Okay. I am a 24 year old mother of 2 and "step" mom of 2 more and I am scared to make my "babys father" leave. He keeps saying that he is going to take my kids with him if he leaves and I just can't have that. Let me back up for a minute to say how this all started. In 11-00 he proposed to me but I said not right now because I had just graduated high school (with high honors I might add :O) ), gotten a job, bought a car(I was making car payments), and he said he wanted me to move on base with him because he wanted to go to the army. Therefore, I said not right now...but to be engaged wasn't in his vocabulary. Well, 7 mths later we were still together...not living together but sharing a lot of time with each other with me thinking we were exclusive to each other...but I guess not....I get a phone call and he tells me he knocked up this chick and she was 7 mths pregnant. Well we take some time apart and after the baby was born he brought him to see me....it was when he was about a week old that I helped when needed to get him necessities like diapers and formula. Well, he leaves his babys momma and moves in with me on 05-02. I was helping to raise his son and we were together for a while when I come home to hell....he tells me his "wife" was 7 mths pregnant again...well they began the divorce proceedings...and were finally divorced in 07-04. But because we had been discussing marriage (me not knowing he had a wife and not knowing that she was pregnant when he moved in with me) and discussing having children of our own I "tricked" him and got pregnant with my son (YEAH...STUPID I KNOW...BUT I WANTED MY CHILD....AND WOULDN'T CHANGE IT FOR ANYTHING)! So we move I have the baby and his "ex-wife" starts allowing their daughter to come over after about 4 mths...so I was helping to raise not only my son, but his daughter who is 6 mths older than my son, and his oldest son. I have been working the whole time and he has not...he was the "stay at home father." His ex-wife needless to say wasn't a good mother...and he won primary guardian in a joint custody case. But still I was working to support all 5 of us...we have been living together since 2002. Well, last year I ended up pregnant again and after cosidering abortion...I just couldn't do it...that was my child. So now we have our 2 and his other 2 that I am extremely close to..they are with us every day :O) and they call me super momma :O) their mother gets them every other Friday, but we have them when she is working too. The judge ordered no child support for either party he was to watch the kids while she was working and she was to provide medical...which she hasn't. Now since this past month I have the kids in daycare and the oldest is in school...I am paying for it all. He is suppose to be looking for a job to help but a month has gone by and he has nothing...he had an offer but they gave it to someone else. Well here is my issue, he cheated on me again....the broad is pregnant and I want to kick him out...but he has only his "friends" to go to and I don't want my children living with anyone else...they need their mother. I am absolutely terrorfied of him physically and emotionally destroyed after all he has put me through. Is there anyway that I can go to a jp and get custody of my children with out him knowing because I am so scared of him? He has a record of weed, weapons, an assault against his family member that might get dropped he hasn't gone to court for it yet. Not to mention warrants out for traffic tickets. He said he cheated on me because I didn't give him $$ but I pay for our apartment, I pay the water, I pay our car insurance--yeah I bought him a car too....and told him he had to keep the upkeep on the car...but he hasn't..and gets angry because I don't have $$ for that too. I pay his lawyer $50 a month for his divorce and child custody with his ex wife...I pay the phone bill....I pay everything...and I always have...I feel like I should get custody of my children, but I am so terrified to stand up against him because he gets extremely angry and breaks thing and I know he will walk out with my children...and I will have no idea where they are. He says he won't keep them from me....but I want my boys to live with me....Please help me!!!! Please tell me that I can go file a case with the jp and when I kick him out he won't be able to take my children!!!! I love my boys so much and this is just killing me...but they don't need to see mommy going through all of this with "daddy" expecting another child with another woman all the while their momma is at home crying because daddy is never home and comes home to complain about me not giving him money. Thanks!!!

Call the jp now.

You need to leave this man today... and file for custody of all of the children. You shouldn't worry too much about custody... they are not going to be quick to give custody to an unemployed man without a home of his own.

As to the step children, that will be harder. Any chance of the bio mom signing over her parental rights to you?

Any chance of the bio mom signing over her parental rights to you?

As for that no...she won't sign over her rights but I know she would allow me to keep the children some time during the week or weekends...she is a better mother now but she doesn't provide for them financially like I do....but I am sure if she got her kids back fully that she would provide for them...and demand child support from him. I have been doing everything for them...and right now I am the one paying for their daycare...not her...and not him. I make sure her son does his homework and is doing good in school.

I am just terrorfied that if I go to the jp that he is going to find out and go irrate again. He was in jail a few months ago and I borrowed the money from his "friend" and I payed her back...I had $400 in the bank which was for our bills and my gas to get to work...so I borrowed the money from her and he got mad at that...that next month I gave her all of her $500 back and he still is mad at me for not using my bill and gas money to get him out of jail. And when he got released he didn't call me to come get him which I expected him to do right....well I had all 4 kids at home in bed and I was up all night calling his bondsman and the jail to find him...but all they said was he was released...so he finally comes home the next day irrate and angry because I wasn't sitting downtown waiting on him to get out...but he never called me...I was at home with our children one of which is only 7 mths now and they were all sick..but he came in angry because his "friend" was there..."she is the one that is now pregnant...of course"...I just want out...I want a judge to give me custody of my children so that I can get him to leave with out my kids...I already know he will throw a fit again...He has broken about 10 phones in the past 5 or 6 months...he broke our sons swing..he said he tripped on it....he broke some bowls..he has knocked over the table..he has knocked holes in the bathroom walls...that same day he knocked the kids food out of my hands on the floor and said they didn't need "my shi*"...and he tried to walk out with them....but I cried and got him to stay....I just want my kids!!!!...I do admit...I have a head mark in the wall where I head butted it because he was yelling and screaming and terrorizing our kids because he was mad and I slammed my head against the wall...but I am soooo scarred!!!!

Call the police.

Report the violence. Report the man now.

Do not wait until he puts you in the hospital before you act.

Thanks! I must get stronger and do this for my kids..they all deserve better!!! I just needed to hear that the courts wouldn't give him custody of my kids....

The courts will not put children in an abusive home if they know of it AND the abusive nature of the father can be proven.

First off I think that your children's father needs to learn what safe sex is !!!!!
Second If things are not going well in the home maybe you should leave, for the children's sake and take them some where safe.. Maybe another family members home.As far as dad getting visitation unless you can prove all theese things happened then you should have no problem in court. I would go down asap and file for support before the other mothers do and get the ball rolling there.. Good luck... Remeber keep them kids SAFE

Okay so heres the deal...things are a whole lot better between us...no more arguing, yelling, or any more of that crazy stuff. We sat down and talked and we both agreed that it wasn't healthy for our children to have to live like that....so our solution was to simply sit on things when things get heated and then try to talk about it after we have both calmed down....and since we made that agreement...we haven't had any harsh arguments...I am soooo happy and most importantly our children are a lot happier!
Now heres my question: the "broad" that was pregnant called my house Saturday and left a message (our speaker phone won't shut off on our home phone and I haven't replaced it yet so we only hear the voicemails whenever we do check it....which has been in about a week) saying that he has a baby boy 8lbs 2 oz and she gave the name of the baby. However, first off every since she told us that she was pregnant she said that she was definately having "twins"...she saw it on the sonogram/heard the heartbeats and all of this....but only one child was born according to her voicemail. Next thing is supposedly she was due sometime in July....but the message of the babys birth was left on March 31st. Thirdly, the baby doesn't even have neither of their last names....it/he has a completely different last name than either her or my b/f. So now here is my question.....is it legal for a woman to give a child a completely different last name than either of the parents without another man stepping up and signing the papers saying that indeed he is the father? I know when my kids were born he signed the papers acknowledging that he indeed was the babys father.....but without that happening...can a mother just give her child a last name that isn't her own, isn't her husbands, or isn't the "named" father on the paternity agreement sheet signed by the father that is agreeing that indeed it is his child?

If your man is smart he will file to determine paternity. I'd say there's a good chance the baby isn't his, but he needs to know because otherwise she can come back on him anytime in the next 18 years and collect CS and because he knew the child could possibly be his, he would be liable. If he files, then he gets the dna test up front and all is settled and she can't claim someone else is daddy and come back on him later.
Another note-
I was married to his twin so it sounds. He will go back to the way he was- they always do. We had the talks, the "I'll change" speeches. They worked for awhile and then he was back. Finally I got smart, before my kids got hurt.