I am the plaintiff in a domestic violence case against a man who continually used physical and psycholigical abuse against me. He often used the threat that, if he had to go to jail, (which the odds are he will as he fired a gun during an argument), he often threatened to do whatever he could to destroy my custody of my children as I am in a custody battle with my ex-husband. I am the primary residential parent and have been for their entire lives. I recently had to file contempt charges against my ex-husband because he refused to return the children to me. At the hearing my ex-husband showed up with an attorney at the last minute. I found out the next week from the state attorney that my abuser had an attorney and low and behold it is the same guy! Items came up at the contempt hearing that only my abuser would have known. Also, the attorney is a relative of the owner of the resturant where I work. Every lawyer that I have talked to says that I think it is sleazy but they probably think it is smart. The state attorney does not seem to be bothered either. How do I keep information from crossing the lines between the 2 cases. Is this fair? I also think the abuser is paying my ex-husband fees as he is broke. Can he use info from one case in other?

I am the plaintiff in a domestic violence case against a man who continually used physical and psycholigical abuse against me. He often used the threat that, if he had to go to jail, (which the odds are he will as he fired a gun during an argument), he often threatened to do whatever he could to destroy my custody of my children as I am in a custody battle with my ex-husband. I am the primary residential parent and have been for their entire lives. I recently had to file contempt charges against my ex-husband because he refused to return the children to me. At the hearing my ex-husband showed up with an attorney at the last minute. I found out the next week from the state attorney that my abuser had an attorney and low and behold it is the same guy! Items came up at the contempt hearing that only my abuser would have known. Also, the attorney is a relative of the owner of the resturant where I work. Every lawyer that I have talked to says that I think it is sleazy but they probably think it is smart. The state attorney does not seem to be bothered either. How do I keep information from crossing the lines between the 2 cases. Is this fair? I also think the abuser is paying my ex-husband fees as he is broke. Can he use info from one case in other?
DOUBLE POST

oops I goofed up in the title... I was hoping to find someone that might know how this would/could affect my custody hearing w/ the ex. The abuser used to tell me that he would do anything to make sure I never got my kids back. Knowing this, he has been in contact w/ the ex b/c he knew about my contempt hearing against the ex for not giving my children back or even have contact w/ them, 2 weeks prior and told me he was going to be there. He didn't show up but his attorney did... to represent my ex.. he was retained the day before the contempt hearing.

oops I goofed up in the title... I was hoping to find someone that might know how this would/could affect my custody hearing w/ the ex. The abuser used to tell me that he would do anything to make sure I never got my kids back. Knowing this, he has been in contact w/ the ex b/c he knew about my contempt hearing against the ex for not giving my children back or even have contact w/ them, 2 weeks prior and told me he was going to be there. He didn't show up but his attorney did... to represent my ex.. he was retained the day before the contempt hearing.
Isn't your ex boyfriend paying for your ex husbands attorney because your ex husband could not possibly afford it?

That is what I suspect... they do not know each other and have never met at least not while I was still living w/ the abuser(ex b/f). The abuser got my ex's # off the caller ID and threatened to call before and make up crap. Now that he is looking at min 3-5 yrs he has nothing to lose by continuing to abuse me emotionally and mentally thru my ex husband.. He just sold his property which was worth about $250,000 so he could have very easily retained the guy for my ex like I said it way too much a coincidence that this guy is representing the 2 men who want to mentally get jabs at me.

That is what I suspect... they do not know each other and have never met at least not while I was still living w/ the abuser(ex b/f). The abuser got my ex's # off the caller ID and threatened to call before and make up crap. Now that he is looking at min 3-5 yrs he has nothing to lose by continuing to abuse me emotionally and mentally thru my ex husband.. He just sold his property which was worth about $250,000 so he could have very easily retained the guy for my ex like I said it way too much a coincidence that this guy is representing the 2 men who want to mentally get jabs at me.
Honey, the reason why I asked you is because I thought, but didn't want to assume that you had allready started a thread on this subject. Please stick to the original thread or we will all be confused, and not know everything that was spoken of before in the original thread. Some people assume that posters do this to try to get different answers, if they just word it different, and they get mad if they put any time into answering the original thread. Please go to your original thread, and post something like, ok this is the original thread, and then if anyone has anything extra to add, they will at that time. Thanks so much!

I understand.. and I am sorry to offend.. like I said before I am still trying to figure out how this system works.. I changed boards b/c I thought that since the boards were different maybe someone in the family law forum would have some imput ... I didn't know that they all run together... I first was just putting the issue out there b/c I am trying to prove that this IS a conflict of interest b/c of the circumstances, from the legal stand point.. Then I thought maybe I should have been in the child custody forum . Please be patient w/ me I am just trying to get some insight on all this crap and figure out how to do it using this site... I dont' mean to cause caos. :(

I understand.. and I am sorry to offend.. like I said before I am still trying to figure out how this system works.. I changed boards b/c I thought that since the boards were different maybe someone in the family law forum would have some imput ... I didn't know that they all run together... I first was just putting the issue out there b/c I am trying to prove that this IS a conflict of interest b/c of the circumstances, from the legal stand point.. Then I thought maybe I should have been in the child custody forum . Please be patient w/ me I am just trying to get some insight on all this crap and figure out how to do it using this site... I dont' mean to cause caos. :(
OH no! You don't have to apologize, I just want to make sure that you get the help you need, and it is hard to do with 2 different threads on the same issue. Please don't feel bad! I didn't mean to make you feel that way.

Well good news on part of this... The sleezy attorney that was representing the abuser and my ex husband withdrew himself from the custody case! I don't know exactly how much this will help b/c now it may get continued but I do feel a little more at ease.

Well good news on part of this... The sleezy attorney that was representing the abuser and my ex husband withdrew himself from the custody case! I don't know exactly how much this will help b/c now it may get continued but I do feel a little more at ease.
I am so happy about that!

When I gave my deposition to this attorney about my abuser he told me afterwards that he had withdrew himself from the other case. I explained my concerns and said that was too big of coincidence. He just looked at the SA and nodded and said "Yes that was a quite a coincidence"The look he gave the SA I could tell there was an acknowledgement of some kind.

Anyway, my attorney has sent out discovery requests to my exhusband so what happens if he doesnt' have an attorney? When he formally withdraws will he forward those papers to my ex and it will be up to him to fill them out and file them or get another attorney?

When I gave my deposition to this attorney about my abuser he told me afterwards that he had withdrew himself from the other case. I explained my concerns and said that was too big of coincidence. He just looked at the SA and nodded and said "Yes that was a quite a coincidence"The look he gave the SA I could tell there was an acknowledgement of some kind.

Anyway, my attorney has sent out discovery requests to my exhusband so what happens if he doesnt' have an attorney? When he formally withdraws will he forward those papers to my ex and it will be up to him to fill them out and file them or get another attorney?
Sorry, I do not have the answers to that. I would imagine that the lawyer keeps these things, and when he retains another lawyer, he forwards them to him/her, unless he needs the papers to fill out now. This is purely a guess!

Originally Posted by swtjp
When I gave my deposition to this attorney about my abuser he told me afterwards that he had withdrew himself from the other case. I explained my concerns and said that was too big of coincidence. He just looked at the SA and nodded and said "Yes that was a quite a coincidence"The look he gave the SA I could tell there was an acknowledgement of some kind.

Anyway, my attorney has sent out discovery requests to my exhusband so what happens if he doesnt' have an attorney? When he formally withdraws will he forward those papers to my ex and it will be up to him to fill them out and file them or get another attorney?

yes it will be up to him. if he doesn't answer or produce whatever discovery is requested you and/or your attorney can file against your exhusband, depende on the court to what you can file. In most cases and states the Courts will not grant anyone extensions without good cause (heart attack, etc.) I would be very suprised if an extension was granted because the lawyer has withdrawn. NOW if your exhusband hires another lawyer before the deadline for such discovery, the lawyer may be able to get an extension.

I hope that info helps you some.

If your ex does not have an attorney, ask your lawyer to have him personally served with whatever papers he needs. That way, he won't be able to say that he didn't know about it.

Thanks for all of your responses... My attorney did tell me that when the papers were mailed to his attorney, he was in fact still his attorney to that date and his responsibiltiy to pass it on to my ex. I have done every thing I am supposed to be doing when it comes to my children,ie: following the shared parenting schedule and responsibilities. I keep him informed of anything involving my son and that is alot more than he deserves mind you. I signed my 6yr old up for cub scouts and gave him the info for him to attend the den meetings with our son if he chose to and asked him to split the cost of the uniform.. he told me that since I signed him up with discussing it with him first that it was my responsibility to cover all costs associated with it. Now I could understand if this was a sporting event or changing schools or baptizing him into a specific religion. This guy will look for any way to get out giving any money to supporting his children.

Don't worry, children remember these things. There will come a time when he will have to answer to your child for not being there. Your child will know you were always there, and you can't put a price on that.