Ok, so I have been trying to help my sister gain back full custody, or to be the custodial parent. Last year she filed for full cusody, and then her x-boyfriend did too. My sister had a public defender lawer, and he had a really good expensive lawer. My sister filed for custody, basically because he keep threating to get full custody of my niece if my sister didn't do exactly like he asked, and because if he got mad at my sister he would literially walk in to my sisters house and take my niece, or snach her outta the car, or outta my sister arms.
He is a control freak, and when they were going to consoling to learn work together, to take care of my niece. He wouldn't listen or perticipate in anything that they were learning, and still would just be an *** to my sister. (they took these classes as before they were fighting for custody, then had to take them again court ordered.) He still wanted to be with my sister and would call text e-mail me about how to get her back. He was obssessed with her. Even their counsler pulled my sister aside, and warned my sister about him. Saying that he was obssessive and that he could be dangerous and that his one link to my sister was my niece and that he was using her to get to my sister, and would continue too.

For example, after stocking her at the grochery store, he waited in the parking lot, in my sister's car for her too come out of the store. He made a huge deal about her talking to a guy in the store attempted to take my niece right out of my sisters arms. When my sister wouldnt let him have her, he went crazy, screaming and yelling. My sister was able to get my niece in her car seat, and started to drive away, he then attempted to remove her from the moving vehicle.
That is just some of the things he did he also threw my niece arcross the room when she was 15 mo old, for dropping a cup of ice on his floor. I wittness that my self and removed my sister and the baby from the house.
My sister was never married to the father, it was on off and on again relationship before and after my niece.
Just yesterday, my sister called me and said that she is at her wits end with this guy. She wants to know how she can get full custody of her daughter with him getting visitation. Or even to where that she has her more then the father has her.
My niece doent like her dad, she has to be forced to go with him every time, and she is in counsling for everything that she has been through.
My sister had documented everything that has happened, both good and bad.
She wants to know how to go about going to court, not mediation and getting cusody or more cusody of my niece. He boyfriend has offered to help her with a lawer, and everything. She just wants to know if she has to wait a certin about of time or if she is allowed to just file. The last custody agreement was finallized in Aug of 06. Or if she should wait and try to build a better case agaist him.
As it stands now he takes my niece about 60% of the times he is suposed to and if he does actually get her half of that time he just drops her off at his parents house and never actually spends time with her. They are each suposed to have her 3-4 days a week alternating the week they get her for 4 days.

Ok, so I have been trying to help my sister gain back full custody, or to be the custodial parent. Last year she filed for full cusody, and then her x-boyfriend did too. My sister had a public defender lawer, and he had a really good expensive lawer. My sister filed for custody, basically because he keep threating to get full custody of my niece if my sister didn't do exactly like he asked, and because if he got mad at my sister he would literially walk in to my sisters house and take my niece, or snach her outta the car, or outta my sister arms.
He is a control freak, and when they were going to consoling to learn work together, to take care of my niece. He wouldn't listen or perticipate in anything that they were learning, and still would just be an *** to my sister. (they took these classes as before they were fighting for custody, then had to take them again court ordered.) He still wanted to be with my sister and would call text e-mail me about how to get her back. He was obssessed with her. Even their counsler pulled my sister aside, and warned my sister about him. Saying that he was obssessive and that he could be dangerous and that his one link to my sister was my niece and that he was using her to get to my sister, and would continue too.

For example, after stocking her at the grochery store, he waited in the parking lot, in my sister's car for her too come out of the store. He made a huge deal about her talking to a guy in the store attempted to take my niece right out of my sisters arms. When my sister wouldnt let him have her, he went crazy, screaming and yelling. My sister was able to get my niece in her car seat, and started to drive away, he then attempted to remove her from the moving vehicle.
That is just some of the things he did he also threw my niece arcross the room when she was 15 mo old, for dropping a cup of ice on his floor. I wittness that my self and removed my sister and the baby from the house.
My sister was never married to the father, it was on off and on again relationship before and after my niece.
Just yesterday, my sister called me and said that she is at her wits end with this guy. She wants to know how she can get full custody of her daughter with him getting visitation. Or even to where that she has her more then the father has her.
My niece doent like her dad, she has to be forced to go with him every time, and she is in counsling for everything that she has been through.
My sister had documented everything that has happened, both good and bad.
She wants to know how to go about going to court, not mediation and getting cusody or more cusody of my niece. He boyfriend has offered to help her with a lawer, and everything. She just wants to know if she has to wait a certin about of time or if she is allowed to just file. The last custody agreement was finallized in Aug of 06. Or if she should wait and try to build a better case agaist him.
As it stands now he takes my niece about 60% of the times he is suposed to and if he does actually get her half of that time he just drops her off at his parents house and never actually spends time with her. They are each suposed to have her 3-4 days a week alternating the week they get her for 4 days.

Before she can file to modify the existing court order, she'll need to be able to prove a substancial change in circumstances. It doesn't sound like she has that yet.

That was what I was telling her that she needed to wait and keep building up her case. She was saying that since she has my niece most the time anyway, and his parents have her more then he does that she would be able to maybe at least modify the custody.
My niece also told her counsuler and my sister that her dad's girl friend duct tapes her daughters mouth shut and locks her in the bedroom when she crys. She wouldnt answer them when they asked if she did the same thing to her. Couldnt my sister have it so that his girlfriend couldnt be around my niece, for reasons like this?
The girlfriend lives with the dad, and they just recently had a baby in March, and she has a two year old daughter. They all live in a 2 bedroom apartment above a mortuary. My sister said that she drove past the house the other day, and the girls where crawling out the window with the dog. There is a small roof from the window, and then a good 30-35 ft drop to the back yard. (the girls are two, and three) My sister was tempted to call child services on them, but she doesnt want to start anything with him. Would she be able to use stuff like this?

you know- any time he is harrassing her like that, stalking her in the store, hanging out by her car, waiting for her to come out- entering her car....SHE SHOULD BE CALLING THE POLICE!!!!

you know- any time he is harrassing her like that, stalking her in the store, hanging out by her car, waiting for her to come out- entering her car....SHE SHOULD BE CALLING THE POLICE!!!!

I told her that too, but she tries to be the peace keeper. She doesnt wanna stir up trouble. I did finally get her to call the police when he violated the court order the day after it was in place, by taking my niece from my sisters house without permisson and refusing to return her.

if she does not call the police each and every time- then she will not be able to use the incidents in court when it DOES come time to get some sort of order of protection- if there isn't documentation of an event then IT DIDN"T happen- really this is COURT and could become life or death- screw peacekeeping- she needs to protect herself and her child:rolleyes:

if she does not call the police each and every time- then she will not be able to use the incidents in court when it DOES come time to get some sort of order of protection- if there isn't documentation of an event then IT DIDN"T happen- really this is COURT and could become life or death- screw peacekeeping- she needs to protect herself and her child:rolleyes:

The incedent where he came and took her from my sister's house, my sister did call the cops, but she didnt press charges and she didn't make a police report. When she called her lawer, and he lawer told her that it wouldnt make any difference if she pressed charges or made a report. So my sister never did, She had a lousy lawer.
I told her to press charges, and she didnt because the lawer. He has a new girlfriend and new baby now, so he has mellowed out with my sister for the time being. I am sure its from lack of sleep.
My sister is really sick of having to force my niece kicking and screaming to her dad's house, and the behavioral problems and what not my niece has devoloped. She just wants a more stable enviroment for my niece.
Then when she told her therapist the the father's Girlfriend duct taped her own daugter's mouth when she cries. My sister and the thearapist both asked my niece if she does it to her and she would change the subject and avoid the question. My sister doesnt want the GF around my niece. For good reason, but isnt sure how she would be able to do that.
The thing that really bothered her was seeing the girls playing on the window roof, if they would fall off of it, I am sure it would kill them if not seriously hurt them.
My sister wasnt sure what to do, she wanted to call child services, but its in another city 30 miles away, and she thought that it might look bad for her case if she did that and she would call the cops. The father is a cop and is friends with the cops, so I am not sure that would do her any good.

My Sister called me just now and told me that she had just talked to the x-boyfriend. He told her that he and his girlfriend were moving about 2 hours away. So what should she do now?

She needs to take the boyfriend up on his offer to get a lawyer, and get one NOW! She also needs to start pressing charges, or the ex is going to continue to get away with everything! You can, please talk her into going to counseling for battered womens syndrome. She is classic, being abused (being pulled out of a moving car), and NOT pressing charges. She should go to meetings with other battered women. Mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. I don't know if there is much that can be done with the accusations against the girlfriend, if the child is not willing to talk about it. A good lawyer would be all over that. I would ask the counselor to continue to try to get the child to open up, or see if there is some sort of "threatening reason", that the child does not want to talk about it. If the ex is a cop, and he does anything, like going against a court order, she should not just press charges, but should speak to that officers Captain. He/she would not want the public to hear of such things, and would be down that officers throat for even giving a hint of a bad name to the presinct (sp?). A trained officer also can be charged alot more than a civilian for such an offense because of thier extensive training in self defense, and how to get a felon down quick, the charge could go from assault and battery, to assault with a deadly weapon. Please, get counseling for her, and get that attorney quick! She will still have to commute the child back and forth without an attorney to fight for the ex to do all the driving, because he is the one who is choosing to move. It is only 2 hours away, the courts will not change the visitation just because of a move like that, sorry. She must come up with more when she tries for full custody. START PRESSING CHARGES, LET HIM KNOW YOU MEAN BUSSINESS!! IF SHE DOES NOT, CHANCES ARE THE CHILD WILL ALSO BE ABUSED IN THE HOME!

She needs to take the boyfriend up on his offer to get a lawyer, and get one NOW! She also needs to start pressing charges, or the ex is going to continue to get away with everything! You can, please talk her into going to counseling for battered womens syndrome. She is classic, being abused (being pulled out of a moving car), and NOT pressing charges. She should go to meetings with other battered women. Mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. I don't know if there is much that can be done with the accusations against the girlfriend, if the child is not willing to talk about it. A good lawyer would be all over that. I would ask the counselor to continue to try to get the child to open up, or see if there is some sort of "threatening reason", that the child does not want to talk about it. If the ex is a cop, and he does anything, like going against a court order, she should not just press charges, but should speak to that officers Captain. He/she would not want the public to hear of such things, and would be down that officers throat for even giving a hint of a bad name to the presinct (sp?). A trained officer also can be charged alot more than a civilian for such an offense because of thier extensive training in self defense, and how to get a felon down quick, the charge could go from assault and battery, to assault with a deadly weapon. Please, get counseling for her, and get that attorney quick! She will still have to commute the child back and forth without an attorney to fight for the ex to do all the driving, because he is the one who is choosing to move. It is only 2 hours away, the courts will not change the visitation just because of a move like that, sorry. She must come up with more when she tries for full custody. START PRESSING CHARGES, LET HIM KNOW YOU MEAN BUSSINESS!! IF SHE DOES NOT, CHANCES ARE THE CHILD WILL ALSO BE ABUSED IN THE HOME!



thank you for saving me typing all that!!! I agree totally!

thank you for saving me typing all that!!! I agree totally!
Anytime, I think I will go soak my hands now lol!:p

I guess I should clarify a little bit, I called sister back and talked to her for a few hours, so now I know a little more.
First of all, her x-boy friend did abuse her physically when she lived with him. She just admitted this to me when she told her x husband and he told me. (I was very angry, but its in the past and not my business)
Second he wasnt trying to pull my sister out, he was trying to pull my 2 yr old niece (at the time) out of the car. She managed to distract him long enough to strap her into the car seat. He then argued with her for a few mins outside the car, and then she said she was sick of fighting with him, and started to drive off. He managed to open the car door, and then attempted to take my niece outta her car. She was kicking and screaming at the top of her lungs and very scared. My sister speed up and he fell out of the car, she then stoped to close the door. By the time she stopped he was running after my sister, and yelling she made a quick dead stop, leaned over and slammed the door and drove off again. When she stopped he full on ran at the car and hurt himself. He tried to press charges but since there were so many wittnesses to it they didnt stick.

He was a cop in a different city than the one they live in, but he is still friends with the cops in the tiny town they live in. The cops have harassed my sister several times because of him.
When I talked to her last night she told me that he was fired, and that is why he needs to move. He cant get a job in the county that he lives in now, and would have to go to Denver, or Colorado Springs for work. His dad lives in Denver so that is probably where he will move. Which depending on the weather and how fast he drives is 2 to 3 hours away from where my sister lives.
My niece is in school, now and already enrolled for next year too, along with the gf's daughter. I dont know how that would work. (oh, and it is only preschool, but its in the court order that unless its a special vacation or sick she is to attend school. That was one of the things that my sister had put in there, because she is very, very smart and she wants to keep her stimulated)

Then they have 50/50 custody and have equal parenting time, my sister has her from Wed/Thurs to Sat night or Sun morning depending on when dad gets my niece. The weeks alternate to when mom and dad have the extra day. In the custody order now the parent whos turn it is to have her is responsible for the pick up. How would that work if the order isnt changed? Would that mean that my sister would have to go to Denver to get the baby for her time and he would get the baby from BV? What about the schooling?

Then on a different note that talked in more detail when my sister got off the phone with me the first time and called to talk to him. He is intimidated by sisters current boyfriend so when she called and talked to him she was able to talk better. He told her he would let her have full custody, but he wanted her for the summer. I told my sister not to believe him because he has made agreements with her before and at the last min changed them. I told her to go to court and have it done leagally. If he is in agreement with letting her have full custody what would she need to do? (He could be in total agreement now and then later may change his mind)

I guess I should clarify a little bit, I called sister back and talked to her for a few hours, so now I know a little more.
First of all, her x-boy friend did abuse her physically when she lived with him, but not since and she just admitted this to me when she told her x husband and he told me. (I was very angry, but is in the past and not my business)
Second he wasnt trying to pull my sister out, he was trying to pull my 2 yr old niece (at the time) out of the car. She managed to distract him long enough to strap her into the car seat. He then argued with her for a few mins outside the car, and then she said she was sick of fighting with him, and started to drive off. He managed to open the car door, and then attempted to take my niece outta her car, she was kicking and screaming at the top of her lungs and very scared. So my sister speed up and he fell out of the car, she then stoped to close the door. By the time she stopped he, was running after my sister, and yelling she made a quick dead stop, leaned over and slammed the door and drove off again. When she stopped he full on run hit the car and hurt himself. Tried to press charges but since there were so many wittnesses to it they didnt stick.

He was a cop in a different city than the one they live in, but he is still friends with the cops in the tiny town they live in. The cops have harassed my sister several times because of him.
When I talked to her last night she told me that he was fired, and that is why he needs to move. He cant get a job in the county that he lives in now, and would have to go to Denver, or Colorado Springs for work. His dad lives in Denver so that is probably where he will move. Which depending on the weather and how fast he drives is 2 to 3 hours away from where my sister lives.
My niece is in school, now and already enrolled for next year too, along with the gf's daughter. So I dont know how that would work. (oh, and it is only preschool, but its in the court order that unless its a special vacation or sick she is to attend school. That was one of the things that my sister had put in there, because she is very, very smart and she wants to keep her stimulated)

Then they have 50/50 custody and have equal parenting time, my sister has her from Wed/Thurs to Sat night or Sun morning depending on when dad gets my niece. The weeks alternate to when mom and dad have the extra day. In the custody order now the parent whos turn it is to have her is responsible for the pick up. So how would that work if the order isnt changed? Would that mean that my sister would have to go to Denver to get the baby for her time and he would get the baby from BV? What about the schooling?

Then on a different note that talked in more detail when my sister got off the phone with me the first time and called to talk to him. He is intemidated by sisters current boyfriend so when she called and talked to him she was able to talk better. He told her he would let her have full custody, but he wanted her for the summer. I told my sister not to believe him because he has made agreements with her before and at the last min changed them. I told her to go to court and have it done leagally. So if he is in agreement with letting her have full custody what would she need to do? (Like I said he is talk now do stuff different so he could be in total agreement and then later may change his mind)

Yes, he would have to come pick her up, and she would have to go pick her up, when it is her turn. If this agreement can be agreed apon by his and hers lawyer, and done properly through the courts, he can not change his mind, he could only file for a modification of the original court agreement on this. That would be hard to do, for modifications have to have a reason, not just he doesn't feel like it anymore. This plan will save him alot of commuting, so I doubt he would want to change the plan. Just make sure it goes through the courts, and the lawyers, never just a verbal agreement, because nothing will prevent him from changing his mind 100 times, if he wishes. Have her, and him, and thier two lawyers meet for the paperwork to be drawn up, and have the visitation modified. Since he was fired, that also shows that the police did not want him as an officer any more, probably because he is such a loose cannon, and a liability to the department. If the harrasment from other officers continue, tell her to document everything, and then have her lawyer send a threatening letter to the Captain of the department, that he will not allow her to be harrassed by the ones whom are there to protect and serve. Once a Captain is made aware of this, and nothing gets done, and things continuously happen to her by officers, then a harrasment lawsuit could be an option, and the Captain knows this. I bet it would stop happening. She would still get in trouble if she broke any laws, so tell her to stay right with the law.

I highly doubt that if he does decided to move that he would drive 2 to 3 hrs to drop her off and pick her up from school. That would mean that he would have to have her up at about 3 am to get her ready for school. Then he would have to drive all the way back to pick her up from school. I doubt he would do that.
I just dont want my sister to get in trouble for him not having his parenting time. She would go get her, and bring her home. I dont think he would, plus he would get into trouble when she isnt in school.
So in my mind this set up with the distance wouldnt make sense I would think that once he does move it would have to be changed. Who wants to drive 3 hrs twice a day, that expensive especially since its all mountain driving and with $3.80 gas prices.
I think this is a huge change in surcmstances! Plus my sister is trying to get it so that Girl friend is not allowed around daughter due to thigs she does to her own daughter. That is another huge thing.
Niether of them have lawers as of yet, my sisters boyfriend said at any point she could use his. X-boyfriend has no lawer and cant afford one. Mommy cant help this time either.

I think it is time for an attorney now, she should take the boyfriend up on it!