Ok here is the deal, the father was a druggie, got in trouble with the law, all charges were dropped except one which was found not guilty by reason of insanity. He went through treatment, came out better.
He was off most of the bad stuff, just used light stuff. Then he met the mother, she was in treatment and didn't live with her parents (she was 17 but emancipated because her parents were very weird). Her parents were really messed up (not on drugs just freaky wierd, strict, predjuidice, and strange. just bad parents) and she had been in and out of treatment for years before, since she was a very young teen.

When met her, she was a druggie, she went through treatment but it didn't help. They lived together 3 years, she got pregnant and left him because he was straightening out and didn't want to loose her child so she moved in with her parents where she stayed for years.
Dad got totally clean, and has been for over 10 years, he went to college, found himself a great girl, a job, and had a son, who is now 4. The mother of his daughter went to Cali for 3 years, was in and out of bad relationships and kept using. Came back to her parents she despised again because she just couldn't manage living alone and transfered custody from her to them because she was so messed up, but never told the dad of the custody change.

So the child is now 11, in custody of her mothers weird grandparents and the mom lives their as well. The grandparents have tried to totally prevent dad from being around his daughter. The mom has to at times, and other times has been very kind to let him see her. Both mom and grandparents have refused any financial support and never requested any. The dads contact has been limited because the grandparents never liked him but he has had contact and the child has always liked her dad and loves being a sister.
Even though she was in the custody of her mothers for most of her life shes lived most of her life in her grandparents house..with her mom. The mom is still frequently in and out of treatment but we don't have much against the grandparents. Now they are all telling lies to the daughter to scare her into not wanting to talk to her father or see him. (evertime he mentions visiting she says some excuse like she has a projectfor school to do. we don't know if they are scaring her or telling her to say that.) we don't know how to fight them turning her against us.

We live about 7 hours away, and have a lawyer already, the child has been appointed an ad litim, we want some other opinions. DO we (father and his long term partner and half brother) have a strong chance at getting full custody from the grandparents after she's lived with them so long?? (the mothers already given her up but won't testify against her parents as she wants to keep her daughter with her.) or are our chances really slim??

He never tried for custody or even rights before because he believed that the mom had custody still and she as clean (she had told him she was when she moved to cali, it probably lasted about 6 months) plus we didn't have the money before.

Well, the important question is...is he even the legal father?

Oh, and no, HE and HIS LONG TIME PARTNER and his HALF BROTHER (I am assuming that there were 3 people listed, otherwise that is one sick relationship) have no standing to sue. Only HE has any chance.

yes he's the father. He's already had a test to prove it long ago and has always been listed on the birth certificate and in the childs life as much as he could.
there is no problem of wheather or not he's the father.
I know it is only HIM who can go after rights to his daughter, not me (his fiance lol :p ) or our son, but when you are a family every event is a family event not a personal one, and major events are deffenitly family ones. this effects everyone.
Some people may have had such bad relationships with others everything is "me/you" but in our family its "us", even if its only his name on the paperwork. Plus often if someone has settled down in a long term relationship and have well rounded children that looks better to a judge, the family enviroment is stable and allt hat other stuff.
we/he have a lawyer and the proccess has already been underway for a good 2 months. (its way to much stress) He has already been awarded shared custody with supervised visits off the bat, basically before the ad litim was even brought in. Our lawyer says we/he have a pretty good chance but everything seems to just keep pileing up against him/us. The grandparents telling the girl lies is the most recent.
It just seems so sad to me that they would even bring the child into the way they have, like a tool they are using, its so immature, and she lives with them full time and we don't even get the ad litim evaluation for another month and the trial is not until July..a lot of damage and brainwashing can be done in 3 months! :(

your chances of taking a child away from the home to move 7 hours away with someone they have never had a true relationship with are slim to none unless you can prove the household is a very bad influence. And, I'm talking dcs investigations and police reports. Best chances, visitation schedule. And be prepared to pay CS and probably back support also. Whether they asked for support or not, he will still be liable as it is the child's right to receive it. Hopefully he's been putting it away all these years for the times when she did ask for it

Here's the problem you are going to run into...

The mother is still living with the child and the dad does not and has not had a relationship with this child. The GP's may not be the model parental unit, but as long as the child is not neglected or abused, you are going to have a very difficult time convincing a court that it is in the child's best interest to rip him away from the only home and family he knows.

As milspec said, unless you have proof that she and the GP's are unfit (not just freaky weird), I question the success you will have.

However, that said, there is no reason why he will NOT be granted visitation and possibly joint legal custody of the child. Once there is an order for visitation, they cannot deny visitation. If they do, then every time your hunny-bunny:D will need to file for contempt. Enough of THOSE little games, and custody CAN be modified.

If the mother were not living with the GP's, this answer may have been different.

The back child support issue has been delt with already, that was the first court date. Because she was in her mothers custody for most of her life, and the mother does not want back support only the grandparents do, and because he was never informed that the mother had given up custody of the child they compramised and he only has to pay $500.00 back support. (of course this doesn't cover future support because no one is sure whom the child will reside with yet. He would have no problem paying future child support, he's never been that kind of dad.)

The mother is living with the grandparents and his daughter but that makes it worse. The mother is still an addict and gave up custody because she was such a bad parent. when we began the court procedure we were given the paper work of the transfering of custody, it stated that when her daughter was in her mothers care she had missed school frequently and had been contacted frequently by the school. As well her boyfriend spanked her daughter so hard one day that she could not attend school for 3 days. She broke up with him and came back to live with her parents again after her bf broke her nose. Since then she has still remained messed up. The last court date the mother was not present because she was in treatment again (convieniently) and she had been in treatment just 5 months before that as well. I doubt there is any way the mother is ever getting custody back of her daughter with her current situation.

We were told it is very uncommon for a parent to have joint custody with a grandparent. We were told if one parent was fit enough to have joint, then they would have full if the other parent is not fit. Thats where it is weird because it isn't custody between the two parents its between one parent and the grandparents.
I guess everything is residing on what kind of relationship shes had with her dad as you all say.
Her relationship has always been good with her dad, the childs mother has never had any problem with her dad and would let us vistit (except for a 2 year period in 2002-2004 where she disapeared, which is when she was living with that bad bf.) but the last few years she has been very kind and sorry for these actions, just the grandparents are still resisting. I think they just want a second chance at raising a daughter who isnt messed up.) Even though the child and her father see each other face to face but a few times a year they speak on a weekly basis.

I geuss it just doesn't seem fair to me, seeing that if a grandparent had kidnapped a kid and moved to Canada and raised the child for a few years they wouldn't leave the child their with the grandparents just because she had been "settled down" there. In essence this is what they have done. :(

still remains that the mother is there. do the grandparents have LEGAL guardianship- thru court papers? Cause, I don't know how she was able to do that without his approval

yes the grandparents have legal custody through the court. The mother had full custody originally, and really they just lied and claimed they had no idea where the father was, hadn't seen him in years and didn't know how to get ahold of him. And on their affidavet currently claim they were not aware the father had to be informed as the mother had full custody (I don't know if he had to be or not)
While the mother had been living with her parents and their daughter for the last 3 years he belived the mom had custody and didn't know that she was so messed up still. we were not informed of the abuse while the child was in her mothers custody or that cusody change had taken place, the lawyer obtained all these documents during this procedure, thats the first time we had been informed of it. Thats why our case is him against the grandparents, not the mother. She willingly gave up custody. The grandparents have temporary physical custody of the child and have since 2004 without his knowledge. well during the first court date, the past child support part, they awarded him visitation rights, but have not laid out times yet. that is to be left until the end of the custody hearing part.
We have already spent $8000 on lawyer fees already however, its amazing that to make 6 cheap quality color colpies of photos (not blown up, not an any special paper, just regular paper, normal photo size...and dark might I add) at office max and charge $85.00 for it :o
I think someone should be suing the lawyers :P

first a parent and a grandparent can share custody..........i dont know your exact situation but it sounds like the father still has rights to his child and will be able to be apart of its life (commonly through visitation) unless he can prove by "clear and convincing evidence" that him having full/sole/legal/joint/etc. custody is the best interest of the child it is not a likely outcome.........your in for a long expensive battle, the people at this site are and have been in your position and will be able to help you...
www.parentsrights.org

stop the train- if the dad was/is indeed the legal father then what type of "custody" does grandma have? I'm thinking it's very unlikely to have been actually authorized through the courts if there was another legal parent fit to take over the care of the child? so how did this happen?


oh and if dad REALLY wants a shot a winning this- his absolute BEST move is going to be to move into the child's school district, that way any change will not impact her stability wrt education AND she will still have a lot of access to the grandmother who has mothered her for years (and dad should be supportive of continueing contact in that regard) and her mother.