court expressly finds to be relevant and equitable.

This is the catch all clause; this gives the family court commissioner or judge the ability to factor in any thing not provided in the Ohio code. The judge has a lot of discretion in this regard

The notion that a judge would laugh at any of this; leads me to believe that Ohiogal is not an attorney or even knows what she is talking about, and if the O.P finds an attorney that finds any of this amusing, she had better look for another one.
Now this notion that I am “bashing the women of this site” is ridiculous on it face being the O.P is a women in distress looking for legal answers to her upcoming legal problems. I believe that focus seems to have been lost some where. She does not really care how this one got beat out of 15K;or this one did not collect spousal support for her 2 year marriage, so forget about it, or your kids needs love (which is obvious). No the question and the circumstances require a discussion of rules of evidence, the applicable code of her state. Attorney’s fees equitable distribution of assets, child custody, and support. Can she afford an attorney or should she file in forma pauperis to the court. Is she aware of all of the marital assets, or does the husband have sole control of the family finances.
All too often certain posters use this site use it as a spring board to bash posters with serious legal issues, start little flame wars. Then indulge in a little self aggrandizing. My guess would be because they are not happy with their own lot in life. I don’t have to name names. Everybody who reads these posts knows who they are and they are not fooling anyone over the age of 13.
This notion you never been divorce so don’t comment on any this, is lame. The only reason I posted on this site is I was shocked, and disturbed about a few bad apples over here that get there kicks out of knocking posters looking for assistance. They offer clever little smiley faces, twirling princess spelling, and grammar check, sarcasm flame wars thousands of posts with little substance, and not much else.
One thing is true I do more about labor law than family law, and to be honest family law is not a very comfortable subject for me .Divorce has a devastating impact on children ,leads to social decay, and expands the welfare state. I don’t like the idea of recommending such things. That is why when I read these posts I expect the responders to respond with a little bit more class. To be honest I would just as soon not have to post here at all. I am happy where I am at, telling employees to sue their employers.
Clean this place up I won’t be back PROMISE. If you don’t clean it up you will be amazed at how fast I can learn this. Most of the time I come over here, and read it looks like a subway station toilet. Rein in the bad apples amongst yourselves you know who they are. If you want be enablers, and conger up phantom attorneys to tell them their right, you don’t do them or this board any useful service. A poster with thousands of posts in a short period of time is either (1) really sharp (2) using the board as chat line (3) writing when they should be researching.
JoeC

The OP was in the Air Force, not only does she have skills, but she qualifies for multiple programs to help her and her family.

Unfortunately, so does the OP's soon to be Ex, states are simpathetic to addicts, I can't stand that!

I am not saying she will get a spousal support award for life, and certainly do not guarantee her husband would pay it.
What I am saying is the Ohio code offers a good deal of flexibility to a woman in her circumstances. A good family attorney would do the utmost to make the most of an award for the client who is physical abused courts frown on that sort of thing.
Now Demartain post says: “The reality of domestic abuse is that you need to find your own financial way and not depend on ANY support let alone spousal support” Correct she should not depend on or expect it, but her attorney has a responsibility to get as much money as reasonably possible as the law allows.
Now as a house wife with little marketable skills the courts recognize the dilemma the O.P mentioned. The final decree of divorce the judge has several factors to consider in a spousal support award, as well as the length of time she can collect it.
These are the most noticeable in the O.P’s case:
(f) The extent to which it would be inappropriate for a party, because that party will be custodian of
a minor child of the marriage, to seek employment outside the home.

The judge looks at the age of the age of the minor child involved,and must weigh if the cost to the costodial parent. In the O.P’s case we are dealing with an infant.

(j) The contribution of each party to the education, training, or earning ability of the other party, including, but not limited to, any party’s contribution to the acquisition of a professional degree of the other party

Now we don’t know if she contributed to any thing toward a professional degree in such a short marriage. However if she did that is recoverable.

(k) The time and expense necessary for the spouse who is seeking spousal support to acquire education, training, or job experience so that the spouse will be qualified to obtain appropriate employment, provided the education, training, or job experience, and employment is, in fact, sought

This allows the judge to look at the employabilty of the spouse,and the cost of making the spouse employable.

(m) The lost income production capacity of either party that resulted from that party’s marital responsibilities

If the spouse earning capacity over the 2 year period fell that is recoverable

(n) Any other factor that the court expressly finds to be relevant and equitable.

This is the catch all clause; this gives the family court commissioner or judge the ability to factor in any thing not provided in the Ohio code. The judge has a lot of discretion in this regard

The notion that a judge would laugh at any of this; leads me to believe that Ohiogal is not an attorney or even knows what she is talking about, and if the O.P finds an attorney that finds any of this amusing, she had better look for another one.
Now this notion that I am “bashing the women of this site” is ridiculous on it face being the O.P is a women in distress looking for legal answers to her upcoming legal problems. I believe that focus seems to have been lost some where. She does not really care how this one got beat out of 15K;or this one did not collect spousal support for her 2 year marriage, so forget about it, or your kids needs love (which is obvious). No the question and the circumstances require a discussion of rules of evidence, the applicable code of her state. Attorney’s fees equitable distribution of assets, child custody, and support. Can she afford an attorney or should she file in forma pauperis to the court. Is she aware of all of the marital assets, or does the husband have sole control of the family finances.
All too often certain posters use this site use it as a spring board to bash posters with serious legal issues, start little flame wars. Then indulge in a little self aggrandizing. My guess would be because they are not happy with their own lot in life. I don’t have to name names. Everybody who reads these posts knows who they are and they are not fooling anyone over the age of 13.
This notion you never been divorce so don’t comment on any this, is lame. The only reason I posted on this site is I was shocked, and disturbed about a few bad apples over here that get there kicks out of knocking posters looking for assistance. They offer clever little smiley faces, twirling princess spelling, and grammar check, sarcasm flame wars thousands of posts with little substance, and not much else.
One thing is true I do more about labor law than family law, and to be honest family law is not a very comfortable subject for me .Divorce has a devastating impact on children ,leads to social decay, and expands the welfare state. I don’t like the idea of recommending such things. That is why when I read these posts I expect the responders to respond with a little bit more class. To be honest I would just as soon not have to post here at all. I am happy where I am at, telling employees to sue their employers.
Clean this place up I won’t be back PROMISE. If you don’t clean it up you will be amazed at how fast I can learn this. Most of the time I come over here, and read it looks like a subway station toilet. Rein in the bad apples amongst yourselves you know who they are. If you want be enablers, and conger up phantom attorneys to tell them their right, you don’t do them or this board any useful service. A poster with thousands of posts in a short period of time is either (1) really sharp (2) using the board as chat line (3) writing when they should be researching.
JoeC


I personally know OhioGal...and know for A FACT she is a Family Law attorney in Ohio...So are you gonna call me a lier or admit that you may be wrong??

I'm sure thats true Demartain she should contact the V.A. The point I am making is her attorney has to do the utmost for the client under the Model Rules of Professional Conduct,under the familiar cannon #7
He/She is not going to dismiss all the elements laid out 3105.18 C.1(a) through (n) She should have a full understanding of what she is legally entitled to before proceeding to an attorney, so the attorney realizes she did some research. If for no other reason than OhioGal is a real attorney, who maybe wants to think the cannon #7 is as irrelevant as O.R.C 3105.18. Other than a V.A loan possible funds under the Montgomery G.I bill,is their any thing else you are aware of ?
All though as you point out the courts may bend a little for substance abuse it also adds to Cause under O.R.C 3105.01:
(D) Extreme cruelty
(F) Any gross neglect of duty;
(G) Habitual drunkenness;
So cause is easy to establish.
JoeC

Baystate girl if she is a real family attorney she is piss poor and I would not recommend her to the O.P given the way she reviewed the O.P statement.
Courts of law are not posting boards there are no flame wars,attorneys don't lend themselves to that hootenanny.
JoeC

Your husband will not be obligated to support YOU . . .

Come on folks, in all fairness here, the responses are unhelpful, none is 100% correct, and after the first one almost every one is just personal bickering.

Mommy stated a gross generality that is not 100% correct (and also attempts to predict the future) according to statute. JoeC pointed out it's not 100% correct according to statute and Mommy tried to recover by providing reasons why her prediction was the best. From there, almost everybody posting just backs up their own prediction or provides anecdotal evidence apparently meant to persuade that whatever happened is the universal predicted outcome.


No one here is able to predict the future. At best, someone may be able to state what is likely to happen, but it's only credible if it's based on some experience and logic.

When someone states an absolute rule, you set yourself up for someone to point out the exceptions (or the statute that allows exactly what you stated will not happen).


At the risk of being made fun of, we all need to be more kind to each other in our posts, and especially to the original poster. OP's come here seeking advice. Personal bickering, meanness and one-upmanship usually just undermines the credibility of poster.

Don't look back to answer this question: Does anyone remember the OP's original question?

Yes, she wanted to know what she should do because her abusive husband (who she never followed through on filing charges) told her that if she left, he would keep the child, she is a SAHM mother by mutual agreement, she doesn't know how she is going to support herself, and she is scared. They were both in the Air Force and she has been married for a short time (2 years, if I remember correctly).

My answer was correct. IF she is awarded support, it will be for a short duration, only. (Which I clarified for Joe). She is capable of finding a job to support herself. Being a SAHM mother does not mean she will lose custody (nor does it mean she will be granted SOLE custody). They will both be responsible for supporting the child.

IF she is awarded support, it will be for a short duration, only.

Is this not a jury issue?


I haven't found anyone that can accurately predict what a jury absolutely will do.

The original question was "I want to know everything I can about obtaining full custody of my daughter. If anyone is out there that can help or give me reasonable advice please do so."

Is this not a jury issue?


I haven't found anyone that can accurately predict what a jury absolutely will do.

The original question was "I want to know everything I can about obtaining full custody of my daughter. If anyone is out there that can help or give me reasonable advice please do so."

OP has been advised on her options...

Is this not a jury issue?


I haven't found anyone that can accurately predict what a jury absolutely will do.

The original question was "I want to know everything I can about obtaining full custody of my daughter. If anyone is out there that can help or give me reasonable advice please do so."

GOL...Are you an attorney?? Please tell me why you think that a probate issue would go in front of a jury?

GOL...Are you an attorney?? Please tell me why you think that a probate issue would go in front of a jury?

Yes, I'm an attorney.

Spousal support is usually a jury question.

Ohio does not permit jury trials in divorce cases.

Ohio does not permit jury trials in divorce cases.Who decides spousal support in Ohio?

Who decides spousal support in Ohio?

The judge.:rolleyes:

Most states do not have jury trials for divorce. Ga does and Tx does, I know. Texas is the only state that still allows juries to decide on child custody matters. (It's very, very rare). I believe there are only 10 or 11 states that allow jury trial for divorce to begin with, and in most of those states the juries are limited to deciding grounds for divorce.

Who decides spousal support in Ohio?

As an attorney, one would think that you would know the answer BEFORE advising the OP.

The judge.:rolleyes:

Most states do not have jury trials for divorce. Ga does and Tx does, I know. Texas is the only state that still allows juries to decide on child custody matters. (It's very, very rare). I believe there are only 10 or 11 states that allow jury trial for divorce to begin with, and in most of those states the juries are limited to deciding grounds for divorce.

Well, in that event, I have never heard of anyone who can accurately predict absolutely what a yet to be named judge will do when given discretion.

As an attorney, one would think that you would know the answer BEFORE advising the OP.

1) I didn't advise the OP.

2) I asked a question that needed clarification.

3) Your arrogance and personal remarks detract from your professionalism.

1) I didn't advise the OP.

2) I asked a question that needed clarification.

3) Your arrogance and personal remarks detract from your professionalism.

And you would be the pot or the kettle today? Some lawyer, what are you and ambulance chaser? Maybe you should leave the family law to those that know something instead of flapping your gums.

1) I didn't advise the OP.

2) I asked a question that needed clarification.

3) Your arrogance and personal remarks detract from your professionalism.

And you would be the pot or the kettle today? Some lawyer, what are you and ambulance chaser? Maybe you should leave the family law to those that know something instead of flapping your gums.

Nice try.

1) I didn't advise the OP.

2) I asked a question that needed clarification.

3) Your arrogance and personal remarks detract from your professionalism.

Yes, I'm an attorney.

Spousal support is usually a jury question.

You should have the integrity to at least google up a correct answer before posting...:rolleyes:


Your lack of legal knowledge detract form your professionalism. You should know better than to post an answer that is not applicable to the state in question...

You should have the integrity to at least google up a correct answer before posting...:rolleyes:


Your lack of legal knowledge detract form your professionalism. You should know better than to post an answer that is not applicable to the state in question...

So spousal support is usually a probate issue as you stated?

Must be nice to be able to be so absolute and omniscient.

Ga, just admit that you were wrong and let it go. Ga law has nothing to do with Ohio law.

The fact is that the OP is 22, has served in the military, is apparently not disabled, and has only been married for 2 years. As has been stated, IF she is awarded any spousal support, it will be for a very short duration. She will be deemed capable of working as she is young, healthy, and must have some basic skill. Further, she has NOT been married long enough to need her husband to maintain the lifestyle she is accustomed to. Hell, if they were both in the military, she can probably do better on her own. (Military pay for enlisted isn't the greatest.) The points I have just listed will weigh heavily in any judge's decision as to whether or not she will be awarded support.

My point has been that the law allows spousal support (agreed? - though not likely) and you can't say what a judge will do for certain. As you have just stated "The points I have just listed will weigh heavily in any judge's decision . . ." - that seems to acknowledge you cannot state with 100% certainty what will happen, correct? The first post you made stated absolutely that she WILL NOT get support, and that's simply going further than you can go toward predicting the future - perhaps not likely in your opinion, but not out of the realm of possible either.

Tell me what I'm wrong about, I'll be glad to retract it. All I can think of is that I asked if spousal support is a jury question, to which I received a straight answer that it is not.

I'm not wrong that absolute statements are probably not 100% correct 100% of the time or that, in general, the posters on this board have a vitriole for others that is over the top.

Thank you for at least being civil in your post to me. One of my original points was how ridiculously mean spirited the posts had become.

And if you will go back and read WHERE and WHO made those posts hostile (as he has a long history of doing) you will see where I clarified my original statement (post # 3).

I also find it very telling that Joe thought it was a good idea to have an Ohio atty answer this post, and when she did, Joe didn't like the answer. He then reverted to type and started insulting another person. It's a pattern with him.

I know who started the food fight, but a lot of people were slinging hash.

I do see in the 4th post where you made a substantial change to your original absolute position. I'm admitting I was wrong.

Now I'm moving on.

O.K I'll clean up my mess the rest of you clean up yours. I did my deletes.
JoeC