I have been working at my current job for almost 4 years. For the last 2 years I feel I have been being verbally abused by a manager in one of our other locations. Originally I would fight back when he yells, screams and carries on. However 2 years ago I got written up because I chose to fight back. Since then I have just taken the record and report roll. Every time he goes on one of his tangents I report it to our CEO and his wife who is our human resource department.
I have been forwarding his nasty emails to both of them as I was told to do. Several months ago the manager went on one of his spells and he was yelling at me and another manager in his location. I had forwarded every last nasty email I received from him to the above mentioned people. When I had a chance to speak with the CEO he said he had so many emails from being away on vacation that he just deleted them all without looking at them. I explained what both I and the other manager had gone through and was assured it would be taken care of. In October this guys started up again on me and then a few days later on the other manager. When I talked to the CEO he told me to put it in an email for him which I did. He emailed me back saying it would be put in his file. (I have a copy of this) Then when I was talking to our HR person she said I had to file a formal grievance and he would have a chance to reply and I would get to rebut. (this by the way was all new news to me seeing as all along I was told to just forward everything to them and it would be taken care of). Needless to say I played the game and filed a formal complaint. When this manager replied I happened to get a brief look at what he wrote and he implied I was sexually harassing him (not the case I have the CFO (who happens to be my sister) on my end hearing the phone conversation and the other manager who was at his location hearing the phone conversation)(I do have a letter from the other manager stating that she heard no sexal harassment and states what did take place during the conversation). When I handed the form over to the HR person I asked when would I get to see it and make my rebuttal. She did not bother answering me because she knew I was upset with his phony sexual harassment claim. I have asked several times when I will get to rebut what he said and HR never gets back to me. This manager has also ripped apart customers and several other of his employees at his location causing them to quit.
I need to know what I can do to stop being verbally abused by this guy seeing as HR does nothing to stop it. I do have some emails and have requested copies of all the other ones that I was told to forward for his file but I still have not gotten copies of them[(do I have the right to ask for them and get them)
I am a widow with a 12 years old daughter. I also just recently started college, for the most part I like my job and don't see why I should be forced into quitting in order to not have to put up with this verbal abuse.

Can anyone help me? I know the other manager being abused has walked off the job several times due to his abuse but much like me she needs her job too.

On the surface, I do not specifically see anything remotely unlawful. I do agree that this behavior is inappropriate for the workplace. And it sounds like you are taking the correct steps by reporting to HR and following company protocol. What you describe is not harassment under the "legal" definition; it's just bad management. Unfortunately being a "jerk" is not unlawful.

I can understand your frustration with this matter. I bet I'd feel the same in your shoes. My initial reaction is that you may not be giving the HR staff adequate time to investigate your complaint and verify the response from your boss. These investigations do take time. It's not uncommon for these to last a few weeks or more. I agree that some kind of timetable should have been presented to you when you made your complaint; but that does not mean that your complaint is being swept under the rug.

Are you employed under a collective bargaining agreement (union)? If yes, your union rep may be able to provide additional detail on the timetable and other procedural issues.

this is a small company with less then 200 employees. Before taking on the post of HR the person was a secretary at her chuch. This is also the same person who when her daughter walked out of the office to use the ladies room was whistled at so her answer for that is she wants to cover the windw on the door where her daughter sits so she "does not have to put up with that kind of harassment". But yet it is fine for me to put up with more and more verbal abuse. Go figure.

I thought harssment was anything that makes you feel uncomfortable?

So how does he get away with it and I was written up for it? If I go back to yelling back at him and defending myself what rights do I have?

However that's not the "legal" definition.

The EEOC's web-site is an excellent source to review what constitutes unlawful harassment and discrimination. Here is a link: http://eeoc.gov/.

so since he is not sexually harassing me but rather verbally abusing me I either just get to put up with it or I have to quit in order to make this stop?

Those are options. However any prudent employer would take your complaint seriously work to resolve your issues. If that's not happening, then the options you mention would be your available recourse.

There's harassment, and then there's illegal harassment.

You could indeed term generic harassment as anything that makes you uncomfortable if you wish, but the standard for illegal harassment is, by law, considerably higher than that.