Hello everyone, so long story short for the ones who don't know my situation. My husband's ex was court ordered to sign over all child support checks to him until the income deduction order went into affect. It has now been 4 $80.00 checks that have been taken out of my husband's check each week since the order was done. Bills are getting very tight due to the extra lil person in our home. DOUBLE EVERYTHING! Two 2 year olds. His ex won't give us that money. She keeps saying that she don't have the checks. She never had a problem with getting every other check until the IDO was made. She also has not paid us a penny since we got her full time in March. We need help. We can't keep doing this, so what I wanna know is how do we go about filing for contempt of court. Should we get our lawyer involved in this? What do we do as far as filing paperwork or getting the court date established? We were planning on waiting until we went back to court for full custody, but she is leaving us no choice.

To tell you a little story, she now has a boyfriend who has a child from another relationship that lives in another state. Well he got something in the mail saying he needs to appear in court because he has not been paying child support. She says he shouldnt have to pay child support for his son. It wasn't right. But when her daughter was born she was getting CS ASAP.

So basically we dont think that she is going to give us a penny back. So we need to get this child taken care of one way.

Someone please help!!!

Try bringing in a copy of the court order stopping the child support to his employer. Ask them to stop it. Then call the child support agency and ask them why it takes a month to send a fax to his employer stopping the checks? Also ask if any of them have been cashed as the court order stated that the ex was to sign them over to you and it has not Happened. IF need be fax them the order. Otherwise your only choice might be to file contempt of court. You would have to check with the local court house for paperwork and the amount of the filing fees.

Hello everyone, so long story short for the ones who don't know my situation. My husband's ex was court ordered to sign over all child support checks to him until the income deduction order went into affect. It has now been 4 $80.00 checks that have been taken out of my husband's check each week since the order was done. Bills are getting very tight due to the extra lil person in our home. DOUBLE EVERYTHING! Two 2 year olds. His ex won't give us that money. She keeps saying that she don't have the checks. She never had a problem with getting every other check until the IDO was made. She also has not paid us a penny since we got her full time in March. We need help. We can't keep doing this, so what I wanna know is how do we go about filing for contempt of court. Should we get our lawyer involved in this? What do we do as far as filing paperwork or getting the court date established? We were planning on waiting until we went back to court for full custody, but she is leaving us no choice.

To tell you a little story, she now has a boyfriend who has a child from another relationship that lives in another state. Well he got something in the mail saying he needs to appear in court because he has not been paying child support. She says he shouldnt have to pay child support for his son. It wasn't right. But when her daughter was born she was getting CS ASAP.

So basically we dont think that she is going to give us a penny back. So we need to get this child taken care of one way.

Someone please help!!!
I agree with the previous answer. He can take a CERTIFIED copy of the order to his employer and explain the situation. He also needs to GO TO the DOR's office to speak to his caseworker. They are really good at taking thier sweet time about notifiying employers when the CS goes down (but will notify within 3 days when it increases :( ). They are supposed to send an amended IDO notice within at least 15 days, it is very simple for them to do and he should DEMAND that they do so at once.

You can find the Motion For Civil Contempt/Enforcement at www.flcourts.org
click on family law forms. All he has to do is fill it out, attach a copy of the court order, file the original and send his ex and DOR copies by certified return reciept mail. As soon as he files and has proof that the copies were mailed, he can ask for a hearing date to be set. This can all be done easily without paying an attorney.

Thanks for the help, I will def. tell my husband, that sounds great!

One more thing...
When my husband called the CSE office, they wouldn't tell him what address the checks were going too. Because the ex told him that she did a change of address when she moved in with her aunt for a couple of weeks. So she is either lying about having the checks and is hiding them, don't really know where they are (doubt it), or they are going to her aunt's house. The sad thing is that the aunt's house is a drug house. We are so afraid that they might get those checks and cash them. But if someone does, we will def. press charges. When my husband called CSE they also told him they arn't suppose to tell him if they have been cashed or not. The one person he talked to had said that they haven't been yet. But that was also 2 weeks ago. Now there is another check coming out of my husband's check for next week. So that's $320.00.

Would he look petty for wanting to go to court about this? What is the best thing to do here. Go ahead and proceed or spend the money to fight it. Which to me we would like to do even though he will probably be spending more money because hewe wants a better shot at full custody when he goes for it in December.

Her sister called and told me that she said she has given him money and has been helping out with the child. PLEASE!!! We have gotten nothing but headaches and stress. Her and her boyfriend are still jobless, so that's another reason why we think she has those checks. She has still not shown any signs of changing. ARGGGGGGHHHHH!!!

One more thing...
When my husband called the CSE office, they wouldn't tell him what address the checks were going too. Because the ex told him that she did a change of address when she moved in with her aunt for a couple of weeks. So she is either lying about having the checks and is hiding them, don't really know where they are (doubt it), or they are going to her aunt's house. The sad thing is that the aunt's house is a drug house. We are so afraid that they might get those checks and cash them. But if someone does, we will def. press charges. When my husband called CSE they also told him they arn't suppose to tell him if they have been cashed or not. The one person he talked to had said that they haven't been yet. But that was also 2 weeks ago. Now there is another check coming out of my husband's check for next week. So that's $320.00.

Would he look petty for wanting to go to court about this? What is the best thing to do here. Go ahead and proceed or spend the money to fight it. Which to me we would like to do even though he will probably be spending more money because hewe wants a better shot at full custody when he goes for it in December.

Her sister called and told me that she said she has given him money and has been helping out with the child. PLEASE!!! We have gotten nothing but headaches and stress. Her and her boyfriend are still jobless, so that's another reason why we think she has those checks. She has still not shown any signs of changing. ARGGGGGGHHHHH!!!
He should go ahead and file the contempt motion, and if the court order requires her to notify him or THE COURT of any address change, he can add that to the motion. As I said in my previous post, he doesn't need an attorney to file, contempt hearings are pretty cut and dried- the Judge looks at what the person has been ordered to do, checks to see if they obeyed the court order, if they didn't the Judge makes a finding of contempt.

Ok everyone, so my husband went down to the Child Supp. Enf. office today and they confirmed that all the checks have been written, sent, AND CASHED. She is lying to everyone about the checks. She told her family that she called the CSE office and they said there hasn't been any checks sent. Then her dad sat right there with her and made her call them and then she came clean and said she did cash one of the checks. She is also saying that her aunt, (the one who's address the checks are going to) cashed them. When she called CSE, she told them that she wanted to press charges and that she needed a form to fill out. So they are sending it out to her. Her mother told her that she is gonna make her fill it out and sign it and that the mom herself is going to mail it in, that way she can't lie and say she sent it. Everyone knows she is lying and what I want to know is what are the normal charges people get for this? We are just making sure we are not wasting our time!!

Ok what if she is right about someone else signing the checks, what is most likely gonna happen?
Do we still file contempt of court?
Do we press charges to both of them for signing a check that was technically not either of theirs.
Will they even do anything about it?

Second, what happens if she fills out the form and sticks to her story and she DID indeed sign and cash those checks?
What will most likely happen to her?

What kind of charges do people get for this?

HELP!!!!! I am about to go crazy, wait..... I have gone crazy!!!!

BUT.... in better news they stopped the CS today!!!! YEAH!!!!

What kind of crazy woman is going to press charges (identity theft, mail fraud, and I'm sure someone else know what else) against thier own aunt rather than fess up? It is not only irrational and irresponsible...
She admitted to the one...then she is in contempt.
They will verify the signature and if the clerk ID-ed the person usually they write the ID info on the check to cash it or if she deposited it into an account they will trace it to find out who's name is on the account....IF she is lying she will be caught. She(the ""mom"") will then get in trouble for fraud and then you can do a civil contempt of court.
I agree with your lawyer .. to an extent... let CSE find out what is going on and then do contempt....Let her dig her hole a little deeper and let her character show.
IF the aunt did steal the checks, you could ask the court for restitution to have the money paid back to you. But I think the ""mom"" is lying. Why else would she have said that the check were not mailed?? Why would she have not been hot on the money trail, Cashing the checks herself like she did the first one!
And either way, the mom is responsible because she didn't update her address with CSE or forward her mail like a normal, rational, responsible adult.
Thank Goodness that child is with you and her Daddy!

Het Stuck, you hit the nail on the head about everything. That about her telling rveryone the checks weren't sent was exactly what I was thinking on my way to work this morning. Why would she told her parents no checks have been sent, when and if she positively did not have them. I know if I was on the line about being in contempt, I would have been finding them checks. Yes, she is a crazy woman. On top of that, we found out all of this yesterday and then had to let her daughter come see her. It was so hard, but we are better people than her and we wouldn't deny her visitation. It's for Kayley, not her mom in my eyes.

You know I was thinking, she may have altered her signature to make it look like somebody else. Or, she really wasn't thinking at that time, which I'm sure she wasn't. See everytime she has stolen anything, she only got a slap on the wrist or very little jail time (12 days for stealing $5,000 from her past employer). So I guess she thought my husband wouldn't try and find out about the checks. My husband is a "lay back and watch her screw herself kinda person" She probably didnt think we would look into it.
Please pray for us, we could use it...

Het Stuck, you hit the nail on the head about everything. That about her telling rveryone the checks weren't sent was exactly what I was thinking on my way to work this morning. Why would she told her parents no checks have been sent, when and if she positively did not have them. I know if I was on the line about being in contempt, I would have been finding them checks. Yes, she is a crazy woman. On top of that, we found out all of this yesterday and then had to let her daughter come see her. It was so hard, but we are better people than her and we wouldn't deny her visitation. It's for Kayley, not her mom in my eyes.

You know I was thinking, she may have altered her signature to make it look like somebody else. Or, she really wasn't thinking at that time, which I'm sure she wasn't. See everytime she has stolen anything, she only got a slap on the wrist or very little jail time (12 days for stealing $5,000 from her past employer). So I guess she thought my husband wouldn't try and find out about the checks. My husband is a "lay back and watch her screw herself kinda person" She probably didnt think we would look into it.
Please pray for us, we could use it...

I just wanted to comment on this (a minor point, I know). Unless a person is truly an excellent professional forger, any hadwriting expert worth the change in his pocket will be able to tell if a person forged or altered a signature. There are cetain "tells" that a person does not change when altering a signature. Also, the stroke of the pen is a tell-tale sign that someone was trying to alter or disguise their signature. I know that was not the whole point of your post, but I did want to let you know that if that is what she did, it can be proven.

I just wanted to comment on this (a minor point, I know). Unless a person is truly an excellent professional forger, any hadwriting expert worth the change in his pocket will be able to tell if a person forged or altered a signature. There are cetain "tells" that a person does not change when altering a signature. Also, the stroke of the pen is a tell-tale sign that someone was trying to alter or disguise their signature. I know that was not the whole point of your post, but I did want to let you know that if that is what she did, it can be proven.

OK thank you, that is good to know. Yeah I think she really did do this!!!
Since this is a CSE case do you think they will go to the extremities to catch whoever did this? Are these the procedures?

I would think (i'm assuming) that CSE would turn this over to the police. You might want to verify with them.

Our lawyer told my husband that he doesn't want us to file contempt of court. He just wants to wait until we go to court in December for full custody. He just wants to us that against her. He thinks that would be better to make us once again look like better people. We are so torn on what to do. All of you say contempt, all our family and friends say contempt, yet the one who we would think would know family law better says not to. I mean we can still do it and like you all said dont tell the lawyer. I dont know. I guess we need to weigh out our options. He asked us not to do anything behind his back.She will be "paying" later when and if she loses custody for her daughter. Paying as in mentally not physically. I had a family member tell me to make a police report on it at least, just for records. Alright i'm done whining.

Our lawyer told my husband that he doesn't want us to file contempt of court. He just wants to wait until we go to court in December for full custody. He just wants to us that against her. He thinks that would be better to make us once again look like better people. We are so torn on what to do. All of you say contempt, all our family and friends say contempt, yet the one who we would think would know family law better says not to. I mean we can still do it and like you all said dont tell the lawyer. I dont know. I guess we need to weigh out our options. He asked us not to do anything behind his back.She will be "paying" later when and if she loses custody for her daughter. Paying as in mentally not physically. I had a family member tell me to make a police report on it at least, just for records. Alright i'm done whining.

This is a decision that y'all will have to make. However, I would like to point out that if you do decide to file for contempt, it can be brought to the court's attention (in Dec) that you DID file for contempt for..., and if she is found in contempt, that can also be presented to the court to bolster your case. If (when) she is found in contempt, it will be much more difficult for the court to blow her actions off if you have the documentation of contempt to present to the court.

I would have to agree with your attorney. Your Attorney can get the records of the checks being cashed and by who. Then he can present them to the judge when you go to court. Then while in court your attorney can motion that it be added to her childsupport amount until it is paid back. I understand you wanting to get the money back, but when going for full custody you need to be carefull. Her cashing the checks will upset the judge and help when he decides if you get full custody. Just thank good that it finally stoped coming out of his checks, now she can not get anything. Good luck with what ever you and your husband decide to do.

Our lawyer told my husband that he doesn't want us to file contempt of court. He just wants to wait until we go to court in December for full custody. He just wants to us that against her. He thinks that would be better to make us once again look like better people. We are so torn on what to do. All of you say contempt, all our family and friends say contempt, yet the one who we would think would know family law better says not to. I mean we can still do it and like you all said dont tell the lawyer. I dont know. I guess we need to weigh out our options. He asked us not to do anything behind his back.She will be "paying" later when and if she loses custody for her daughter. Paying as in mentally not physically. I had a family member tell me to make a police report on it at least, just for records. Alright i'm done whining.
I really don't quite understand why your attorney doesn't want him to file contempt yet (personally I think it would help your husband's case). But, considering that the attorney specifically asked him not to do anything behind his back, my advice is this:
If this attorney is actually working on the custody case and is making progress, I would say do as the attorney asks and wait to file.
However, if the attorney isn't doing much and no real progress is being made toward permanent custody, then I would say file but inform the attorney of the filing and the reasons for it.

I don't think you should do anything "behind your lawyer's back". Rather someones just pointed out that it COULD be done without the atty. Sometimes there are specific reasons that the lawyers give you advise-sometimes it's based on the previous actions of the Judge, local court preferences etc... Perhaps your lawyer feels that it is best to wait because the judge will be upset at the "mom" for not following court orders and thus rule in your husband's favor.
I think your lawyer is trying to show that the "mom" does not make any positive contrabutions to the child's life...no financial support, irregular visits, irresponsible decisions, etc...
Any Normal mother faced with losing her child would be doing the "right thing". They would be getting a job, setting up a household, visiting thier child on schedule,and paying support(even if not ordered!). But this woman is stealing from the child (in my opinion -has been since march!) and is not even bothering to keep to the schedule because she wants to go out of town with some loser boyfriend(again-my opinion) !!
It couldn't hurt to ask the lawyer his motivations for not wanting to file and the advantages and disadvantages.

I would ask as stated above. I would word it though as "would it do more damage to her, if contempt charges are made before trial, or during trial". It may be that the attorney wants to double slam her, get her custody revoked, and have the judge get her for contempt at the same time? I'm not a lawyer, so I am guessing here.

Well, Well, Well, I bet you guys thought that was the end of this topic but guess what... CSE wrote another check to her after we went down to the local office and got it stopped. I am SOOO friggin mad. They wrote the check today and we stopped it last week. They told us it was officially stopped. So now once again she is gonna get it from her aunt's house and cash it. What do we do? My husband is gonna call there tomorrow and raise HELL!!!

Well, Well, Well, I bet you guys thought that was the end of this topic but guess what... CSE wrote another check to her after we went down to the local office and got it stopped. I am SOOO friggin mad. They wrote the check today and we stopped it last week. They told us it was officially stopped. So now once again she is gonna get it from her aunt's house and cash it. What do we do? My husband is gonna call there tomorrow and raise HELL!!!
I might know of someone who can help, I sent you a PM about it.
Xena :)

Well we called the CSE office today and reported that he needs an investigation on his CS case. She once again is saying she has not gotten ANY checks at all now. Even after she told her mother she did cash one. So they told us to call back in 20 days and they were going to get the signed checks and find out who cashed them. Hopefully end this once and for all. They also did take another payment out of his check tonight for Friday's paycheck. SO she will get another one next week. She cashed the one she got today and went out to the club tonight. I am so sick of this mess and I am miserable over it. Our hands are tied and there is nothing we can do.

We got a certified letter in the mail today and the courts scheduled a mediation for next month. It said that he had to go and he and the child's mother had to split the charge. If they didnt they would be in contempt. But they have already went to court over this and it was taken care of. I am faxing it to the lawyer's office tomorrow to see if he has to go or not. Does it sound like they can cancel since they already went to court and established custody. This was referred by the first judge they went in front of. The one that said he would give her 10 more days to comply and for her to seek legal advice. They have went back to court since then and had a different magistrate. So just wondering do you think they will be able to cancel or will they have to attend? We just need to know so we can get our money together. It is gonna be about $160.00 each person.

Last night the child's grandmother came and picked her up at around 6:00 pm. At 9:00 pm my husband called over to their house and wanted to know why she had not been dropped off yet. She is to be home by 8:30 pm. She said she didnt have a ride over and that her sister came over and she would take her home. She said her parenst were out to eat. So 30 minutes past (now 9:30 pm) and says my sister had to leave and now you are gonna have to come pick her up. It was pouring rain and I have a 22 month old daughter myself. My husband (the father) was at work and so I had to go pick her up. I get there around 10:15 pm and take her home. What he wants to know is since she does not have a car and her own mother picked her up and did not return her at her normal time would we look bad if we cut her off from the Wednesday night visits. Only because for one the mother has seizures (drug induced) and then leaving her alone with her child and with no vehicles (After the parents and my husband agreed they not leave her alone with the child, long story). Second she ONCE AGAIN did not have a ride home for her. I had to pack my child up and go get her. This happens about every other visit with her. We can't continue to pay her child support, not receive any from her back at all, and spend our gas to have to pick her up every time she gets her because her license is suspended and dont have a car. She only has her about 2 hours on Wed. visits because she cant come and pick her up until her mother gets off of work and comes to pick her up at 6:00 pm. (Even though 2 hours is better than none) thats beside the point I am trying to make. LOL PLease any help would be much appreciated!! What can we do???

I can not remember, are the visits supposed to be supervised? Does it state that transportation is supposed to be given there and back by the mom, when it is her turn to see the child? I just can't believe how much she is digging her own grave. I do not know if you have to show up? If your lawyer can't get that judge or the new magistrate, to change that order, SHOW UP! Have the money ready. I have a feeling that the mom won't have her share, and you will look good once again, and the mom will be found in contempt of court!

I can not remember, are the visits supposed to be supervised? Does it state that transportation is supposed to be given there and back by the mom, when it is her turn to see the child? I just can't believe how much she is digging her own grave. I do not know if you have to show up? If your lawyer can't get that judge or the new magistrate, to change that order, SHOW UP! Have the money ready. I have a feeling that the mom won't have her share, and you will look good once again, and the mom will be found in contempt of court!

No it wasnt court ordered for supervised visits. That was just something her parents talked with my husband about because no one can trust her. Not even her parents or any of her family. I dont remember it saying anything about transportation in the court order so I am assuming no. But when we had our visitation he pciked her up and dropped her off.
She wont get a job because she uses people and takes my mans CS checks. None of her family or friends will take her to and from work so therefore she cant get a job. They allow her to stay at their house rent free and she doesnt do any cleaning or cooking. She cant even buy food and diapers for her child when she is over visiting her. Her mother buys it all. It sickening. We think the reason they do all this for her is because she always uses the child as a pawn and tells her parents that when she gets her back they will never see her again. They also know if they kick her out they will never see the child because she will have the visitation wherever she is living. The last place she lived in I wouldnt even let my dog walk in the house. We heard lots of terrible things about where she was staying. Rats sitting at the table eating her sandwich while she walked out of the room-Bad!!! Yes Yes!! Boy are we in for it huh?

oh yeah and about the money she wont have it. She will probably go in without it thinking "I always get out of every situation so I will get out of this one too" Well I got news for her we are not covering it thats for sure.

oh yeah and about the money she wont have it. She will probably go in without it thinking "I always get out of every situation so I will get out of this one too" Well I got news for her we are not covering it thats for sure.
That is good, I hope the parents don't give it to her either! If she ends up having any type of visitation, god knows why, but it is possible, then I would ask the judge to make the stipulation that each parent is responsible for thier own transportation to pick up and drop off the child, and if it is not done, that that could be considered contempt of that order.

IF the visitation for Wen. is court ordered then you should NOT deviate from it. You should let the mom visit with the child because it will look very bad if you do not.
However, The "MOm" should be there to pick up the child. You do not have to hand the child over the the grandparents. So If grandma shows up without the mom you can refuse visitation (since the mom is the one with the right to visit not Grandma.)

IF the visitation for Wen. is court ordered then you should NOT deviate from it. You should let the mom visit with the child because it will look very bad if you do not.
However, The "MOm" should be there to pick up the child. You do not have to hand the child over the the grandparents. So If grandma shows up without the mom you can refuse visitation (since the mom is the one with the right to visit not Grandma.)

Hi stuckinamuck, we are talking about when she goes back to court to get the current visitation order changed, I don't think the OP would ever go against the current or any order, and I pray that I did not say anything to indicate that she should do so. I think I only recommended that she see if the judge that they are going to go in front of, puts some kind of stipulation on the transpo so what happened does not happen again. The person picked up the child for visitation, but then claimed to not have a way to return the child, so the OP had to go get the child, in a very inconvenient trip. Thanks for your input, it is true, no one but the judge can put stipulations on a court ordered visit. Have a great day stuckinamuck!

What he wants to know is since she does not have a car and her own mother picked her up and did not return her at her normal time would we look bad if we cut her off from the Wednesday night visits.
I took that to mean before they went to court. Since if it was ordered by the court -how could it look bad?

OK, the thing is, is that when he went to court the order said liberal visitation, ie, every other weekend, etc. by state guidelines. Thats exactly how it was worded. She has no way of transportation at all. She keeps getting all these people that my husband don't even want to know where we live to drop her off. People that can remember what we have and come take it while we sleep. He don't want that. The other problem is that on Sundays her parents go to the football games every home game and this also leaves her no one to bring her home. So what my husband wants to do now is ask that the child be brought home before the game. The last game we had at home was at 4 pm and she said her parenst stay after and party and they dont get home til 11pm, so we once again had to pick her up. We are not trying to be difficult but we cant be responsible for interrupting our routine to pick her up. (Which we would do if we have to) We just think it's BS that her mom will come pick her up but not be responsible enough to be sure she gets gome. Its like they could care less. Or that she is trying to get her to stay the night again. The problem is that the mother lies to everyone and they always believe her. She says she has a ride for her but never does.

So would it be wrong of him to ask to have her home before the game? I think it's reasonable, because this already happened last home game.