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tnstarling10
09-04-2006, 03:42 PM
I am 17 years old and I am 7 months pregant I am a full time student and I am even doing extra classes so I will not have to take alot of class after my baby comes. I have been with the babies dad for almost a year and a half. 3 weeks ago he broke up with me and is trying to move on with his life. He don't call to ask how I am doing and when I say something about the baby he changes the subject really quick. Its kinda like hes trying to advoid it and he don't want to deal with anything he tells me that we have 3 months to worry about everything. I really do not know what to do I care about him alot and want to be with him. But he has already moved on and has a girlfriend. We do not live together and never have. He has also made the comment that he is going to take the baby when ever he wants to and he wants to take him to the mountians in dec. and the days that him and hes family are going is only 3 weeks after my due date. The reason I am writing this is to see if anyone knows where I can find out the rights that he has to the baby....Thanks

stuckinamuck
09-04-2006, 05:50 PM
Since you are not married, he has Zero rights to the baby till paternity is established. He will have to go to court and ask for custody/visitation. You will have to ask for child support.
Custody and visitation agreements are never "whenever he wants to". They are usually very specific dates and times. Very scheduled.
It is doubtful that a baby 3 weeks old would be able to take a trip up the "mountains". A small baby needs it's bottles boiled and warm, clean purified water for formula. I hope he was talking about a cabin with running water. He probably has some very unrealistic expectations about parenthood and the true responsibiltys that going to have to be faced.
He is correct about one thing "we have 3 months to worry about everything". Nothing legally can be done till the baby is born.

tnstarling10
09-05-2006, 07:33 AM
Yes, They were staying in a cablin. But it has already been established that I am breastfeeding even with the Dr. The thing about the 3 months that was about us working things out nothing with the baby. He thinks that the baby is going to change everything between us and make things better. So until we have the test done he has no rights at all to the baby? So, I can file for custody and then he can just get visotation? See I want him to be able to see him and have something to do with him. But he has in his mind he can take him when ever he wants to. And hes parents are pushing alot on him about the whole thing. Do they have a say so in any of this? Or does Florida have a no grandparents law?

stuckinamuck
09-05-2006, 07:58 AM
I don't think you understood. You have full custody of the child when it is born. HE can not even visit the baby unless you let him. You have all the control until HE files to establish paternity and asks the court of Visitation or custody. The only way he could get custody is if you are unfit, abusive, etc. The grandparents and the boyfriend are legally strangers to the baby till he established paternity.
***For females only***
IF you plan to breastfeed, then you should know a few things. The child can not be away from you for more than 3 hours. Or you will need to pump and the baby will need a bottle. Try not to give the baby a bottle. The milk from bottles comes out much faster and the baby does not have to suck as hard to get the milk. You will have a hard time getting the child to want the breast after being given bottles. If you must use a bottle, use Avent brand (or one designed for breastfeeding babies) and most bottle nipples have "ages" on them. Buy newborn. The reason is the holes in the nipples get bigger as the child gets older and needs to drink more. You will have to "plan ahead" for visits and pump so that you have milk for the visits..... I breast fed and it was not easy. IF dad thinks he can just come and get the baby whenever, you won't have any milk ready. I couldn't ever pump more than 4oz when my son was a newborn and that took like 30 minutes. You may have to mix the breast milk and formula. Do you have WIC?? They usually have programs to help mom's breast feed. Some hospitals and Wic programs can help you with getting pumps.(You will need a pump at some point, breast pads (for leaks) and special breastfeeding cream that is "edible" and sterile so you don't have chapped skin on your nipples).

mommyof4
09-05-2006, 08:17 AM
I feel it also needs to be addressed that just because a mother chooses to breastfeed her child, that will NOT negate regular and consistent visitation should the father choose to sue for custody/visitation.

tnstarling10
09-05-2006, 11:21 AM
So does it matter than I am a full time senior in high-school taking extra classes and do not have a job? So really if there is nothing worng with me and I am a good mother then he can't get custody? I still live at home with my parents and they are the ones that are helping me out thur this. Can he use that I do not have a job or a car that is mine I mean I have one but I got in a wreck and its not fixed yet. Can he use that aganist me? So really he can ask for a paternity test and get visitation is all. I heard some women can not pump enough milk for the baby to get full, what if that happens? He will only be able to take him for a certian amount of time? What if he gets hungry? Or will I have to go on the visitation with him? Say that he take him and he gets hungry, and him or his mom( he lives with his parents) gives the baby formula, can they do that sense I will be breastfeeding? No I have not went and got WIC yet, but we do have a office her in the town that I live in. Oh yeah, and if he has a paternity test done, he will have to pay child support then right? Or if he pays child support does he automatically get visitation?

stuckinamuck
09-05-2006, 02:07 PM
He would get visitation if he asked for it. There are two ways this can happen:

He establishes paternity by filing a motion for visitation/ joint custody.
Then as part of that proceedure child support would be issued.

You file for child support. Paternity is established. Then he still has to go to court and ask for visitation.

This will all take time and it will give you plenty of time to establish a feeding routine for the baby. If you do not pump enough milk they would have to give the baby formula. If the visitation is court ordered-you could not go along for the visit just to feed the child (unless you just found the one in a million judge that thought that was in the best interest of the child-very doubtful). You will just have to prepare ahead of time. Breast milk can be frozen( I think 3 months? you'll want to check that.) and later heated and given to the baby in a bottle. They sell special bags for freezing breast milk. You'll just want to make sure you have bottles that are for breastfeeding babies( Like Avent Brand ). You can give the child formula and breast milk. I worked and breastfed. My son got breast milk and if there was not enough he got formula while I was at work. You're going to be in school next semester and the baby will have to be fed milk or formula. (Newborns can't have juice.) You'll probably have to provide the bottles and the formula to the dad so that during the visits -your child will have the same as at your home or babysitters. Just make sure you specify to use the breast milk first then the formula. Breastmilk that is in the fridge only lasts 24hours because it is not pasterized, so if they don't use it, it's trash. If he has an overnight visit then you could ask if you could drop by fresh Breast milk in the morning (pumped during the night while the baby is gone).
Since his living conditions are the same as his (both with parents) I don't see how that would factor in. Plus if you are a full time student , you shouldn't be required to work, yet.
WIC is a great resource. It is income based but they may not make you count your parents income since you are pregnant. (They definately will not make you count your parent's income once you turn 18) They offer consults with dieticians, parenting classes(in some states), breast feeding help, and give the babies free Mini check ups (they make sure the weight/height are correct and immunizations are up to date) and of course milk, cheese, eggs. They also can provide breast feeding moms with the milk, eggs and cheese and give the baby formula if you have to do both. Once you stop breastfeeding the child will continue to get formula and later juice etc.

xena
09-06-2006, 12:08 AM
So does it matter than I am a full time senior in high-school taking extra classes and do not have a job? So really if there is nothing worng with me and I am a good mother then he can't get custody? I still live at home with my parents and they are the ones that are helping me out thur this. Can he use that I do not have a job or a car that is mine I mean I have one but I got in a wreck and its not fixed yet. Can he use that aganist me? So really he can ask for a paternity test and get visitation is all. I heard some women can not pump enough milk for the baby to get full, what if that happens? He will only be able to take him for a certian amount of time? What if he gets hungry? Or will I have to go on the visitation with him? Say that he take him and he gets hungry, and him or his mom( he lives with his parents) gives the baby formula, can they do that sense I will be breastfeeding? No I have not went and got WIC yet, but we do have a office her in the town that I live in. Oh yeah, and if he has a paternity test done, he will have to pay child support then right? Or if he pays child support does he automatically get visitation?
No, he won't be able to use any of the things you listed "against" you IF he wants custody, they won't even come into play concerning visitation.

The lack of income will come into play for the CS though. Since Fl requires both parents to support thier child the court will "impute" income to you (probably min. wage at 40 hrs a week). Imputing income just means that the court will use the amount that you could resonably expect to earn if you were working.

No, Fl. does not have any Grandparents rights statutes, so his parents have no legal standing at all.

I realize that you are anxious to get everything in order now, but as was pointed out already, there's nothing you can do until the baby is born- so for now just enjoy your pregnancy and relax. :)

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