I was awarded full custody of my two children in 2002 and the father had every other weekend with the children. I had his rights changed in 2003 when I moved from Tenn to Alabama. I ended up moving back to Tenn in 2004 and was working with the father by giving him the every other weekend although the papers didn't state I had to do so.Well, the father has this girlfriend that moves in and out sometimes she is there a week, sometimes a month.He admitted to me that she done drugs in his house , but yet he wouldn't ever let that happen again. Also out of the past 2 years the kids have only been bathed at his house a handful of times. He feeds them bologna,hot dogs, salami, cereal and bread every time they are there and an occasional pizza.. since he doesn't eat vegatables or fruit he doesn't provide it to them.He has taken the children in a regular cab truck without child seats and the children were 3 and 5 years of age. When I confronted him on this he admitted it and said it wouldn't happen again.But it did 4 months later. With 2 kids buckled up in one seat together and another one in the middle without booster seats again.His mother also does this when they are with her.She had 8 people in a 5 seater car.The last time I let the kids go with him, he was suppose to be off work with them and if he had to go in his mom would watch them on the terms she didn't take them anywhere without proper child restraints. Instead he left them with his girlfriend and worked everyday.When I called to talk to the kids he told my kids "you better not even mention it!" Regarding his g/f watching them. My question is do I legally have to let them go visit him with all of these things going on in his care? Or do I have grounds to keep them safe with me until he 1.) doesn't risk their lives by not using proper child restraints 2.) feeds and baths them properly 3) allows unimpeded telephone conversations with the kids along with no derogatory remarks made about me from him or his mother.

Only a court can change the court order. If your court order states he has X days, then he gets X days. You don't need to allow him more days and you can file with the court to have those items that you are concerned about added to the court orders. You just can't alter that time on your own without the orders changing.

Although, I have to admit, it's really difficult to get children to each fruits and veggies, my older one has been known to live off of cereal, balonga, hot dogs and pepperoni at times as well.