ilh
09-30-2006, 07:35 PM
I have an 8 month old daughter, her father and I have never been married but have done DNA testing when she was 2 weeks old. I have just filed for sole legal custody of her for the following reasons:
* her father has barely made any attemp to see her in the last 8 months - maybe once every couple of weeks
* her father has not been able to maintain employment and has contributed nothing financially towards her
* her father has a long history of alcohol and drug addiction and has just last month completed five days in a detox center for alcohol and crack cocaine abuse
* I came to find out that he had been drinking all day, every day and using drugs often and was unable to get himself under control.
I do not want to take my daughter out of his life, but I am extremely concerned about his ability to take care of her. I feel that until he has some sobriety and has gotten his life under control that I should be her sole guardian with him having restricted and supervised visitation. I have filed for custody with an attorney. He was served, did not respond in the 20 days with an appeal, and now I was told that if he does not respond in 60 days a default hearing will be set. He however is telling me that he has an attorney and that I should prepare to get destroyed in court. His driving threat is that because I myself am a recovering addict, no judge will believe anything that I say. I did in fact struggle with addiction for a period of time, but I completed a treatment program 2 years ago and have been clean and sober ever since.
I'm really just wondering what to expect. Would a judge really order a man fresh out of detox for alcohol and crack/cocaine to have alone time/ overnights with an infant? I am told that the court can subpeona the detox records if need be and was wondering if that was true. I just couldn't imagine a judge would find him "well enough" to have to share custody at this point, but maybe I am wrong. I also would like to know if I should be scared about his threats that my past of two years is going to have an impact on the outcome of this case. I would be willing to take a hair follicle test at anytime and truly have nothing to hide.
I'm just wondering how cases like this tend to turn out? I want to feel hopeful that things will go my way, but I have no idea how the law works. Any advice or comments would be greatly appreciated.
* her father has barely made any attemp to see her in the last 8 months - maybe once every couple of weeks
* her father has not been able to maintain employment and has contributed nothing financially towards her
* her father has a long history of alcohol and drug addiction and has just last month completed five days in a detox center for alcohol and crack cocaine abuse
* I came to find out that he had been drinking all day, every day and using drugs often and was unable to get himself under control.
I do not want to take my daughter out of his life, but I am extremely concerned about his ability to take care of her. I feel that until he has some sobriety and has gotten his life under control that I should be her sole guardian with him having restricted and supervised visitation. I have filed for custody with an attorney. He was served, did not respond in the 20 days with an appeal, and now I was told that if he does not respond in 60 days a default hearing will be set. He however is telling me that he has an attorney and that I should prepare to get destroyed in court. His driving threat is that because I myself am a recovering addict, no judge will believe anything that I say. I did in fact struggle with addiction for a period of time, but I completed a treatment program 2 years ago and have been clean and sober ever since.
I'm really just wondering what to expect. Would a judge really order a man fresh out of detox for alcohol and crack/cocaine to have alone time/ overnights with an infant? I am told that the court can subpeona the detox records if need be and was wondering if that was true. I just couldn't imagine a judge would find him "well enough" to have to share custody at this point, but maybe I am wrong. I also would like to know if I should be scared about his threats that my past of two years is going to have an impact on the outcome of this case. I would be willing to take a hair follicle test at anytime and truly have nothing to hide.
I'm just wondering how cases like this tend to turn out? I want to feel hopeful that things will go my way, but I have no idea how the law works. Any advice or comments would be greatly appreciated.
