Ok here it is. Some of you are aware of our custody case going on right now but here is the problem.

We have recently discovered my SD has a myspace page. She has it in the public listing and has herself listed as being 21. I have been able to print out a lot of stuff that we actually hurt her mothers case pretty bad. But the person she portrays herself to be is not the same gurl we know. She is acting like a down right THUG!!! We have also come to realize she has even less supervision than we even imagined. There are pictures of her smoking, seductive pics and more....:eek:

I have been able to access her account and view msg's between her and her friends and she is going to get herself into some real trouble. One gurl is threatening to take some threatening posts to the cops. :(

When she came over yesterday we told her that a girl called that house and told us that she was about to get herself into some real trouble but we did not know who it was(so she doesn't know that we know about the myspace) and that if anything was going on she should tell us. She acted like the victom of the whole mess when we know that she is by no means a victom.

Anyway should we just tell her we know or continue as planned and let it be a suprise for the final hearing on Dec 7.

Just unsure if the decision we made was a right one. Let me know what you would do.:o

Well we had our hearing Dec 7. Mom denied everything she has ever done. Put on the boo hoo act with I am just trying to be the best I can be for the kids. She said that she was never shown the DNA test that we had done 6 years ago. Said that she tried to get the child support issue fixed but DR told her there was nothing she could do. Said that my SD has out grown her adenoid prob from last year. Has out grown her nose bleeds(had one last 2 weeks ago here). Has out grown her allergies and asthma. But yet had no evidence other than her word to back it up. As a matter of fact she had no evidence at all just her word. She denied half the men who lived in her house. Thank GOD that the kids told the truth and said they did. She was caught in quite a few lies so which she tried to cover with tears. And the reason she gave why we are going to court.....she said I am trying to take her daughter from her and replace her. She actually told the hearing officer that I force my SD to talk to me and have a relationship with me. I pray to God that they see through her b/c my SD has made arrangements to spend the night with a boy in 2 weeks and we know about it. I think my husband will loose his mind that weekend just wondering if its happening. She's only 12. Oh and the reason that my SD gets such bad grades is b/c of the custody thing. What about last year???? And she went on and on about how the Catholic Church is her savior. She even shared with the court that she went to counciling b/c she was mentally unstable and she decided that she didn't need to go anymore after 6 months b/c she felt she was better. I thought her lawyer was going to pop a gaskit.
Well its in Gods hands now. They will mail us the decision in a about a week.

If you get custody, cut out the Myspace. When she is 18, she can do that. My 15 and 17 year old girls do not have that privelage.

http://www.pamstenzel.com/

Go to this site, and invest in the cd to show to your SD. I saw Pam in person, and she will SCARE that girl straight.

Nothing like a dose of reality not from a parent to make a kid think.

You are in my prayers.

Just wanted to let everyone know that has been following our case that we received the new custody order from the judge........
We were trying to get joint cusody.....
We were awarded FULL CUSTODY!!!!!!!!!!!

We are still in shock but this was the best Christmas present we could ever have asked for.

Merry Christmas everyone and a very happy New Year!!!

Just wanted to let everyone know that has been following our case that we received the new custody order from the judge........
We were trying to get joint cusody.....
We were awarded FULL CUSTODY!!!!!!!!!!!

We are still in shock but this was the best Christmas present we could ever have asked for.

Merry Christmas everyone and a very happy New Year!!!

That is the best news I have heard all week... and it has been a pretty great week!

I know it is not easy... parenting never is... but I know the kids are in a far better place than they used to be...

Merry Christmas!

That is indeed wonderful news.

Merry Christmas to you and your family. Lord knows you deserve it!

We were trying to get joint cusody.....
We were awarded FULL CUSTODY!!!!!!!!!!!
!

cool! i guess you wouldnt be interested in a trip to beautiful, downtown cicero, illinois?:D :p

Just wanted to let everyone know that has been following our case that we received the new custody order from the judge........
We were trying to get joint cusody.....
We were awarded FULL CUSTODY!!!!!!!!!!!

We are still in shock but this was the best Christmas present we could ever have asked for.

Merry Christmas everyone and a very happy New Year!!!

i hope all will be well but by experience that girl is going to take you all through it so be strong.

i hope all will be well but by experience that girl is going to take you all through it so be strong.

Thanks I am sure that it won't be easy. But for some reason her and I have always had a bond that I would have never expected. As a matter of fact It is like that with all 3 of the girls. We talk. We have dinner every night together at the table. Also very important. I did not open up to my mother the way that my kids do to me. I am honest and tell them what I feel not what they want to hear. I also very rarely give the because I said so line. They respect me for that. If I don't want them to do something or hang out with someone I tell them and there is always a legitamate reason behind it.

This generation is much more open with their feelings, and therfor subject to getting hurt by the boys. I hope you got that DVD I recomended. With girls, you will need it.

Congradulations on the victory, now comes the war with the boys!;)

The past 4 years with my daughters are ones I would not have traded for anything.

Thanks Got!! I did show my husband your post. He and I discussed it and we will be getting the DVD. Thank you for the recomendation.

Congratulations to your family. I'm so glad it worked out for y'all. Now, strap on your helmets and buckle in. :D

Well of course my SD's Mom is filing and appeal to the order. She fired her lawyer and got a new one. So here we go again. Just out of curiosity. When an appeal is filed does that mean we go back to court or that the evidence is reviewed??? Also, it was ordered that we recieve a copy of SD's birth certificate within 10 days. Today is 10 days and no Birth certif. I would think that does not look good for her either.....and the saga continues.

Well of course my SD's Mom is filing and appeal to the order. She fired her lawyer and got a new one. So here we go again. Just out of curiosity. When an appeal is filed does that mean we go back to court or that the evidence is reviewed??? Also, it was ordered that we recieve a copy of SD's birth certificate within 10 days. Today is 10 days and no Birth certif. I would think that does not look good for her either.....and the saga continues.

You need to receive a copy of the birth certificate from the mother? We went online and ordered official copies of my son's birth certificate for his adoption process. I think it was $7.

You need to receive a copy of the birth certificate from the mother? We went online and ordered official copies of my son's birth certificate for his adoption process. I think it was $7.

Well being that my husband was just awarded custody and it being the holidays and his name is not on the birth certif to begin with(you need to read the whole story). The judge ordered a copy to be given to us until all correction are made that need to be made. She was supposed to do that 9 months ago.

There is more than one DVD which one do you recommend??

Hi, StepMom33. I was wondering if there was a particular reaction in court to the MySpace website your SD had? My fiance is going though pure heck - his divorce and custody decision is going into year five. We, too, came across a horrendous MySpace account his eldest daughter had (15 at the time). We took screen shots of everything, spoke to her about it, and lo and behold, she just set up another one. When one of the family members mentioned THAT account, she set up a third making it Private:( Lots of necking pictures with her boyfriend amounting to soft porn, lots of violent lyrics, grunge rock nonsense, lied about her age, gave her actual school and home addresses, and most telling, her title "My mother is my father" in spanish - she's been diagnosed as severely affected by parental alienation syndrome by two guardians and a court appointed psychologist.

We submitted all the screenshots to both his attorney and the Guardian. While they were alarmed, NOTHING has ever even been mentioned about it. It only exemplifies the lack of supervision while at her mom's - she does not have free internet access when she's with us. I'd even sent an email to the webmaster about the false age, never receiving any kind of response.

I was just curious if the web account had garnered any particular comments or anything by the judge...

Hi, StepMom33. I was wondering if there was a particular reaction in court to the MySpace website your SD had? My fiance is going though pure heck - his divorce and custody decision is going into year five. We, too, came across a horrendous MySpace account his eldest daughter had (15 at the time). We took screen shots of everything, spoke to her about it, and lo and behold, she just set up another one. When one of the family members mentioned THAT account, she set up a third making it Private:( Lots of necking pictures with her boyfriend amounting to soft porn, lots of violent lyrics, grunge rock nonsense, lied about her age, gave her actual school and home addresses, and most telling, her title "My mother is my father" in spanish - she's been diagnosed as severely affected by parental alienation syndrome by two guardians and a court appointed psychologist.

We submitted all the screenshots to both his attorney and the Guardian. While they were alarmed, NOTHING has ever even been mentioned about it. It only exemplifies the lack of supervision while at her mom's - she does not have free internet access when she's with us. I'd even sent an email to the webmaster about the false age, never receiving any kind of response.

I was just curious if the web account had garnered any particular comments or anything by the judge...

I can't honestly say what if any the myspace info had on our case. When the approximately 50 or more pages were submitted to the hearing officer during our hearing-I had to testify as to how I found them and what I thought about they're content. When Mom testified her explaination was that she did not have a computer and that she must have been doing it at our house. She did not-she did it at friends houses. Anyway she also made the statement that I had no business invading my SD's privacy. When I was asked what gave me the right my response was it was my right as a parent.
Anyway the content on those pages where never discussed in court other than what a mentioned. The hearing officer meerly made the statement that she would read any and all info in the folder and that we need not worry b/c she had teenage daughters at home who she also had to moniter. I also took the extra step to translate the slang terms by making a dictionary with the definitions for the slang words. I did this with the help of UrbanDictionary.com. I am not sure if I helped you but I can't honestly say yes or no.

There is more than one DVD which one do you recommend??

That depends on your family values. There is the Faith based "Sex Has A Price Tag" "Character Matters" (for parents) and Take a look in the mirror (for girls)

Then there is the public school approved messages. "Time To Wait For Sex" or "Sex Appeal"

PM me for more detailed information.

not sure if you had your appeal hearing yet, but i'd file for contempt since she hasn't followed the order to give you a copy of your SD's birth certificate.
may i ask you to please read my post named "what a mess". it would be greatly appreciated, thank you

not sure if you had your appeal hearing yet, but i'd file for contempt since she hasn't followed the order to give you a copy of your SD's birth certificate.
may i ask you to please read my post named "what a mess". it would be greatly appreciated, thank you

Thanks Jamief. Our appeal hearing is on the 24th. Its actually a request to trial de novo. Hopefully the request will be denied after everyone gets their say. But anyway...She did leave the birth certif in the door sometime between 8pm and midnight on the 31. So she followed through. We were able to have the incorrect fathers name removed from the brith certif and it corrected with my husbands the new one came in the mail on Friday. Now we have to get an order from a judge to have my SD's last name corrected. She is adjusting well. Asked me today about going to the store to buy stuff to brighten up her room. Talking about going to the middle school mini-prom in the late spring. Wants to start looking for dresses. All good signs to me. Keeping our fingers crossed that all stays the same.... I will look at your post.

Well on Wednesday the 24th we had our pre-trial conference for De Novo. For a month prior all my husband heard was you'll get yours when we go back to court etc. etc. Well we went and Mom gave up her week day for 4 hours and asked for 2 more overnights a month. She signed the documents. The final order was made and no more court. And she left the court house without even explaining to her daughter that she was not fighting until the end like she had been telling her since December 22. Can you believe it!! I actually had more respect for her when she was at least trying to get her daughter back. She didn't even put up a fight. And then we had to clean up the mess and explain what happened. My poor SD asked me so when is the new hearing?? And we explained everything to her. Then she said but my mom said we were going back, my Mom said I would be back in 2 months etc etc. I truely felt bad. Not that we won of course but that she was feeling that way. Anyway, she was ordered to go along with the petition to have SD last name changed to ours(you may recall she has another mans last name). She had to call a landline to speak with SD(not a cell phone). She had to give us her Medical records since SD's doctor had retired 2 years ago and Mom had us on a wild goose chase trying to find her new Dr. Which So far none of the DR names we have been given she had she been to nor had records sent to them. Oh and the judge put in a specific order that when my husbands speaks with her with concerns about SD she is to behave in a adult manor and discuss the issues not start screaming and causing conflict. So anyway now we move on the my husband adopting my daughter and to us all will be right in the world. AMEN!!

Congratulations on getting through this with your family. I can't imagine having to explain to a child that what her parent said is not true, and that it's over. Don't worry, with love (and counseling) she'll come around. Now, get ready....you get the joys and heartaches of raising a teenage girl! Keep hands, feet, and head in the car and enjoy your ride!

(And remember, the best thing to do on the really hard days is to keep a sense of humor and good bottle of wine:D )

Congratulations on getting through this with your family. I can't imagine having to explain to a child that what her parent said is not true, and that it's over. Don't worry, with love (and counseling) she'll come around. Now, get ready....you get the joys and heartaches of raising a teenage girl! Keep hands, feet, and head in the car and enjoy your ride!

(And remember, the best thing to do on the really hard days is to keep a sense of humor and good bottle of wine:D )

Well Mommyof4 one thing you didn't know is that my SD and my daughter are the same age. SD is 3 months older so we can call it double trouble. And just when you think the fun is over my 6 year old daughter will be starting.
LOL:eek:

Oh and I prefer Blackberry Merlot LOL

Well, things are going well with school. SD has improved emensly(?sp). New problems though. With the pre-conference agreement Mom was ordered to hand over SD's Medical records. It has been 2 weeks. The order said immediately. Today when Mom picked up SD for her every other Monday over night she sent SD back into the house with "Medical Records". The records she gave us was 2 letters from specialist addressed to former pediatrician(who retired 1 and a half years ago). A copy of records from a ER visit. And immunization card that does not even match the record obtained from the school.!? Of course our lawyer is filing a contempt order. Also school was canceled for tomorrow due to the cold. Mom had SD call and say that since school was canceled that she was not bringing SD home until 3pm. My husband asked SD to put Mom on phone. He told Mom that SD was not to be used to relay messages per court order. My husband said NO you have to bring her home in the morning since there is no school. Well she started calling my husband all kind of colorful names in front of SD and SD of course became upset. She then started calling my husband all kind of names for getting SD upset!!! She keeps telling my husband that we have to let her see SD whenever she wants. My husband keeps explaining to her that he is following the court order as advised by his attorney and that if she was able to see her whenever she wants then there would not be a visitation schedule. The old court order said "other times when both parties agreed". The new order as of 1/24/07 does not say that and Mom signed the new order in agreement. Anyway the point of this whole thing is to vent and also to ask....Should we have our lawyer send her lawyer a letter saying that Mom does not understand court order and the she needs to review it with Mom??

Immensely

I had to look it up.:o

Drop a short note off to your lawyer outlining the situation. Her lawyer might be able to calm her down. After all, it is about the children and not the adults.


Vent away, we will listen. Email is also there if you need it.

Blessings

Immensely

I had to look it up.:o

Drop a short note off to your lawyer outlining the situation. Her lawyer might be able to calm her down. After all, it is about the children and not the adults.


Vent away, we will listen. Email is also there if you need it.

Blessings

LOL thanks for the spelling. And thanks for loaning me your shoulder on occasion!!! Your the best.