Hello. What a great website! Here is my question: I have 3 children with my ex husband. I have sole legal and sole physical custody. My ex has visitations 4 hours after school 2 days a week and every other weekend visitations 9am to 7 pm. He has no overnights...he lost that 6 months ago. My oldest child is 9 yrs old. He has a lot of anger issues with his father. I have my son in weekly counseling for 2 yrs now. My ex is verbally abusive to my children (like he was to me in the marriage) and my son is tired of the way he father treats him. He wants to change his visitations to 2 days a week only for 4 hours a day. My son presented this to me and had the schedule planned out! His father also has a girlfriend which he is planning to marry and my son does not like her. He told me that she is very "mean" to him. I am unable to talk to his father about any of the things that my son is feeling because he treats me as if I do not exist. I have tried to co parent with him but he is just abusive, irresponsible and moody. He has not responded to an email or answered a phone call of mine for 6 months. We have been divorced for 5 years and I am remarried now for the past 2 years. Everything my ex does is not in the interest of the kids. He just tries to "hurt" me. I have heard that there is not an age for a child to request a change but generally the courts will listen to the kids at age 12. Has anyone ever had this experience with a child younger than 12? I know his therapist would get involved in helping with this process but I need some direction. Pls help!

Thank you:)

I would recommend starting (if you have not already) a log book: Keep copies of all e-mail, and note all times called and no return call.
Start sending requests and information to him via certified mail... So you have documentation he recieved whatever it is you need to write to him about.
You should get your other 2 children in counseling... if one child is acting out and affected -how is it possible the other 2 are not also being exposed to the same things?
Verbal abuse/Emotional Abuse is VERY hard to prove. The therapist is going to hopefully help you.
I would reccomend that you immediatly stop giving your EX "reactions". Make sure your letters are impersonal, just the FACTS, and "cold"(emotionless). IF you feel he is doing things to "hurt you" ---THEN you need to stop giving him an emotional reaction!
I would also reccomend that you STOP letting your 9 year old son believe that he can make a choice as to whether or not he can visit his dad. It is not his choice and he is not old enough to draft his own visitation schedule.
It may be hard but you need to encourage your son to enjoy his visits and be respectful to his father and his soon-to-be-step-mom. They are going to be in his life in some way for the next 9 years. I'm not saying that you do this...but never bad mouth the dad or the girlfriend to or in front of your children. Save that for your friends or HERE:cool: !
The judge may take into consideration what a child says: BUT what kind of emotional effect is it going to take on your child? You would be asking him to take your "side" and basically be against his dad. It is a very hard thing for a child to deal with. That is why the courts want the child to be over the age of 12.
I think that you will likely need lots of documentation and a lawyer.