i met a lady from texas living in nc. we saw each other a few times and she turned up pregnant. then she tells me she is married to a guy in texas but moved to nc to get away from him and get a divorce. she asked me if i wanted to be part of the childs life and i said no. she promised not to say who the father is. now she is 6 months pregnant, she says that her husband is responsible for the child unless she discloses who the father is. she wants me to sign over my legal rights. im ok with that if i wont have to pay child support or alimony and dont have to be a part of the babies life. she doesnt want me around for the baby and encourages me to sign the papers so she can make her divorce final. what are the legal reprecussions if i sign my rights over. will i still have to pay child support or alimony? does her story sound true in your opinion about hold the husband responsible bacause they were still married? any help would be very useful.

thanks
mikeydread

i met a lady from texas living in nc. we saw each other a few times and she turned up pregnant. then she tells me she is married to a guy in texas but moved to nc to get away from him and get a divorce. she asked me if i wanted to be part of the childs life and i said no. she promised not to say who the father is. now she is 6 months pregnant, she says that her husband is responsible for the child unless she discloses who the father is. she wants me to sign over my legal rights. im ok with that if i wont have to pay child support or alimony and dont have to be a part of the babies life. she doesnt want me around for the baby and encourages me to sign the papers so she can make her divorce final. what are the legal reprecussions if i sign my rights over. will i still have to pay child support or alimony? does her story sound true in your opinion about hold the husband responsible bacause they were still married? any help would be very useful.

thanks
mikeydreadHer story about her husband being the legal father is true, sort of.... As long as she is still married, any child concieved and/or born during the marriage is a product of the marriage. She can take out a 40 page ad in the New York Times (or Charlotte Observer) declaring that you are the father of the child. Guess what? Legally, her husband is the father of the child. Biology and legal paternity are two different animals.

HOWEVER, you cannot terminate your parental rights until the child is born and you are legally found to be the father of the child (either by signing a form of acknowledgement of paternity or DNA testing). You HAVE no rights until you are found to be the legal father and sue for custody/visitation. On the flip side, you have no responsibility, either. She cannot file for you to pay CS until her husband disestablishes paternity and you are established as the father. The only thing you can do is wait for the child to be born and go from there.

Do NOT sign anything.

I AGREE 100%.

DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING!

All it would do is establish something you don't know... the baby's father.

You do not know for certain if the kid is yours, right? Think of it this way, a woman that has an affair on her husband wouldn't cheat on YOU, right?

Anyway... don't sign anything. If she wants to establish paternity and get child support, she will ask for a test. Until then, do nothing...

thanks for the great advice. im really happy i found this forum. so once i let things run its course and i am the father if i sign over rights will i still be obligated to pay cs even if i dont want to see the baby? this lady's plans are after having the baby here, to move to texas to be with her family. if im forced to pay cs i would want to see the baby, would i be able to keep them in nc? honestly this was a one night fling, and i dont want this baby. she has sent me letters telling me that she wouldnt hold me responsible because she felt like it was her fault for not telling me the truth about being on birth control. im def not going to sign anything until the courts make me but i just want a clearer picture on what options i would have at my disposal.

thanks again
mikeydread

You're not going to be able to just "sign over your rights" so you can avoid paying child support. Not gonna happen, sorry. You can't be forced to visit with the child or be a part of its life but you ARE required to provide financial support for your child whether you want to or not.


If the mother agrees that you should have nothing to do with the child, then paternity doesn't even need to be established in the first place.

I would request a paternity test before anything. Then go from there.