I have been divorced now for 3 years. My ex-husband had an affair with my best friend and left me, they are now married. I cannot afford an attorney and am confused on what I can do and how I can do things to protect my daughter. My story is long so I appologize ahead of time.

When my ex left me I had just had surgery and was still recouperating. His daughter from a previous marriage was living with us and when he left he refused to take her and so I was left with our daughter and his daughter (ages 7 & 11). His mother is married to a VERY rich man and he and the former BF made sure that they smeared my name to her making sure that she woudl help them out financially. It took us a year and our divorce was final. I was given custody of both my daughter and his and he was ordered to pay chilsd support $645 per month, plus 60% of the day care and half of medical bills. He would never pay the support and if he did it was $100 at a time. His daughte lived with me for 1 1/2 years when she returned to her mother (her rights had been stripped) I was relieved because the girl hated me and resented me because her dad didnt live there, It was easier for her to blame me than her dad.

I tried giving him chances and finally wrote to my ex-father inlaw and asked him to please speak with my ex, I explained that I was struggling to make ends meet and did not want to have to take him into court but that my ex would not speak to me. At this time, I had lost the home that our daughter was born in. He spoke with him and the CS was brough up to date. He still did not oay the day care cost or the medical and my daughter was kicked out due to him not paying. This past November I filed on him and was goign to represent myself. At the time he owed close to $4000 in back child support plus daycare plus medical. The day of the hearing he showed up with and attorney who wanted to make a settlement. He agreed to pay in a trust set up with the attorney plus $150 extra per month. I agreed and was given immediatly $600. From that time I cannot get the money on time from the attorney. When I call the assistant has told me several times that my ex is not sending it and now his now wife (my former BF) says its not fair and wants to stop it all together, the assistant told me that his wife is runnign the show and also if I take it back into court that they will have to represent and I will loose the money.

My daughter has special needs.. another thing that my ex refuses to acknowledge. He refuses to meet with her medical doctor and therapist to discuss her diagnoises and has even accused me of "making it up" and says that I am lieing because his mother is a nurse and says that there is nothing wrong. ALso my ex-mom in law hates my guts ... lotterally and this past weekend my ex-hus and his wife told my daugher (10 years old) that her grandmother hates me and has always hated me. She was very upset and when i asked her what they said she said it would hurt my feelings and will nto tell me.

I dont know where to turn or how to get help. I barely get buy and had to file for food stamps.. I work full time but after insurance is taken out I barely have a check left. We literally live in a apartment with electricity only, I cant even afford a phone or basic cable due to the cost of full day care, and her medical (she sees 2 doctors 2 times per week)

In the mean time my ex has manipulated his step father and has been given 2 brand new cars, plasma tv, my daugher gets boxes of clothes and toys sent to her from my ex-mother in law but has been told she cant take them home. When she tried to bring a stuffed animal my ex and his wife threatned to have her arrested for STEALING.. They go on trips paid for my ex-father in law and are given a minimum of $2000 cash to "spend" while they are on these trips..

Child support was due on the 15th, I called my ex this morning and he told me he doesnt have it and I will get it when I get it... he laughed and said there nothign I can do about it..

If anyone has any ideas how I can get help I woudl appreciate it.. Im loterally at my wits end. I make too much money for legal aid and not enough to retain. I also have another child (son) from a previous relationship and I am caring for him too.

I have been divorced now for 3 years. My ex-husband had an affair with my best friend and left me, they are now married. I cannot afford an attorney and am confused on what I can do and how I can do things to protect my daughter. My story is long so I appologize ahead of time.

When my ex left me I had just had surgery and was still recouperating. His daughter from a previous marriage was living with us and when he left he refused to take her and so I was left with our daughter and his daughter (ages 7 & 11). His mother is married to a VERY rich man and he and the former BF made sure that they smeared my name to her making sure that she woudl help them out financially. It took us a year and our divorce was final. I was given custody of both my daughter and his and he was ordered to pay chilsd support $645 per month, plus 60% of the day care and half of medical bills. He would never pay the support and if he did it was $100 at a time. His daughte lived with me for 1 1/2 years when she returned to her mother (her rights had been stripped) I was relieved because the girl hated me and resented me because her dad didnt live there, It was easier for her to blame me than her dad.

I tried giving him chances and finally wrote to my ex-father inlaw and asked him to please speak with my ex, I explained that I was struggling to make ends meet and did not want to have to take him into court but that my ex would not speak to me. At this time, I had lost the home that our daughter was born in. He spoke with him and the CS was brough up to date. He still did not oay the day care cost or the medical and my daughter was kicked out due to him not paying. This past November I filed on him and was goign to represent myself. At the time he owed close to $4000 in back child support plus daycare plus medical. The day of the hearing he showed up with and attorney who wanted to make a settlement. He agreed to pay in a trust set up with the attorney plus $150 extra per month. I agreed and was given immediatly $600. From that time I cannot get the money on time from the attorney. When I call the assistant has told me several times that my ex is not sending it and now his now wife (my former BF) says its not fair and wants to stop it all together, the assistant told me that his wife is runnign the show and also if I take it back into court that they will have to represent and I will loose the money.

My daughter has special needs.. another thing that my ex refuses to acknowledge. He refuses to meet with her medical doctor and therapist to discuss her diagnoises and has even accused me of "making it up" and says that I am lieing because his mother is a nurse and says that there is nothing wrong. ALso my ex-mom in law hates my guts ... lotterally and this past weekend my ex-hus and his wife told my daugher (10 years old) that her grandmother hates me and has always hated me. She was very upset and when i asked her what they said she said it would hurt my feelings and will nto tell me.

I dont know where to turn or how to get help. I barely get buy and had to file for food stamps.. I work full time but after insurance is taken out I barely have a check left. We literally live in a apartment with electricity only, I cant even afford a phone or basic cable due to the cost of full day care, and her medical (she sees 2 doctors 2 times per week)

In the mean time my ex has manipulated his step father and has been given 2 brand new cars, plasma tv, my daugher gets boxes of clothes and toys sent to her from my ex-mother in law but has been told she cant take them home. When she tried to bring a stuffed animal my ex and his wife threatned to have her arrested for STEALING.. They go on trips paid for my ex-father in law and are given a minimum of $2000 cash to "spend" while they are on these trips..

Child support was due on the 15th, I called my ex this morning and he told me he doesnt have it and I will get it when I get it... he laughed and said there nothign I can do about it..

If anyone has any ideas how I can get help I woudl appreciate it.. Im loterally at my wits end. I make too much money for legal aid and not enough to retain. I also have another child (son) from a previous relationship and I am caring for him too.

How much is the arrearage?

Is ex paying on-going CS on a regular basis?

Has he been making any extra payments toward arrears?

Right now he owes $1700 in back child support and another $2200 in med/daycare payments.

He doesnt make the payments to the attorneys "trust" so I have to call the attorney (who now wont take my calls) ans ask or beg him for the money. It is suppose to include the extra $150 per month to pay the back support.

According to his attorneys secretary, who told me off record that my ex is a looser, his now wife wants to lower the payments and has told them that they should only pay what they can afford AFTER they pay THIER bills, which makes no sence to me cause i know for a fact that my ex-father inlaw paid for the attorney, they have 2 brand new fully paid for cars. My ex-mother inlaw sends her Coco Channel & Louie Vittan purses, and they live in a small old house that they rent from her aunt for get this... $250 per month. They have the money they just dont want to give it to my daughter. Also he owes back support on his other daughter whos mom has given up hope that he will ever pay. The ONLY time he paid her support was when we were married and I wrote the checks to the courts for him.

Right now he owes $1700 in back child support and another $2200 in med/daycare payments.

He doesnt make the payments to the attorneys "trust" so I have to call the attorney (who now wont take my calls) ans ask or beg him for the money. It is suppose to include the extra $150 per month to pay the back support.

According to his attorneys secretary, who told me off record that my ex is a looser, his now wife wants to lower the payments and has told them that they should only pay what they can afford AFTER they pay THIER bills, which makes no sence to me cause i know for a fact that my ex-father inlaw paid for the attorney, they have 2 brand new fully paid for cars. My ex-mother inlaw sends her Coco Channel & Louie Vittan purses, and they live in a small old house that they rent from her aunt for get this... $250 per month. They have the money they just dont want to give it to my daughter. Also he owes back support on his other daughter whos mom has given up hope that he will ever pay. The ONLY time he paid her support was when we were married and I wrote the checks to the courts for him.

You can file for contempt again, but unfortunately he's learned how to work the system. If he was $4,000.00 in arrears in Nov. and 6 months later is only $1,700.00 in arrears, he has been making on-going support payments and made progress on the arrears. A court will see that and is likely to not hold him in contempt. (unfortunately the court doesn't care that the payments are late, or that you have to beg for them.)

It doesn't matter what his wife wants, or even what he wants, the likelyhood of his payments being lowered by the court is almost nil.

Besides filing for contempt, try writing a letter to the attorney. In it explain that it is his job to make sure the trust is paid and you are paid, then go on to explain that you expect him to do his job and that if he doesn't you WILL file a complaint with the Bar Association. Send it by certified return recipt mail, hopefully that will put pressure on the attorney who will in turn, put pressure on your ex to pay.

I basically had that conversation with him in January. I told him that I accepted his offer in good faith. He turned around and told me that if I go into court he will have to represent him and that I will loose. My sister inlaw had said that it sounded kinda like a dirty deal and she had begged me to not accept it. She thinks he was manipulating me since I didnt have a attorney and was going to try to rep myself. (i had all the reciepts to show what I had paid and my bank statements) His paralegal/secretary had conversations with me off record and he even said that the attorney hates my ex because what he is pulling is making him look bad. So i think i will try that.

Also how can I force him to see my daughters doctor and understand her diagnoises? It bothers me because she has to take her meds at a certain time, eat at certain times and go to bed and get a min of 8 hours sleep. When she is with them she stays up late, eats everything she is not suppose to, doesnt brush her teeth, etc. Her teachers say that on the Mondays that he drops her at school she sleeps in class (she is special ed and they understand her needs ) My inlaws are bringing them to hteir house in Newport Beach, Ca in July and I want to make sure they all understand her needs. Like I said before they say i am lieing and have made this up. Should I get the doctor and therapist to send them letters or what?

Also i forgot to add that our daughter will needs care for the rest of her life, she most likely never be able to get married and become a parent unless the person REALLY understands her. According to her doctors she will have to live with someone forever. My fear is that if somethign happens to me he will take her and place her with a facility.

Also how can I force him to see my daughters doctor and understand her diagnoises? It bothers me because she has to take her meds at a certain time, eat at certain times and go to bed and get a min of 8 hours sleep. When she is with them she stays up late, eats everything she is not suppose to, doesnt brush her teeth, etc. Her teachers say that on the Mondays that he drops her at school she sleeps in class (she is special ed and they understand her needs ) My inlaws are bringing them to hteir house in Newport Beach, Ca in July and I want to make sure they all understand her needs. Like I said before they say i am lieing and have made this up. Should I get the doctor and therapist to send them letters or what?

Letters from the Dr.s might help. If he still refuses to learn more, you might have to take the matter to court and get the court to order him to learn about her needs. Use this only as a last resort though.

Also i forgot to add that our daughter will needs care for the rest of her life, she most likely never be able to get married and become a parent unless the person REALLY understands her. According to her doctors she will have to live with someone forever. My fear is that if somethign happens to me he will take her and place her with a facility.

Some states have provisions that allow for CS to continue into adulthood when a child is disabled. I don't know if your state is one of them, but it's worth looking into.