I have a ten year old daughter whose father has only seen her 20 hours since October 8th 2006 (that is when I started tracking the time); he is an alcoholic and lives with his mother. My issue is I raise her and told him, he is more than welcomed to see her anytime he wants but since his mother is on Oxygen 24 hours a day and both she and he smoke, that our daughter is not allowed to his house. He can take her to the movies, Bowling, the park or stay at my house to visit with her. The father and I were never married and the only court order custody agreement we had was over 6 years ago when I had a PFA against him. He does pay his child support, so he is not a total dead beat dad - he just rather drink than talk or spend time with his child. Now finally here are my questions - should I go to court to enforce the rule of him not taking her to his house? Would a court even do that? honestly I would fear for her safety when she would go to his house - they smoke over 2 packs a day each and she doesn't need to breath that in and with her grandmother on oxygen I am just waiting for her to catch on fire and don't want my child there when it happens.

what exactly does your court order say about kiddos time with dad?

Hi Zephyr,

The PFA that was court ordered had visitation Tuesday, Thursday's from 6 - 8 at my parents home, he was not allowed to take her anywhere. Thanks for replying...

if that's the most recent court order then that's the only one you are required to follow

Thank you so much -- after reading all these post's my issues are really small... geez -- but I appreciate you taking the time to help me...

it would not be a bad idea to get your court order to reflect the current situation, but the court cannot fault you for following the court order you do have

Thank you so much -- after reading all these post's my issues are really small... geez -- but I appreciate you taking the time to help me...

Please don't feel like your issues are small, they are important. I used to do home health, quite often I'd have to go into a patient's home when they were on oxygen and when they'd try to light up a cigarette, I would always tell them that they could blow themselves up if they wanted, but they weren't going to take me with them. I only had one patient who refused to not smoke, and the agency I worked for dropped him as a patient because he was endangering the nurses' lives.

Fortunately, you have an existing court order that solves the problem for you, just insist that the visitations are strictly by the order. If he's dumb enough to try to take it to court, most likely a Judge would see things they way you do, because it is a dangerous situation for your child to be in.

EXACTLY-don't back down. Let him push the issue in court if he wants to.