i live with my inlaws for about 4 months now, I just had a baby about a month ago. I told my inlaws that i was planning on moving back to NY with my son and they said that they would not let me. now i know they can't stop me from moving. my question is... could i get in trouble for just leaving without telling anyone? me and my wife obviously both have equal custody. but i dont like the fact that her parents are trying to tell me i can't leave or they will call child protective services. to piss them off i said that i was gonna get on a plane in the middle of the night and just take off without telling anyone including my wife. i know its mean but i felt like no one can/should make decesions for my family but me and my wife.

Some advice please

i live with my inlaws for about 4 months now, I just had a baby about a month ago. I told my inlaws that i was planning on moving back to NY with my son and they said that they would not let me. now i know they can't stop me from moving. my question is... could i get in trouble for just leaving without telling anyone? me and my wife obviously both have equal custody. but i dont like the fact that her parents are trying to tell me i can't leave or they will call child protective services. to piss them off i said that i was gonna get on a plane in the middle of the night and just take off without telling anyone including my wife. i know its mean but i felt like no one can/should make decesions for my family but me and my wife.

Some advice please
tell your inlaws to blow it out their ear. this is your child, and you can take the child any damm place you please, and if they try to stop you, you will file interference with parental custody charges against them, and they will never see their grandchild again. they have no rights here.

You can not leave the state with your child and not tell your WIFE where you are going. If your wife files for custody in california and you are not able to be notified, she could win full custody of the child by default. If she filed for custody or divorce with in 6 months of you leaving, you would have to return to fight a custody battle and judges frown on parents stealing children from the other parents in the middle of the night. You may wish to research California law on Moving out of state and notification of the other parent. Most states have laws that prevent the custodial parent from leaving and preventing the other parent from visiting. (I know this all to well as I am now back living in a state I do not want to be in!)
IF you are not legally married and paternity of the child is not established, you would have no rights to visitation much less custody.
If your In-laws are giving you problems, perhaps you, your wife, and the child should move. IF your wife moves with you, you would not have to say anything to the in-laws.
Ignore Kelly's advice as it would just get you in trouble. You could not press interferance of custody charges as niether you or your wife have yet to have a court ordered custody/visitation agreement. Some states do have grandparent visitation rights, I'm not sure about California. I'm sure others will come along ans state the same thing!

I told my inlaws that i was planning on moving back to NY with my son and they said that they would not let me.

to piss them off i said that i was gonna get on a plane in the middle of the night and just take off without telling anyone including my wife.

You can, of course, move yourself without telling anyone, including your wife (although that doesn't sound like much respect to the woman who just had your child).

I don't understand the part about moving back to NY with your son. Is this the one month old you are talking about, a different child with your current wife, or a son from a different mother? Seems to me that would make a big difference.

I lived with my wife's parents for a short time, too, and I understand the difficulties. If they are helping your family out, you should at least try to be respectful to them...please don't tell them to "blow it out their ear." Be a reasonable man who is thinking about his family and work it out like adults. Kelly abernathy is giving you idiotic advice that will backfire on you in the long run.

me and my wife are fine together. were not fighting over custody. she has no problem moving only she doesnt want to upset her parents. i was thinking of just leaving without her that way it would force her to make the move. would that be considered as kidnapping? i heard of a guy who took his kid to central america and the mother said she couldnt do anything because they both had equal custody and there would be no charge to him. is it different in every state?

tell your inlaws to blow it out their ear. this is your child, and you can take the child any damm place you please, and if they try to stop you, you will file interference with parental custody charges against them, and they will never see their grandchild again. they have no rights here.
Oh, shut the h#%* up and STOP posting INCORRECT info.
I am reporting your post to the administrator.

The problem with you leaving out of state is that your new state would not have jurisdiction over the child for 6 months. So your wife encouraged by the in-laws could file for custody or divorce. You would have to return to california. Look you can move. You can NOT move your child out of state away from the other parent. If you do that, you could face losing custody of your child. You would be in USA and you could be tracked down by your social. If you did not return the child to the mom, (because she could get custody by default) then you could actually face jail time for being in contempt of court etc..;
IF you leave with your wife and the child, Then the in-laws could do nothing about it. But you can not, take a child and hide it away from the other parent.
Your wife has rights to the child.

i understand. i wouldnt keep the baby from mom, never intended too. what if i leave a note saying where im going for like a vacation. woulnt that show that i intend to comeback and not on anyones schedule but mine. or maybe just tell my wife to come with me to visit and just never return. could she then do the same and return withut telling me?

this is all hypathetical, im just trying to fiqure a way to leave with her and the baby, because i know her parents will convince her to stay, put the guilt trip, etc etc

i want to do it my way but the legal way, because i dont want a divorce or custody battle (women always win that fight)

best advice much appreciated?

thanks for the advice already given

i understand. i wouldnt keep the baby from mom, never intended too. what if i leave a note saying where im going for like a vacation. woulnt that show that i intend to comeback and not on anyones schedule but mine. or maybe just tell my wife to come with me to visit and just never return. could she then do the same and return withut telling me?

this is all hypathetical, im just trying to fiqure a way to leave with her and the baby, because i know her parents will convince her to stay, put the guilt trip, etc etc

i want to do it my way but the legal way, because i dont want a divorce or custody battle (women always win that fight)

best advice much appreciated?

thanks for the advice already given

How about marriage counseling? (Seriously) As to the leaving, why don't you just take the child and move into an apartment in the same city for right now until you and your wife can get this worked out. You and she have equal rights to the child, and if you are not moving AWAY with the child, you do not have any risk of being forced to return the child. The core solution here is going to be if your wife decides she wants to be a wife and mother or remain her parents' little girl. Taking off with the child is not going to solve that problem.