I have a question, its probably a dumb one...but I'm going to ask anyway.
Is it possible to have a custody order changed, based soley on the fact that I made him mad at me?

He has no job, and we were supposed to share the task of transportation to and from visits. But I alway end up doing all of the driving because he has no job and never has money for gas, he always asks "can you please do the driving cause I have no money and no gas" being the nice person that I am, I always say yes.(even though I haven't received a penny in support since October of 2005). Well anyway back to the custody thing, I made him mad because I had to work, and I had no way of getting off of work, so I asked his mother to take our daughter to the orthodontist, so he is mad because I didn't ask him, he says that me and his mother are trying to take his rights away because of it?( I know pretty stupid) but he got mad enough to tell our daughter that he is taking me back to court to get more visitation to get his rights back. She came home crying because she doesn't want to go to his house anymore than what she is right now. She is 11. Any input would be appreciated.

I have a question, its probably a dumb one...but I'm going to ask anyway.
Is it possible to have a custody order changed, based soley on the fact that I made him mad at me?

He has no job, and we were supposed to share the task of transportation to and from visits. But I alway end up doing all of the driving because he has no job and never has money for gas, he always asks "can you please do the driving cause I have no money and no gas" being the nice person that I am, I always say yes.(even though I haven't received a penny in support since October of 2005). Well anyway back to the custody thing, I made him mad because I had to work, and I had no way of getting off of work, so I asked his mother to take our daughter to the orthodontist, so he is mad because I didn't ask him, he says that me and his mother are trying to take his rights away because of it?( I know pretty stupid) but he got mad enough to tell our daughter that he is taking me back to court to get more visitation to get his rights back. She came home crying because she doesn't want to go to his house anymore than what she is right now. She is 11. Any input would be appreciated.
Custody cannot be changed just because the NCP is upset with the CP.

However, if your ex lives close by the correct thing to do was to have contacted him first about taking child to Dr. This way if he then claims that he doesn't have money for gas, you would be totally justified in asking Grandma to do it.

No matter what though, custody cannot be changed over something like this, unless you have a pattern of refusing visits and never contacting Dad anout Dr. appts, etc. (from what I remember of your posts, I don't think you do that so you have nothing to worry about)

When he takes you back to court or if he is stupid enough to....be sure to bring up that he is behind in the child support. I doubt the judge will make your daughter visit him in jail. ;)

Thank you for your replies, and Xena, you are right, I go out of my way to make sure he spends time with her. We have always put our differences aside for her sake. No matter how bad my skin crawls around him, I am nice, I tell him everything that goes on with her, notify him of every school function. During the summer I even told him that he could pick her up at daycare to spend extra time with her during the day while I'm at work. I do the absolute best to be the best mom I can be, and I believe that what we went through as a couple should not impact the way my daughter views her father.

Thank you for your replies, and Xena, you are right, I go out of my way to make sure he spends time with her. We have always put our differences aside for her sake. No matter how bad my skin crawls around him, I am nice, I tell him everything that goes on with her, notify him of every school function. During the summer I even told him that he could pick her up at daycare to spend extra time with her during the day while I'm at work. I do the absolute best to be the best mom I can be, and I believe that what we went through as a couple should not impact the way my daughter views her father.
I congratulate you on putting your daughter first no matter how you feel about her father. I know that it's very hard to do. My first ex beat me, held a loaded rifle to my head and tied me to the bed and raped me 5 days after giving birth to our son. For years I absolutley hated him, but no matter what, I knew that he was still my son's father so I never said anything bad about his Dad and I always allowed visits even though there wasn't a visitation order. I have never regretted it, and the nice thing is that after my son grew up I haven't had to deal with his father in over 14 years.
You are a good Mom. :)

I have a question, its probably a dumb one...but I'm going to ask anyway.
Is it possible to have a custody order changed, based soley on the fact that I made him mad at me?

He has no job, and we were supposed to share the task of transportation to and from visits. But I alway end up doing all of the driving because he has no job and never has money for gas, he always asks "can you please do the driving cause I have no money and no gas" being the nice person that I am, I always say yes.(even though I haven't received a penny in support since October of 2005). Well anyway back to the custody thing, I made him mad because I had to work, and I had no way of getting off of work, so I asked his mother to take our daughter to the orthodontist, so he is mad because I didn't ask him, he says that me and his mother are trying to take his rights away because of it?( I know pretty stupid) but he got mad enough to tell our daughter that he is taking me back to court to get more visitation to get his rights back. She came home crying because she doesn't want to go to his house anymore than what she is right now. She is 11. Any input would be appreciated.

I live in PA....How is he getting away with non-payment??? My daughters father disappeared for a year, came back, got picked up on a bench warrent(that I had nothing to do with. Demestics did it on there own)Was made to pay so much up front or go to jail. He tried to do it again for about 3 months and they froze his checking account(again I found out when he did). Lets say he is not always the best payer but never goes for more than 2 months without some kind of payment.

I live in PA....How is he getting away with non-payment??? My daughters father disappeared for a year, came back, got picked up on a bench warrent(that I had nothing to do with. Demestics did it on there own)Was made to pay so much up front or go to jail. He tried to do it again for about 3 months and they froze his checking account(again I found out when he did). Lets say he is not always the best payer but never goes for more than 2 months without some kind of payment.


He has not held a job for as long as I can remember. He works long enough to get unemployment, and when that runs out he works under the table. Or his latest is that he keeps going to the doctor saying he is ill, which turned out that he has kidney stones, so his doctor signed a paper stating that he is disabled and unable to work for the period of one year, which he in turn sent into domestic relations and welfare, so they did not find him in contempt, and have stopped collection on his child support for the period of one year.Arrears are still adding up. He is now on welfare collecting cash assistance, food stamps, full medical coverage.

Custody cannot be changed just because the NCP is upset with the CP.

However, if your ex lives close by the correct thing to do was to have contacted him first about taking child to Dr. This way if he then claims that he doesn't have money for gas, you would be totally justified in asking Grandma to do it.

No matter what though, custody cannot be changed over something like this, unless you have a pattern of refusing visits and never contacting Dad anout Dr. appts, etc. (from what I remember of your posts, I don't think you do that so you have nothing to worry about)

Well Xena, I followed your advice to a Tee, and I asked him to take her to her orthodontist appointment, and at the last minute, being last night, and her appointment being today, he called to say that he couldn't take her because he has no money for gas, so I offered him money for gas, then he changed it to "well my truck is broke down too". So thank god I had a back up plan.

Well Xena, I followed your advice to a Tee, and I asked him to take her to her orthodontist appointment, and at the last minute, being last night, and her appointment being today, he called to say that he couldn't take her because he has no money for gas, so I offered him money for gas, then he changed it to "well my truck is broke down too". So thank god I had a back up plan.
Good, now you need to document (for YOUR records in case of future troubles) that he shirked his responsibility of ensuring that the child got the proper medical care. See how that works?;) Just let him hang himself.

Well Xena, I followed your advice to a Tee, and I asked him to take her to her orthodontist appointment, and at the last minute, being last night, and her appointment being today, he called to say that he couldn't take her because he has no money for gas, so I offered him money for gas, then he changed it to "well my truck is broke down too". So thank god I had a back up plan.

Good, you did the correct thing so now instead of him trying to use it against you, you will be able to use this as a way of proving him not caring. As mommyof4 said, be sure to document everything.