I live in tucson arizona. My "child" lives in virginia. here mom is sniffing the money i send up her nose.. her mother told me that she is pregnant once again. she cheated on my in july when we met and she had relations with another man the same month.. i feel soo jerry springer.. but anyways. her mother not that i trust her one second.. told me dont pay your child support.. have her take you to court and then very poilteyl say im a student.. ive been sick which i am i have a nodule/tumor growing in my left lung and say your honor i dont beleive this child is mine... RIght now im a college student/delivery driver so i dont make good money..what do you all think about that? not paying having her take me to court and say i don tbeleive the child is mine...?? any suggestions adivice will be greatly appreciated! thank you in advance

For you to be hit with CS, paternity had to be established.

How was it established the first time.

i didnt sign her birth certificate.... she doesnt have my last name and she took me to court.. she went to court and i did it over the phone.. and the judge asked do you beleive this child is mine and i said i have my doubts but i wnat to get this over with ,, i was stressing out too much and i missed work.. i miss work= little paycheck.. since i dont make much money i would of though i would have had to of paid child support from that day until the test went through.. so thats my situation...and i found out her mother makes 500 a week.. i make 1100 to 1200 a month... any way i can lower my payments?

i also said get this over with because i thought i would of had to of paid for the test.. i heard if you go through the courts theyll do it for you?/////

I think you have the responsiblity to pay for the test. It is not the state's responsiblity to establish paternity.

It may be time to pay for it.

I agree. You agreed to the child support and did not tell the judge that you did not want to pay for child support until paternity tests proved that you were the father, and that you were aware of her being unfaithful at the time of conception. The judge very well may have made her pay for it. She was the one who wanted the child support. Irreguardless, you let them start collecting. It is about a 500.00 test, so it would pay for itself many times in the future, and it would help your relationship with this child. Do you even see the child? You may be able to file for a modification of child support, but if your income is the same as when the judge originally set the child support amount, then it would be a waste of time. Do not ever stop paying child support without a court saying it is o.k., you could be charged with contempt of court for going against a court ordered payment. I may be wrong on this, but I think that is what happens. Good luck to you!

man you are right.. but at the time it was hard. everything was soo hard my dad didnt even know im young.. i dont ever see the child.. i just pay child support.. she left arizona to go to virginia .. she left me to be with her parents and all.. what can i do? i think im just going to continue paying the child support but say i want to get the paternity test.. how do i go of doing that?

http://www.state.wv.us/wvsca/docs/fall01/29683.htm It is about a person that paternity was established without proving paternity, you may find it useful or not, I did not read the whole thing.

Has paternity ever been established? Is there a current child support order?

Has paternity ever been established? Is there a current child support order?
Mom2him, I think the OP stated that he is paying court ordered child support, but no paternity has been established by DNA testing, this is what he wants help with. Good morning!

what happened is she told me she cheated on me.. she was in virginia im in arizona and she took a paternity test with the other guy. the test stated that the baby wasnt his.. so automatically im the father so she says...her mom tells me.. gosh i see this little girl every single day and i dont ssee a single ounce of you in her..ive learned many things about her now and well... i need to get a paternity test.. her mom gave me the number to some jdr courts in culpeper virginia but every time I call they give me the run around. and dont forget everybody.. money is an issue for me.. i work to pay child support and for college.. i have no life due to this.. college has to be paid for so i can better myself.. if i can get the paternity test for free then fine with me if not.. i can borrow money.. i heard she can take the baby to a lab over there and i can go to a lab over here...i am going to pay this weeks child support because im not lthat kind of person .. im a straight arrow and i dont like to mess around with the law...

I don't know how long it will take for the tests to come back, or how long after that, it would take the courts to drop the court ordered child support, so please just continue paying the child support until the court tells you you don't have to anymore. Keep us informed!

this site is awesome.. yea ill keep paying.. i have the courts numbers so ill keep calling and calling until i get what i want....! i wish i would of known about this website a while ago.. i wouldnt be on here ...

Just a little side note: some states have diffrent proceedures about payment of DNA test. IF the dad is found to be the dad -then he pays but if the dad is found not to be the dad the mom pays. Or heck bypass Jerry springer and go on the Maury show ...they do free DNA tests for the "guests".

Just a little side note: some states have diffrent proceedures about payment of DNA test. IF the dad is found to be the dad -then he pays but if the dad is found not to be the dad the mom pays. Or heck bypass Jerry springer and go on the Maury show ...they do free DNA tests for the "guests".
LOL, thanks stuckinamuck! Poster, keep in mind, we are not lawyers, we just try to help based on information we have gathered from experiences in life, or from the websites we are aware of. We are definately not a replacement for legal counsel. Keep us posted on how all this goes! :)

I would get a paternity test ASAP before you do anything.

ok everyone i have decided to pay for the dna test.. i called the virginia jdr courts and they said i have to be present to file papers.. im like? wha???? i live 2000 miles away... paying for the plane ticket alone will leave me out in the dark and i wouldnt have enough for a dna test...now what?

See if there is anything else you can do. Explain the situation and go from there. Maybe they will be willing to help you out. You never know....

I agree you should explain your situation. Ask if you can do it by phone.
Or call the local bar assn. in that area and ask about pro-bono attys or attys that work on a sliding scale for low income.

OR I have an alternitive : how long has mommy and child been out of state??? IF it is less than 6 months you can file papers in the old state.

Could the poster hire a lawyer from her state to prepare all paperwork, and take the D.N.A test in his home state, and have the results sent to the courts there?