When I was 16 years old (11 years ago), I was having sexual relations with a woman who was obsessed with me. She was 19 years old. We were 2.5 year apart because we had sex in April-July of 1996. My birthday was 7/28/1979 and hers was 3/18/1977. During that period she got pregnant. She wanted to abort but I wanted to keep the baby so, with much shame I told my parents and she moved in with us so I could keep my daughter. We stayed together for 8 years and then I finally left her. She is now turning my daughter against me and lying to her about me. We do have joint custody and I do pay child support, but for some strange reason my daughter doesn't want to spend her alloted time with me.
First of all I would like to know if this is considered rape on her part? Also, how long do I have to file charges on her for what she did to my life? Do you think this would look bad for her in a courtroom if I took her back to court for custody of my daughter. She has now living with her lesbian lover and I am soon to be married to a wonderful woman and I think we can provide a better home for my 9 year old daughter. Please let me know. Thank

When I was 16 years old (11 years ago), I was having sexual relations with a woman who was obsessed with me. She was 19 years old. We were 2.5 year apart because we had sex in April-July of 1996. My birthday was 7/28/1979 and hers was 3/18/1977. During that period she got pregnant. She wanted to abort but I wanted to keep the baby so, with much shame I told my parents and she moved in with us so I could keep my daughter. We stayed together for 8 years and then I finally left her. She is now turning my daughter against me and lying to her about me. We do have joint custody and I do pay child support, but for some strange reason my daughter doesn't want to spend her alloted time with me.
First of all I would like to know if this is considered rape on her part? Also, how long do I have to file charges on her for what she did to my life? Do you think this would look bad for her in a courtroom if I took her back to court for custody of my daughter. She has now living with her lesbian lover and I am soon to be married to a wonderful woman and I think we can provide a better home for my 9 year old daughter. Please let me know. Thank
Technically, yes, it was illegal. However, as she was less than 3 years older than you, the chances of a guilty verdict are nil. Furhter, it will seem very odd that you are in the middle of custody/visitation issues and only NOW bringing up the allegation.

You have 10 years from your 18th b-day to file any charges. (Of course, any sexual activity you had after you turned 17 was not illegal. So those 8 years don't count) If you choose to do so, don't expect anyone to put alot of effort into this case. I would also suggest that you not put any hope in the fact that it will bring your daughter closer to you. You will not get custody based on these allegations. It will be viewed as an obvious ploy. You didn't have any problem with it for the 8 YEARS you lived together and raised your child.

I won't even comment on her sexuality and your issues with it. You need to drop the games and just present to the court why you feel you are more fit to raise this child. It's up to the judge as to whether or not he will buy it.
One last note, the fact that she had sex with you when you were underage (which I have already explained was "technically illegal") has nothing to do with her fitness to raise her child.

I understand, but the period prior to her taking advantage of me being naive, she was in the hospital for depression because she tried to commit suicide. She also was suppose to be on Zoloft and stopped taking it.
The woman is extremely vendictive and she manipulates my daughter with guilt and fear. What can I do? I am a father and need to build a case against a crazy woman.

I understand, but the period prior to her taking advantage of me being naive, she was in the hospital for depression because she tried to commit suicide. She also was suppose to be on Zoloft and stopped taking it.
The woman is extremely vendictive and she manipulates my daughter with guilt and fear. What can I do? I am a father and need to build a case against a crazy woman.


Have you taken your child to a therapist? If Mom is doing the things you say, than therapy would help your child cope with the situation. You could also have the therapist testify at the Custody Hearing.

Unfortunately, the only time I have my child during the week is for 2 hours and we live 20 minutes from each other which gives me literally 1 hour and 15 minutes to spend with her. It is difficult to find a therapist that I can take her to and still get her back on time. Also, the mother will not allot me any extra time or consent to me taking my daughter to a therapist without her being there. She has asked me to go with both of them because she wants to go as a "family." I am 100% sure it will end up in a session of why did you leave you child and "Why can't we try again," even though she knows I am engaged and extremely happy. Even though she is in another relationship she has not moved on. It has been 2 years.
The kicker is she is already taking her to a therapist without me and has been. So basically, she has me in a corner. Do you really think it is in my childs best interest to go to therapy with her and my ex after all this time and my side of the story never being heard or should I insist on going to a different therapist with my daughter? Getting the time to do so might bring me back into the courtroom.

The ONLY way you will have any rights is if there is a court order granting you those rights. If there is no court order, she doesn't have to allow you to spend ANY time with your daughter.

If there is a court order and she is not abiding by the order, file charges of contempt.

If there is a court order and you don't feel that it affords you the minimum time you should have with your daughter, file for modification.

If there is NO order, file for custody/visitation.

The "rape" has no bearing on this case, as you lived together for 8 years and obviously weren't bothered by the circumstances at any time. Her sexuality could come into play, but only if you have other evidence that she is unfit to care full time for this child. (This is TX, after all)

Are you paying child support? If so, are you ORDERED to pay child support?

BTW, if you do have an order, what does it grant you and the mother? Is it Joint Managing Conservatorship, Sole MC, Joint Possessory Conservatorship, Sole PC, what...?

If there is a court order and she is not abiding by the order, file charges of contempt.

She does abide by the orders with threats and causes a scene most of the time when we do our exchange. She is constantly harping on me about paying child support which she has no right to do because I have never been late.

If there is a court order and you don't feel that it affords you the minimum time you should have with your daughter, file for modification.

Is that costly and can I do it without a lawyer? Also, if I do this will she be able to request more child support at that time? We finally got a "common law," divorce last March. I have been paying for extra curricular acivities for my daughter above and beyond my child support.

If there is NO order, file for custody/visitation.

There are orders

The "rape" has no bearing on this case, as you lived together for 8 years and obviously weren't bothered by the circumstances at any time. Her sexuality could come into play, but only if you have other evidence that she is unfit to care full time for this child. (This is TX, after all)

The fact that she was wanting an abortion and she was mentally unstable was the reason I had her move in with my parents and I. I wanted my daughter and I was afraid of something just like what I am going through now.

Are you paying child support? If so, are you ORDERED to pay child support?

Yes, I pay quite a bit

BTW, if you do have an order, what does it grant you and the mother? Is it Joint Managing Conservatorship, Sole MC, Joint Possessory Conservatorship, Sole PC, what...?

We are in joint custody but the child lives with her mother and I have the maximum visitation allowable.

Thank you for your help
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