About six months ago, an ex-girlfriend left a note on my gate telling me that she had a son, "our son", seventeen years ago. The note asked that I call her and make arrangements to meet him, because this is something he's wanted. It also said that she wants nothing from me, zero chid support, and that this is about him. I am in the process of trying to locate that note now. Anyway, thinking back at the time when we were seeing each other, I remembered that I was not the only one "she was seeing", if you know what I mean, which is why I stopped seeing her. I called and told her that I have doubts and refreshed her memory. She acted completely offended, claiming she "knows her body", and the boy is mine. I tell her before I could invest any time with him, I wanted to make sure that he is mine. Apparently, I wasn't moving fast enough for her, that she is taking matters into her own hands. Needless to say, she is now upset and is threatening to take me to court for back pay in child support. She has never tried to make ANY attempts to see or contact me before six months ago. The only reason I even know now, is because this is something her son wanted. Had I known earlier, I would have been there for him. So this is what I need to know, what kind of options or rights do I have? I mean, does she even have a case for back pay child support even if I never knew the child existed?
Also, she was married for over 10 years and has just recently divorced two years ago. (I heard that if a parent with children from previous relationships, gets married, and the new partner does not adopt any, the state will still recognize that partner as support for the child; for reasons such as claiming for taxes, etc., is that true?)
Thanks :confused:

You can only be responsible for child support after paternity has been established.

Are you listed as the father on the birth certificate?

I am not sure what name is on the birth certificate. Is that something I can retreive online to find out?
And as far as the paternity, I figured I'll just wait until the court order for the parternity testing. Would that be the thing the do? HELP

You will have to pay for the DNA testing. The court will put the burden of truth on you to prove you are not the father.

I would go ahead and do it now, if possible, and save yourself potentially a fortune in legal bills.

It is my understanding that you could claim not to be the father if she takes you to court, and the judge would order the test, and if it comes out not a match, then you don't have to pay. This is only my opinion based on what I have read on other forums. It is called due process, that they can not just name you as the father just because you don't have the money to prove otherwise. I will try to find this post and send it your way.

If the judge ordered the test, and it does in fact comes to be a match, can she actually file for back pay in child support even though I never knew about the child in the first place? She never even made ANY attemtpts to contact me. I mean, how was I suppose to be responsible for something I knew absolutely nothing about for seventeen years.

If the judge ordered the test, and it does in fact comes to be a match, can she actually file for back pay in child support even though I never knew about the child in the first place? She never even made ANY attemtpts to contact me. I mean, how was I suppose to be responsible for something I knew absolutely nothing about for seventeen years.
As cyjeff mentioned earlier, I think that child support starts to be due at the time of paternity estabishment. If you are in doubt, call your child support enforcement division, and ask them what you have asked us, I assume since they enforce payment of child support, they would know.

Also, I would do everything possible to find that note!