My husband and I have four kids, two are ours together and the other two are mine from my previous marriage. My husband has been paying child support, through garnishment, for two children, one of which we don't believe is his. He moved from Idaho to Salt Lake in 2000, where he was served with paperwork, which was not served directly to him but was signed for by a room mate, from a girl in Idaho. He was single at the time in Salt Lake, and did not take the appropriate actions to dispute the papers. He moved back to Idaho, we got married, and now he is being garnished for 50% of his wages. We have spoken to CS services, and have been told that there is nothing we can do to get a paternity test ordered. We were also told that no judge in the U.S. would change a child's paternity like this. Now, we have requested the date of the order, and we think it was originally ordered in 2003. We have no idea where they live and my husband has never seen the child. If this child is his, there is no problem paying support, but we would like to see the child. The kids should all know that they have brothers and sisters out there. We need to know if there is a chance to get a DNA test ordered, and if it is ordered, we pay for it, will there be a judge that will consider it? If the child is proven to not be his, will they cancel the child support order? If the child ends up being his, how can we get visitation?

My husband and I have four kids, two are ours together and the other two are mine from my previous marriage. My husband has been paying child support, through garnishment, for two children, one of which we don't believe is his. He moved from Idaho to Salt Lake in 2000, where he was served with paperwork from a girl in Idaho. He was single at the time in Salt Lake, and did not take any actions to dispute the papers. He moved back to Idaho, we got married, and now he is being garnished for 50% of his wages. We have spoken to CS services, and have been told that there is nothing we can do to get a paternity test ordered. We were also told that no judge in the U.S. would change a child's paternity like this. Now, we have requested the date of the order, and we think it was originally ordered in 2003. We have no idea where they live and my husband has never seen the child. If this child is his, there is no problem paying support, but we would like to see the child. The kids should all know that they have brothers and sisters out there. We need to know if there is a chance to get a DNA test ordered, and if it is ordered, we pay for it, will there be a judge that will consider it? If the child is proven to not be his, will they cancel the child support order? If the child ends up being his, how can we get visitation?
Because he was given the legal notice and opportunity to request a DNA and did not respond, he was declared to be the legal father by default. He will never be able to get a court to order a DNA test, nor will any court even hear any motions denying paternity now.

The best thing your husband can do now is to file for a modification of CS and for visitation rights. The best place to start that process is to find the court order, start with the county that the mother lived in when they broke up, or better yet, does he still have the papers he was served with? If so, that will give him the court location. If he cannot locate the court order himself, he should ask the CSE agency for a copy of it.

Quite often the court orders or other papers in a court file will have the CP's address (last known) on them, he can check for that. He can also ask CSE for the address, they may or may not be willing to give it to him, but a word of caution- let HIM do all the talking to CSE.

This situation is absurd! I have been hearing about the problem with paternity fraud all across the U.S. I can not believe that the court would not order a DNA test, and would continue to force someone to pay for a child that may not be his. If we could get an order, we could prove it. Like I said before, if the child is actually his, we have no problem with the support, we would want visitation. I find so many of the child support/paternity/custody laws absolutely ridiculous! I was a single mom for a few years and I received no assistance from anyone, and I did not want any. I do understand that children cost, and that mothers do need and deserve help. If there is a good chance that the named father isn't the correct father, and there is no relationship between that said father and child, (only due to the mother), wouldn't the court want to get support from the REAL father? As a mother, I would want to have my child know their real dad and be able to build a relationship. It is the females like these, who are looking for a guy to get money from, that make us all look so bad!

Well you are not alone.
HEre is a link I thought might intrest you:
(DNA test Said not the Father and yet he still had to pay)
http://abclocal.go.com/wjrt/story?sectionfiltered=local&id=4181556

This situation is absurd! I have been hearing about the problem with paternity fraud all across the U.S. I can not believe that the court would not order a DNA test, and would continue to force someone to pay for a child that may not be his. If we could get an order, we could prove it. Like I said before, if the child is actually his, we have no problem with the support, we would want visitation. I find so many of the child support/paternity/custody laws absolutely ridiculous! I was a single mom for a few years and I received no assistance from anyone, and I did not want any. I do understand that children cost, and that mothers do need and deserve help. If there is a good chance that the named father isn't the correct father, and there is no relationship between that said father and child, (only due to the mother), wouldn't the court want to get support from the REAL father? As a mother, I would want to have my child know their real dad and be able to build a relationship. It is the females like these, who are looking for a guy to get money from, that make us all look so bad!
You cannot compare your BF's situation with the cases of true fraud out there. Your BF was notified legally, he had the chance to deny paternity and request a DNA test, he did not do that, as a matter of fact (according to your post) he did absolutley nothing, and he was declared the legal father by DEFAULT. Default means that he had the legal chance but CHOSE to ignore his rights.

There are a tremendous number of true fruad cases out ther, ones where the "legal" father was married, but didn't learn until much later that he wasn't the bio father, the ones where the man was determined to be the legal father by default- although they NEVER were properly notified about thier right to deny paternity, etc.

I'm sorry, but your BF really messed up, he cannot change that now, as I said already, he does have the right to be a part of his child's life if he chooses to. He needs to decide if he wants to or not regardless of true bio paternity, because until the child becomes an adult and agrees to a DNA test, he will never learn the truth.

We are currently investigating the default order, as we are unsure of the date of it. My husband was living in another state, and was at work when the papers were served. They were not served directly to him, but were signed for by a roommate. It is usually assumed that the father is not being responsible, and I am sure that is how it sounds without you all knowing him. He is trying to take care of everything, but the problem is mostly mine. I can not understand how a mother could keep a child away from its "father" and be okay with just taking his money. Like I said before, we have four kids, all of which my husband takes care of everyday and works to bring home his 50% of a paycheck. The issue here is that she probably knows who the real father is, and could possibly be living with him, but we are paying for this child. I have asked many people about this situation, and apparently it happens alot. The paternity fraud would be that we are paying for a child that is not his, and she knows it and refuses to do anything about it. The mother of this child refused a DNA test when my mother-in-law requested that she get one done. My husband has NEVER seen this child, and we have no idea where they are. I do realize that is a whole other issue. It is just so frustrating for me to sit back and not be able to do a thing about some girl living off of my husband's money!

We are currently investigating the default order, as we are unsure of the date of it. My husband was living in another state, and was at work when the papers were served. They were not served directly to him, but were signed for by a roommate. It is usually assumed that the father is not being responsible, and I am sure that is how it sounds without you all knowing him. He is trying to take care of everything, but the problem is mostly mine. I can not understand how a mother could keep a child away from its "father" and be okay with just taking his money. Like I said before, we have four kids, all of which my husband takes care of everyday and works to bring home his 50% of a paycheck. The issue here is that she probably knows who the real father is, and could possibly be living with him, but we are paying for this child. I have asked many people about this situation, and apparently it happens alot. The paternity fraud would be that we are paying for a child that is not his, and she knows it and refuses to do anything about it. The mother of this child refused a DNA test when my mother-in-law requested that she get one done. My husband has NEVER seen this child, and we have no idea where they are. I do realize that is a whole other issue. It is just so frustrating for me to sit back and not be able to do a thing about some girl living off of my husband's money!
You are missing the point. She is not committing fraud if he was ruled the legal father by default. You stated yourself that he was single and took NO ACTION to dispute the claim that he was the legal father. This mess is 100% his fault. There is no getting around that. If you are the one having the problem with this, you need to direct your anger toward your husband, who could not be bothered to find out if he did indeed concieve a child. Or, you could just drop it. You married him knowing he was paying support and had no relationship with the child. I am assuming that if he took no action to disavow paternity, he probably never filed in court for visitation, either. Again, how is that her fault? She is not legally obligated to allow him to have anything to do with the child, unless there is a court order to force her to do so. In this case, I am not so sure she is even MORALLY obligated to allow him to have anything to do with the child. He showed how interested he was when he couldn't even be bothered to answer a court summons to determine paternity. Your husband needs to man up.

Maybe I am using the wrong term, "paternity fraud", or using it the wrong way. I understood it to be the mother naming a man to be the father of a child, while she is knowing full well that he is not the real father. We know that he couldn't be the father, unless she has figured out how to have a healthy baby in five months. This was not a relationship, but a one night stand. There is also the fact that protection was used. It doesn't add up. When she was asked by my husband's parents to have a DNA test, after she showed up at their front door, she refused. It was three and a half years later that he got child support papers, while living in another state. No one is denying the fact that he should have pursued the problem, but his mother was in Idaho trying to get something figured out as well. I am sure that most of you have had difficulty dealing with child support services, and trying to understand all the different laws. It is common for child support services to not be too helpful for the fathers. It isn't like he sat back and did absolutely nothing, he did see an attorney in Utah, who told him that each state has its own child support laws. He actually thought that she would think about it and decide to tell the truth. I think that her morals are proven when you really look at this situation, and try to consider both sides. Believe me, I have thought about every aspect of this case. Like I said before, I am a mother, and I could not imagine not letting the man who I say is the father see the child. He has asked child support services for contact information and was told that info is confidential and that all they could do is let the mother know that he wants to get in contact with her. We still have not heard a thing from her! So, if you were in my situation, would you "just drop it"? I won't, not until we prove paternity or get visitation. It is not just the money, we want her to tell the truth. What about the child, not knowing who is dad? That is 100% her fault!

Maybe I am using the wrong term, "paternity fraud", or using it the wrong way. I understood it to be the mother naming a man to be the father of a child, while she is knowing full well that he is not the real father. We know that he couldn't be the father, unless she has figured out how to have a healthy baby in five months. This was not a relationship, but a one night stand. There is also the fact that protection was used. It doesn't add up. When she was asked by my husband's parents to have a DNA test, after she showed up at their front door, she refused. It was three and a half years later that he got child support papers, while living in another state. No one is denying the fact that he should have pursued the problem, but his mother was in Idaho trying to get something figured out as well. I am sure that most of you have had difficulty dealing with child support services, and trying to understand all the different laws. It is common for child support services to not be too helpful for the fathers. It isn't like he sat back and did absolutely nothing, he did see an attorney in Utah, who told him that each state has its own child support laws. He actually thought that she would think about it and decide to tell the truth. I think that her morals are proven when you really look at this situation, and try to consider both sides. Believe me, I have thought about every aspect of this case. Like I said before, I am a mother, and I could not imagine not letting the man who I say is the father see the child. He has asked child support services for contact information and was told that info is confidential and that all they could do is let the mother know that he wants to get in contact with her. We still have not heard a thing from her! So, if you were in my situation, would you "just drop it"? I won't, not until we prove paternity or get visitation. It is not just the money, we want her to tell the truth. What about the child, not knowing who is dad? That is 100% her fault!

As I said in the private message, where it was stated that I am an angry, manhating, system working woman (oh yeah, that will certainly induce me to be helpful and understanding), it cannot be paternity fraud because he NEVER RESPONDED TO THE SUMMONS. HE HAD THE CHANCE TO DENY PATERNITY AND HAVE IT PROVEN IN COURT. HE DIDN'T. His parents had and have nothing whatsoever to do with this. They have no right to demand ANYTHING from her, whether that be a DNA test or visitation with the child. For the last dang time, he has the right to file for visitation with the child. If he files, and he is not a raging abusive, alcoholic, drug addicted, child molestor, he will get visitaiton.

Now, as to finding out where she is...he needs to request a copy of everything (the order and record of all payments) from CSE. They cannot tell him where she is, but in the records, the address the checks are sent to should be listed somewhere. He is legally entitled to all documentation concerning his child support case. He may have to pay for the copies, but it is well worth it.

One last thing...please try to decide who is posting under your name. I am assuming that you and your husband are capable of speaking for yourselves. And tell your husband to never contact me with the trash he sent me in a pm ever again.

Now I know your getting upset. If you would re-read the my last pm, you should see a little trickery. You should know that a recovery service does not have to report, of notify the person being summond ,other than the agency. Nor do they tell you of any recent name or address of who its from.If you understood what I said, I did notify the Utah css, all the could tell me was the court date of the already pasr summons.When you are summond and leave or move with no foward address, thay cannot send you a summonds in the mail, they have to drop it in someones hand with a signature.But thats not when they set the preceedings.Its already in motion. Yes I did have two weeks to dispute,which I did,and also spoke with a lawyer.If you understand the story and had no idea who this person is, because of the name change, what would you do.You act like my parents were threatning her,hold on. its not the 70's .they even invited her in to see how we had met.they were only lwanting to know who she was.their was no threat.I dont know how it is down in Texas,Not all mixed children have blue eyes.My daughter, nope,my two boys,all were born with dark dark brown eyes.their eyes were so dark they couldn't tell what color they were at first.there was a diferent way,I totally agree,didn't think it was necessary.Im glad ou see the right thing to do for your children.I been waiting three weeks for all the papers css has on me. their only suppossed to have 2 days, their trying to figure out the two different aliases they have for her,and determine which is right....later

Now I know your getting upset. If you would re-read the my last pm, you should see a little trickery. You should know that a recovery service does not have to report, of notify the person being summond ,other than the agency. Nor do they tell you of any recent name or address of who its from.If you understood what I said, I did notify the Utah css, all the could tell me was the court date of the already pasr summons.When you are summond and leave or move with no foward address, thay cannot send you a summonds in the mail, they have to drop it in someones hand with a signature.But thats not when they set the preceedings.Its already in motion. Yes I did have two weeks to dispute,which I did,and also spoke with a lawyer.If you understand the story and had no idea who this person is, because of the name change, what would you do.You act like my parents were threatning her,hold on. its not the 70's .they even invited her in to see how we had met.they were only lwanting to know who she was.their was no threat.I dont know how it is down in Texas,Not all mixed children have blue eyes.My daughter, nope,my two boys,all were born with dark dark brown eyes.their eyes were so dark they couldn't tell what color they were at first.there was a diferent way,I totally agree,didn't think it was necessary.Im glad ou see the right thing to do for your children.I been waiting three weeks for all the papers css has on me. their only suppossed to have 2 days, their trying to figure out the two different aliases they have for her,and determine which is right....later
Okay, now wait...are you now saying that she filed two seperate child support cases against you for the same child and used an alias to do so? Are you saying you DID try to respond to the summons to dispute paternity? (You and your wife need to get your facts straight, here.) Quite honestly, your story keeps evolving and turning into something else the farther you go. Tell you what, put EVERYTHING in a concise post without all of the irrelevant details so we can figure out exactly what you are trying to say.

Mochasgirl:

I just answered your husband's PM to me. I will tell you the same thing I told him- I will no longer assist you or him on this site. If there are any more PMs from EITHER one of you, I will report them and ask that you BOTH be banned from this site.
Xena (I didn't choose this name for nothing- I am a fighter- I fight for other's rights and my own and I will NOT be bullied, just like the TV XENA).

You two just don't get it. What part of show up to court and dispute the allegations of paternity, did he not get? He is now mad because he screwed up, and he wants a second chance. There is no second chance, and if he was sure he wasn't the father, then I don't see why he did not show up? If you want to ask questions, then ask them on the board, don't pm people with pissy messages. It is not now, nor will it ever be our fault because we can not cure what has happened. So in english, husband did not show, she won her case. If he would have shown up, then she would have been busted for the liar you guys say she was, but you will never know now, because he did not show up. Even if she did send you a court date with an asummed name, you didn't show up to either of them. I feel for the financial hardship, that is for sure, but you can not change that. If he wants the chance to see if he is the father, then he should get to know the child, and ask when the child is 18, if he/she will agree to a D.N.A test. At least you will have answers then.

My husband is puerto rican, and both of our girls have blond hair and blue eyes.

All I was doing was asking for a little assistance or advice from anyone who might know something about the laws/rules. This has turned into a real mess. I said, in a previous post, that maybe I was using the wrong word or didn't really understand the meaning of "paternity fraud." I am a nurse, not a lawyer, and I have had no experience with anything like this. I just thought, after reading some of the other postings on this site, that I might be able to find some different ways to approach this situation. I never said that my husband was looking for a "cure", and I didn't know that everyone would think that we were blaming them for this situation. I don't blame people, if I am in a mess, it is my mess. I have never been someone to talk about my life publicly. I just needed some assistance, if at all possible. We were, in no way, asking for a second chance. Like I said previously, I have spoken to attorneys and to CSS multiple times. Their answers were pretty much like all of yours, but I always think, "there still could be a chance...."
I am not giving up, we had already requested all of the things that all of you said, and we will file for some visitation. I hope that if any of you were ever to be in a situation that needed some advice, that you would be able to find it. As someone said before, I married him knowing about this, and you are right. I married him, will support him, and will help him in any way that I can. That doesn't mean that I agree with, or support all the decisions that he made in his past. Everyone makes mistakes, right?......

So you all know, my postings are mine.

I am sorry, I will take on a more nice attitude. I do understand your delima, both as the wife of a man you love, and of a person who is also effected by this garnishment. I wish all of us could tell you that he could turn back time, and be there to contest the paternity. You know by now, he can not, and for that I am really sorry. I hope he takes the time to get to know this child, since he has to raise it financially. He and the child might benefit from a healthy relationship. I wish you and your whole family good luck in the future. Once again, sorry we could not tell you that there was something that you can do.