Here we go again. Many of you have given me great advice pertaining to my situation regarding my seeking sole custody of my children as a result of the mother meeting a real loser who has made the childrens lives a living hell to put it mildly. Most recent developments:

On 4/14/07 I received a call from the mother asking if I could pick our daughters up early (normally pick up on Sunday) due to the mother and children being forced to "hide out" from the boyfriend from Thursday 4/12 evening until Saturday when I picked them up, even causing them to miss school oFriday 4/13 as a result of hiding. The boyfriend was told they were staying in a "safe house" but in reality they were staying in the basement of a house owned by a friend of the mothers. The mother said, "This hiding out is too stressful on our 5 yr old and I need you to come get them ". She swore up and down that this was it, it was over between her and the boyfriend but come Sunday 4/15, she already decided to give him yet another chance. Meanwhile she signed a document I prepared that was signed before a notary, admitting that the ongoing conflicts have created an unstable environment for the children and has agreed to allow them to stay in my care until 1) they seek counseling and I personally meet with the counselor at the time counselor suggests that things have improved and 2) until children feel comfortable going back with the boyfriend in the home. The mother initially agreed to an in house protection from abuse order against the boyfriend but later said she didn't want that "hanging over his head". She also suggested possibly having "supervised visitation" with the children, further admitting they are in harms way.
My oldest daughter is adomant against returning to her mothers home as long as the boyfriend is there and my 5 yr old is scared as well.
My predicament is this. The last time I met with the judge he stated, "if the plaintiff (me) brings this case into court for hearing and there are any new issues brought before his attention, there are going to be changes made". I feel wholeheartedly he is on my side on this one and I plan to represent myself as funds have been wiped out and I can no longer afford an attorney, but in the same breath can't see money being a reason to NOT fight for my childrens happiness, since I'm not the one doing wrong here.

I tried to obtain police reports where the mother has repeatedly called the police on the boyfriend during their big "blow ups" but the police tell me I need to get the records via a subpoena through the courthouse . The courthouse tells me a subpoerna is $3.50 each . Do I need a seperate subpoena for EACH record or can one subpoena cover all records within a specified period where the mother has called the police on this boyfriend? What is the process for an individual without an attorney to subpoena the necessary records to prove my case? I would think the signed document before a notary is a big help but I don't want the fact that she herself has called the police on this guy being disputed as I think that is very important to let the judge know to help justify my children being scared of him.

My oldest daughter is tired of being told , "it's over" just to hear the mother say, "we kissed and made up" leaving the opportunity for the same events to repeat themselves. She feels that her mother has chosen the boyfriend over her children which in essence she has. I told the mother that while they are with me she has my permission to call them DAILY if she so chooses but since 4/14 she has called here ONE time!! Lack of interest?? I can't be sure as this guy controls her every move so he could be preventing her fromm caling them, I do not know, but if this is the case, she is allowing him to prevent it and two wrongs don't make a right.

I also have the absence note I turned in to my daughters school(s) for missing 4/13 and described in detail why they missed school and also made it real clear that my daughters, especially the 5 yr old NOT be picked up by anyone but me until this matter is resolved. My oldest daughter knows not to go with the boyfriend but the 5 yr old may become confused.

I don't doubt that they love their mother but the mother seems to continuously put her needs in front of the needs of our daughters and if she, at 39 years old fears this man at times, imagine how my children feel.

If someone could kindly give me some advice here I would greatly appreciate it. You could very well be helping 2 beautiful children in the process and any and all advice is most welcome.

the piece of paper she signed is worthless if she is the custodial parent. She can pick the children up any time that she is allowed until a court tells her otherwise. You need to file an emergency hearing to modify custody based on her living situation. I am not sure on how whether 1 will cover everything at the courthouse or not, but I would take as many as needed in order to get all the records. How old is the oldest? Old enough to express her feelings and reasonings to a judge. And until the school has a court order saying she cannot pick them up, if she can show she has joint legal custody- the school can't stop her. I feel for you- honest. My stepdaughter's mom has waltzed in and out of her life for 9 years and lost her 2 other kids for the "man" she wants to be with. The ones that hurt are the kids

My oldest is 14 yrs old, 15 in October. She had already spilled her guts to the judge in November 2006 at a conference with just her , the judge and the two attorney's but in court, the mother denied all the accusations and the judge bought the mothers story over my daughters. At least now, the document she signed is basically admission to what I have been trying to get across to the judge since I began fighting for custody.........her home is an unstable environment for the children. I do intend on taking this back into court even though the signed document was an effort on the mothers part to keep me from getting the courts involved. I told her I needed the signed document moreso to protect me then her in the event she chose to file contempt charges against me saying I kept the children without her permission. So in the meantime, if she claims the counselor says things have been straightened out but my children still fear going to her home on account of the boyfriend still being there, does my permission to keep the girls end? It does state that she is letting me keep the children in my care until such time a counselor validates that necesssary improvements have been made within the home AND until such time that children feel comfortable returning to her home. Still curious how to subpoena police records without an attorney. Just want to have all my supporting evidence in hand prior to filing for an emergency hearing as I cannot afford to lose for my daughters sake.

what I am saying is that if that paper stating she won't get them back without counselor ok, etc is worthless unless a judge signed off on it. She can get them and keep them at any time. It doesn't matter if she agreed to it, signed it, had is notarized, etc. If she has a court order that gives her custody- she can still file suit against you for keeping them. It would then be a he said she said case. Can you prove you didn't force her into signing?

Well I would have no problem with her filing suit against me to get them back because whether she takes this to court or I take it to court, it's going to court before I "willingly" give them back. The only proof she "wasn't" forced into signing the paper is 1) her boyfriend and her both were at the notary office and no words were exchanged between us during the signing with the exception of a question she asked of me, which I answered. 2)The notary could certainly validate that she wasn't under any pressure by me to sign the form. The only pressure she was under was knowing that if she didn't sign it, I was going into court that day to file a petition, but again, if no wrong doing is taking place on her part, she wouldn't have cared. I can't see a mother who claims to love her children FORCING her children to go back with her if she knows they are scared of her boyfriend. It's about choices. She'll either choose to kick the boyfriend out of her life as she has said she was doing on several occasions already, or wait until the children are comfortable around him. Seeing what I have seen in the past where she is concerned, the children's feelings won't matter to her one bit and I will need to take this to court anyway, so if she takes me or I take her, court seems to be the only way to resolve this. It's just that my daughter, the 14 yr old is scared of court knowing the judge sent them back home with her one time befiore. Only difference is that I didn't have as much against her when I took her initially. Just need them police reports to prove he has been a danger to the mother and I feel that will make my argument about the children's safety while in her care more convincing.