I currently got orders to go overseas within the next 2 months and I have had a court case pending with my daughter's father since March, Circumstances are a little different now that he has chosen to move away to live with his girlfriend and raise her child and now with my getting orders to leave the country. Given that situation with me having to leave, I need him to sign a form of consent so I can take my daughter with me. He agreed to sign and is now refusing to do so unless I lower the amount of his child support so he can suceed in getting his bachelor's degree and still support his current "family" in which case he will give me sole custody and attempt to regain visitations when we return to the states. He obviously doesn't care about her and is more worried about the money. Our court date isn't until late December, but I need that form of consent ASAP so I can get the process started with passports, my orders, etc. because without it, I'm at a stand still. I don't agree with him using her as a pawn to get what he wants, but I'm swallowing a lot of my pride to keep what's more important to me. Is this something I should let him get away with or do what I can to fight for what I'm financially entitled to and keep my daughter with me?

I currently got orders to go overseas within the next 2 months and I have had a court case pending with my daughter's father since March, Circumstances are a little different now that he has chosen to move away to live with his girlfriend and raise her child and now with my getting orders to leave the country. Given that situation with me having to leave, I need him to sign a form of consent so I can take my daughter with me. He agreed to sign and is now refusing to do so unless I lower the amount of his child support so he can suceed in getting his bachelor's degree and still support his current "family" in which case he will give me sole custody and attempt to regain visitations when we return to the states. He obviously doesn't care about her and is more worried about the money. Our court date isn't until late December, but I need that form of consent ASAP so I can get the process started with passports, my orders, etc. because without it, I'm at a stand still. I don't agree with him using her as a pawn to get what he wants, but I'm swallowing a lot of my pride to keep what's more important to me. Is this something I should let him get away with or do what I can to fight for what I'm financially entitled to and keep my daughter with me?

Something like this is a judgement call that really only you can make. However I can tell you this, usually in situations where the CP is in the military and must leave the country, virtually 100% of the time the NCP is given temp custody (when NCP objects to CP removing child from country). The court usually views this as interfering with the NCP's visitation rights and therefore almost always sides with the NCP.

Whatever you decide to do it must be done thru the court or it won't be enforceable.

I appreciate the response. Her father moved away from her first and doesn't take the time or effort to take his visitations. His parents have probably spent more time with her than what he has. When he had her for one of his 2 weeks in the summer, he pawned her off on his parents almost the entire time while he left town. I don't agree with how the law deals with the CP being in the military and based solely on that, taking the child away. I am a great mother, I have been the primary caretaker the entire time and I have never abandoned my daughter like he has, but I guess that's just a battle I'll have to fight if it comes down to it because I'm not leaving without her.

I was active duty for 5.5 years in the Air Force. I was stationed at Yokota Japan. There were several Fathers and Mothers over there without their children because the court decided taking the child out of the country would not be in the "best interest" to the child.
Therefore, the NCP was given full custody.. and the former CP was given visitation rights.

So, be careful. If you do not "need" persay... if you are not hurting for money... I think your daughter would be more appreicative of you if you just signed, swallow your pride, and take her with you.

God knows what he has done. He will be judged accordingly.

Good luck in your Air Force career and thank you for serving.

babybronco
Disabled Veteran
United States Air Force

Thanks for the advise. Like I said before, I know what's more important and I am going to sign and swallow my pride. It takes a lot out of me to do so, but at least I won't have to worry about dealing with him for the next 3 years and I'll have my daughter with me. Thanks again and thank you for serving also.

Thanks for the advise. Like I said before, I know what's more important and I am going to sign and swallow my pride. It takes a lot out of me to do so, but at least I won't have to worry about dealing with him for the next 3 years and I'll have my daughter with me. Thanks again and thank you for serving also.

Oh goodness, I didn't see in your original post that you'd be away for 3 years. You are making the right choice, good luck to you.

Thanks a lot, I know I am. I just hope all goes well and he doesn't change his mind on this before the papers are signed.